Help me with payback for the wife!

[Resolute 14]

Get her a Dairy Queen blizzard and get them to mix some onions in with it.

The look on her face as she takes a bite will be priceless.

[Jayems]

Originally Posted by @theCBE

funnel was tucked into her pants... so the water will go right into her crotch

ah-ha!

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by Frank the Tank

Not bad, not bad. She's afraid of spiders, so I might have to do something with that. She likes a glass of wine after work, so I was thinking of a plastic spider in her wine bottle. What do you guys think?

well, red or white wine?...when I was bartending if one of the waitresses was sitting down after work and having a glass I would doctor it up a little.

Red wine got the obligatory spicing up with Tobasco

and white got some Vinegar or other harmless clear chemical that tasted like hell

next time you leave for the weekend put Rice Krispies in the bed or suggest she make something she has to use out of a can and peel all the labels off (note" this trick only works if you have minimal amounts of cans in the house...otherwise it just ****es you off as well)

don't wuss out with the plastic spider, go big or go home and put a big hairy thing in there

[Ironhorse]

How about trying this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOtgOtokCVU

[Language]

Originally Posted by Ironhorse

How about trying this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOtgOtokCVU

HAHAHAHA!!

I have to admit, that had me laughing pretty damn hard, but that was a pretty cruel thing to do. That would REALLY freak someone out bad! I bet that guy didn't get any action for a long time after that.

[Clarkey]

Originally Posted by leonk19

HAHAHAHA!!

I have to admit, that had me laughing pretty damn hard, but that was a pretty cruel thing to do. That would REALLY freak someone out bad! I bet that guy didn't get any action for a long time after that.

He's into star wars, he probably wasn't getting any before.

[AFireInside]

When I was bartender we used to use a trick on people. When a buddy would order a drink that was dark such as a rum and coke. We would take a shot class fill it with tobasco, (alternately a mixture of water and salt, preferrably a mixture that is more salt than water so its nice and thick) we would then saranwrap the top of the shot glass so it was sealed,drop it in the glass and pour the drink (leaving out the alcohol of course). The coke would make it difficult to notice the shot glass. You then take the straw and jam it into the shot class, so their first sip is pure tobasco or salt water...


To do this at home, just wait until you have some fast food, and she has a cup she can't see into.. When she leaves it, make sure you have the shot ready, or if her cup is half empty you can use a styrofoam cup, as long as its rim is above her drink level.. Works best if you can find a little plastic type shot glass as they are lighter and harder to notice.. Little plastic dipping sauce cups from fast food place work well too..

When we did it with salt water to a guy at work he immediately ran out of the shop and threw up...

[ricosuave]

i saw a prank on afv that was funny, a candy apple eating contest, but the apples were replaced with onions

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by AFireInside

When I was bartender we used to use a trick on people. When a buddy would order a drink that was dark such as a rum and coke. We would take a shot class fill it with tobasco, (alternately a mixture of water and salt, preferrably a mixture that is more salt than water so its nice and thick) we would then saranwrap the top of the shot glass so it was sealed,drop it in the glass and pour the drink (leaving out the alcohol of course). The coke would make it difficult to notice the shot glass. You then take the straw and jam it into the shot class, so their first sip is pure tobasco or salt water...


To do this at home, just wait until you have some fast food, and she has a cup she can't see into.. When she leaves it, make sure you have the shot ready, or if her cup is half empty you can use a styrofoam cup, as long as its rim is above her drink level.. Works best if you can find a little plastic type shot glass as they are lighter and harder to notice.. Little plastic dipping sauce cups from fast food place work well too..

When we did it with salt water to a guy at work he immediately ran out of the shop and threw up...

or you could just fill the straw with something sick and put it in the glass so the first sip is nothing but grossness

[AFireInside]

Originally Posted by return to the red

or you could just fill the straw with something sick and put it in the glass so the first sip is nothing but grossness

Only problem with that is that more than likely the grossness will leak out into the glass. Plus filling a straw would be messy..

[Rhettzky]

Make her a feces milkshake and slash her tires. I'm sure after all is said and done you'll both have a good laugh about it some day.

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by Rhettzky

Make her a feces milkshake and slash her tires. I'm sure after all is said and done you'll both have a good laugh about it some day.

don't forget to yell out " I got you Good, F***er"

[White Doors]

Put some pepper in a straw, bend the end and carefully inssert end of straw into sleeping wife's nose (or just near it) then blow it up her nose.

****s and giggles.

[SpitFire40]

Originally Posted by Clarkey

He's into star wars, he probably wasn't getting any before.

The whole world is into Star Wars... This ain't star trek we're talking about.

[Jetsfan]

Lift the toilet seat. Place a layer of clear saran wrap over the bowl. put the toilet seat back down.

[SpitFire40]

Mayo in the conditioner bottle.

[SaskaBushFire]

Video tape yourself kicking puppies and make her watch it over and over again.

Nothing makes me feel more like a man than kicking a defenseless puppy.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by SpitFire40

The whole world is into Star Wars... This ain't star trek we're talking about.

speak for yourself, nerdlinger.

[Frank the Tank]

OK guys, I had an opportunity arise and I had to seize the moment. I'll use some of your suggestions as ammo in our continuing war, as I have now officially fired the first shot in what is going to be an epic battle.

The wife is going to Toronto for the weekend to meet up with a friend and have a party weekend. Well, she asked me to download some songs (gave me a list) and update her ipod for her. This ticks me off to no end because she can do it herself, she just refuses to learn how thus forcing me to do it for her.

She now has every Flames podcast downloaded and one song. Achy Breaky Heart. Oh I am so dead....

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Originally Posted by Frank the Tank

OK guys, I had an opportunity arise and I had to seize the moment. I'll use some of your suggestions as ammo in our continuing war, as I have now officially fired the first shot in what is going to be an epic battle.

The wife is going to Toronto for the weekend to meet up with a friend and have a party weekend. Well, she asked me to download some songs (gave me a list) and update her ipod for her. This ticks me off to no end because she can do it herself, she just refuses to learn how thus forcing me to do it for her.

She now has every Flames podcast downloaded and one song. Achy Breaky Heart. Oh I am so dead....

Not a bad attempt but poor timing.

Wife that's too good for you + Party weekend in TO with friends + ****ing her off = wife looking to upgrade the man in her life

Anyways, here's what I would have done in response to her request. I'd take each and every song on her list, make a copy of each on where after 10-20 seconds it would transition into Achy Breaky Heart.

With the Flames podcasts, she's going to see you are after payback. With my idea, she's going to listen to a couple of songs before she catches on and she's unsuspecting until she starts listening.