Pet peeves in helping someone with their computer

[ricosuave]

oh, and for all the calgary posters...

calgary public library offers free computer training for seniors - they just simply have to sign up.

im signing my mom up next week - check you their web site for more details...

rico

[ricosuave]

and like molson said - remote desktop is a good thing. set it up, and a lot of your worries will go away.

[Tron_fdc]

hahahaha

This is sooo funny to read.

I work in sales, but because I took the time to figure out how hardware/software works, and spent $150 on a computer course 8 years ago suddenly I've become the office IT guy. Like I don't have enough problems dealing with irate customers, but now it's up to me to figure out why our satellite internet system doesn't work, or figure out why the LAN went down.

I've found the President and Vice Prez of our company are 2 of the biggest ######S when it comes to computers....I get called into their offices all the time when their mouse doesn't work (plugged it in) or the printer won't work properly (plugged it in as well). The printer was classic, I hit the power button and it spat out 8 thousand copies of the same document (apparently hitting the print icon 8 million times will magically make it start). The old dot matrix printers were great when people did this, because you couldn't cancel it.

Anyone else in here the resident fax/copy machine professional? I recently added "Electronic Thermostat installer/operator" to my title as well......

[calf]

Ahhh, this is hilarious.

When showing my dad how to do something, and it requires him to type, basically he 'hunts and pecks' and takes 3 times as long to type something as it should.

I'm also a pretty fast reader, so if I'm doing something for him and press an 'OK' button really quickly, he gets upset that he didn't have time to read it and make sure it's what I should have clicked.

And BBS's showing someone how to do something every single time...oh man do I hate that...

[InTheSlot]

Oh God, I'm gonna have a field day with this:


Getting the most from your I.T. department
------------------------------------------


1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it
buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals,
dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have
a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse
of yours.

2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages
from here.

3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That
way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to
remember 300 screen saver passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping
you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail
because your computer won't power on at all.

6. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it
at once. We're just testing.

7. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and
spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

8. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and
flags it as a rush delivery.

9. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's
electronics in it.

10. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer
support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

11. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call
computer support. We're collectors.

12. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T.
person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of
the problem. We love a puzzle.

13. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have
cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

14. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in
a scathing tone of voice : "And just how many weeks do you mean by
shortly?". That motivates us.

15. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times.
Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

16. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to
all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

17. Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly
what you mean by "my thingy blew up".

18. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

19. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your
dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were
designed to have 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.

20. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail
upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin
crumbs and nail clippings in them.

21. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that Yes
button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't
be doing it, would you ?

22. When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit
uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up.
We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

23. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about
that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of
professional expertise referred to as crap.

24. When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call
I.T. support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task,
and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a
professional engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

25. When you can't find someone in the government directory, call
I.T. Support.

26. When you have a lock to pick on an old file cabinet, call I.T.
Support. We love to hack.

27. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your
secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to
deal with a third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.

28. When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone
as a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.

29. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller
chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the
queue.

30. When an I.T. person gets on the elevator pushing $100,000 worth
of computer equipment on a cart, ask in a very loud voice: "Good grief,
you take the elevator to go DOWN one floor?!?" That's another one that
cracks us up no end.

31. When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company.
People out in Birmingham like to keep abreast of what's going on.

32. When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a
Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.

33. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your
own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.

34. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the
office, leave the documentation at home. We'll find all the settings
and drivers somewhere.


35. In no way do we believe that end-users are ungrateful. It hurts our
feelings that one could even think such a thing on the basis of the
above statements. In truth we wish to express our deepest gratitude
to the hundreds of wonderful end-users portrayed herein, without whom
none of this would have been remotely possible.

We truly love you, end-users, you spice up our lives no end.

[ricosuave]

LOL well said!

[Hack&Lube]

I worked in a CIBC office in Bankers Hall last summer doing some filing.

Every person there typed with only their index fingers. And then some managers complained about eyestrain and headaches, I had to go set their refresh rate from something gross like 60Hz.

[Ironhorse]

Ah yes, parental tech support. Since I'm a tech manager by day, I must enjoy doing it in my spare time too...

My life turned a much needed corner once I convinced my Dad to upgrade to XP. Remote desktop is my friend now.

I just wish he'd write down when I show him to do something. And he knows enough to be dangerous. His favorite trick is to resize his original digital photos by accident, or to delete the pictures off his camera before actually transferring them to a folder on his computer. But I can't complain too much, because all that nice tile & slate that he installed in my house looks reeeal nice.

(And I HATE people who feel an irresistable urge to poke at my panel monitors. :angry

[Super-Rye]

Well, when my parents need help with the computer, they tend to think I'm a computer genius, which, in actual fact I am far from. Things that annoy me are (in no particular order.):

Playing/stopping music - They have yet to realize the symbol for play and stop are the same on almost everything.

Email not opening - I donno how I'm supposed to help with this...

Errors - Everytime an error pops up they ask me 'Rye, what's is error 1928972397gb?' when I don't know, then tend to say I deleted something!

And when they require help that causes me to go on the internet and look, and I start scrolling down the page, getting the gist of it, they asking why I don't read everything and scroll slower...like I wanna be infront of the compter helping them for 2 hours.

[BlackArcher101]

I generally hate it when the person coming to me for help starts to think they know more about how computers work than I do. Or how the internet works.

For instance... my e-mail server was down one day so I couldn't retrieve my mail, and I told my dad this. He started saying he was having the same problem, that he couldn't open a message someone sent him. Found out he was talking about opening an attachment and that he did get the message. Outlook blocks attachments by default, so I changed this. He wasn't having a problem with the server.
Since I told him I couldn't retrieve my e-mails, he thought all the ones he sent me were lost and he sent 5 copies of them. He figures that if he doesn't get a reply, the mail is lost out in cyberspace somewhere and resends.

Another thing I noticed my dad do. When he wants to shutdown the computer and has been surfing the net for a while, he will click the back button repeatedly until he arrives at the home page again. Then he closes the browser window. No matter how much I tell him he can just close it without going back to the start page, he will still do it. And he double clicks links on the internet... argh!

Or having someone come to you saying their computer doesn't want to do anything anymore. So you go to their house and look at it only to find so many viruses and spyware that the OS isn't salvageable and you need to format. You also note a few adult site folders in the start menu. Two months later, you get the same call, and find yet again adult site folders and links and menu bars all over the place. You format and tell them to stop surfing these sites and stop clicking any imitation windows message ad that pops up. It's a neverending process really.

Another peeve... Had to help my roomie recently with finding a file she saved and to print it. Here's the funny part... it was her resume and on it she said "Proficient with Microsoft Word and Windows". Ummmmm.... no. Why do people think they are proficient because they took a single class in school?

And for the love of God, when scanning a small photo, please clip it from that white space you also scanned with it and compress it. I don't want a 8.5 x 11 image file that has a 2 x 3 image in it, that is 20mb in my e-mail.

[shoestring]

I am sure you guys all know.I never did. cost me a bundle

When you first go to your parents place or anybodies that isn't at work.
Shut down Ports 137 thru 139. Microsoft file sharing ports. No need ,No use,
for anybody to have these open. I will look for link if anybody would like the details. discombubulate.com I think
and I use about four other free links that keep me at least virus free.Easily!

Great post though ,now if you just explain what you mean when you say.............................................

Set up a parent post then I will will know where to go.

[Buff]

Somebody brings in their new computer and their old computer and they want us to transfer all the data from their old computer to their new computer. When that is done they want the old computer wiped clean and Windows 98 put back on it. (They were using 2KPro and the computer shouldn't have been able to handle it) Upon being asked they say everything they want is all in their "My Documents" folder. Ok, sounds easy.

They don't tell you that they want data from programs such as accounting programs and others, or the programs transfered over, not to mention they don't provide the disks to install the programs on the new computer. The old computer is already wiped clean and 98 is installed and they can't figure out why the old data can't be retrieved.


I had to backup another persons data to wipe their HDD clean and reinstall Windows... they specified that the only thing they want backed up is a folder called "Misc". Anything else doesn't matter. Well I got their word docs, spreadsheets and client info backed up. Stuff that they didn't care about losing (I later asked and they didn't have all that stuff backed up). Non of this stuff was in the Misc folder. What was in it? pR0n. They were more interested in saving their pR0n than the files crucial to their business!


You agree to fix a family members computer and do some extra stuff on the computer for them. You tell them that it will take 2-3 hours. They bring it to your house and 1/2 hour later they're saying "How much longer? Geez if I would've known it was going to takethis long I would've left it here!"... uh, Slappy, I told you how long it will take!


While still in school I played a good prank in one of the labs. In this lab the computers were linedup down two rows. Each row had 10 computers on each side (so 20 computers) I took the mice and keyboards from the 10 computers on one side and phyically swapped them with the mice and keyboards on the other side. I just didn't unplug them from the computers. It took the proctor about 1.5 hrs to figure out what happened!

[Maritime Q-Scout]

oh guys, I needed this thread like you wouldn't believe. About to go to bed and I think "haven't been to the off-topic board in a while let's see what's up"

my week's been insane (still going to be) and this was the tension break I needed.

I used to work at Radio Shack... simple things like "click start the green button in the bottom left hand corner, now go up to ...." would amaze customers I had one person say "can you see my screen?"

Can I see your screen? How much of a moron are you?

I usually just sent them elsewhere, I don't have the training, expertise, or mental will to help some of these moronic people.

I once sold a computer to a lady, she asked if I'd set it up for her. I so didn't want to, but told her how to do it, showed her in the store. This is how hard brand name computers are to hook up. Ok, take the cable with the blue end, and plug it into the blue slot in the back of the computer, now take the green end and plug it into the green slot, now take the purple end and plug it into the purple slot. To which I got a "wow that's easy". STILL asked if I'd hook it up. To which I replied "ok if you can't get it, call me and I'll see what I can do." Later that night I get a call, so the next day I go to hook it up, thinking what did they do?

You know what they didn't do?


TAKE THE COMPUTER OUT OF THE FREAKIN' BOX!!!



This gives me an idea for a new thread....

[Mike F]

The only person I have to help on occasion is my grandpa, and the biggest thing that drives me nuts is that he can never accurately describe what he needs.

He's got his own terms for everything and assumes that I'll know what they mean and can translate my instructions into them.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Grandparents, the elderly I can teach anything, it's middle aged adults that have heads like rocks (when they want to)

I can teach my grandmother how to use ANYTHING.

Whey the satellite installer hooked up my grandmother's dish for her, he gave her a tutorial on how to use it, I just stood back and watched. Funniest thing ever seeing a middle aged man have the veign on his forehead come out and hold EVERYTHING back not to yell at a little old innocent lady. He looked at me and said "is this really a good idea?"

I said, "I'll teach her no worries." He shook his head and said to me (after my grandmother left the room) "good luck!" That night she was surfing the on screen guide and watching the Game Show Network.

Think my dad could figure out how to use the switchbox we used to have to go between the satellite, VCR, DVD, and PS2? Nope.


My mother got my grandmother a new microwave, and spend 5 hours trying to teach her how to use it. Came back into our house (my grandmother lives next door to my parents) fuming, fustrated, she couldn't get her to understand.

I said "betcha I can do it" she rolled her eyes at me and said "be my guest"

I go over to visit my grandmother

Granny: Beverley got me a new oven, but I can't get it to work... I think she's mad at me

Me: No she's not mad, let's have a look and see how it works.

Ok it's fairly simple, you hit the "clear" button, then press the "power" button, then the time you want the food to be in for, and then "start"

Here I'll show you (I show her) got it?

Granny: nope, I dunno, I don't understand those things

(I stop and think, and see a present wrapped with a ribbon on the counter)

Me: Nanny do you have any more ribbon, and in different colours?

Granny: Yep (gets the ribbon, sissors and tape)

I cut a piece of yellow ribbon, tape it over "clear" then red over "power" and a pink piece over "start"

I took an index card and wrote on it

PRESS YELLOW
THEN RED
ENTER TIME
PRESS PINK

then taped it to the microwave door

Me: Ok press yellow, then red, enter the time you want, then press pink. Can you do that?

Granny: Yep (she does it several times)

Me: ok, I"ve got to head back over, I'll see you in a bit

Granny: ok, thanks for getting my machine to work

Me: no problem at all

(get home)

Mom: Gave up that quick eh?

Me: No, she's got it

Mom: WHAT?!?!?!?!

Me: Yeah

Mom: You're kidding me, I don't believe you

Me: So see for yourself

we go over

Granny: look what Jonathan showed me how to do

The look on my mother face was priceless.



Now if I could only teach my mother how to use computer applications in the same way

[arsenal]

I used to work as a tech. Hated it. I hate technical support. The majority of end-users have no idea how to use a computer.

Anyway, this is an awsome site for stories and such about everything. There are even a few techies that are worse off than the end users.

http://rinkworks.com/stupid/

Enjoy.

Its where I got my sig.

[MarchHare]

I work in IT support for a technology institution in Southern Alberta (yeah, you know which one I mean...).

We have an online help request system where users can file problem reports that are then emailed to the tech support group. Naturally, this is too efficient, and our users just HATE this. They much prefer to call our phone lines (interrupting whatever other priority item we may be working on at the time) or walking into our tech area unannounced (ibid). Everyone thinks that they're a unique special snowflake who is worthy of your attention NOW, and naturally any other problem you may be working on is of lesser priority than their particular issue.

When they do bother to file a problem report, more often then not they describe the issue in the most vague terms, or don't describe the problem accurately -- saying, "I can't get my email" to an IT person makes us think there's a problem with your network connection, your mail settings, or the mail server. If the *real* problem is that your mouse doesn't work, and thus you're unable to check your email, tell us that your mouse doesn't work.

Yesterday I received the following problem report. I present it here, in its full, complete, and unedited form:

I was on the net it froze then I restart, still not worky. t hen restarted again. no net on server

I'm reminded of the Strong Bad email -- "You're not Ali. You're not even...literate."

If you can figure out what that user was talking about, you're a better man than me. When I went to investigate, it turned out that the network cable wasn't plugged in, and both the keyboard and mouse were broken. I surmised that the cable came unplugged, the neanderthal of a user became annoyed because she was unable to access the web, and then banged her mouse and keyboard on her desk in frustration, breaking both of them.

Oh, we also love it when you ask us questions about your home PC, or better yet, when you drop it on our desk and expect us to fix it. Do you give the accounting department your T4 and have them to do your taxes for you for free? Even better than that is to leave your son's broken Xbox on my desk without a note, even though I told you yesterday that the problem is a defective DVD drive and you have to get Microsoft to replace it and there's nothing I can do (true story that happened to me last month).

Ugh...I could go on and on.

[Edit]
OK, one more.

Two months ago I received the following problem report: "Receiving error message that says to please restart your computer. Require help ASAP!" Anyone have a guess as to what my highly complex and technical solution to his problem was?

[Buff]

One of my college instructors told me this story. One of the staff members asked my teacher if he could take a look at his laptop. My instructor said he would. When asked what the problem was he was told that the guys kids were playing video games and knocked their drink over and it spilled on the laptop. The instructor thought, it probably can't be fixed but what they heck, he'll look at it anyway.

He got the laptop, opened it up, and there was still rivers and rivers of water in the laptop. There was no way that a drink was spilled on the computer. So he called the guy up and said "Look you have to level with me, I know that there was no way a drink was spilled on the computer, there was way too much water in there"

The guy confessed. He just got his brand new laptop and left it on the desk downloading something and went outside to do some yardwork. He was watering the flowers and bent down to pick something off the ground. In his attempts to keep the hose aimed at the garden, while still picking the object off the ground and not keeping his eye on where the hose was really aimed. The water went straight into an open window and directly onto the laptop!



My instructor was also joking one day about the proper way to cleen a keyboard. He said, just put it in the dishwasher! One of the students couldn't detect sarcasm or humor and tried it when he got home.... you can guess the results. The bad thing was, this was an IT student!

[ricosuave]

ive heard how you can use the shower to rinse the keyboard, but to use centrifugal force several times to flush the water out, and to let it dry for a few days.

dishwasher though? wow...

and just wanted to add how frustrating it is when you do help someone out, and give them the answer to solve their problem, only to have to argue about how that soultion - costs money -is too time consuming -is too hard for person -sounds more difficult than it really is to a techno-dweeb like the person -etc, etc, etc.

great thread also.

rico