Help me with payback for the wife!

[Regulator75]

Line her panties with some itching powder.

[Sylvanfan]

Put Tiger balm on the inside cups of the bra she plans to wear the next day.

[Burninator]

Put powdered sugar (or something similar) in her hair dryer. So when she gets out of the shower and turns on her hair dryer it all sticks to her and hilarity ensues.

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Did you try hitting her?

Disclaimer: Spousal abuse isn't funny. Not one bit. Unless it is suggested in a very timid and unsure voice, as this line would have been deliverd had it been a real conversation. However due to the limitaitons of the interweb, you'll just have to assume that the delivery would have made this horrible suggestion quite funny.

[ken0042]

- Take a small piece of thin wire (like by taking the paper off a twist tie.) Tie two parts of the loop of the phone, so that when she goes to answer the phone she only ends up with about 4 inches of cord, and ends up yanking the phone along with her.

- Tape down the phone receiver so when she picks it up it continues to ring.

- Change all of her internet favourites to gay porn sites.
(Fotze can get you a list.)

- Radio full blast and wipers on when she starts the car. (Confuses her long enough for the radio to be really anoying.)

- Take her favourite CD out of the car, put in a burned CD that has 15 tracks, all of them the HNIC theme song.

That's all I got for now.

[fanforever1986]

Ummm this is sounding like April Fools day ideas, not a prank in an escalading 'war of fun'.

IMO, your next move should be over the top, just to ensure she doesn't try to one up you.

Here's a few tips from my experience...

Tips:
- they hate getting things in their hair, a lot. Oatmeal is very satisfying to watch them get out.
- Typically, girls aren't morning people. So keep your pranks to the afternoon/evening to ensure it's done and the result can eventually be laughed about.
- DO NOT let up in the middle of a prank. It makes you look inferior, and more importantly, scared.


Now go out and buy the biggest, ugliest lizard you can find and make its cage your bedroom.

...Or rig an oatmeal trap.

[Flashpoint]

What is she afraid of? Spiders? Snakes? Mice? Enclosed spaces? You must capitalize on her fears, and be sure to videotape it before putting on the internets...

[Ironhorse]

Um, just make sure it doesn't turn into "War of the Roses".....

[InSutterWeTrust]

Hide all the toilet paper in the house and purposley only leave like 2 sheets left on the roll

[Madman]

You could use a classic camp trick - saran wrap the toilet after she goes to bed. Just make sure you get out of bed and hide if she get up to go pee.

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by fotze

How about next time she does it, cry and storm out of the house and don't come back for a long time (hours). Make her think she went too far.

I gotta go with this one. Let her think she's caused you emotional harm and she will do all the work for you through guilt.

[Iowa_Flames_Fan]

Offer her a nice ice cream sundae as a peace offering--only instead of caramel sauce, use honey mustard.

Make a normal one for yourself, so you can keep eating as if nothing were wrong.

[Lanny_MacDonald]

I think the answer is obvious. Just have sex with her Frank. That should be punishment enough.

[Rhettzky]

http://www.break.com/index/drop_a_qu...he_funnel.html

Try this one, I know some of my co-workers will be.

[White Doors]

Take a dump and don't flush

[Frank the Tank]

Originally Posted by Lanny_MacDonald

I think the answer is obvious. Just have sex with her Frank. That should be punishment enough.

Ha! That made me laugh out loud.

[Frank the Tank]

Originally Posted by Reaper

I gotta go with this one. Let her think she's caused you emotional harm and she will do all the work for you through guilt.

She knows me too well, she'd see right through that.

[Frank the Tank]

Originally Posted by Iowa_Flames_Fan

Offer her a nice ice cream sundae as a peace offering--only instead of caramel sauce, use honey mustard.

Make a normal one for yourself, so you can keep eating as if nothing were wrong.

Not bad, not bad. She's afraid of spiders, so I might have to do something with that. She likes a glass of wine after work, so I was thinking of a plastic spider in her wine bottle. What do you guys think?

[Regulator75]

Originally Posted by White Doors

Take a dump and don't flush

Better yet, leave her an upper decker.

Take a cronk in the top portion of the toilet, then when she flushes all the crap comes into the bowl.

[FlamesKickAss]

Originally Posted by Rhettzky

http://www.break.com/index/drop_a_qu...he_funnel.html

Try this one, I know some of my co-workers will be.

o man thats a good one