I found myself behind a young woman on the +15 going to the game the other day, she was wearing leggings that didn't leave much to the imagination.
All I could think is "Don't look, don't look, don't look. Ok quick one. Don't look, don't look" for like 15 minutes down the walkway. It consumed my entire thought process.
It's almost impossible. This is how we are wired. It's how we survive as a species, by being attracted to each other. Is it really some type of grand revelation that a heterosexual man is going to have a difficult time resisting the urge to look at a woman he deems attractive, especially if she's wearing clothing that essentially give us a clear image of what she would look like naked?
It's not like it only goes one way. if I wear pants that I consider to be even a little bit snug I get looks. Yeah, we notice too ladies. We're not the only horny pigs in the world.
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Yoga pants, Leggings, those shiny pants girls wear to the club that look like rubber but they aren't. All of it, except for Jeggings, just say no to Jeggings.
no no, it's like thick lycra or something like that. Leather pants? Sometimes yeah but there's a price people pay for wearing leather pants. Super sweatyness from testimonials I've heard in conversation.
...the over sexualization of our youth is a big issue.
This has me curious.
As a life-long Evangelical Christian I am well aware with what this means and how it plays out, and at the heart of it is a fundamental distrust and practical revulsion for normal, human sexuality. However, to the conservative Christian, this is misconstrued as protection of the sacredness of human sexuality. Because sex is a sacrament, it is carefully constrained and controlled within the strictures of religious regulations. At the heart of it is the suspicion that as fantastic as sex is, it is also something terribly dangerous.
Growing up as an Evangelical, I don't think there is a single thing for which I suffered more angst than the ongoing, relentless impossibility of keeping my own lust and sexual curiosity in check. I was constantly reminded about the supreme sacredness of sex in church, and then constantly overwhelmed by a barrage of internalised failures for my inability to restrain my very active imagination. In my experience the "over sexualisation" of youth was a product of my own guilt, for my own inability to repress my very natural attraction. It was an agonising cycle of desire and self-loathing.
This was (and I believe it still is) compounded in my religious circle by the added unreasonable responsibility that was foisted upon me to "protect" the virtue of my future, ambivalent spouse, who would surely suffer for my premarital foundering. The success and satisfaction of my yet-to-be realised lifelong partnership to my wife was utterly dependant upon my mastery of my own adolescent desire.
The good news is that I got over it. But I often wonder about the social conditions behind my experience as they compare to others from vastly different upbringings. As I said, the anxiety I grew up with was part of the expectation that sex was SO dangerous that any missteps had the potential to ruin not just my life, but the lives of those who I love.
The "over sexualisation of our youth" is a perpetuation of this same fear, but how rational is this fear?
Is adolescent sex dangerous? In every circumstance? Does it produce long-term consequences for anyone but those who grew to fear it?
I am a firm believer (and I teach my own kids) that sexual experimentation before adulthood(?) is not altogether smart, and is best reserved for a time when they are mature enough to handle the potential consequences. But how much of this is a projection of my own anxieties that I was raised with?
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Originally Posted by woob
"...harem warfare? like all your wives dressup and go paintballing?"
Well I can only speak for Iceland, but pre marital sex is the rule, young people are quite sexually active and we have some pretty low teenage pregnancy rates. Oddly condoms are an issue in Iceland though, we do have some STD issues, and the pregnancy rate is higher than other nordic nations, as having children is a big deal in Iceland, a very family orientated country.
People are just so completely relaxed about sexuality, a standard night out at the bar here is often the opposite of other nations, its normal to go home with a girl after meeting her for the first time in the bar, and then decide the day after if you want to go on a date.
There is slut shaming still here, but nothing like Canada I find, so its not perfect, but I much prefer this relaxed attitude about sex over Canada, and I imagine way better than the repressed US style.
If you educate the kids like we do here, early and honestly, they do just fine. I think a big issue in more conservative areas, nations, is the fear they have of even educating them is a problem.
When you see sex as no big deal, but a healthy, fun, natural part of growing up; while being well educated on the subject from early schooling, then I see no reason to think any teenagers are not "ready" to deal with it. We put on so much baggage in regards to sexuality in Canada and that makes it a bigger deal than it needs to be.
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...When you see sex as no big deal, but a healthy, fun, natural part of growing up; while being well educated on the subject from early schooling, then I see no reason to think any teenagers are not "ready" to deal with it. We put on so much baggage in regards to sexuality in Canada and that makes it a bigger deal than it needs to be.
True enough. But there is unfortunately a wider societal component to factor into consideration here. It will always be much more challenging to promote a healthy, more balanced perspective of sex in a culture of repression.
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Dealing with Everything from Dead Sea Scrolls to Red C Trolls
Quote:
Originally Posted by woob
"...harem warfare? like all your wives dressup and go paintballing?"
True enough. But there is unfortunately a wider societal component to factor into consideration here. It will always be much more challenging to promote a healthy, more balanced perspective of sex in a culture of repression.
But how is it in Norway? I would imagine they are quite similar to Iceland, so in your unique situation with your evangelical upbringing is it clashing with what your kids are experiencing with the culture of the kids in Norway?
I'd argue the conservative Amercian approach to sexuality is more harmful in the long run than the more liberal European attitude. For one you get a much higher teen pregnancy rate because of the refusal in the bible belt to acknowledge that hormonal teenagers will have sex, and refusing to prepare them for that. And when traveling I've seen more than one group of young American guys go nuts when they see their first red light district and get themselves into trouble, while the Europeans I've met on the other hand have been far more relaxed and well adjusted
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But how is it in Norway? I would imagine they are quite similar to Iceland, so in your unique situation with your evangelical upbringing is it clashing with what your kids are experiencing with the culture of the kids in Norway?
Attitudes towards sex are certainly more progressive in Norway than in NA, but in my experience this is still a surprisingly conservative European culture.
As for my kids, it is not really an issue since they are not back home in Canada. I'm still here finishing out my contract (boo!), but my wife moved back with the family to take a job in Burnaby in June. We decided it was probably best for the kids to go back with her, and all three are now back in their local schools in our sleepy little town of Chilliwack.
My youngest two are nine and eleven, so there was a minimal cultural impact for them to affect their conceptualisation of human sexuality. My oldest is sixteen this year, but has always been a really private kid, so if his exposure to a more sexually liberal culture had any impact, I'm not sure I noticed. In any event, most of his friends in Canada are whitebread along with the rest of the neighbourhood. Like I said: despite my interest in cultivating a more liberal attitude towards sex for my kids, I do simultaneously worry about how this serves them within our present context.
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Dealing with Everything from Dead Sea Scrolls to Red C Trolls
Quote:
Originally Posted by woob
"...harem warfare? like all your wives dressup and go paintballing?"
