Stupid Things You Believed as a Kid

[Huntingwhale]

-My mom used to tell me that PMS stood for Penny Money Saver. For the longest time I thought that when a girl had PMS, she was putting her allowance into her savings account.

-A camp counsellor once told me a story of a guy who flushed the toilet while sitting on it and it sucked the intestine right out of his ass. Even into my 20s I would never sit on a toilet as it flushed. Not because I believed it could happen, but what if...?

-When a man was having sex with a woman, I thought it was more like putting a hot dog into a bun. You hold it there and the sperm would sweat out of your wiener, instead of the in and out motion and eventual climax we all know and love.

-I used to think that when someone died in a movie, that they actually died in real life. The director would ask them if they were cool with sacrificing their life to make this movie and the actors who died said yes.

[Language]

I remember believing that the Undertaker actually came back from the dead when he made his return to the WWF. I was about 8 years old at the time.

[sun]

Originally Posted by Huntingwhale

-When a man was having sex with a woman, I thought it was more like putting a hot dog into a bun. You hold it there and the sperm would sweat out of your wiener, instead of the in and out motion and eventual climax we all know and love.

Amazing.

[Drak]

If you rolled your chewed gum between your fingers it would get bigger. Didn't work for me but seemed to work for my older brother and his friend

[Redliner]

I was convinced that Arkansas was pronounced "Arr-Kansas" and thought it was stupid that two states should have such similar names. The first time I heard someone say it correctly I had no idea what they were talking about.

[Dion]

A strip club was a place where you had to take off all your clothes before you could sit down and have a drink.

[PaperBagger'14]

Golf courses were just there. No manicuring or landscaping, just rolling hills with the occasional beach and lakes.

[OutOfTheCube]

My parents told me elks were huge and mean/dangerous. So I had scared imaginations of them walking up to my (second story) window in the city and trying to bash their way in.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

That I was destined to be an NFL wide receiver.

I believed that too, but with hockey.

I was sure that if one day, the right person came and saw me play, he would see something special and scoop me right out of house leagues and I'd be on the fast track to the big leagues.

One day Lanny showed up at a game I was playing in Springbank. He was standing right near the boards. I was sure it was my chance. He winked, nodded, and gave the thumbs up to all the kids rubbernecking at him, myself included, but he didn't pluck me out of obscurity like I'd dreamed. I think one of his own kids was playing after me, and Lanny wasn't there on a scouting mission at all. It was a pretty quiet drive home.

[FlamesAddiction]

I used to think the handicap symbol of a stick man sitting in a 3/4 circle was the symbol for bathrooms (I though it showed someone sitting on a toilet). It made sense to me because it was on a lot of bathroom doors.

Seeing them in parking lots confused me though and I thought it was a place where homeless people could go if they needed to.

[FireGilbert]

I thought the first line of the national anthem was "O Canada, our home and naked land"

Originally Posted by scotty2hotty

Another one ... March Madness ... for about a decade I thought that UConn was Yukon. Couldn't believe that such a small Canadian territory was able to compete with the big US schools.

This one too. Doesn't help they are called the Huskies.

Originally Posted by Ben_in_Canada

From driving past them numerous times I thought that the Big Banana & Big Pineapple were actually real, big, fruit.

Spoiler!

Australia has a lot of 'BIG' things.

I visited the big Ugg boots on the weekend. Can't get more Aussie than that!

[getbak]

I couldn't understand why the Mac's Midget Tournament was played at a place called the Mac's Ballerina.

[FireGilbert]

Also, I always thought the saying was "play it by year" instead of "play it by ear". Not just as a kid but literally until one month ago

[FFR]

My sister in law thought dinosaurs were imaginary. Well into her 20s. We only found out by accident when she mentioned it during a conversation about the Royal Tyrell Museum. Apparently the religious school she attended in her young elementary years formed some lasting impressions - she said she was thought this.

As for me, I was pretty sure all bees were killer bees and that they hated shade so I would hide there to not get stung.

[FlamesAddiction]

When I was a kid I thought the word "slut" just meant a pretty or attractive girl. I had a couple of older sisters who were teens when I was pretty young and it seemed to me that every time they talked about a girl who they said was a slut, she was also really good looking.

I remember being out in public somewhere, walking by a pretty girl and saying to my mother; "That slut has a really nice sweater". I got in so much trouble...lol.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by polak

Polish grandparents are THE WORST for this. Here's a few they told me off the top of my head:

1. The drunks around town kidnap children and keep them in their basement so stay away from them.

2. If you play with fire you will pee your pants.

3. Going outside with your hair wet will make you sick (people still believe this)

4. Dreaming about teeth means someone in your life is going to die.

5. Probably the most common one that any eastern european person can relate to: YOU CANNOT have two windows open in separate rooms as it creates a cross breeze and that cross breeze is guaranteed to get you sick. This is another one that people actually believe there.

I was always told that bad kids grew up to become gypsies and it was a big threat when I was bad that I would be sold to the gypsies.

As far as superstitions go, my dad seriously believed that if you left a knife on the table or counter top, you were inviting danger to come from the direction it was pointing. I would get in trouble if I ever left a knife out. To this day, I still wash knives and put them away right after using them. It drives me bonkers seeing people leave them out when I am at other people's houses. I usually go put them in the sink at least.

Oh, and he also really believed that you should knock on wood. The theory was that the wood contained vengeful spirits that were out to ruin you and prevent good things from happening to you, and when you knocked on it, the spirits would not hear you or forget what you just said. So of course, I believed it. It's a cultural hangover from the old pagan religions I believe.