Relationship advice

[dissentowner]

Originally Posted by lansing pete mcroon

I am presently tyring to decide whether or not to end a 3 year relationship. I just find there isnt the same spark as before and the relationship is really stagnant. I dont really have any grounds to break up so I'm not sure what to do. On one hand I feel like I need to stay with her as she hasn't done anything wrong and we are both involved in each others families, but on the other hand I feel like I could be a lot more happy being single for a while. If I feel this way now in the relationship is it worth continuing? Advice?

Is the love gone? If it is, move on. It is a huge decision though and I know it is a tough one. You would be making a huge change in your life. She may very well be feeling the same way, maybe you should have a serious talk with her and be honest about how you are feeling and see what she says. It sounds to me though that you have already decided that no matter what you would be happier flying solo and if that is the case then don't drag your feet about it and just end it. Man, I am probably not the best person to give relationship advice though given the cluster*bleep* that has been mine.

[Brannigans Law]

Didn't want to create a new thread when this one seems to be on topic for me.

I've been seeing this girl for 2 weeks, we've been long distance for 2 months before she finally came back to Calgary. She's really into me and a really good person. She's cute, sweet, would never cheat and has basically a great personality and good morales/ethics. The thing is she's waaaay far ahead of me in this relationship. She's already wanting to come along on a trip out East to visit friends and family, and I'm pretty sure she's got very strong feelings for me that I just don't yet have for her.


So the question becomes how long do I continue to let things go and allow myself time to develop those feelings... or, will I always be this far behind? Am I being unfair to her and should end it now before I let things get too serious, or, am I just being ridiculous and questioning a good thing? It really concerns me right now because half of her texts are about how much she likes me, and it makes me uncomfortable.

[Northendzone]

^ i'd say if the amount that you "like" her has not increased after a month then it is time to end it. and if her texts are bothering you that much, perhaps you should end it now.

i think when you get older in like, you can figure out within a month or less if a relationship has long term potential

[GreatWhiteEbola]

Originally Posted by Brannigans Law

Didn't want to create a new thread when this one seems to be on topic for me.

I've been seeing this girl for 2 weeks, we've been long distance for 2 months before she finally came back to Calgary. She's really into me and a really good person. She's cute, sweet, would never cheat and has basically a great personality and good morales/ethics. The thing is she's waaaay far ahead of me in this relationship. She's already wanting to come along on a trip out East to visit friends and family, and I'm pretty sure she's got very strong feelings for me that I just don't yet have for her.


So the question becomes how long do I continue to let things go and allow myself time to develop those feelings... or, will I always be this far behind? Am I being unfair to her and should end it now before I let things get too serious, or, am I just being ridiculous and questioning a good thing? It really concerns me right now because half of her texts are about how much she likes me, and it makes me uncomfortable.

What's her head like? What I mean is that; does she stimulate you, intellectually?

[Brannigans Law]

Originally Posted by GreatWhiteEbola

What's her head like? What I mean is that; does she stimulate you, intellectually?

She's intelligent and has a university education but we don't have that kind of relationship, at least not yet from what I can see. Our conversations are never very deep. Everythings pretty light.

[First Lady]

Originally Posted by Brannigans Law

Didn't want to create a new thread when this one seems to be on topic for me.

I've been seeing this girl for 2 weeks, we've been long distance for 2 months before she finally came back to Calgary. She's really into me and a really good person. She's cute, sweet, would never cheat and has basically a great personality and good morales/ethics. The thing is she's waaaay far ahead of me in this relationship. She's already wanting to come along on a trip out East to visit friends and family, and I'm pretty sure she's got very strong feelings for me that I just don't yet have for her.


So the question becomes how long do I continue to let things go and allow myself time to develop those feelings... or, will I always be this far behind? Am I being unfair to her and should end it now before I let things get too serious, or, am I just being ridiculous and questioning a good thing? It really concerns me right now because half of her texts are about how much she likes me, and it makes me uncomfortable.

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[Ozy_Flame]

Move on. She's building up a long-term relationship by planting seeds for meeting the family, friends, travel to meet you, etc. and if you're not into it, you should end it.

There are other great people in this world to date that will go at your pace. I'm of the belief that there is no such thing as "one love". You can meet and love many people over your lifetime.

If your instinct is raising a red flag, don't ignore it.

[DuffMan]

what happened to dissentowers situation, I started at the beginning of this thread and now I am left hanging.

[Itse]

So you think someone is cute, sweet, smart, nice, a good person and you trust her, but you don't know what you feel for her?



First of all, two weeks is nothing. It took me six months to fall for the woman I've been with for the last decade.

Also, sounds like you have a ######bag brain. It's more propable that you're wearing your rose coloured glasses than her actually being that perfect.

Here's my "doctors orders":

First, you basicly want a bigger hormone rush. Cuddle more and make sure you're well rested when you see her. Stress blocks a lot of other emotions. Having a lot of sex propably helps too. Hormones are actually very predictable.

Second, try to balance between not saying something stupid ("I don't really feel that much for you" being the really dumb and propably hurtful thing to say) and being honest about where your at.

Third, relax and always carry condoms.

[Bonded]

Yeah, Dissentower if you lurk by another name PM me so we can finish your story! Left hanging haha

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Brannigans Law

Didn't want to create a new thread when this one seems to be on topic for me.

I've been seeing this girl for 2 weeks, we've been long distance for 2 months before she finally came back to Calgary. She's really into me and a really good person. She's cute, sweet, would never cheat and has basically a great personality and good morales/ethics. The thing is she's waaaay far ahead of me in this relationship. She's already wanting to come along on a trip out East to visit friends and family, and I'm pretty sure she's got very strong feelings for me that I just don't yet have for her.


So the question becomes how long do I continue to let things go and allow myself time to develop those feelings... or, will I always be this far behind? Am I being unfair to her and should end it now before I let things get too serious, or, am I just being ridiculous and questioning a good thing? It really concerns me right now because half of her texts are about how much she likes me, and it makes me uncomfortable.

I would let anal be your deciding factor.

[CaptainCrunch]

Maybe tell her that you're feeling pressured to move this relationship faster then its happening and its making you feel a little uncomfortable.

I mean meeting family and all of that is great, but I don't feel at that point yet.

Then tell her to jump on daddy's lap

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Maybe tell her that you're feeling pressured to move this relationship faster then its happening and its making you feel a little uncomfortable.

I mean meeting family and all of that is great, but I don't feel at that point yet.

Then tell her to jump on daddy's lap

Love CC's posts, great advice followed up with some comedy.

In short I agree with everything CC has said

[Senator Clay Davis]

I'm glad you bumped this thread rather than starting a new one. The original thread was pretty hilarious, and I had never read it, so thanks!

[TheyCallMeBruce]

Tell her you have a confession. Tell her you are poor, a pervert, and unclean. Tell her you sometimes enjoy smelling your own body odor. If she is still into you, then she is a keeper.

[Sainters7]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

Tell her you have a confession. Tell her you are poor, a pervert, and unclean. Tell her you sometimes enjoy smelling your own body odor. If she is still into you, then she is a keeper.

This reminded me of Wayne's advice to Garth about women:
I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be.

Not bad advice, really. And I also missed this thread the first time around and started from page 1. For selfish reasons I'm also curious about how that turned out for Mr. Dissentower.

[The Yen Man]

Originally Posted by Brannigans Law

Didn't want to create a new thread when this one seems to be on topic for me.

I've been seeing this girl for 2 weeks, we've been long distance for 2 months before she finally came back to Calgary. She's really into me and a really good person. She's cute, sweet, would never cheat and has basically a great personality and good morales/ethics. The thing is she's waaaay far ahead of me in this relationship. She's already wanting to come along on a trip out East to visit friends and family, and I'm pretty sure she's got very strong feelings for me that I just don't yet have for her.


So the question becomes how long do I continue to let things go and allow myself time to develop those feelings... or, will I always be this far behind? Am I being unfair to her and should end it now before I let things get too serious, or, am I just being ridiculous and questioning a good thing? It really concerns me right now because half of her texts are about how much she likes me, and it makes me uncomfortable.

I had something similar happen recently. I started dating a girl for about a month. She was a very nice person, and I did initially like the dates. She was far more into the relationship than I was, and after that month, she was already sending me texts about how she's so into me, which made me feel a little uncomfortable and guilty since I didn't really feel the same way. I decided I shouldn't be leading the poor girl on anymore so I ended it. Sometimes it's better to do it early rather than get into a committed relationship and then realize you don't want it.

[Zulu29]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

I would let anal be your deciding factor.

That's an ignorant post.

[Senator Clay Davis]

You gotta like how as this thread gets bumped, dissentowner simultaneously is no longer in the SinBin. It's like some sort of sign.

[Zulu29]

Originally Posted by Senator Clay Davis

You gotta like how as this thread gets bumped, dissentowner simultaneously is no longer in the SinBin. It's like some sort of sign.

What did he get binned for?