Two men camping in the mountains have spent four days together, and they're getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."
The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north. That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal-clear mountain lake. As I sat and dried out, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies, and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"
The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks and we had sex in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."
"Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine! Did you get a blow job, too?"
"Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to bossy22 For This Useful Post:
This law is stupid. It doesn't take into account regional climate differences and seasonal temperature variation. You really can't tell if you're still good to give the corpse a good rogering without a meat thermometer.
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Bill Bumface For This Useful Post:
That is just wrong. Very, very wrong. I'll admit that I don't know much about the Islamic religion but, why would anyone want to have sex with a dead person and why on earth would a government pass a law allowing it. That is seriously disturbing.
One thing I miss
Is cold Ethyl and her skeleton kiss.
We met last night
Making love by the refrigerator light.
Ethyl, Ethyl,
Let me squeeze you in my arms.
Ethyl, Ethyl,
Come and freeze me with your charms.
One thing, no lie -
Ethyl's frigid as an Eskimo pie.
She's cool in bed,
She's gotta be 'cuz Ethyl's dead.
(Repeat 2nd verse)
Come on, cold Ethyl, freeze me baby.
One thing - it's true,
Cold Ethyl I am stuck on you,
And everything is my way,
Ethyl don't have much to say.
(Repeat 2nd verse)
Come here, cold Ethyl
What makes you so cold ?...OO..So cold
Cold Ethyl, cold, cold Ethyl
If I live 'til 97,
You'll still be waiting
In refrigerator heaven,
Cuz you're cool, you're ice.
Cold Ethyl - you're my paradise.
Alice Cooper
The Following User Says Thank You to MolsonInBothHands For This Useful Post:
One thing I miss
Is cold Ethyl and her skeleton kiss.
We met last night
Making love by the refrigerator light.
Ethyl, Ethyl,
Let me squeeze you in my arms.
Ethyl, Ethyl,
Come and freeze me with your charms.
One thing, no lie -
Ethyl's frigid as an Eskimo pie.
She's cool in bed,
She's gotta be 'cuz Ethyl's dead.
(Repeat 2nd verse)
Come on, cold Ethyl, freeze me baby.
One thing - it's true,
Cold Ethyl I am stuck on you,
And everything is my way,
Ethyl don't have much to say.
(Repeat 2nd verse)
Come here, cold Ethyl
What makes you so cold ?...OO..So cold
Cold Ethyl, cold, cold Ethyl
If I live 'til 97,
You'll still be waiting
In refrigerator heaven,
Cuz you're cool, you're ice.
Cold Ethyl - you're my paradise.
Alice Cooper
I see you and raise you this other Alice classic:
I love the dead before they're cold
Their bluing flesh for me to hold
Cadaver eyes upon me see nothing
I love the dead before they rise
No farewells, no goodbyes
I never even knew your now-rotting face
While friends and lovers mourn your silly grave
I have other uses for you, darling...
I love the dead
__________________
"If Javex is your muse…then dive in buddy"
- Surferguy
The Following User Says Thank You to Puppet Guy For This Useful Post:
I'm not talking about my own posts, but there is some serious lack of thanks on this thread. Haven't busted a gut like this in ages. So after this I'm going to burn out my thanks.
The Following User Says Thank You to freedogger For This Useful Post:
dead women are going to put out more than my fiance.
