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Old 10-17-2012, 10:02 PM   #61
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The lunch/food thieves
That was a most awesome PBJ!
(peanutbutter jam...no double entendre intended)
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:04 PM   #62
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But nothing tastes so good as free food foraged from fridge
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:31 PM   #63
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A few years back, my office was next to a bigger gentleman. Across the hall were some glass doors so I could see him through the reflection. He would sweat often, so he would always take Kleenex and wipe his pits under his shirt about 5 times a day. So gross.

He never knew I could see this.
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:42 PM   #64
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That reminds me, I used to have a guy at work, who occasionally went into our server room due to heat. My office mate once walked in while he was in there and the guy's hand was down the back of his pants and it looked like he was mining for gold or something.
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Old 10-18-2012, 01:14 AM   #65
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In my office is one thermostat and two air outlets.

After five years of periodic freezing and boiling, I recently discovered my thermostat controls one outlet in my office and the single outlets in several nearby offices. The other outlet in my office is controlled by a thermostat in someone else's office and that one also controls several other offices.

And there are other thermostats besides those two.

It's virtually impossible to have a uniform temperature throughout the office space while people sneak in and change temperatures to suit their personal circumstances.

It's like we are part of some alien science project where they're observing how much antagonism we can take before general fighting breaks out.

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This has got to be the funniest post I've read in a long time. Does this mean I have a really dark sense of humor? Cannot stop laughing...
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Old 10-18-2012, 06:30 AM   #66
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But nothing tastes so good as free food foraged from fridge
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Old 10-18-2012, 06:42 AM   #67
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The guy who sits next to me at work farts, has bad breath and sleeps most of the day...

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Old 10-18-2012, 07:07 AM   #68
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My last job had no shortage of neurotic and conniving wack jobs. Frankly, I think I'm a pretty tolerant guy, but engaging in office politics and manipulation of others is something I have no time for at all. The workplace had a lot of good sides but the problems that resulted from people trying to manipulate each other for stupid, selfish aims was poisonous.

Currently, I figure my coworkers think I'm kind of a weirdo because on the first day of working together at lunch I just told them I had no patience for socializing in the office and had no intention of joining them as I see lunch rooms and cafeterias as hives of gossip. I'm otherwise friendly, but I just view my job as a place to work now and not a place to invest myself in personally.
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:46 AM   #69
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My last job had no shortage of neurotic and conniving wack jobs. Frankly, I think I'm a pretty tolerant guy, but engaging in office politics and manipulation of others is something I have no time for at all. The workplace had a lot of good sides but the problems that resulted from people trying to manipulate each other for stupid, selfish aims was poisonous.

Currently, I figure my coworkers think I'm kind of a weirdo because on the first day of working together at lunch I just told them I had no patience for socializing in the office and had no intention of joining them as I see lunch rooms and cafeterias as hives of gossip. I'm otherwise friendly, but I just view my job as a place to work now and not a place to invest myself in personally.
You sound like you would be a riot at parties
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:50 AM   #70
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You sound like you would be a riot at parties
Yeah, that's pretty much how I figure they see me. Works ok for me though as I can keep work me and personal life me totally separate.

I guess I'm a little like a Costanza in that way. I prefer it when my worlds do not collide.
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:09 AM   #71
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Actually, no, he's some sort of southeast asian.

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You didnt say it, but your co-worker is East Indian or Pakistani, isn't he? The sniffling and burping seems to be a cultural thing. It may be worthwhile to let him know he's doing it, because it's possible that he doesn't even realize it.
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:19 AM   #72
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Originally Posted by JohnnyB View Post
My last job had no shortage of neurotic and conniving wack jobs. Frankly, I think I'm a pretty tolerant guy, but engaging in office politics and manipulation of others is something I have no time for at all. The workplace had a lot of good sides but the problems that resulted from people trying to manipulate each other for stupid, selfish aims was poisonous.

Currently, I figure my coworkers think I'm kind of a weirdo because on the first day of working together at lunch I just told them I had no patience for socializing in the office and had no intention of joining them as I see lunch rooms and cafeterias as hives of gossip. I'm otherwise friendly, but I just view my job as a place to work now and not a place to invest myself in personally.
I kind of agree with them.

As much as I don't mind the occasional lunch in my office, it usually turns into me working through it, so the only way I get a real break is if I head to the lunchroom.
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:24 AM   #73
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I had a rather liberal 20 something junior programmer that worked on my team a few years ago. One time during code review she sat so close beside me my right elbow would constantly be hitting/touching her rather large mammaries . She did not say anything after the second and third time but I felt really uncomfortable since my wife and son's picture was on my desk so I moved left. The last time was during one hot summer day in our old building which had a bad AC that struggles to keep cold so it gets rather hot in the afternoon. That day she took off her jacket type top and wore only her white tank top, it was fine until she came into my office and I got a frontal view of her brawless attire. I actually told her nicely that day that she was making me feel awkward. She didn't annoy be but she was quite the character kindof looks like Natalie Portman but a lot more well endowed.
I don't think you get the question.
That sounds fantastic.
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:21 AM   #74
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The AP department who uses the kitchen near my office instead of the one closer to them because they are afraid the HR/Office Manager will see them. Its a constant coffee break parade past my office and different cultural smells from the microwave is enough to drive someone crazy.

1/2 the times I either heat my lunch up at 11.30 to beat the "cultural" rush or walk across the office to the other kitchen.

I am relatively isolated in an "inner" office so I dont get the cube farm issues which I am 100% thankful for.

Oh yah, and people who no matter how many times you tell them "forget" to change their smart phone email password when they change their network password and then complain they are not getting email on their phone IDmf10Ts

Oh yah, the new one is the new marketing person who needed Adobe Web and Design CS6 and then complained that it took over 17 hours to download 5GB from Adobe. You need a $2500 software package and then complain that it takes a long time to download - suck it up buttercup.

One ore, the constant request for Email Distribution group that doesnt conform to company policies. No I am sorry I cannot create DavesReportees@Email.com - I dont know how many times I have to say it but with over 50,000 employees other Dave's might wonder why that group exists (especially if you dont have VP in your title).

Last 1, inter company kingdom builders. The person who takes on all responsibilities and then does none of the work and tries to delegate them to others - I am sorry but that is not in my job scope so no, you will have to get that yourself (the first 3 times ok, but after that I live by the baseball analogy; 3 strikes and you are out.
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:27 AM   #75
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I don't think you get the question.
That sounds fantastic.
Maybe annoying to me because she's flirting with a married father of 2. Why didn't she join my team a couple of years earlier
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:59 AM   #76
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I don't think anybody I currently work with is annoying to me.

Former co-workers however...

One person cooked the stinkiest food for lunch. It stunk up the entire office, and we work in a big office.

One person chatted non-stop. Got her work done but just talked non-stop while she was doing it. After she retired you would see people in her area nodding and going "uh-huh"... nobody was talking they just got into the habit of doing it.

The thermostats in our offices suck. The one that controls my zone is in another zone. So people will change that thermostat, but it doesn't control their zone. Also, since it is in another zone, it thinks it is warmer or cooler than what it is and won't work for our zone. One lady thought it was for her zone and would crank the heat way up in the winter or the a/c way down in the summer. I'd come into my office and my phone would be hot/cold to the touch, depending on the season.
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Old 10-18-2012, 10:00 AM   #77
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Side note, I'm disappointed Ktrain & Russic haven't posted in this thread yet.
Russic is always rubbing his boobs on my elbows.
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Old 10-18-2012, 12:11 PM   #78
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The kitchen is a big pet peeve here. People are just pigs. Bits and pieces of food all over the counters and floor. Crap like paper towels and tea bags in the sink. Dishes left in the sink rather than put into the dishwasher. We have multiple kitchens on our floors so its a small group of people that use each one and not a huge group. Disgusting sometimes. Oh yeah, trails of spilled coffee out of the kitchen and down the hall. Worst part is that these are mostly professionals and few younger than their late 20s.
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Old 10-18-2012, 12:30 PM   #79
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I had a rather liberal 20 something junior programmer that worked on my team a few years ago. One time during code review she sat so close beside me my right elbow would constantly be hitting/touching her rather large mammaries . She did not say anything after the second and third time but I felt really uncomfortable since my wife and son's picture was on my desk so I moved left. The last time was during one hot summer day in our old building which had a bad AC that struggles to keep cold so it gets rather hot in the afternoon. That day she took off her jacket type top and wore only her white tank top, it was fine until she came into my office and I got a frontal view of her brawless attire. I actually told her nicely that day that she was making me feel awkward. She didn't annoy be but she was quite the character kindof looks like Natalie Portman but a lot more well endowed.
I'm going to need a name here for my 'Binder Full of Women'
TIA
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Old 10-18-2012, 01:17 PM   #80
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One fellow I work with vegetarian (or vegan or something) and it always causes issues when we want to bring in food. Always gotta make sure there's some kind of vegetarian options, and then sometimes he takes the initiative and we end up eating tofu garbage. But the main problem is that his dumps smell so fracking weird. I understand that poop stinks, but his are stinky and undefinable.
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