Rate your current mental health level out of 10

[fotze2]

Erectile dysfunction?

[Titan2]

Originally Posted by FanIn80

snip ... There should be some kind of like Nobel award for people like Bingo who think up things like this and actually go through with it and keep the lights on etc.... snip end...

That paste-eating troll? He just bought a domain and let the cheques roll in.

Photon, now that is a real hero!!

[fotze2]

For some reason mother’s MAID death is rearing its head today. Day was scheduled for a long time. Had lung cancer due to darting like a fiend her whole
Life. I’ve probably told this story before. With MAID you have to do it early else you become incapacitated and cannot agree to it later.

I roped my wife into coming with me. We were squabbling because I was being a dink leading up to death day so I drove to the house the house alone. So I text my wife who my mom adored and they were close. I said “really? You aren’t going to come”. So she came right away.

I had never seen anyone die. Hope I never do again.

Her best friends me my dad and wife there. She answers the door, two nurse ladies who do the killing. Offers them coffee and says “can we get this show on the road, I’m gonna go for my final cigarette”.

She was so flippant and casual about a day that is the worst day of all our lives. She’s making jokes. Dad and I never discussed emotions ever. I don’t think I ever hugged him.

We go upstairs to brothers old room who isn’t there. They hook up an IV with some yellow mango pudding color. They do a sedative starter. She’s still making jokes. All standing around the bed. Then the goo goes in and she shuts her eyes and dies.

I could have stopped it easily but probably not what I should have done.

The friends and wife leave the room. Just me and my dad. Only time I’ve ever seen him cry. He stand there for a bit. He says we should get out of here, there’s a dead body in here. It was devastating and hilarious at the same time. She got to choose her end which is great but fata me. MAIDis the most selfless and selfish thing to do.

I’m kinda angry at my mother because this day haunts me. I know it haunts my wife.

As Billy bob says. I’ve never trusted happiness since then.
I’ve got six layers of multi dimensional guilt on this.
Fack

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by fotze2

For some reason mother’s MAID death is rearing its head today. Day was scheduled for a long time. Had lung cancer due to darting like a fiend her whole
Life. I’ve probably told this story before. With MAID you have to do it early else you become incapacitated and cannot agree to it later.

I roped my wife into coming with me. We were squabbling because I was being a dink leading up to death day so I drove to the house the house alone. So I text my wife who my mom adored and they were close. I said “really? You aren’t going to come”. So she came right away.

I had never seen anyone die. Hope I never do again.

Her best friends me my dad and wife there. She answers the door, two nurse ladies who do the killing. Offers them coffee and says “can we get this show on the road, I’m gonna go for my final cigarette”.

She was so flippant and casual about a day that is the worst day of all our lives. She’s making jokes. Dad and I never discussed emotions ever. I don’t think I ever hugged him.

We go upstairs to brothers old room who isn’t there. They hook up an IV with some yellow mango pudding color. They do a sedative starter. She’s still making jokes. All standing around the bed. Then the goo goes in and she shuts her eyes and dies.

I could have stopped it easily but probably not what I should have done.

The friends and wife leave the room. Just me and my dad. Only time I’ve ever seen him cry. He stand there for a bit. He says we should get out of here, there’s a dead body in here. It was devastating and hilarious at the same time. She got to choose her end which is great but fata me. MAIDis the most selfless and selfish thing to do.

I’m kinda angry at my mother because this day haunts me. I know it haunts my wife.

As Billy bob says. I’ve never trusted happiness since then.
I’ve got six layers of multi dimensional guilt on this.
Fack

No one is ever great around death, it doesn't bring out the best in any of us, it never happens the way we want or imagine it

Give everyone including yourself a pass

[PaperBagger'14]

Lung cancer is a real ugly disease with an awful end, my uncle died in his mid 50s before MAID was an option from it. Massive weight loss, inability to breathe unassisted, he was unable to speak for the last few weeks, bedridden from being too weak to breathe.

I’m sorry you lost her that way Fotze but I am glad you didn’t see her like that.

[Locke]

Yeah, my father-in-law died from that and it was slow and agonizing way to go. Not fun for anyone so the MAID may have been a blessing.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by Locke

Yeah, my father-in-law died from that and it was slow and agonizing way to go. Not fun for anyone so the MAID may have been a blessing.

It was totally a blessing, just not totally without bad. She chose her end of the melody, not cancer.

Left the game early to make beef dip for the kids. Carmelize onions. Good sub buns from coop. Skif of mayo, au jus. Had a proper family meal. They beat one of the best teams. New kid devouring it. I think it was too salty.

At the dinner table , My kid tells me his mentor buddy (they assign a younger kid to mentor in the school ), has a dad who played in the NHL. Some Brent seabrook guy. Why didn’t you tell me this earlier. That is so cool.

Then after dinner the new kid after having two of them said thanks and it was the best thing he’s ever eaten. He’s lived on uber eats for a year.

Crap day became a better day for sure.

[fotze2]

I know that is some scattered thought there. Well aware

[Titan2]

Sorry Fotze. Was the actual day like yesterday or was this the anniversary of it? That is a lot to go through.

btw you are doing an excellent thing for that kid. It is incredibly selfless, and I bet that kid will remember you for the rest of his life.

[Titan2]

Not to hijack Fotze's post but my mom is confined to a home with advanced dementia. Can't speak anymore. Does not know anyone or anything happening around her and has wasted away to nothing. Didn't always have the best relationship with her but it is really sad that she is gone, even though she hasn't actually gone yet. What a way to exist. I wonder what the world is like from her perspective. I do appreciate that her quality of life has gone up from when the dementia was just taking hold. Fought with everybody, thought people were stealing from her. Said she hated her husband for putting her in the home. One of the hardest days of my life was taking her there. The second hardest day was when the ambulance had to come to the house to take her to Ponoka because she wasn't sick enough yet to be in that home. She fought like a banshee. The poor ambulance drivers had to wrestle her down, inject her, and then load her on the gurney. Meanwhile, she is shouting epithets at everyone, particularly her husband, because of what he was doing to her. That was not as fun as it sounds. What a ####ty way to run out the clock. Man.

I guess, live for the moment because you never know what is coming around the bend at you.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by Titan2

Sorry Fotze. Was the actual day like yesterday or was this the anniversary of it? That is a lot to go through.

btw you are doing an excellent thing for that kid. It is incredibly selfless, and I bet that kid will remember you for the rest of his life.

No just random day blues. It's incrementally negligible for us and most people would do the same. Few bucks extra on food but thats it. They have had a brutal schedule this year and 5:30 am 5 days aa week and 2 am pickups at the airport on sundays. Understandable if you do not have a kid on the team to be sick of it.

[ben voyonsdonc]

Originally Posted by Titan2

One of the hardest days of my life was taking her there. The second hardest day was when the ambulance had to come to the house to take her to Ponoka because she wasn't sick enough yet to be in that home. She fought like a banshee. The poor ambulance drivers had to wrestle her down, inject her, and then load her on the gurney. Meanwhile, she is shouting epithets at everyone, particularly her husband, because of what he was doing to her. That was not as fun as it sounds. What a ####ty way to run out the clock. Man.

Holy #### dude. That sounds deeply traumatic.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by Titan2

Not to hijack Fotze's post but my mom is confined to a home with advanced dementia. Can't speak anymore. Does not know anyone or anything happening around her and has wasted away to nothing. Didn't always have the best relationship with her but it is really sad that she is gone, even though she hasn't actually gone yet. What a way to exist. I wonder what the world is like from her perspective. I do appreciate that her quality of life has gone up from when the dementia was just taking hold. Fought with everybody, thought people were stealing from her. Said she hated her husband for putting her in the home. One of the hardest days of my life was taking her there. The second hardest day was when the ambulance had to come to the house to take her to Ponoka because she wasn't sick enough yet to be in that home. She fought like a banshee. The poor ambulance drivers had to wrestle her down, inject her, and then load her on the gurney. Meanwhile, she is shouting epithets at everyone, particularly her husband, because of what he was doing to her. That was not as fun as it sounds. What a ####ty way to run out the clock. Man.

I guess, live for the moment because you never know what is coming around the bend at you.

Why would she have to go to Ponoka? and also, now I am crying reading that so fata you.

[Titan2]

Originally Posted by fotze2

Why would she have to go to Ponoka? and also, now I am crying reading that so fata you.

No FATA YOU!!

Ponoka is equipped to handle disruptive patients. It is the 'big leagues' of psych facilities. Unfortunately, they could not do anything for her but were able to manage her outbursts much better until she declined enough to be able to return to the previous facility.

Where she is now is really awful. The facility is nice, and the staff are good, but it is literally a warehouse for people waiting to die. It is so creepy walking in there because there are all these old people just sitting there. Vacant stares. Not cards, not watching TV. Not talking with each other. Just sitting there waiting to die. Horrible. I can't imagine MAID could be worse than that. Having said that I would hate to go through it. I lost my #### completely when we put our dog down. I can't imagine what it would be like for family. Like all things it is harder for those left behind. I would probably welcome MAID for my Mom but watching my Dad have to deal with it would be horrible. He broke down when we took her in the first time.

Not fun stuff.

Try to make a joke about that, you sick ####!! I dare you.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by Titan2

No FATA YOU!!

Ponoka is equipped to handle disruptive patients. It is the 'big leagues' of psych facilities. Unfortunately, they could not do anything for her but were able to manage her outbursts much better until she declined enough to be able to return to the previous facility.

Where she is now is really awful. The facility is nice, and the staff are good, but it is literally a warehouse for people waiting to die. It is so creepy walking in there because there are all these old people just sitting there. Vacant stares. Not cards, not watching TV. Not talking with each other. Just sitting there waiting to die. Horrible. I can't imagine MAID could be worse than that. Having said that I would hate to go through it. I lost my #### completely when we put our dog down. I can't imagine what it would be like for family. Like all things it is harder for those left behind. I would probably welcome MAID for my Mom but watching my Dad have to deal with it would be horrible. He broke down when we took her in the first time.

Not fun stuff.

Try to make a joke about that, you sick ####!! I dare you.

I know what Ponoka means that's why i asked. My old boss (who also died with dementia and colon cancer) called Ponoka the jitter joint or funny farm. That's another level of fataed facility.

My grandpa would upper cut nurses at the Fanning centre when he was waiting it out to die. My mom would get the weekly phone call and have to rush to the hospital to deal with it. My brother and I were young and stupid(er) and it was horrible but man did we laugh thinking of him and his big fists sucker punching nice nurses. What else can you do at that age. When something is horrible, you gotta make jokes about it.

Does this facility have Jessica Lange singing Bowie's Life on Mars there. Is there a girl with mousy hair? An American Horror Story - Freak Show reference.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Titan2

Not to hijack Fotze's post but my mom is confined to a home with advanced dementia. Can't speak anymore. Does not know anyone or anything happening around her and has wasted away to nothing. Didn't always have the best relationship with her but it is really sad that she is gone, even though she hasn't actually gone yet. What a way to exist. I wonder what the world is like from her perspective. I do appreciate that her quality of life has gone up from when the dementia was just taking hold. Fought with everybody, thought people were stealing from her. Said she hated her husband for putting her in the home. One of the hardest days of my life was taking her there. The second hardest day was when the ambulance had to come to the house to take her to Ponoka because she wasn't sick enough yet to be in that home. She fought like a banshee. The poor ambulance drivers had to wrestle her down, inject her, and then load her on the gurney. Meanwhile, she is shouting epithets at everyone, particularly her husband, because of what he was doing to her. That was not as fun as it sounds. What a ####ty way to run out the clock. Man.

I guess, live for the moment because you never know what is coming around the bend at you.

Dementia/Alzheimers is a real bitch.

I dealt with 2 grandparents that went through it and it is so rough that prior to MAID being an option my Dad told me:

"If that ever happens to me? Put me down. Find a way. I will not live like that. Figure it out and do what it takes."

He tells me that when I was 14!

But overall Titan is right. It sucks. And if you go through the mandated process and jump through the bureaucratic hoops? It takes forever, prolongs the problem and the afflicted person feels like a burden and just gets angrier and angrier.

The stories I could tell...I went to visit my Grandmother in the care facility and she nearly had a heart attack because 'a complete stranger broke into her room!'

She had no idea who I was, she had no idea who she was, she had no idea where she was or why.

They get food, medicine and a small TV. That is their life now. No thanks.

[habernac]

Fotze, my Dad’s death haunts me every day. We had a couple of weeks to prepare. Did I say enough to him? Did I spend enough time?

Got a call from my Mom that the end was near and I raced there from the Costco. He and I cried, had a pretty good talk. I wish I had done more. He was around for a couple more weeks after that. I know I did ok, but I still torture myself with questions of me doing and saying enough.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by habernac

Fotze, my Dad’s death haunts me every day. We had a couple of weeks to prepare. Did I say enough to him? Did I spend enough time?

Got a call from my Mom that the end was near and I raced there from the Costco. He and I cried, had a pretty good talk. I wish I had done more. He was around for a couple more weeks after that. I know I did ok, but I still torture myself with questions of me doing and saying enough.

That’s why I answer every phone call even if in a meeting or something. Missed the nursing home one when I thought it was a scam call and missed the window of going to see him. Died an hour or two later. So that’s whenever I get one of those scam calls I try to get to a person and proceed to say borderline evil things to them. The fake Telus calls are relentless but gives me a small bit of happiness.

[Fuzz]

If it's Telus it's always
"I'm so and so with Telus"
"Ya, no, that's not happening." Click.


Same with duct cleaning. And Microsoft. And Windows. And my MIL.

[Otto-matic]

Originally Posted by habernac

Fotze, my Dad’s death haunts me every day. We had a couple of weeks to prepare. Did I say enough to him? Did I spend enough time?

Got a call from my Mom that the end was near and I raced there from the Costco. He and I cried, had a pretty good talk. I wish I had done more. He was around for a couple more weeks after that. I know I did ok, but I still torture myself with questions of me doing and saying enough.

My Dad's final weeks haunts me, He had a real bad case of idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and it decimated him. He was a shell of the man who he was - watching someone you love quickly fall to a disease is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. It really ****s you up and leaves the people around it in a blast zone trying to piece together their lives while also knowing you're in for another hit.

I'm thankful he went quickly once his quality of life deteriorated and didn't suffer much. He was a man who loved video games, the Flames, dogs, his home and his family and he got to do all of that until the end.

I have the same thoughts though - did I do enough, spend enough time with him. I was only 21 when he passed and the thought of losing him made me scared of reality.


TBQH I probably have undiagnosed PTSD that I burried and ignored from his passing and going right into the 13 floods where our home got flooded out in Sunnyside losing majority of his belongings and all of our family photos, belongings and a sense of life.