2011 Fireplace Arm Guy Thread....The Return!

[octothorp]

Originally Posted by Stranger

Women's Lib has reached the Fireplace Arm Industry too!

Bah, she's just confused it with a cookstove; I'm sure if you watch long enough she'll try to make a sandwich on it or something.

[pylon]

Albeit the leg sighting was very unicorn'esque in its nature, she simply doesn't stoke the fire with the same confidence, urgency and purpose as the genuine FPAG. Too much hesitancy in the log placement as well, I could sense fear. FPAG reaches in, with his bare hand, almost as if he is mocking the fire, taunting it to burn his leathery skin. Fire tending is still a mans world, and I find watching the Telus feed, is tantamount to watching women's Olympic hockey. Yes it is the same sport, but it lacks the physicality and intensity of the pro game.

Perhaps in a few years we will see improvements but for now, FPAG 1.0 is the prime ticket.

[Stranger]

Now if it was "Naked Fireplace Arm Girl" it would be a whole different story! Ratings would double. Nothing like a bare arm up to the elbow, stoking a fire, and adding logs to get you through a cold winter night.

[Otto-matic]

He came close to fumbling a log but kept everything under control with minimal flare up, such grace.

[Prototype]

The Telus fireplace just featured someone roasting a marshmallow on the open flame. October may have been on to something.

[killer_carlson]

Innovation in the FPAG battles? A marshmallow? That's amazing.

[Prototype]

I don't know what they are called, but the Telus Fire Girl just used one of those accordian puffer things to get the fire going. She's bringing her A game... Creativity at its finest.

[Stranger]

Originally Posted by Prototype

I don't know what they are called, but the Telus Fire Girl just used one of those accordian puffer things to get the fire going. She's bringing her A game... Creativity at its finest.

And the "Brotherhood of Fireplace Arm Guys Union" said a woman could do a manly job like this.

[Vulcan]

Originally Posted by Prototype

I don't know what they are called, but the Telus Fire Girl just used one of those accordian puffer things to get the fire going. She's bringing her A game... Creativity at its finest.

It's called a bellows. Tell us or better pictures, if she does it the old fashioned way.

[The Goon]

I am waiting for Shaw VOD to have a porn knockoff of the Holiday Fireplace available.

[pylon]

Originally Posted by Prototype

I don't know what they are called, but the Telus Fire Girl just used one of those accordian puffer things to get the fire going. She's bringing her A game... Creativity at its finest.

Pfft. FPAG 1.0 doesn't need a bellows.

He sticks his face 1 inch from the logs and huffs his manly breath into the fire.

Bellows.... amateur.

[MRCboicgy]

Yep, Shaw FPAG is all man.

[zuluking]

So I turned on the Telus FPAG channel and it was the same episode as I watched the day before! Girl puts on a few sticks, than a large log. Dude with hairy arms takes over. Ratchets it up with a handful of sticks than a large square log. Pulls out the bellows needlessly, but probably to add an element of excitement. Then he pulls out the marshmallow stick. How can it get any better? ... ...

Shockingly, out of nowhere, it resets. Restarts the loop, I presume. I don't know why I was hoping people manned a 24x7 fire until Christmas, but I'm now horribly, horribly disappointed. Hell, this fire may not even be from this year. This could be last year's damned fire! How can I go back to Telus FPAG if all of the mystery and suspense has been mercilessly yanked out of it?!?!

[TurnedTheCorner]

Kind of disappointed that the channel doesn't include Christmas music as well. C'mon people, it's 2011. We have the technology.

[Stranger]

Originally Posted by zuluking

So I turned on the Telus FPAG channel and it was the same episode as I watched the day before! Girl puts on a few sticks, than a large log. Dude with hairy arms takes over. Ratchets it up with a handful of sticks than a large square log. Pulls out the bellows needlessly, but probably to add an element of excitement. Then he pulls out the marshmallow stick. How can it get any better? ... ...

Shockingly, out of nowhere, it resets. Restarts the loop, I presume. I don't know why I was hoping people manned a 24x7 fire until Christmas, but I'm now horribly, horribly disappointed. Hell, this fire may not even be from this year. This could be last year's damned fire! How can I go back to Telus FPAG if all of the mystery and suspense has been mercilessly yanked out of it?!?!

Hollywood is out of ideas. It's all remakes now.

[Khel]

Just flipped on Telus FPAG, and witnessed the most heinous FPAG moment. First she pokered the fire way over to the right side, then when she placed the new log, it fell off the back of the fire, and she had to make a 2nd appearance to fix it.

Looks like shes got some learning to do...

[Otto-matic]

Originally Posted by Khel

Just flipped on Telus FPAG, and witnessed the most heinous FPAG moment. First she pokered the fire way over to the right side, then when she placed the new log, it fell off the back of the fire, and she had to make a 2nd appearance to fix it.

Looks like shes got some learning to do...

Rookie mistakes, she'll learn.

[annasuave]

So, I got to wondering this evening, settling down in front of Shaw's Holiday Fireplace for the evening if it would be wrong, would it be so very wrong, to record a few hours?

Thinking ahead to some frosty night in September - maybe I'll get a hankering to watch a little Holiday Fireplace of an evening. "Hey kids!" I'd holler "Gather round! Momma's made some hot chocolate and its HOLIDAY FIREPLACE TIME!"

But then, as Zuluking point out - we may very well be watching last year's fire and not know it.

That, and I don't have kids.

[annasuave]

7:37pm- my first personal sighting this year! Green/blue plaid clad arm gives fire a jolly good poking. Many, many sparks. Log *almost* rolls out of the fire, but FPAG catches it with the poker and stuffs it back in. Manfully places a new log with a bare hand. Nice vertical placement, and a good mellow fire resumes. Ahhhhhh.

I swear I heard him opening a beer in the background.

[vanisleflamesfan]

HAHA! I just checked out @ShawFireLog on twitter and on the "Similar to" section it suggested that I also follow Kermitology!!