Would you marry someone of a different religion? Race? Hockey Team Preference? - Page 3 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

photon · 10-21-2009, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler

If someone wouldnt marry you because of religion, that's a HUGE red flag right there that the person is not well in the head to begin with

I don't think that's necessarily the case.

It's less marrying/not marrying someone because of their religion, it's just simply a matter of compatibility.

If you're going to spend your life with someone you want to be pretty compatible, and working out major areas of contention are pretty important.

Even two people of the same religion might not be compatible.. if one believes in daily prayer and Bible reading and that the man is the spiritual leader of the home and "wives, submit to your husbands", while the other takes a more liberal laid back position that might be as much a problem as two people serious about different religions.

For some religion isn't just a system of beliefs and morals, it's foundational to the salvation of their soul.. if one (or both!) spouse is trying to convert the other constantly, that could eventually become a problem in the relationship.

So someone wanting not to marry someone from another religion in some cases is a good thing IMO, it means they're trying to find someone they are compatible with long term.

Plus throwing kids into the mix makes things even more complicated.

I know couples that were of different religion and got married and had no problems until the question of "what do we raise the kids as" came up!

It's just one of those things that should be talked about and considered before getting married.

The other person's family is another one that people sometimes don't consider when getting married. Sure you love her, but what if her family is a bunch of crazy racists and you're on the top of their list? It might seem romantic and bold to go ahead and get married, but you are denying your kids from having at least one set of grandparents, maybe exposing the kids to a lifetime of open hostility? No situation is ideal, and dealing with the less than ideal is life, but still all things should be at least considered.

flip · 10-21-2009, 08:31 PM

Photon that was totally what I meant to post but instead the Billy Madison quote just appeared.

Displaced Flames fan · 10-21-2009, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jammies

Yes, but that's you. Few people are that in control of their emotions, and I'm certainly not.

I think the majority of people are more in line with "that compulsion to do things that you know are not a good idea precisely because they aren't good ideas". It's not so much being conned, as weighting the short-term as being far more important than the long-term; people aren't dumb so much as insufficiently far-sighted.

Is that why I'm still thinking about taking a job opportunity back home in Kalispell (deadline is tomorrow) even though I know very well that it is not the right time?

dre · 10-21-2009, 08:35 PM

I am French, my wife is English.
I am catholic, my wife wants to be a Buddhist
I LOVE hockey, my wife HATES hockey.
Its a perfect marriage!

Cheese · 10-21-2009, 08:38 PM

the old adage "opposites attract" is a farce and really is meant only to discuss magnetic theory.

Couples should be as close to compatible in all areas as possible...otherwise you simply float apart.
In saying this...its impossible to find someone who matches exactly, so cheering for the same team is a must!!! LOL

killer_carlson · 10-21-2009, 08:39 PM

when I proposed to my wife on the way back to where we were staying, I told her that she had to convert.

She asked to Catholicism - no problem she said.

I said, well and to Catholicism, but really what I meant is that she had to convert to being a Flames fan and promise that our kids will be raised as Flames fans, even if we live in Edmonton.

She accepted.

jammies · 10-21-2009, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Is that why I'm still thinking about taking a job opportunity back home in Kalispell (deadline is tomorrow) even though I know very well that it is not the right time?

Probably, although it could also be that your current situation is the long-term loser and you are willing to suffer in the short-term to fix it. That's a question you'd have to answer yourself.

I can't remember where I read about it, but I know there have been experiments where people who have had a callosotomy (their left and right brains have been physically separated by having the corpus callosum severed) are flashed cue cards that say things like "Leave the Room" or "Get a Coke" where only the right side (non-verbal) could see them, yet when asked questions like "Why did you leave the room?" or "Why did you grab a coke out of the fridge" they justify their actions with post-facto rationalizations out of the left brain, and when further tested, truly believe the stories the left brain has made up to create a consistent narrative of consciousness and motivation.

That shows - to me anyway - how embedded the need to rationalize our thoughts and decisions runs, and how you can never be completely sure that what you are thinking and deciding is truly rational, or merely wish-fulfillment driven by your dark underminds.

Ozy_Flame · 10-21-2009, 08:50 PM

Ha! Religion, race, whatever....All sins are committed and repented for in the sack!

TheyCallMeBruce · 10-21-2009, 08:51 PM

I'd rather date a girl that hates hockey, than has an affiliation to either the canucks or oilers. Seriously, I don't think I can stand her gloating over a win by any of those 2 teams.

Sainters7 · 10-21-2009, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

I'd rather date a girl that hates hockey, than has an affiliation to either the canucks or oilers. Seriously, I don't think I can stand her gloating over a win by any of those 2 teams.

I used to think that way too. Now I'm dating an Oilers fan. Believe me, its way better listening to her cheering against your team than to get into a fight about her not wanting to watch the game at all. At least on Saturday nights I can watch hockey in peace without getting b*tched at.

Besides, I never have to worry about hearing her gloat because her team never wins anyways.

TurnedTheCorner · 10-21-2009, 09:01 PM

Religion? Extremely unlikely. I'm not a religious person.
Race? Probably not, but crazier things have happened.
Hockey team? lulz. Why the hell not?

habernac · 10-21-2009, 09:15 PM

yes on all accounts. Religion, as long as you weren't too hardcore I wouldn't care. Race, I dated them all when I was younger. People are beautiful, why limit yourself? Sports team affiliation, who cares? If they like sports, right on.

Puppet Guy · 10-21-2009, 09:22 PM

keep in mind that in Canada, your religion and your hockey team are pretty much the same thing. Except that your hockey team is MUCH more important.

...I'm a Flames fan and my wife's a Habs fan and we get along fine except the two times a year that the two play each other. A Flames/Habs Stanley Cup final would result in someone sleeping on the couch. I hope she finds it comfy.

RougeUnderoos · 10-21-2009, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EDBTZ12

Most middle eastern people are brought up to marry your own kind. I would be thinking of my potential children first of all and how i would want them to be raised.

Assuming you are in Canada, does this still apply?

Redliner · 10-21-2009, 10:03 PM

Photon hit the nail on the head. The religion question, at least, is not a matter of superiority or inferiority - it's a matter of compatibility. I dated many girls with religious views ranging from Atheist all the way to devout Buddhist. Even though I didn't always agree with their beliefs, I respected them enough as people to respect their beliefs. Truth is, their beliefs and values shaped their lives and molded them into interesting and diverse people, and without that foundation, who is to say they wouldn't have turned out completely different and I wouldn't have been interested in them at all? Religion can be a prickly subject, but if the relationship is built on mutual respect, those differences can provide hours of very interesting, constructive, and thought-provoking conversation.

That said, when it came time to settle down and get married, I'll admit I looked for someone with a belief system similar to my own. Although it seems to fly in the face of the majority around here, I am deeply religious and wanted someone who would both understand and support my beliefs, and allow me to do the same for her. It also made sense as far as children are concerned. My kids are free to choose for themselves what they will believe, but I will share my beliefs with them and raise them in the manner that my wife and I agree on - including the religious aspects. (I can just feel some of you out there warming those flamethrowers up. Go ahead, flame away) The long and short is that religion, if it is to be a part of any relationship, should be something to bind two people together, not tear them apart; and this is much more easily accomplished if the two people share a common system of belief.

Race or skin colour has never mattered to me, nor do I believe it should. Period.

Hockey teams? THAT is some serious business. I was lucky enough to end up with a Flames fan, (in fact, our first serious date was to a Flames game - they lost to the Avs 4-1) so I guess it was a match made in heaven right from the start.

My parents have managed to keep a Flames/Oilers marriage together for nearly 40 years though. My mother lived in Edmonton as a child and claims to be an Oilers fan, even though she doesn't even watch hockey and couldn't name a single Oilers player if she tried. My dad is all Flames, but he tolerates her greasy mullet-loving tendencies up to a point. She brought an Oilers bath towel home once and the next day it was out in the garage being used as a shop rag while my dad did an oil change on his truck. Damn truck never did run properly again.

Montana Moe · 10-21-2009, 10:18 PM

Religion: No problem, I was raised Lutheran and am now Atheist, my wife is a non-practicing Jew. I would likely have a hard time with a pushy religious wife, no matter what the religion.

Race: I've dated many women of different races, most before I was married.

Joking, infidelity isn't cool... Though my celeb "list" is mostly women of different races.

Hockey Team: Here it's mostly women that don't follow hockey, so when I met my wife that had family in Lethbridge/Crossfield and was a Flames fan, that sealed the deal!

drewboy12 · 10-21-2009, 10:31 PM

ci senior! I would... But I cant even talk to girls

3 Justin 3 · 10-21-2009, 10:59 PM

Awesome tags, "Cream in the coffee", ahaha, brilliant.

604flames · 10-21-2009, 11:02 PM

My girlfriend is a Canucks fan... She'll learn.

Russic · 10-21-2009, 11:23 PM

I married a Canuck fan ... She's awesome although a bit misguided. She's a very good Canuck fan (yes they do exist) and we have a mutual respect and rule structure in place (no gloating, ever).

Religion would be a tough one depending on how extreme the differences were. If she used religion as an excuse to exclude an entire group of people (such as gays) it would be a deal killer. If she just believed in what she wanted and didn't try to rattle any cages I'd see no major issues.

Race? Why the eff not? We all feel the same on the inside. We're all the same on the inside.