Rate your current mental health level out of 10

[afc wimbledon]

My answer to both my kids was simple, you want an i phone get a job and buy one, no way in hell my mum was spending that kind of money on me, forced both my kids to get part time jobs, as I type my 17 year old is selling mini doughnuts at the game

[jayswin]

But what does making them earn it have to do with the phone itself being detrimental to their development? Seems like an unrelated "back min my day" rant, lol.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by jayswin

But what does making them earn it have to do with the phone itself being detrimental to their development? Seems like an unrelated "back min my day" rant, lol.

I was this way before my kids actually grew up. Social media is bad but not nearly as bad as being that one weirdo kid with Hutterite hippy parents who forbid it and you get pantsed repeatedly.

There was always that one kid in the kids locker room whose parents were that parent. Someone would bring in donuts and all the kids would have one but that one whose parents forbid it and he munched out of a lame ziploc bag of granola. That kid is going to be way better off.

[WinnipegFan]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I was this way before my kids actually grew up. Social media is bad but not nearly as bad as being that one weirdo kid with Hutterite hippy parents who forbid it and you get pantsed repeatedly.

There was always that one kid in the kids locker room whose parents were that parent. Someone would bring in donuts and all the kids would have one but that one whose parents forbid it and he munched out of a lame ziploc bag of granola. That kid is going to be way better off.

I can see the comparison your making here but everyone I know who has gone through this with their child and held there ground has had their child thank them in adulthood for it.

The impact of social media is far more impactful than a donut, sugar, or clothing. It is a life long impact and as a parent I will risk the social issues fversus the long term impact.

The millionaires who create these platforms don't let their kids on them. This should be the real telling factor for us.

[Geraldsh]

Last night I listened to my 12 year old grandson try to convince his parents that he needed an iPhone; they were not persuaded, not even close. Grandma was also a resounding no and she usually gives the little buggers whatever they want.
I offered him a brand new deck of cards to play with while his friends were on their phones but he didn’t care for that idea either.

[DoubleF]

Originally Posted by Strange Brew

I don’t know the right age at which a kid should have a phone, and I’m sure it’s different for every one.

But yeah it would be a hard no from me if they still think that thing is coming from Santa.

"Santa's presents" are like stocking stuffers and small things. No imaginary figure is taking credit for the big stuff.

Originally Posted by WinnipegFan

This is exactly what I will do and the fight has started with my 9 year old. He has asked Santa for an iPhone 17, I told him I called Santa and said "nope." He is pretty pissed but this is a hill I will die on.

As an educator and counsellor I have seen, first hand, the impact of social media on kids. I highly recommend people read The Anxious Generation as it highlights why we need to take phones away from kids. Many, many schools are moving this way, and I will be petitioning mine to do the same.

It is not a tool we need to teach them how to use, it is a drug we need to rip out of their hands, deal with the withdrawal, and move forward. The Frankfurt International School has some great active research on this. The phones can be replaced by real life board games, and card games at breaks and lunches with massive impact.

One of the first steps that helps a lot is identifying that it's not the phone that's the issue, it's what is on the phone/what the phone is used to access.

TBH, my son wants to bring a tablet to school to watch videos and such at before and afterschool care (eye roll) and we've constantly said no. Even the BAC adults have asked why he doesn't bring one and we tell them to F off.

I told my wife that if I truly must compromise, I'm leaning more towards getting a DS lite with games like Big Brain academy for him to play with instead of a tablet where he can mindlessly consume. At least those train certain skills instead of being pure additive brain rot.

[puffnstuff]

https://www.reuters.com/sustainabili...ge-2025-11-23/

Meta shut down internal research into the mental health effects of Facebook after finding causal evidence that its products harmed users’ mental health, according to unredacted filings in a lawsuit by U.S. school districts against Meta and other social media platforms.

In a 2020 research project code-named “Project Mercury,” Meta scientists worked with survey firm Nielsen to gauge the effect of “deactivating” Facebook, according to Meta documents obtained via discovery. To the company’s disappointment, “people who stopped using Facebook for a week reported lower feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness and social comparison,” internal documents said.

[TheIronMaiden]

Originally Posted by puffnstuff

https://www.reuters.com/sustainabili...ge-2025-11-23/

Meta shut down internal research into the mental health effects of Facebook after finding causal evidence that its products harmed users’ mental health, according to unredacted filings in a lawsuit by U.S. school districts against Meta and other social media platforms.

In a 2020 research project code-named “Project Mercury,” Meta scientists worked with survey firm Nielsen to gauge the effect of “deactivating” Facebook, according to Meta documents obtained via discovery. To the company’s disappointment, “people who stopped using Facebook for a week reported lower feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness and social comparison,” internal documents said.

I would be interested to know if quitting instagram would have a similar effect?

I stopped Facebook in 2018 and it was the best. I have to use it a little to adverstise at work and dread doing it. Facebook sucks

[Monahammer]

Put down my dog on Friday. Before anyone asks, no not the little puppy but my big lab akita cross I have had since he was a puppy 9.5 years ago.
He was my best friend and I miss him a lot. Always there for me no matter what. I was having trouble sleeping over the weekend (for so, so many reasons) and usually he comes over to my side of the bed when he hears me tossing and turning to check on me. I dangled my hand over the side and felt around for him before I remembered.

It is tempting to say that this has been the worst year of my life. So far, I guess. And part of me desperately wants to think that things will just get better in a month when it is over. But I know, deep down, that is impossible. My problems don't care about the calendar date, they're not caused esoterically by the year 2025.

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by DoubleF

One of the first steps that helps a lot is identifying that it's not the phone that's the issue, it's what is on the phone/what the phone is used to access.

It’s not even necessarily the content, it’s what the screen time displaces. Even if phones and the content they access were regulated to be completely benign, it would still be bad for the health and development of kids if they spent 4+ hours a day on them instead of doing stuff outside, learning physical skills, or socializing face-to-face.

[Cowboy89]

Originally Posted by Monahammer

Put down my dog on Friday. Before anyone asks, no not the little puppy but my big lab akita cross I have had since he was a puppy 9.5 years ago.
He was my best friend and I miss him a lot. Always there for me no matter what. I was having trouble sleeping over the weekend (for so, so many reasons) and usually he comes over to my side of the bed when he hears me tossing and turning to check on me. I dangled my hand over the side and felt around for him before I remembered.

It is tempting to say that this has been the worst year of my life. So far, I guess. And part of me desperately wants to think that things will just get better in a month when it is over. But I know, deep down, that is impossible. My problems don't care about the calendar date, they're not caused esoterically by the year 2025.

Sorry for your loss. The deepest losses sometimes are the pets that are always there when life gets tough, as one constant amongst a sea of life challenges and changes. There might still be a billboard on Centre street North from a dog groomer that says 'When all else fails, pet your dog.' I'm sad for you that you no longer have that one comfort.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by jayswin

But what does making them earn it have to do with the phone itself being detrimental to their development? Seems like an unrelated "back min my day" rant, lol.

It's a way to set an age limit though, it pretty much means your kid will be 16 or 17 before they get a phone, they will take better care of it as well because they paid for it, once my kid got her phone I agreed I would pay the 30 bucks a month for service if she was going to school as a reward for that (this is an adopted kid who had never been made to go to school and so school attendance was always a struggle for her) it is also a great motivator for a kid to get a job, which I think does more for them than school by a country mile

[Icantwhisper]

Originally Posted by TheIronMaiden

I would be interested to know if quitting instagram would have a similar effect?

I stopped Facebook in 2018 and it was the best. I have to use it a little to adverstise at work and dread doing it. Facebook sucks

I think there is little to no doubt that quitting Instagram would have the same effect.
It's all marketing and selling you a life that isn't realistic other than the racism and random murder videos that pop up.

To think otherwise you'd have to believe that a company whose only goal is to squeeze as much value out of it's market as possible, would have your best interest at heart. I find that unlikely.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by Icantwhisper

I think there is little to no doubt that quitting Instagram would have the same effect.
It's all marketing and selling you a life that isn't realistic other than the racism and random murder videos that pop up.

To think otherwise you'd have to believe that a company whose only goal is to squeeze as much value out of it's market as possible, would have your best interest at heart. I find that unlikely.

Ya, these guys?

Meta shut down internal research into the mental health effects of Facebook after finding causal evidence that its products harmed users’ mental health, according to unredacted filings in a lawsuit by U.S. school districts against Meta and other social media platforms.

In a 2020 research project code-named “Project Mercury,” Meta (META.O), opens new tab scientists worked with survey firm Nielsen to gauge the effect of “deactivating” Facebook, according to Meta documents obtained via discovery. To the company’s disappointment, “people who stopped using Facebook for a week reported lower feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness and social comparison,” internal documents said.

Rather than publishing those findings or pursuing additional research, the filing states, Meta called off further work and internally declared that the negative study findings were tainted by the “existing media narrative” around the company.

https://www.reuters.com/sustainabili...ge-2025-11-23/

Very unlikely. Nice they did the research to prove it, though.

[WinnipegFan]

Originally Posted by DoubleF

"Santa's presents" are like stocking stuffers and small things. No imaginary figure is taking credit for the big stuff.



One of the first steps that helps a lot is identifying that it's not the phone that's the issue, it's what is on the phone/what the phone is used to access.

TBH, my son wants to bring a tablet to school to watch videos and such at before and afterschool care (eye roll) and we've constantly said no. Even the BAC adults have asked why he doesn't bring one and we tell them to F off.

I told my wife that if I truly must compromise, I'm leaning more towards getting a DS lite with games like Big Brain academy for him to play with instead of a tablet where he can mindlessly consume. At least those train certain skills instead of being pure additive brain rot.

I'd say get hime something like a beyblade set or anything the kids can play with together while waiting. We brought them into my school along with some basic toys. I can honestly say my middle schoolers never look at a device at lunch or snack time anymore and we provide them with brand new ipads for learning but we heavily monitor them and spot scan them with IT for any social media.

[WinnipegFan]

Every time my kid asks for a phone I offer him a flip phone that is just a phone. He rolls his eyes and doesn't want it. So I told him he doesn't want a phone. It is slowly working he has shifted his view on Brain Rot and Roblox. He is coming around, we play games and read instead. He is 9, I know this is a sweet spot right now, but I will keep fighting it. Now if I could only delete youtube.

This is a great interview to watch regarding Roblox:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpIXRgMlPo4

Not sure how to make this link clickable in here but the CEO od Roblox is a ######bag.

[DoubleF]

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

It’s not even necessarily the content, it’s what the screen time displaces. Even if phones and the content they access were regulated to be completely benign, it would still be bad for the health and development of kids if they spent 4+ hours a day on them instead of doing stuff outside, learning physical skills, or socializing face-to-face.

I wish it were that simple. He's limited to 60-90 mins a day. He does other activities voraciously. He's as smart if not smarter than many kids 2-3 years older than him. Enjoys playing with older kids and learning stuff. Didn't like kids his age because they're not as engaging in his opinion.

He's not anti social or lacking a childhood. He just has problems understanding what to do with silence, stillness and darkness and I have no clue how else I can help with that without being a high functioning coke addict or something.

Originally Posted by WinnipegFan

I'd say get hime something like a beyblade set or anything the kids can play with together while waiting. We brought them into my school along with some basic toys. I can honestly say my middle schoolers never look at a device at lunch or snack time anymore and we provide them with brand new ipads for learning but we heavily monitor them and spot scan them with IT for any social media.

He has beyblades, Bakugan, Uno, monopoly deal, board games, lego, activity books, origami etc. He does have fun with other kids, but it ultimately doesn't grip them like an addictive social media does.

He's really into books, he's started to be interested in chess, he likes helping with meals/chores and solving or creating things, arguing with Siri or Alexa... but once he's tired or done the task, he really wants to watch stuff.

80-90% of kids at BAC have a device. He says they often run out of patience doing the activities so they end up watching on their devices, so my son watches their devices with them.

I don't really blame him, but I'm also at a loss how to approach this. I'll put it this way. He's in grade two and I'm assuming I'm probably only a few months away from him graduating from reading pokemon graphic novels, to him reading my Calvin and hobbes books.

I have a bunch of ideas on things that I could do with him probably when he's 9-10 ish, but at age 7, I've run out of ideas that are at his capabilities. He has no clue what to do with silence and boredom. He's also too smart for kids his age, but not yet smart enough for some activities I want to do.