How old before your kids can walk to school alone?

[CliffFletcher]

There's no doubt parents in general are far more anxious and controlling about their kids than they were in the past. The thing is, even if you recognize that, it can be difficult to defy social norms. We started letting our kids go alone to the playground in the nearby schoolyard last summer, when they had just turned 8. Every time they came back they said an adult asked them where their parents were.

We've started letting our kids walk alone to houses of nearby friends to see if they want to play. But I've had friends who've done the same at this age tell me parents have escorted their kids back home afterwards, and made some judgemental comment.

Everyone has their own approach to raising kids these days, so as a parent you can't make any assumptions. Raising kids the way we were raised - with the freedom to roam around and play unsupervised - is definitely not the norm. If you even just advocate for letting kids play, remark to another parent how safe it really is, it can be taken as a judgement of the other parents' approach. People get very tetchy about this stuff.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

HA, I feel like you listened to my phone call with my wife today, when I told her I had the kids walk to school in the rain.

This sounds very familiar. The kids won't shrink in the rain. They'll probably have fun playing in it.

[Ashartus]

I walked 1 km each way by myself when I was 5, including crossing a relatively busy street. I think my mom used to follow me discretely for the first few weeks. But at my kids' before school care I get in trouble if I don't physically bring them inside and make sure the workers know they are there, apparently they can't be unsupervised for even a moment until grade 3.

I think legally they're supposed to be something like 10 before you leave them home alone for extended periods of time. Regarding that article about kids playing alone in the backyard in Winnipeg, I think that's insane, my 5 year old has played outside by herself lots of times and if she's lucky I'll look out the window every now and then. But I suspect if Child Services knew half the things I let my kids do they'd be knocking on my door, and they're way more supervised than I ever was.

[Leeman4Gilmour]

Originally Posted by driveway

I'm not a parent so maybe that is why this is a thing I don't really understand. Every single metric, statistic, and study says a place like Calgary, or pretty much anywhere in the 1st world, is safer and less dangerous now than it's ever been, yet EVERYONE is so much more concerned about the potential of bad things happening (even me).

Like, why did your wife need them to have a cell phone? What is the issue that could arise that having a cell phone would solve? Or make better? I mean, I would probably feel better too, but it's really so irrational.

Is it TV? Movies? Is it that cell phones exist now, so not having the ability to be in contact seems so much scarier? Is it Amber Alerts and Nancy Grace?

Why, despite the vastly safer life kids lead today, are so many people so much more worried about them?

I often wonder about this too, but, could it be that it's safer because parents are so much more protective nowadays?

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by Leeman4Gilmour

I often wonder about this too, but, could it be that it's safer because parents are so much more protective nowadays?

I'm sure there are fewer kids spraining their wrists from bike wipe-outs, or going to the hospital with stitches from stepping on broken glass in a creek. But the tradeoff is more obesity, more diabetes, and more anxiety and depression from children who lack the outlet of independent play. Not to mention diminished self-reliance and resilience because they haven't learned to deal with small problems on their own. Then there's nature deficit. Lots of ways a fixation on safety can be less healthy in the long run.

[Finger Cookin]

Everyone's more concerned because the media keeps everyone scared so they keep buying things.

[Jordan!]

I'm always amazed seeing like 20 parents waiting for their kids at bus stops these days.. Thought maybe it was an American thing. I was 4 or 5 walking to school alone in Calgary.

edit: Saying that, I'm sure i'll be joining those 20 parents when I have kids.

[Lubicon]

Ours were never within walking range to school so we've always driven them until this year (high school) - now they take transit most days which is fantastic. School bus was a 50 minute ride each way so we elected to drive them (10 minutes). I'm not sure what age I would have been comfortable with them walking if it was possible but they didn't stay home alone until they were probably 12-13.

I walked/rode my bike every day from grade one on but it was different in a small town, however grade one was in Edmonton and my parents still let me walk.

[gasman]

Originally Posted by Ashartus

I walked 1 km each way by myself when I was 5, including crossing a relatively busy street. I think my mom used to follow me discretely for the first few weeks. But at my kids' before school care I get in trouble if I don't physically bring them inside and make sure the workers know they are there, apparently they can't be unsupervised for even a moment until grade 3.

I think legally they're supposed to be something like 10 before you leave them home alone for extended periods of time. Regarding that article about kids playing alone in the backyard in Winnipeg, I think that's insane, my 5 year old has played outside by herself lots of times and if she's lucky I'll look out the window every now and then. But I suspect if Child Services knew half the things I let my kids do they'd be knocking on my door, and they're way more supervised than I ever was.

We often allow our 6year old and 4 year old play in the front yard. They have boundaries which are one house up and one house down the street, rules that they are not permitted on the road. If a toy falls on the street they need to get an adult to supervise retrieval.

We live on a crescent, traffic is minimal, but I think it is good for kids to be outside and visible to the neighbourhood, that way the people on the street get to know them and if at some point they are getting in to trouble or get hurt, the neighbourhood will know whos kids they are and if something isn't quite right about a situation (strangers in vans etc.).

I trust my kids, and believe that it is important to teach independence early. I am definitely not in the camp of bubble wrap the kids, put them on the couch to watch TV and feed them junk food until they are too fat to move.

[Russic]

My kids are 6 and 4, and I don't think I'm sure when we'll let them go alone as it depends how the old one develops over the next couple years. It's very likely by the time he's 8 we'll be convinced that he's totally capable.

The only hitch I find is on the day I signed my kid up for kindergarten about 4 kids showed up. It was a PD day, so they weren't supposed to be there. It was a bit of an issue because the secretaries couldn't send the kids back home without confirming that a parent would be there to accept them (I'm assuming that's a hard rule whether you agree or not). If there was no parent at home, then the kid had to sit there until somebody came to get them, which isn't impossible but I can see how it could be annoying.

I'm pretty militant with my calendar, but it's not crazy that a mistake happens from time to time.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

There's no doubt parents in general are far more anxious and controlling about their kids than they were in the past. The thing is, even if you recognize that, it can be difficult to defy social norms. We started letting our kids go alone to the playground in the nearby schoolyard last summer, when they had just turned 8. Every time they came back they said an adult asked them where their parents were.

We've started letting our kids walk alone to houses of nearby friends to see if they want to play. But I've had friends who've done the same at this age tell me parents have escorted their kids back home afterwards, and made some judgemental comment.

Everyone has their own approach to raising kids these days, so as a parent you can't make any assumptions. Raising kids the way we were raised - with the freedom to roam around and play unsupervised - is definitely not the norm. If you even just advocate for letting kids play, remark to another parent how safe it really is, it can be taken as a judgement of the other parents' approach. People get very tetchy about this stuff.

We have pretty broad, yet defined AO for our kids. They know they can go anywhere within that area without letting us know where they are. If they want to leave the AO, they need to let us know. Last year we let our 11 yr old and 9 yrd old go to the lake alone with their 10 yr and 9 yr old friends. Just the 4 of them. They looked after each other and looked out for each other.

This Saturday, I am taking the kids on a bike ride across town so they know how to get to their friends places on the other side of town.

Kids need to learn how to identify, assess and mitigate risk.

[tvp2003]

Thanks for the responses, including the more general discussion about todays kids being "bubble wrapped" and "hovered over" these days. I also appreciate the sentiment of those who may have walked as early as grade 1 but that we wouldn't do the same if/when it was our kid.

[Coys1882]

I'm a little late to the party but our kids are 7/10 and I drop them at the bus each morning on the way to work. However - they walk home from the bus stop, come in through the garage and then do their homework or play inside until myself or my wife get home from work (15-45 mins depending on schedule)

[Buff]

We walk our kids to the bus stop, and by we, I mean our parents who watch the kids. We leave for work before the bus picks up the kids. Our kids are 8 and 10. Two reasons why we walk them. The road we have to cross to get to the stop is horrible for pedestrian crossing. Maybe a 1/3 of the time a car will actually stop for pedestrians. The other reason is we don't want our kids alone with the other kid at that same stop. Unfortunately that other kid is our nephew.

[You Need a Thneed]

I don't remember my parents walking with me to school really other than the first day of kindergarten. I was 4 for most of my kindergarten year. I think I walked with my older brother for the first year or two. It was only 200 metres down a quiet street.

If our kids went to one of the schools in our community, they would probably walk themselves (they are 6 and almost 9). For one of the schools, the school yard is about 15 metres from our property, and the other school is about 200 meters down the quiet street. Unfortunately for the walking situation, we send our kids to a different school, which requires driving. Perhaps when the kids are older (and if they are still going to the same school), they could bike to school - it would take about 15 minutes.