Twins (or even just one kid) - Not Happy/Ruining your Family

[tvp2003]

Originally Posted by JimmytheT

I have a 3 year old boy and 10 month old triplets. Without reading any of these I know these people are whiny bitches. I have worked harder than I ever thought I would over the past 18 months (I am including my wife's triplet pregnancy here) and I can tellvyou it is worth every minute. There are times where you are exhausted and at your wits end, but at the end of it all they still bring us so much joy.

To be blunt, people who complain about a single child are pathetic losers (assuming we are dealing with a healthy normal child of course). I never understand people who resent their own children. Cat's in the Cradle I guess.

I can more than understand the stress regarding twins however, if there are two parents in the household at least there is a two parent to baby ratio. Try three infants with only 4 total arms if you want a real challenge (plus a toddler acting as the constant wild card).

Quoting for respect. Well done sir.

We have two girls, age 3 and 1. Just trying to hold on until they become 4 and 2 (when they can start playing together and talking to each other). I can't imagine having kids age 3 and 1... and 1 and 1 (we used to think having multiples would be neat, but after our first I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy).

[Muta]

Originally Posted by fotze

You selfish monster.

You know what the best response from people is, too?

"You're going to be all lonely when you're older."

Bullshart. I'm going to be friends with everybody when I'm older, and I'm still going to travel as long as I possibly can do so. You're only lonely if you don't want to strike up relationships with others. Just because I have no kids doesn't mean I have to be lonely, which I think is one of the most low-confidence, overstated opinions that are routinely believed by many people.

[SeeBass]

Well imagine that you are my brother...

cheats on his wife and knocks up the girlfriend with twins

twins are born months premature and now you are divorced with twins and a new mother who you have no relationship with and you actually hate each other.

ouch

[PsYcNeT]

Yeesh. How much do you have to dislike your spouse to think that you'll be lonely when you're older without kids?

[SeeBass]

Originally Posted by PsYcNeT

Yeesh. How much do you have to dislike your spouse to think that you'll be lonely when you're older without kids?

great point and what must you think of yourself as well

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by SeeBass

Well as a couple who never chose to have kids we will be leaving for Hawaii for the third time in 12 months tomorrow, to a hotel on the beach during off peak hours with minimal kids.

Selfish indeed.

Pfft, my 8 month old has been to 8 countries already.

But yeah, the freedom from set-schedules (and added expenses) when traveling is one of the biggest upsides of not having kids. We definitely have to plan things out in advance a lot more these days...whether they be across town or across the globe.

[TorqueDog]

Originally Posted by Nyah

I even did a Google search to try to find & read articles and blogs calling the childless selfish, and all I found were articles and blogs with the childless defending themselves. I couldn't find a single (reputable) article accusing people who choose to not have kids 'selfish'. From what I read it just seemed like a bunch of people trying to justify their choice for not having kids even though there really was no need for justification. I don't get it. Does this supposed negativity come from family, friends, coworkers, etc.?

My own mother has called me selfish, not even for closing the door on children (I haven't gone THAT far yet), but simply being non-committal in saying I will or will not have them. One time it was simply for saying "I don't want them yet". I just turned it right around and said it's pretty selfish to want someone else to go through a major life event just so you can have grandkids.

If you want kids, great. If you don't want them, that's also great. But having kids when you don't want them is stupid. Having kids and realizing it was not up to par with what you'd been sold on, that's reality and there is nothing wrong with being able to recognize that parenting isn't all dressing your kid up and Kodak moments as it looks to some naïve childless folk.

In the context of the article, I wouldn't say it's selfish that you went in wanting one kid and were disappointed / regretted that you ended up with two. It's a lot of work, and a lot of money. You had planned and budgeted (as responsible parents-to-be would) for one child, now that's turned on its head. This isn't like leaving the pet store with two hamsters when you only went in wanting one, there's wee bit more at stake here.

Parents are still people who have their own desires, goals, dreams, etc. I don't think it's selfish to want to accomplish other things aside from just being someone's mom or dad, or to be able to live a certain way (so long as living said way doesn't negatively impact the child). And if the above may negatively impact having and caring for a child, then you shouldn't have them. That's not being selfish, that's being responsible.

[Nyah]

Originally Posted by The Goon

I felt this cover really rubbed salt in the wound.

I receive Time every couple of weeks as I'm subscribed to them, and when I received this copy I was really looking forward to reading it because I do feel my life isn't chaotic at all.

Ironically (no joke), my psychoticly destructive cat tipped a full glass of water over right onto the magazine then proceeded to tear it to shreds, so I never got to read about the 'stress free' lifestyle I'm enjoying.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by fotze

You will never know the joy of a Hawaiian hospital.

Haha, this reminds me of the time when my family went to Hawaii and we went to a non-Honolulu beach for the first time. It was pretty wavy but there were plenty of people swimming. Mom and dad go in the water....mom slips on rocks and hits her head hard enough that its bleeding. Brother goes in the water...mom tells dad to go with him to be safe. Brother slips and falls and gets a big gash in his leg. Dad then proceeds to slip and dislocate his shoulder. All within about 5 minutes. Had a nice visit to the Hawaiian hospital that day, ha.

[SeeBass]

^don't worry about sleeping in, nobody does.

Combination of jet lag, warm days, prevailing warm steady winds and activity it truly is the most incredible time of the day.

trust me you will not sleep in every body is in bed by 9:30 and up at dawn

[polak]

Being in bed by 9:30 sounds exactly like one of the consequences of having kids and nothing else.

[Nyah]

Originally Posted by polak

Being in bed by 9:30 sounds exactly like one of the consequences of having kids and nothing else.

Or having to get out of bed prior to 7:00 in the morning.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by polak

Being in bed by 9:30 sounds exactly like one of the consequences of having kids and nothing else.

I'm not in bed by 930 (still do that around midnight), but for me it was a great excuse to not have to go out of the house when Im not up for it. Even before our daughter, if I was not out by 9pm, good luck getting me out. Now I have a built-in excuse!

You'll get past the "out all night" part of your life too at some point, it's just a matter of time.

[The Goon]

To be honest, I used to go to bed and wake up earlier before having a kid. Always did 5:00am workouts.

Now my workout is chasing a three-year-old naked boy back and forth across the floor every night while holding a pair of underwear with Lightning McQueen on them.

[Ozy_Flame]

Originally Posted by The Goon

Now my workout is chasing a three-year-old naked boy back and forth across the floor every night while holding a pair of underwear with Lightning McQueen on them.

. . . While simultaneously thinking about how to deal with the pair on the floor that contains a mountain of kid #### in it.

[ernie]

Things I likely never would have experienced without kids:

-the pediatric hospital emergency room in Koln
-a kid puking up cheese fondue all over the inside of a Mercedes cab...also Koln
-having the most understanding cab driver I've ever met who wouldn't even take the very substantial tip i was trying to give him to get his car cleaned
-various other trips to the doctor and of course
-crap everywhere.

On the other hand I also wouldn't experience so many other wonderful things. Even the simple joy of reading a bedtime story every night. Everyones choice of course to do what they like but knowing what I know now I wouldn't trade parenthood for anything.

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by Muta

I have decided to not have kids, and I have prepared myself to accept the incoming flak from relatives. I can't even consistently make my lunch, let alone having mini-terrorists ruining my daily routine. If that's selfish, so be it. Atleast I'm honest about it.

Plus, I cannot contribute to the overpopulation of the Earth. It's too high as it is.

I'm with you man. My wife and I are Child-free not Childless. We chose our lifestyle. We are not without children reluctantly. We had to deflect a bunch of criticism from people because we don't want kids.

When people told me that I was selfish because I didn't want kids my reply was "Which is worse: Being selfish and not having kids or being selfish, having kids, resenting them and turning them into messed up adults as a result of that?" That was usually followed by me telling them to pound sand and mind their own business.

[polak]

I don't see how anyone could say not having kids it selfish? Who are you slighting?

The life that literally doesn't exist yet?

[GoinAllTheWay]

Originally Posted by polak

I don't see how anyone could say not having kids it selfish? Who are you slighting?

That's exaclty it.

My question back to someone who asked me that question would be what un-selfish reasons did you have for having children?

If you thought it through and arrived at the desicion that you wanted to have kids, awesome, more power to you. Do so and be the best parent you can possibly be.

It's the ones that just bang em out without thought that bugs me. The choice to bring a life into the world should be VERY carefully considered. It shouldn't be done simply because it's expected of you or it's what people do. THAT'S being selfish IMO.

[Northendzone]

you guys are selfish for not spreading your seed out there.....go to poland, find woman with a few miles on the odometer, get her in the family way, selfishness over!!!!

assuming the author used his real name, or the smae name he regularly writes under - i wonder how his kids will feel when they find the article?