Being shot down because of my skin colour

[JiriHrdina]

Originally posted by HelloHockeyFans+Sep 7 2005, 11:58 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (HelloHockeyFans @ Sep 7 2005, 11:58 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Agamemnon@Sep 7 2005, 10:53 PM
I wouldn't be surprised if there were TONS of white guys (many of my friends included... maybe myself), who might not overtly say "I only date white chicks', but at the same time, they 'feel' that they are only attracted to caucasians. Is this racism? Is it racist when you harbour no ill-will towards any other races, but prefer to stick with your own 'kind' in romantic circles?

I think so.

When you make a decision based on a person's race, that is, by definition, racism.

At least, that's how I feel. [/b][/quote]
I understand what you are saying but again I ask the question. How is it different from someone only being attracted to blonde girls? Or tall guys? Or redheads? Its all part of the physical attributes that form a great deal of the basis for attraction. Shallow? Yes. Racist? Not sure.

[DJRice]

Originally posted by HelloHockeyFans@Sep 7 2005, 10:42 PM
Her, not wanting to get into a relationship with you because of your race, is by definition, racism.

Choosing to not date someone because of their race is most definitely racist. The decision your friend made was based on preference. But let's not forget that it was a decision made with a racist viewpoint.

So true, its just like saying if I were to meet an african american girl (I dont like refering to them as black, I dont know why, just always been like that)..anyways, and if I were to first assume they were the same culture as me. When I do find out that they are not, would I all of a sudden stop talking to them and take a complete u-turn? I dont think so! Why? I have more self respect, self morals, class, dignity. Furthermore, because I look beneath race and skin colour. Many people use race and/or skin colour as a label in life, but I dont. What is it gonna get you in life? Where is it gonna take you in life with a narrow minded attitude and way of thinking like that? I dont care if the person is brown, yellow, white, turqoise or aqua or has 3rd degree burns all over their body, it wouldnt affect my way of thinking towards them whatsoever.

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Definitions of Racism on the Web:

* Any attitude, action or institutional structure which systematically treats an individual or group of individuals differently because of their race. The most common form of racism in North America is in the form discrimination against African-Americans.
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This is exactly the case. Sure preferences play a part in it, but it all branches out from a racist point of view.

If anything, my parents are the exact same as hers, just not to the extreme extent of it all. They would definitely prefer for me to marry someone of the same race. Sure, I may be most attracted to a certain race(s), but that does not mean I will look down on other races. Do my parents force me to think like them? Hell no, because I have enough control in my life to just live life how you choose to. You only live once, and I just couldnt imagine living with such limitations in life. That is what bothers me the most in todays society, how people can just judge others of different races to be "different."

For instance, personally, over the years I have never been all that attracted all that much to african american girls, but from having an open mind and personality, what do you know...I have dated two, and made many good friends out of it. The same goes when it comes to women's point of view on this issue, they will respect a man much much more who does not live with these restrictions, who will love an individual for who they are inside, no matter what origin they are from.

I just cant imagine anyone, dating or even wanting to know, bond on an ongoing basis with someone like this. It will draw nothing but conflicts between the two of you. If they see, having friendships with people outside of their race as "paranormal", then how will they accept your friends of other cultures? It's just all so negative.

[I_H8_Crawford]

Get over it, I mean who gives a fata - did you actually ever meet this girl? or was it all over the net? Are you sure it's a girl? And if so, how do you KNOW she's not a fatty - maybe she's doing you a favour by not dating you, and is sparing you a $500 tab at the restaurant when just 10 entrees won't fill her up.

[I_H8_Crawford]

One other question - I'm white, and I'll only date Asians because they're far better looking... am I racist against my own race?

[DJRice]

Originally posted by JiriHrdina+Sep 7 2005, 11:22 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (JiriHrdina @ Sep 7 2005, 11:22 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

I think so.

When you make a decision based on a person's race, that is, by definition, racism.

At least, that's how I feel.

I understand what you are saying but again I ask the question. How is it different from someone only being attracted to blonde girls? Or tall guys? Or redheads? Its all part of the physical attributes that form a great deal of the basis for attraction. Shallow? Yes. Racist? Not sure. [/b][/quote]
Well, sure I have my preferences, and I prefer dark hair, smaller girls...but does that mean I wont even give the light of day to even look or say hi to a say a blonde who stands 5'10 and bit overweight? No, because I look past the physical attributes. I treat everyone else, like how I want to be treated. I dont like to be judged or stereotyped, therefore I dont do it to others - especially people you dont even know! I guess Im just very accepting of people for the way they are - just how I was brought up.


It's just like saying, when people ask why you always see the typical "beauty and the beast." Pretty girl, not as attractive male. I think it is such a stupid judgement for everyone to even make. Why give them more unneccessary attention in public that they need? What makes them so different from the rest? In this situation, the girl obviously sees much more in their man to they way they look, and I highly respect a girl for that. However, its getting harder and harder to find a girl like this nowadays, when everything in the media, is "sex" related, magazines, commercials, advertising, shows, etc.

[JiriHrdina]

Originally posted by DJRice+Sep 8 2005, 12:45 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (DJRice @ Sep 8 2005, 12:45 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

I understand what you are saying but again I ask the question. How is it different from someone only being attracted to blonde girls? Or tall guys? Or redheads? Its all part of the physical attributes that form a great deal of the basis for attraction. Shallow? Yes. Racist? Not sure.

Well, sure I have my preferences, and I prefer dark hair, smaller girls...but does that mean I wont even give the light of day to even look or say hi to a say a blonde who stands 5'10 and bit overweight? No, because I look past the physical attributes. I treat everyone else, like how I want to be treated. I dont like to be judged or stereotyped, therefore I dont do it to others - especially people you dont even know! I guess Im just very accepting of people for the way they are - just how I was brought up.


[/b][/quote]
Well bully for you.

If a girl if a bit overweight you will talk to her? Well that's just swell! What if she's a lot overweight? Does that change things? Where is the line drawn?

If you are indeed such an open minded dude then why on earth would you want anything to do with a girl who is so much shallower than you?

[Flames_Gimp]

I could tell you some story's 'bout bein "shot down" due to physical attributes....but, if I learned anything from the bullshinguard, if someone can't accept you as a person, they aren't even worth a post on a forum.

[habernac]

anyone who wants to limit themselves that way, oh well, their loss I suppose. Move on......

[Cheese]

wow...Im glad I aint in the dating game anymore! I wouldnt have wasted 5 secs on any chick who mentioned those words to me...."IGNORE".

[Cowperson]

Originally posted by habernac@Sep 8 2005, 07:18 AM
anyone who wants to limit themselves that way, oh well, their loss I suppose. Move on......

If he were the Brad Pitt of his race and hung like Dirk Diggler, she might have thrown her qualifications out the window.

You gotta get prettier Bub!!

Like someone else said, I'm not sure if this is any different than that Marilyn Monroe movie: "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes."

If she wants to date Arabic men, that's her right . . . . . and her loss.

My two cents

Cowperson

[jonesy]

it would have been interesting to have this story come out as:
1. I met a girl on internet
2. We got along, things were great
3. She sent a picture
4. I told her to beat it because she was black

Then see how bad you would get piled on.
I see it as racist. She is making a decision based soley on race, isn't that the definition of racist?

[HelloHockeyFans]

Originally posted by jonesy@Sep 8 2005, 03:35 PM
I see it as racist. She is making a decision based soley on race, isn't that the definition of racist?

Exactly!

It's correct when people argue that she's making a decision based on her preference, but it's completely incorrect in my opinion, when people try to argue that her preference to not date specific races is not necessarily racist.

[JiriHrdina]

Originally posted by jonesy@Sep 8 2005, 09:35 AM
it would have been interesting to have this story come out as:
1. I met a girl on internet
2. We got along, things were great
3. She sent a picture
4. I told her to beat it because she was black

Then see how bad you would get piled on.
I see it as racist. She is making a decision based soley on race, isn't that the definition of racist?

OK...what about...

1. I met a girl on internet
2. We got along, things were great
3. She sent a picture
4. I told her to beat it because she was fat

Is this equally as bad? Same thing or different?

[jonesy]

Originally posted by JiriHrdina+Sep 8 2005, 04:06 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (JiriHrdina @ Sep 8 2005, 04:06 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-jonesy@Sep 8 2005, 09:35 AM
it would have been blah....

OK...what about...

1. I met a girl on internet
2. We got along, things were great
3. She sent a picture
4. I told her to beat it because she was fat

Is this equally as bad? Same thing or different? [/b][/quote]
different, for the most part fatness is something change, it is a result of your lifestyle.

race is not changeable (michael jackson seems to have been trying to change his race and look what happened)

anyways, the definition of racist is making decisions soley based on race. This is cut and dried racist as far as i am concerned. You can argue whether it is 'ok' racism or 'not so bad' or 'because Mr. Rice is a scaredy cat' but it IS racism.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Originally posted by JiriHrdina+Sep 8 2005, 04:06 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (JiriHrdina @ Sep 8 2005, 04:06 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-jonesy@Sep 8 2005, 09:35 AM
it would have been interesting to have this story come out as:
1. I met a girl on internet
2. We got along, things were great
3. She sent a picture
4. I told her to beat it because she was black

Then see how bad you would get piled on.
I see it as racist. She is making a decision based soley on race, isn't that the definition of racist?

OK...what about...

1. I met a girl on internet
2. We got along, things were great
3. She sent a picture
4. I told her to beat it because she was fat

Is this equally as bad? Same thing or different? [/b][/quote]
In jonesy's example, the person is discriminating based on race.

In your example, Jiri, the person is discriminating based on weight.

Both are preferences. One based on race. The other based on weight.

[Flashpoint]

Originally posted by HelloHockeyFans@Sep 8 2005, 11:18 AM
In jonesy's example, the person is discriminating based on race.

In your example, Jiri, the person is discriminating based on weight.

Both are preferences. One based on race. The other based on weight.

DAMNIT!

I think I'm a fatist.

Crap.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Originally posted by Flashpoint@Sep 8 2005, 04:42 PM
I think I'm a fatist.

The birth of a new CP word: fataist!

[I_H8_Crawford]

Originally posted by Flashpoint+Sep 8 2005, 10:42 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Flashpoint @ Sep 8 2005, 10:42 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-HelloHockeyFans@Sep 8 2005, 11:18 AM
In jonesy's example, the person is discriminating based on race.

In your example, Jiri, the person is discriminating based on weight.

Both are preferences. One based on race. The other based on weight.

DAMNIT!

I think I'm a fatist.

Crap. [/b][/quote]

Awesome word use!

[Winsor_Pilates]

Originally posted by HelloHockeyFans+Sep 8 2005, 09:51 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (HelloHockeyFans @ Sep 8 2005, 09:51 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Flashpoint@Sep 8 2005, 04:42 PM
I think I'm a fatist.

The birth of a new CP word: fataist! [/b][/quote]
fatist or fataist?

BIG difference

[Thunderball]

I think if you just don't find fat people or people who aren't your ethnicity attractive, its not racist.

However, if you find them attractive and refuse them because of race, without provocation (ie: they're intolerant to you) that is racist.