Rate your current mental health level out of 10

[Fuzz]

It sounds like she might have dementia. Is it possible to contact her doctor and get advice to get her in?

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

You're awesome too.

I dunno about that.

As an aside, i e-transferred my boob cousin $1,500 today as a loan. I am sure I won't see that again. I ignored a call for help and it didn't turn out well so that will never happen again. The guilt is worth far more than 1500 bucks.

[Traditional_Ale]

^

If $1500 into the wind cleared your conscience enough to share "ignoring a call for help" then I have good news for you.

You ignored a call for a favor.

Obviously I don't know your specifics, but I think there is a big giant universal difference in the implications of help vs a favour that needs to be minded before said specifics.

I think help is something you do either to save a life, or for any reason you want so long as it is truly and genuinely without strings and expectations (which is a favor). Help I think is an objectively non-sensical cosmic dice-roll based on time place and circumstances given freely. Sometimes you don't really have much time to decide.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I dunno about that.

As an aside, i e-transferred my boob cousin $1,500 today as a loan. I am sure I won't see that again. I ignored a call for help and it didn't turn out well so that will never happen again. The guilt is worth far more than 1500 bucks.

Oh dude...enjoy your Peace.

$1500 is a cheap price for Peace. I've paid more than that to one of my wife's family members to "make this go away and never bother me with it again...but make no mistake...this is it. Last time. Make it count."

But unfortunately they always seem to come back. However I can lean on "pay the original amount back and I'll lend you some more...no? Well...what did I tell ya?"

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

^

If $1500 into the wind cleared your conscience enough to share "ignoring a call for help" then I have good news for you.

You ignored a call for a favor.

Obviously I don't know your specifics, but I think there is a big giant universal difference in the implications of help vs a favour that needs to be minded before said specifics.

I think help is something you do either to save a life, or for any reason you want so long as it is truly and genuinely without strings and expectations (which is a favor). Help I think is an objectively non-sensical cosmic dice-roll based on time place and circumstances given freely. Sometimes you don't really have much time to decide.

I think i mentioned prior but half brother hung himself in his kitchen. I didnt see that coming for sure. I don't have a roadmap on wtf to do. I largely have no idea what to do always.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I think i mentioned prior but half brother hung himself in his kitchen. I didnt see that coming for sure. I don't have a roadmap on wtf to do. I largely have no idea what to do always.

Oof. My bad. I didn't know that.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Oof. My bad. I didn't know that.

I had ghosted him at the time because he was annoying and had gambling problems.

I think I need a female therapist.

...not some religious dork.

He asks for me to describe in detail my getting molested.

I said 'I don't think I like you enough to go there but here goes, he fataed me in my @ss and came on my 10 year old chest, we done, do I need photos?' Walked out.

Now I'm a zombie two days later.

[RichieRich]

some days... some weeks... some years...
I wonder what it's really like when EVERYTHING is super happy awesome times and not the acronym. Anyways, seem to be on a better up swing. Some of that has been because of trying to set better boundaries. It's been a regular family conversation actually and we all have agreed how important they are both for ourselves and others. And how some people seem to consistently do their best to empty YOUR bucket, even when it's obvious you need someone to spare a few drops. Anyways, based on recent convo's here... perhaps the word of the week needs to be "Boundaries"?

[Nancy]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I had ghosted him at the time because he was annoying and had gambling problems.

I think I need a female therapist.

...not some religious dork.

He asks for me to describe in detail my getting molested.

I said 'I don't think I like you enough to go there but here goes, he fataed me in my @ss and came on my 10 year old chest, we done, do I need photos?' Walked out.

Now I'm a zombie two days later.

JFC, that is brutal. So sorry you went through that, both then and now.

I have used this site, it at least allows you to search and filter conditions, but there are so many psychologists in Calgary, I found it difficult to pick one: https://www.sunlife.ca/en/health/provider-search/

Curious if the guy you saw shows up on here and how well is he rated?

My GP also recommends the Calgary Counselling Center. They do an intake survey and supposedly match you up with one of their counsellors, and have a sliding scale fee system, but I didn't feel like the one they matched me up with was really a match, so I ended up going elsewhere. https://calgarycounselling.com/.

That said, I may give them another shot. I didn't really connect with the psychologist I ended up seeing last fall and then didn't feel like I needed it anymore, but dropped back to a 0 for a while last month, so here we go again...

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by Sylvanfan

My elderly mother is clearly having some serious issues. She's convinced that the basement of my house has some toxic salt that's attacking her and ruining all her stuff. I've suggested we need to go to a Doctor to try and get a referral to get some tests done. But I get the you think I'm crazy...but someone has sabotaged all my stuff, and the emotional responses one would anticipate. As an adult you can make your kids go to a doctor...but parents is another thing.

It's not very enjoyable watching someone get to this stage and try to deal with it. I really don't have the patience to hear an 80 year old ask me 500 why questions, make outlandish accusations against my wife, and be lectured about knowing crazy people and iIm not one. While the expect me to spend 2 hours looking at every imperfection or spec of dust in the house that's been found because that's what she's been hyper focused on doing.

It's not her fault, but it's grinding me down, and I'm not sure how I can get her to go to a doctor to try and address this before it's too late. Tough stretch in life when you have this plus your own kids. My Dad passed from a heart attack almost 20 years ago, I'm thankful to have not had to deal with anything like this at that time.

This is why people need to make sure they get personal directives and enduring power of attorney sorted out before they get too old to think clearly. It's as important as a will.

[Cali Panthers Fan]

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

This is why people need to make sure they get personal directives and enduring power of attorney sorted out before they get too old to think clearly. It's as important as a will.

Cool.

However, the bulk of that post is about how difficult it is for him emotionally to deal with all this. I don't think you understand the point of the thread.

[Joborule]

Originally Posted by Sylvanfan

My elderly mother is clearly having some serious issues. She's convinced that the basement of my house has some toxic salt that's attacking her and ruining all her stuff. I've suggested we need to go to a Doctor to try and get a referral to get some tests done. But I get the you think I'm crazy...but someone has sabotaged all my stuff, and the emotional responses one would anticipate. As an adult you can make your kids go to a doctor...but parents is another thing.

It's not very enjoyable watching someone get to this stage and try to deal with it. I really don't have the patience to hear an 80 year old ask me 500 why questions, make outlandish accusations against my wife, and be lectured about knowing crazy people and iIm not one. While the expect me to spend 2 hours looking at every imperfection or spec of dust in the house that's been found because that's what she's been hyper focused on doing.

It's not her fault, but it's grinding me down, and I'm not sure how I can get her to go to a doctor to try and address this before it's too late. Tough stretch in life when you have this plus your own kids. My Dad passed from a heart attack almost 20 years ago, I'm thankful to have not had to deal with anything like this at that time.

I don't have much to say except I feel you. I've been going through a similar circumstance with my mother over the past 3 years. It's definitely a grind emotionally, and it both challenging and frustrating to try to get her the medical assistance she required proactively until things got bad enough that she had to have a mental health warrant done twice.

She wasn't diagnosed with dementia, but personality delusion disorder.

After the second time she ended up in the hospital, she couldn't go back to her home since that was the primary trigger. After a year trying to live independently in an apartment, she's now in a nursing home since she requires support on hand to make sure she's eating well and be part of a community. She's having a very difficult time with all of these transitions in such a short time span on top of other issues she has ongoing, but she's not having the paranoia episodes anymore thanks to complying with the medication.

Looking back my mom had a strong sense of paranoia. She would jump to conclusions although there was no evidence or logic to reach the conclusions she would have. But I feel the pandemic really effed her up due to the break up of her routine and isolation it brought about. Combine that with all the scam calls that were happening, and I believe it caused her condition to get out of hand and led to her seeing and hearing things that weren't happening.

It's an exhausting situation to handle - especially if you have to do it primarily by yourself. Hopefully there's a solution that can be found where you can convince her to take the step in talking to her doctor about this. But with whatever ends up happening, make sure you're doing what you can to trying to take care of yourself as well.

[Locke]

Not gonna lie...low today.

A client came in today...and I call him a 'client' but he worked with my dad at Greyhound and Red Arrow, he has known me and been a friend my entire life and he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Real fast.

So...I tried to give him all the time in world. Just to talk. Because this was the last time I'd ever see him alive and we both knew it.

My office was his last stop in regards to being mobile. After seeing me he was handing over his car to whomever he sold it to and handing in his Driver's License. After being a Professional Driver for 50+ years.

And in the meantime 3 people came into my office needing my attention. They just stopped in with no appointments and demanded my attention...my office is not a McDonald's drive-through. I am trying to give this man my complete attention for the very last time. This was genuinely the last time I would see him alive.

He will be dead sooner than later. I wanted him to have 100% of my attention. I think he deserved it and I wanted to give it to him but I've got people lined up...

He was so conscientious and kind...he knew I was busy and was trying to get out of my office so I could get back to work...like I could? So he graciously shuffles out of my office...

And then "Locke...I need this and I need that and..."

I was losing it. I just needed a goddamned minute. I just needed one goddamned minute to get my #### together! I just said goodbye to a dear friend for the last time and I just needed one goddamned minute to get myself together while this immensely kind friend of mine shuffled out of my life for the last time.

So I went into my office, closed the door and just tried to collect myself to get on with the day...

And they're outside my office in my waiting room. Irate. They know I'm not 'working' in there and they're right...I wasn't. I just needed time to collect myself to get on with my day and then solve their problems.

It just about killed me.

I intensely care about my clients and I deeply care about my friends...and I feel like I disrespected this immensely kind man by being busy...these people weren't supposed to just show up. This was 'his time.' Thats how I booked it.

I feel like a giant POS because I pretty much failed everyone today. All in the span of 1 hour.

Years and years of caring and...*poof* the goodwill is gone. Just like that.

So yeah. Today was a low day.

But I'll get it together and back at it tomorrow.

[Dion]

Could you have not told those 3 people that you are talking to a friend who is dying and to backoff? They had no appointment and they had no right to made demands of you. #######s should have waited until your friend was done talking.

Cancer got my Dad so I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I'm sure he knows that you cared and was there to listen to him. Cancer ####ing sucks!!!

[troutman]

Locke - set boundaries for your clients. Accommodate them just a little, and they will take a mile when you give them an inch. No one should expect immediate service without an appointment.

[TrentCrimmIndependent]

Nah, you didn't fail anybody and you're human. Can't be on top of it every day. Some days there are legitimate reasons not to be. That was one of those.

Setting boundaries is one of the harder things that most of us never perfect, especially in work environments where expectations never let up and we fool ourselves into thinking we can handle everything that comes at us without missing a beat.

Totally reasonable that you needed a moment to process things. The other people were curt because they had no idea what was going on on your end. That's on them for expecting a seamless experience despite coming in without a heads up.

[flamesfever]

You may consider hiring a highly efficient front office person to act as a shield to leave you alone when clients act in a demanding manner. Perhaps someone with bookkeeping skills that can take part of the load off. Just an idea

[Locke]

Originally Posted by flamesfever

You may consider hiring a highly efficient front office person to act as a shield to leave you alone when clients act in a demanding manner. Perhaps someone with bookkeeping skills that can take part of the load off. Just an idea.

Its...a little more complicated. I unfortunately had to let my last receptionist go last week because of a variety of reasons, but mostly because she just randomly wouldn't show up for work without any notice and it was just happening more and more often.

As usual, I always have a backup plan and I enacted it, but yesterday was my new receptionist's second day. It was kind of a rough one, but everyone needs time to settle in.

And I have I do have staff for bookkeeping work, but they're not really adept at dealing with people face-to-face. They do more of the 'back room' work.