Random Thought Thread v2

[ozzy]

Originally Posted by Wormius

Moen and Delta cartridges are free, btw.

Kohler are not free and more difficult to install

[Sliver]

Kind of want this question buried a bit, but here goes. I know somebody with bad teeth (not in a 'I need orthodontics' way, but in a 'I haven't been to the dentist before' way).

I think the problem could be one (or more) of a few things:
1. Difficult to afford.
2. Probably wasn't taught about oral hygiene.
3. May be anxious about going to the dentist.

I'm concerned the problem is just going to get worse for this person and limit life opportunities. Early 30s now. Is there a way to offer to help them go to, like, sedation dentistry or something without offending/embarrassing this person to the point where the offer is outweighed by the audacity to butt in where I don't belong? And by offer to help, I mean I'd pay for them to get this taken care of.

[CroFlames]

Depends on your relationship with the person obviously.

It would likely be very offensive if it was anyone less than a good buddy or close relative.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Kind of want this question buried a bit, but here goes. I know somebody with bad teeth (not in a 'I need orthodontics' way, but in a 'I haven't been to the dentist before' way).

I think the problem could be one (or more) of a few things:
1. Difficult to afford.
2. Probably wasn't taught about oral hygiene.
3. May be anxious about going to the dentist.

I'm concerned the problem is just going to get worse for this person and limit life opportunities. Early 30s now. Is there a way to offer to help them go to, like, sedation dentistry or something without offending/embarrassing this person to the point where the offer is outweighed by the audacity to butt in where I don't belong? And by offer to help, I mean I'd pay for them to get this taken care of.

Have you considered investing in a nitrous tank and some pliers?

Maybe a decent chair and some bungee cords too.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Depends on your relationship with the person obviously.

It would likely be very offensive if it was anyone less than a good buddy or close relative.

I get that it is offensive, of course, but does the benefit outweigh the offense caused? Like, I'd think it would be more embarrassing to go around with teeth that are very visibly not white anymore to everyone, versus one difficult conversation with me. Not a close relative or good buddy, but maybe more like a relationship as though I'm an older cousin that kind of looks out for this person who has had more than a few hard knocks and grew up in a difficult situation.

[Bonded]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Kind of want this question buried a bit, but here goes. I know somebody with bad teeth (not in a 'I need orthodontics' way, but in a 'I haven't been to the dentist before' way).

I think the problem could be one (or more) of a few things:
1. Difficult to afford.
2. Probably wasn't taught about oral hygiene.
3. May be anxious about going to the dentist.

I'm concerned the problem is just going to get worse for this person and limit life opportunities. Early 30s now. Is there a way to offer to help them go to, like, sedation dentistry or something without offending/embarrassing this person to the point where the offer is outweighed by the audacity to butt in where I don't belong? And by offer to help, I mean I'd pay for them to get this taken care of.

That is a tough one! It is an even more sensitive version of the body odour dilemma.

You could open with the I just went the dentist the other day and see if they pipe up that they hate the dentist or that they have been meaning to go. I find people who hate or are scared of the dentist offer that pretty quickly when you bring it up..

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Bonded

That is a tough one! It is an even more sensitive version of the body odour dilemma.

You could open with the I just went the dentist the other day and see if they pipe up that they hate the dentist or that they have been meaning to go. I find people who hate or are scared of the dentist offer that pretty quickly when you being it up..

That's a good idea.

If they're anxious about the dentist, maybe I should try the sedation route (always just been to the normal dentist). I could sing the praises of how easy that is and maybe pretend the guy gave me a free voucher to give to a friend or something? I could then set it up so the charge goes to me.

[ken0042]

Maybe a soft question like asking them something like:
"Hey- I was listening to the radio and I was wondering if you know anybody who has tried those sedation dentistry places."

If you act as if you are considering them but are asking for feedback, you may get the answer as to why they don't go to the dentist.

[Fuzz]

Do you know a relative or other close person to this dental abomination? Perhaps it would be wise to ask them about it, in case it's a bit of an emotional issue.

[OutOfTheCube]

There's an older guy at my work who clearly doesn't ever go to the dentist and it encouraged me to go get a crown re-done that I'd been putting off.

[GordonBlue]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Kind of want this question buried a bit, but here goes. I know somebody with bad teeth (not in a 'I need orthodontics' way, but in a 'I haven't been to the dentist before' way).

I think the problem could be one (or more) of a few things:
1. Difficult to afford.
2. Probably wasn't taught about oral hygiene.
3. May be anxious about going to the dentist.

I'm concerned the problem is just going to get worse for this person and limit life opportunities. Early 30s now. Is there a way to offer to help them go to, like, sedation dentistry or something without offending/embarrassing this person to the point where the offer is outweighed by the audacity to butt in where I don't belong? And by offer to help, I mean I'd pay for them to get this taken care of.

If you were in Edmonton, I could send info about how it could be done, and for free, too.
I can't help with Calgary, though.

[TheIronMaiden]

Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube

There's an older guy at my work who clearly doesn't ever go to the dentist and it encouraged me to go get a crown re-done that I'd been putting off.

I went to the dentist for the 1st time in 3 years after having to benefits. It was amazing. It's like being a brand new person. there aint no food I can't eat.

[MoneyGuy]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Kind of want this question buried a bit, but here goes. I know somebody with bad teeth (not in a 'I need orthodontics' way, but in a 'I haven't been to the dentist before' way).

I think the problem could be one (or more) of a few things:
1. Difficult to afford.
2. Probably wasn't taught about oral hygiene.
3. May be anxious about going to the dentist.

I'm concerned the problem is just going to get worse for this person and limit life opportunities. Early 30s now. Is there a way to offer to help them go to, like, sedation dentistry or something without offending/embarrassing this person to the point where the offer is outweighed by the audacity to butt in where I don't belong? And by offer to help, I mean I'd pay for them to get this taken care of.

My brother was terrified of dentists so never went. As an older adult he’s had all of his teeth extracted and doesn’t need dental work now because his mouth is full of false teeth. It’s sad. I don’t know what to advise except to say it’s important, which you know.

[RichieRich]

Originally Posted by TheIronMaiden

http://www.fairsfair.com/ in inglewood , kinda over priced, but a broad selection, lots on the shelf.

If you're looking for something specific Abe books has a network that buys and sells rare books. I think it is mostly online though some of the dealers will meet you in person.

The Inglewood Fairsfair is very large and well organized and has some very helpful people. There’s another used book place in Inglewood - can’t recall the name, but I found some good stuff there too. Plus it’s Inglewood so interesting people watching and easy to spend money on eats and drinks.

[MoneyGuy]

If you’re ever in Penticton they have the world’s best used-book store. It’s like two bays packed to the ceiling then imagine a warehouse that pretty much doubles the stock.

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by ken0042

Maybe a soft question like asking them something like:
"Hey- I was listening to the radio and I was wondering if you know anybody who has tried those sedation dentistry places."

If you act as if you are considering them but are asking for feedback, you may get the answer as to why they don't go to the dentist.

Nope, wrong. This stuff never works with adults. No matter how much you think you can outwit someone into "subtle/manipulative" ways of mentioning something it doesn't actually ever come off that way. Even if they're too kind/passive to tell you that they know what you're saying.

The guy has bad teeth, he'll know the first second Sliver mentions bad teeth what he's actually saying, if Sliver is trying to bring it up in some clever "I'm wondering about sedation dentistry (despite Sliver...I'm assuming having great teeth) way. Not everyone is a mensa candidate but the problem with intelligent people is not understanding that the difference between a really smart adult and a less smart adult is not that significant in terms of basic social cues/conversation (In fact a lot of smarter/richer (aka more successful) people actually really struggle with social conventions/conversation/picking up on social cues/manipulative attempts etc) .

If you're going to say what you want to say, just be an adult and say it fully, and in private. Somebody with really bad teeth being asked if they've considered anything to do with teeth because the person asking was "thinking of it themselves" is like trying that on a child. And even most children would know what's happening.

[jayswin]

Also, I don't know how wealthy you are, but your suggestion about paying for them to get to where they need to be likely entails $2500 minimum in "first time in years" checkups, xrays, cavity and other work, plus $8000 for proper Invisalign work from an orthodontist. If they have standard work benefits knock maybe $2-$2500 off.

I mean, if you can afford over $10k for a friend because you feel bad for how he looks, all the power to you. (And yes, I realize you may very well be affluent enough to do that for a friend).

[butterfly]

Originally Posted by MoneyGuy

If you’re ever in Penticton they have the world’s best used-book store. It’s like two bays packed to the ceiling then imagine a warehouse that pretty much doubles the stock.

World's best? Powell's. Portland. Go for days!

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by jayswin

Also, I don't know how wealthy you are, but your suggestion about paying for them to get to where they need to be likely entails $2500 minimum in "first time in years" checkups, xrays, cavity and other work, plus $8000 for proper Invisalign work from an orthodontist. If they have standard work benefits knock maybe $2-$2500 off.

I mean, if you can afford over $10k for a friend because you feel bad for how he looks, all the power to you. (And yes, I realize you may very well be affluent enough to do that for a friend).

I understand the cost. It's not like it would be a nothing for me, but if I can find a way to do this I would be happy to pay because I think the cost to their life by not doing it will be far more substantial than the cost to my life to do it. You can't save everyone and all that, but in this case it's a person who has been handed every difficult hand a person can be handed and the dental issue is almost the physical/visual representation of a good person getting a raw deal. I would pay to make that go away for them.

You're right about trying to 'trick' them, though. They'll see through it. I'm honestly not sure that - barring them actually asking me for help - there is a way to do this that won't crush them. Maybe I'll have to wait for teeth to start falling out and then offer to assist.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I understand the cost. It's not like it would be a nothing for me, but if I can find a way to do this I would be happy to pay because I think the cost to their life by not doing it will be far more substantial than the cost to my life to do it. You can't save everyone and all that, but in this case it's a person who has been handed every difficult hand a person can be handed and the dental issue is almost the physical/visual representation of a good person getting a raw deal. I would pay to make that go away for them.

You're right about trying to 'trick' them, though. They'll see through it. I'm honestly not sure that - barring them actually asking me for help - there is a way to do this that won't crush them. Maybe I'll have to wait for teeth to start falling out and then offer to assist.

I’d say you have to be really careful with this, because it’s probably a few factors. Yeah, the money is probably a huge one. But then the poor guy has the physical embarrassment of being at the dentist and explaining to someone that he’s never been (or hasn’t in however long), and that’s not going to be fun for him either. Then you have a friend paying the freight, which is likely a huge source of embarrassment for the guy.

It’s not that it’s not coming from the right place or the right reasons, but there’s likely a lot of shame in a situation like this. I don’t have a solution to offer, but like I say, I’d just be really careful about how to handle it.