My wife is having a C-Section...tips?

[bc-chris]

i was telling my wife about this thread and she said, 'you soooo have to post parts of the email your cousin sent me - it was EXACTLY how i felt!' ....so here are some more things....



Hey Chris and mrs-bc-c,

I have been thinking of you both (mostly you mrs-bc-c...sorry Chris) often over the last 9 months.

Congratulations on little Miss Jordan Anne! A middle name after my heart. Grandma is smiling down on Jordan with pride and joy saying something like "look at that little angel, what a doll".

mrs-bc- I hope you feel better soon. I had a c-section with both my kids (they were both breech)(actually my son turned the morning of the c-section but I was high risk as well so they just continued with the plan).

I know everyone says how wonderful it is once the baby is born but I remember quite a different feeling. I think I remember it feeling more like a nightmare than dream to be honest. Don't get me wrong it is a joyful, exciting, love gushing event. Wow look at the perfect little human that you both created. On the other hand, you are still swollen and full of fluid and now have all these hormones (more if you have a girl than boy) flying around, you have the healing of the section and all that goes with that. Then they send you home just as your milk is coming in. I actually got engorged and my hubby had to buy cabbage so I could put a few leaves on my torpedo boobs. It sure helped (yes it works) but I smelt like a giant cabbage roll for about a week! I don't care what anyone says, breastfeeding is hard, at least it was for me or my new baby. It is definitely a learned skill. Not to mention all the well meaning family members that love to come over and share their opinions on raising a child.

Take your time. Go at your own pace. Trust your instincts. I had a visit from the public health nurse shortly after being discharged from the hospital. I found this really really helpful. She weighed the baby and answered a lot of my questions (that I forgot to ask at the hospital). She also put me in touch with a lactation consultant (I needed it desperately) and a mommy and me playgroup (more for the mommy's but it gave me the understanding that a lot of new moms had the exact same questions, problems and concerns).

Soothers, breastfeeding, formula, swaddle, not swaddle etc etc etc. You will figure it out. Forgive me if I have added more than my 2 cents. It is a wonderful life changing event. If you ever want to talk, chat, question, vent, gush at what Jordan just did please send me an email or give me a call, I would love to hear all about it.

Tell that cousin of mine to take good care of you both. Can't believe you are a dad now Chris!

As Grandma used to say "take care of your dearest selves",

[Bunk]

Prior to my wife's c-section, she had a similar procedure a year earlier to have a fibroid removed from her uterus, so she kind of knew what to expect (exactly the same incision).

For her, it wasn't too big a deal. A planned C-section is definitely better than going through labour and then having to have one. The whole thing is incredibly fast. They'll warn her about feeling a lot of pressure and stuff and feeling quite cold in the OR. My wife was shaking quite a bit.

The recovery is the worst in the first week - and gets considerably better by week 2. Usually Tylenol 3 is enough of a pain killer after the first day or so.

[calgarybornnraised]

Hopefully the doctor pushes the baby out and not pull or rip the stomach muscles.

[cavalera403]

Came in looking for vaginal expansion comment .... Left satisfied

[HalifaxDrunk]

My wife has had 2. Six years ago our son was breach so it was mandatory, then to be safe (due to the loss of two babies in between) our daughter was a scheduled early section. This was only 4 months ago - wow time flys.

I did stand up and look both times when they took the baby out. The Anesthesiologist sits up by Mom's head and you and they just told me when to stand. In all honestly I didn't even notice the surgery, each time I was just in so much awe at my new son & daughter that I didn't focus on anything else. I understand this is not for everyone as you can't force yourself not to look, it was just automatic for me.

I followed the nurse with the baby over to the side area where the suction out the lungs, weigh baby, and do a few other things. Warning - once you hear the first cry, prepare to cry yourself! Calling it a miracle is not an overstatement. The nurse will then swaddle the baby up and give him/her to you. You can then bring the baby up to see Mommy while the doctors finish up the procedure. These first few moments stay with you forever!

Take your camera into the operating room. Snapping pictures the first few moments of life are worth it. While the baby is more red than pink and these pics are not usually found framed on the wall, looking back they are worth their weight in gold, I took a ton.

Here is Fiona about 1 minute old. "I'm cold, put me back!!!!"



Fiona about 2 minutes old with Mommy & Daddy, you can see the doctors still at work on the other side of the sheet. The sheet is usually higher, it was lowered as I was just talking to our Obstetrician. Yes, I'm wearing my lucky 2004 Flames playoff shirt for the birth.



Fiona about 1 week ago! Proud Dad just has to share pics!




To echo other posts above, you get to be Super Dad for the first while, don't worry it's fun and you will want to do it. Mom will not be allowed to lift anything heavier than the baby for 4-6 weeks. This includes the baby in a car seat. She will probably not be allowed to drive for 4 weeks (longer if you drive a standard).

Congrats and enjoy every moment! PM/reply if you have any questions.

[Ruttiger]

We had an unplanned c-section six months ago and I've seen a lot of good advice in this thread. I'll add a couple things based on our experience:

• There may never be a moment in your lives when your wife needs you more than this. Do whatever you need to do to prepare yourself before hand/desensitize, but you owe it to her to be by her side and support her. It's about her.
• Lots of c-sections go smoothly - ours didn't necessarily. Be prepared to advocate for her if need be - your know your wife better than anyone in that room. The Dr.'s don't need someone causing problems, as that would be a quick way to get yourself escorted out. But if you know your wife is in distress and they're not responding, you need to bring this to the anesthesiologists attention.
• Afterwards, make sure to be proactive in getting your wife lots of time with the baby. She's likely not mobile or strong enough to go pick your baby up as much as she'd like - do this for her and make sure she gets all the baby time she can handle.

A c-section changes the dynamics of the delivery and recovery for sure, but when all is said and done, there aren't words to describe the gift you both receive. Good luck and enjoy the ride!

[Ashartus]

We had one unplanned and one planned. Most of my tips have already been covered, but if it's planned be prepared for delays. We were scheduled at 10:00 am and were pushed back until around 5:30 pm by various emergencies (we even got as far as going to the OR and getting gowned up before getting bumped at one point).

There are also potential complications down the road - not necessarily of the magnitude to get panicked about, but my wife needed more surgery 2 years after the second one, which meant another 6 weeks of no lifting.

If your wife has a choice, get the dissolving stitches instead of staples - mine found the staples to be much more uncomfortable and more hassle afterwards.

[Russic]

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

Final tip: quite often babies born via c-section lose more weight after birth than non c-section babies, and the mom's milk takes longer to come in. So you may have to get the baby on formula while still making sure the feedings are happening so the milk does come in. Don't let the health nurses freak you out if they tell you your baby has lost too much weight. Just get ready made formula (maybe make sure you have some ahead of time) and supplement with that to get the weight back up.

PM me if you have any questions now or even during - went through this a year ago so its all very fresh.

Quoting because this can't be stressed enough. Some nurses are absolutely awesome, while others actually seem to draw strength from making new moms feel like garbage. The breast milk debate can get very intense, so don't be afraid to push back a little if you feel your wife is being pulled in a direction she doesn't want to go. Formula isn't the greatest, but a mom who can't stop panicking because she feels like she's failing is more damaging than any formula. Because of the workload that will be placed upon you for the first little while, I'd argue you need to give yourself every advantage you possibly can.

When we had our first kid the aggressive nurses freaked us out big time, but for our second we had the confidence to kindly ask a nurse or two to back off a little.

Good luck!

[tete]

Two non-C section related suggestions, but good advice anyway:

1) When the nurses give her the stool softeners, make sure she takes them and continues to take them after she leaves the hospital for a good week or two. I can't stress this enough. Nothing sucks more than having a sore hoo-ha (or incision in the case of a C-section) and then ending up with hemmohroids/fissures a week post-partum.

2) Related to the milk coming in - she will have colostrum to feed the baby initially before her milk comes in. If she's feeling that she needs more help, don't hesitate to find a lactation consultant - I went to one up at the Alex health centre on Centre St. and she was excellent (even though I was unable to breastfeed successfully in the end). Those LCs are worth their weight in gold and can be amazing in providing support and advice - I agree that the hospital nurses can be a PITA - I got so many different opinions from them on breastfeeding in the three days I was in the hospital. When you're a new mom, it's overwhelming.

Wishing your family all the best and congratulations!

[bradster57]

Congrats! Been through 2 C-sections as my kids were huge (10+ lbs). The first one I was pretty nervous but its amazing how fast they are. Just take a seat, grab your wifes hand, and enjoy the birth of you child. By the 2nd kid, I was a pro! C-section babies are the cute too because their faces aren't squished!

Word of advice- after the baby comes out they told me to go over and meet the baby while they are cleaning it off. This was "behind the curtain" so be sure not to look at your wife unless you can handle blood! I accidently looked the first time and it wasn't pretty!

The hard part is after you get home. Wifey couldn't use the stairs or move too much so you'll be doing all of the new baby stuff. But it gets better.

[Minnie]

Originally Posted by Russic

Quoting because this can't be stressed enough. Some nurses are absolutely awesome, while others actually seem to draw strength from making new moms feel like garbage. The breast milk debate can get very intense, so don't be afraid to push back a little if you feel your wife is being pulled in a direction she doesn't want to go. Formula isn't the greatest, but a mom who can't stop panicking because she feels like she's failing is more damaging than any formula. Because of the workload that will be placed upon you for the first little while, I'd argue you need to give yourself every advantage you possibly can.

When we had our first kid the aggressive nurses freaked us out big time, but for our second we had the confidence to kindly ask a nurse or two to back off a little.

Good luck!

Quoted for truth. Breast is preferable but formula is not the devil/not poison in a can. I was made to feel like such a failure when I finally quit at 6 weeks post-section. I had tried everything and as Russic said, it was horrible to get the judgement. I was having a really hard recovery post-op as it was (crash sections tend not to be a lot of fun) and the snottiness didn't help. When we finally put baby on formula, everyone was much happier. I had success with the next two babies, but that first go-round was hell.

The end result everyone wants is a healthy and happy baby and mommy and if that means formula, big frigging whoop. I've gone toe to toe with some militant 'breast milk is the ONLY thing you should do, you total failure idiots' over the years.


Halifax Drunk, your wee Fiona is beautiful!

[octothorp]

My only advice is that you need to be gatekeeper of your hospital room afterwards. It can feel like there's nurses coming and going from the room every twenty minutes or so. In our case of an unplanned c-section, this can be very stressful when all she wants to do is rest and bond with the baby. Eventually I said, 'Look, if it's coming in to check on the baby, that's fine. But if it's the changing towels, fluffing pillows type visit, I'll let you know when there's something we need.' The nurses will respect your request for space and time, but only if you ask for it.

[slcrocket]

Originally Posted by Minnie

Quoted for truth. Breast is preferable but formula is not the devil/not poison in a can. I was made to feel like such a failure when I finally quit at 6 weeks post-section. I had tried everything and as Russic said, it was horrible to get the judgement. I was having a really hard recovery post-op as it was (crash sections tend not to be a lot of fun) and the snottiness didn't help. When we finally put baby on formula, everyone was much happier. I had success with the next two babies, but that first go-round was hell.

The end result everyone wants is a healthy and happy baby and mommy and if that means formula, big frigging whoop. I've gone toe to toe with some militant 'breast milk is the ONLY thing you should do, you total failure idiots' over the years.


Halifax Drunk, your wee Fiona is beautiful!

Precisely. There is a lot of ignorance on the breast milk/formula subject (on both sides).

My son was born with PKU, a rare metabolic disorder that severely limits the amount of protein he can take in. We had a nutritionist and a doctor from the PKU clinic at our local university contact us immediately. They told us that you can try to breast feed and they can make it work for the diet, but it's up to us.

Our little guy didn't take to nursing, and due to it being an unplanned C-Section, my wife's milk took longer to come in. All of that with the stress of learning about the disorder, we decided to go totally with the formula route (supplemented by the PKU-specific formula sent to us by the state).

My son is as healthy as can be (now 16 months). He's in the 80 percentile for height and weight and has been ahead of almost all the developmental markers for his age. Breast milk is great. But formula has been a good fit for us, and my son hasn't suffered in the least (just my wallet has ).

[GoinAllTheWay]

Originally Posted by GGG

If you have a queezy stomach don't read the following

Spoiler!

When you are in the surgery room if you want you can look over or around the curtain. It is pretty awsome. During the C-section they take out the large and small intestine to get at the baby so it is just sitting out there in a pile outside the body. At least that is what I think I saw. The surgical nurse caught be looking and told me I wasn't supposed to watch. It is not for the faint of heart.

HO...LY....S**t

[Bunk]

One thing I'll add is that for your wife the anesthetist is the most important person in the room. It's important for her to be in communication with that Dr. to make sure if she's feeling uncomfortable or pain that they can make the adjustment quickly. The anesthetist will be right beside you the whole time.