2025-2026 Blue Jackets update

[BagoPucks]

The Columbus Blue Jackets CPHL Roster: A Roster So Hot It’ll Make Nationwide Arena Melt



Phillip Danault (32, C): The human equivalent of plain toast — reliable, but nobody’s ever craving it. Danault’s idea of “lighting it up” is turning on a nightlight.

Cody Glass (26, C): Glass is shattered confidence wrapped in a “maybe someday” package. He’s got all the moves, just not all the goals — like a mime stuck in a goal-scoring rut.

Barrett Hayton (25, C): The eternal “work in progress.” If patience is a virtue, fans watching Hayton are basically saints… or gluttons for punishment.

Connor McMichael (24, C): Skates like he’s late for brunch. McMichael’s highlight reel would be impressive if only anyone could catch him before he forgets what he’s doing on the ice.

Mason McTavish (22, C): Has enough talent to light a small city… on fire. But sometimes he’s more “accidental arsonist” than “controlled blaze.”

Michael Rasmussen (26, C): Rasmussen’s best hockey skill? Perfecting the art of disappearing in the third period. If you blink, you’ll miss him — and so will the puck.

Lars Eller (36, LW): The grandpa of the group, Eller’s got more mileage than your old lawn mower and probably sounds like a broken record reminding everyone, “Back in my day…”

Marcus Foligno (33, LW): Foligno’s hockey résumé mostly reads “fights first, asks questions never.” He’s the guy you call when you want a puck to the face… by accident.

Jake Neighbours (23, LW): The most polite player on the ice — so polite, he apologizes for losing the puck. Neighbours is hockey’s version of a friendly but utterly useless neighbor.

Gustav Nyquist (35, LW, on waivers): Currently playing “Where’s Waldo” on the waiver wire. Nyquist’s career is like that forgotten sweater at the back of your closet — a little rough but with sentimental value.

Cole Smith (29, LW): A player so anonymous, the puck forgets he’s there half the time. Smith’s hockey highlight? Not making waves or headlines — a true master of invisibility.

Michael McCarron (30, RW): Big guy, small impact. McCarron’s main contribution is looking intimidating while sipping water on the bench.

Simon Benoit (26, D): The human wall… if the wall had a few holes and occasionally let the puck through. Benoit’s defense is like Swiss cheese — more holes than substance.

Zach Bogosian (34, D): The guy who’s been around so long he probably invented the slapshot… or at least remembers when it was cool.

Vincent Desharnais (29, D): His name sounds fancy, but on ice he’s more “meh-shar-nice.” Desharnais is the kind of guy you’d hire to fill a seat rather than change the game.

Derek Forbort (33, D): Forbort’s specialty? Being everywhere and nowhere at once. He’s hockey’s version of “Where’s Waldo” but with fewer fans interested in finding him.

Joe Hanley (34, D): The defenseman with a name that sounds like a sitcom dad — probably the guy making dad jokes in the locker room and wondering why no one laughs.

Mattias Samuelsson (25, D): Big and burly but sometimes about as graceful as a hippo on ice. Samuelsson’s skating style: “Hold my coffee, I’m about to crash.”

Jonas Siegenthaler (28, D): The invisible man of defense. You only notice him when he’s not there, which might explain why opponents sometimes don’t either.

Parker Wotherspoon (27, D): His name sounds like a wizard’s spell but plays like a first-year magic student who forgot the incantation.

Adin Hill (29, G): The goalie who’s either your best friend or your worst nightmare — all depends on what kind of day he woke up on. Fans refer to him as “The Mood Swing.”

Elvis Merzlikins (31, G): Named like a rock star, plays like a roller coaster. One moment, he’s a brick wall; the next, he’s giving up goals like he’s handing out flyers.

Final Thoughts:
The Columbus Blue Jackets roster looks like a garage sale of hockey careers: some items are vintage classics, others are dusty relics, and a few are “grab it quick before someone else does” specials. If rebuilding is the plan, the first step is probably a team meeting to remind everyone that the goal isn’t just decoration behind the goalie.

In the meantime, fans can enjoy the show — mostly because it’s so unpredictable, it might be a comedy instead of hockey.

[MJK]

The Columbus Blue Jackets CPHL roster looks like it was assembled in a dimly lit garage using expired scouting reports and a Ouija board. Center depth? More like a support group for unfulfilled potential — Danault is toast without butter, Glass is confidence in pieces, and Hayton’s development is on a leisurely stroll through molasses. Their wings flap but don’t fly — Foligno fights ghosts, Neighbours plays like one, and Nyquist is already halfway to retirement in spirit (and likely in Florida). The defense core is a tribute to defensive lapses: Bogosian remembers when skates had buckles, Forbort’s best move is changing lines, and Wotherspoon sounds magical but plays like he’s under a curse. In net, Adin Hill flips between elite and existential crisis, while Elvis continues to leave the building — and the crease — at the worst possible moments. It’s a team that inspires fear — not in opponents, but in their own fanbase.

[BagoPucks]

the Playoffs

In a league obsessed with speed, skill, and highlight-reel goals, the Columbus Blue Jackets took a different approach this season:

Work harder than everyone else, defend like your lives depend on it, and politely decline to participate in high-scoring games.

The result?

A playoff berth that absolutely nobody saw coming… except maybe the players, who quietly believed that if they stuck to the system long enough, something good would happen.

And somehow, it did.

From the very beginning, Columbus made one thing clear:

They were not going to outscore you.
They were going to outlast you.

Games quickly developed a pattern:

Opponent enters the zone → immediately pressured
Shot attempt → blocked
Rebound → cleared
Second attempt → denied again

Repeat this for approximately 60 minutes.

At the center of this defensive masterpiece was Phillip Danault, who spent the season doing what he does best: eliminating opposing top players from the game entirely.

Superstars came into games against Columbus expecting to dominate.

They left wondering if they had actually played.

If you managed to get past Danault (rare), you were greeted by the defensive pairing of Mattias Samuelsson and Jonas Siegenthaler.

Their job description was simple:

Protect the net
Win battles
Do not allow fun

And they executed it perfectly.

Supporting them were players like Carson Soucy and Parker Wotherspoon, who brought steady, mistake-free hockey.

Then there was the third pair—Dmitry Kulikov and Simon Benoit—who ensured that even when plays broke down, opponents would at least feel it physically.

This forward group deserves credit, because they fully committed to a system that often asked them to prioritize defense over scoring.

Veterans like Yanni Gourde, Ryan Strome and Marcus Foligno set the tone with relentless effort and physical play. Every shift was contested. Every puck was earned.

Meanwhile, younger players such as Mason McTavish, Connor McMichael, and Jake Neighbours embraced the system—even if it occasionally meant passing up risky offensive chances in favor of playing the safe, responsible game.

Even Claude Giroux, at this stage of his career, adapted seamlessly—using his experience to make smart, efficient plays rather than trying to carry the offense on his own.

The result?

A team that didn’t score often—but when it did, it was usually enough.

No team like this succeeds without players willing to do the difficult, often unnoticed work.

Players like Teddy Blueger and Barrett Hayton became essential pieces, handling defensive zone responsibilities, penalty killing, and key late-game situations.

They weren’t filling the scoresheet—but they were filling the role that made the system function.

Behind it all stood Adin Hill, who delivered exactly what the team needed.

He didn’t need to steal games every night—he just needed to make the saves he was supposed to make.

And he did.

With the defensive structure in front of him limiting quality chances, Hill provided the consistency that allowed the system to thrive.

Meanwhile, Elvis Merzlikins provided reliable support, ensuring the team never felt vulnerable in net.

Winning the Hard Way (Over and Over Again)

Columbus didn’t dominate games.
They didn’t overwhelm opponents.

They simply executed better in the moments that mattered.

Tight defensive coverage
Smart puck management
Disciplined positioning
Consistent effort

Most games ended with scores like 2–1 or 3–2—not because Columbus couldn’t score more, but because they didn’t need to.

At various points in the season, this team looked like it was still in transition—balancing veterans and younger players, trying to establish an identity.

By the end of the season, that identity was clear.

The Columbus Blue Jackets became a team that:

Competes every night
Defends consistently
Plays within its structure
And refuses to beat itself

That combination turned what looked like a rebuilding year into a playoff run.

This playoff berth isn’t just a short-term success—it’s a foundation.

The system works.
The players believe in it.
And the mix of leadership and youth suggests this team is only getting started.

They may not be the most exciting team in the league.
They may not lead the league in scoring.

But they’ve proven something just as valuable:

If you work hard enough, defend well enough, and commit fully to your identity… you can win.

Final Thought

The Columbus Blue Jackets didn’t take the easy path to the playoffs.

They took the difficult one—the one built on structure, discipline, and consistency.

And now that they’re here?

They’re not just a team that made the playoffs.

They’re a team that earned it every single night.

Lets go Jackets! We are going to enjoy the heck out of this trade deadline and playoffs!

[BagoPucks]

TLDR, no fun allowed

[JonDuke]

Great write up!!