Dumb things that seem to creep into your thoughts

[3 Justin 3]

I wonder what it would be like to cross over into the other lane on my motorcycle.

Driving down the highway going 120 and just swerving into the left lane and going head on with like a Honda Civic. I would go flying.

Then I remember it will hurt like #### so I don't do it.

[keenan87]

There is someone out there who desperately needs my help. That person doesn't know it yet but I am the one person on the planet who can help him.

Jumping from a high building and doing tricks on my way down.

[Wood]

Whenever I see a bird graciously soaring like it's no big deal, I always think "#### you, I wanna fly"

[Violator]

Having the sudden urge to jump out of my vehicle while driving and doing a barrel roll into oncoming traffic and how many of those cars would avoid me and how many cars it would take before i was run over.

For the people that have the fear of cars driving into them while driving

Try driving through the Tunnel in Richmond,BC while the counter flow lane is in effect.

[AC]

I don't typically get any of the violent neuroses mentioned already, but I do occasionally find myself thinking about breaking up with my significant other (who I am emphatically in love with) simply because I can't ever really know what she's thinking / feeling. And it's not a matter of trust either... just a fear of not being in control of the most important aspect of my life I suppose. Hard to explain / comprehend myself.

It's one of those thoughts that once you catch yourself thinking, you go "Seriously brain? What the hell?".

[driveway]

The following will invariably run through my head at some point whenever I'm walking to work:

An alien spacecraft appears on Earth, hovering menacingly above a major city, presumably the city I'm in, although occasionally it will appear over a world capital like London, New York or Washington. The spacecraft does not respond to any attempts to communicate for several days, it simply hovers there not unlike the multiple crafts in Independence Day, but there is only the one.

Eventually, a singal is received, the spacecraft begins to broadcast a series of faces, human faces. There are about twelve people, their faces played over and over again, broadcast on several channels and projected via a kind of hologramatic projector into the air infront of the hovering vessel. The faces seem random, an elderly Asian woman, a young African man, a middle-aged man who appears middle eastern and wears the uniform of an Army, a stunning blonde, and then me.

Over and over these people's faces are broadcast to the world and, within hours reports start piling in that people can identify the faces, one by one the twelve people are identified and brought to the major city over which hovers the spacecraft. We're assembled, twelve people chosen seemingly at random from across the globe and presented to this alien ship. A door opens, or a beam of light, or we simply vanish. Three days pass. The ship remains, the broadcasts stop.

Suddenly we are returned, the door opens again or the beam of light sends us back. We know now what it is we have to do.

We have to represent the human race to a pan-galactic council. Humanity has reached a level of technological development which entitles us to admission to space-faring society, however, it has been demonstrated in the past that simply allowing races into this society, or allowing separate factions to 'bring up' their own races leads to discord, violence, xenophobia and genocide. And so we are to be tested. The consequence for failure, of course, is eradication.

The toll it takes on a biosphere elevating a species to sentience is staggering, but life-bearing planets are rare and precious. If we are found wanting, humanity will be completely decimated that, in millions of years, another race might evolve on Earth to join the great interstellar civilization.

We, the twelve people chosen at random have been given a few weeks to prepare, say our goodbyes and speak to the world. Of the twelve, I am the only native English speaker, leading to a frenzy of media attention, desperate to get to know this person who will be pleading the case of humanity. I have the opportunity to speak to Heads of State, Leaders of Governments, leading minds in the fields of Science and the Arts.

And I decide to grant my first television interview to Fox News. While many people who know me have spoken to the media already, this will be my first appearance, the first time I speak to people in my own words and give them the opportunity to get to know the one person they are culturally similar to who will be going on this incredible journey.

So I get to sit down with a panel of the most conservative, most outspoken members of the Fox News team, Hannity, Coulter, maybe even Palin is sitting there, at my request.

And I take full advantage, letting them know in no uncertain terms that the person who will be pleading their case is a stone-cold Atheist, pinko liberal bleeding heart socialist. I rag on their ideas, religion and viewpoints, laugh at their suggestions and generally make like I'm a complete ass, just to watch their stupid faces.

Then, of course I sail off into the stars, end up romantically involved with the sunning Russian blonde and eloquently plead the case of planet Earth and its denizens to the Galactic Council. We return to great fanfare and I get to rub the success of liberal humanitarian values in the stupid faces of conservatives everywhere.

---------

also, I stack my change according to size in my pocket.

[Coach]

^^^ Sounds like you got a nice little novel on the go there driveway. I'd read it.

[Wood]

Originally Posted by AC

I don't typically get any of the violent neuroses mentioned already, but I do occasionally find myself thinking about breaking up with my significant other (who I am emphatically in love with) simply because I can't ever really know what she's thinking / feeling. And it's not a matter of trust either... just a fear of not being in control of the most important aspect of my life I suppose. Hard to explain / comprehend myself.

It's one of those thoughts that once you catch yourself thinking, you go "Seriously brain? What the hell?".

I do this as well. I guess it's just fear of the unknown. I make up scenarios of things that could possibly happen, but I mostly know never would, and get frustrated.

I never worry cause I know it's just my stupid head, but I do it a lot

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by driveway

The following will invariably run through my head at some point whenever I'm walking to work:

An alien spacecraft appears on Earth, hovering menacingly above a major city, presumably the city I'm in, although occasionally it will appear over a world capital like London, New York or Washington. The spacecraft does not respond to any attempts to communicate for several days, it simply hovers there not unlike the multiple crafts in Independence Day, but there is only the one.

Eventually, a singal is received, the spacecraft begins to broadcast a series of faces, human faces. There are about twelve people, their faces played over and over again, broadcast on several channels and projected via a kind of hologramatic projector into the air infront of the hovering vessel. The faces seem random, an elderly Asian woman, a young African man, a middle-aged man who appears middle eastern and wears the uniform of an Army, a stunning blonde, and then me.

Over and over these people's faces are broadcast to the world and, within hours reports start piling in that people can identify the faces, one by one the twelve people are identified and brought to the major city over which hovers the spacecraft. We're assembled, twelve people chosen seemingly at random from across the globe and presented to this alien ship. A door opens, or a beam of light, or we simply vanish. Three days pass. The ship remains, the broadcasts stop.

Suddenly we are returned, the door opens again or the beam of light sends us back. We know now what it is we have to do.

We have to represent the human race to a pan-galactic council. Humanity has reached a level of technological development which entitles us to admission to space-faring society, however, it has been demonstrated in the past that simply allowing races into this society, or allowing separate factions to 'bring up' their own races leads to discord, violence, xenophobia and genocide. And so we are to be tested. The consequence for failure, of course, is eradication.

The toll it takes on a biosphere elevating a species to sentience is staggering, but life-bearing planets are rare and precious. If we are found wanting, humanity will be completely decimated that, in millions of years, another race might evolve on Earth to join the great interstellar civilization.

We, the twelve people chosen at random have been given a few weeks to prepare, say our goodbyes and speak to the world. Of the twelve, I am the only native English speaker, leading to a frenzy of media attention, desperate to get to know this person who will be pleading the case of humanity. I have the opportunity to speak to Heads of State, Leaders of Governments, leading minds in the fields of Science and the Arts.

And I decide to grant my first television interview to Fox News. While many people who know me have spoken to the media already, this will be my first appearance, the first time I speak to people in my own words and give them the opportunity to get to know the one person they are culturally similar to who will be going on this incredible journey.

So I get to sit down with a panel of the most conservative, most outspoken members of the Fox News team, Hannity, Coulter, maybe even Palin is sitting there, at my request.

And I take full advantage, letting them know in no uncertain terms that the person who will be pleading their case is a stone-cold Atheist, pinko liberal bleeding heart socialist. I rag on their ideas, religion and viewpoints, laugh at their suggestions and generally make like I'm a complete ass, just to watch their stupid faces.

Then, of course I sail off into the stars, end up romantically involved with the sunning Russian blonde and eloquently plead the case of planet Earth and its denizens to the Galactic Council. We return to great fanfare and I get to rub the success of liberal humanitarian values in the stupid faces of conservatives everywhere.

---------

also, I stack my change according to size in my pocket.

More along the line that after your interview with Fox news, you reboard the space ship and to your horror find out that all of the people that you snarked at were actually members of the interstellar society, and they were testing humanities tolerances to people with different ideas. Of course you failed the test by being a jerkface. The Aliens ask one last question and thats "Are human's white meat or dark meat" You of course answer "well both" Thus dooming humanity as the Aliens move a Denny's franchise to earth and start processing human's as a key part of their menu.

The last vision that you have is Ann coulter pulling out your Pancreas, looking at the other aliens and saying "This is the best part" then taking a big bite.

[Stay Golden]

Tapping a Cobra on the head like the dudes in India.

[driveway]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

More along the line that after your interview with Fox news, you reboard the space ship and to your horror find out that all of the people that you snarked at were actually members of the interstellar society, and they were testing humanities tolerances to people with different ideas. Of course you failed the test by being a jerkface. The Aliens ask one last question and thats "Are human's white meat or dark meat" You of course answer "well both" Thus dooming humanity as the Aliens move a Denny's franchise to earth and start processing human's as a key part of their menu.

The last vision that you have is Ann coulter pulling out your Pancreas, looking at the other aliens and saying "This is the best part" then taking a big bite.

Well, yeah, if you want to go for the after-school special "everybody learns a lesson" ending. I think modern audiences are prepared for something a little more complex, don't you?

[rayne008]

Dumb things that creeps into my thoughts..

When I mow my lawn in sandles, thinking of all of the stupid ways i could accidently slip my foot into the blade.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by Lchoy

More so when I was a kid visiting Hong Kong, We stay in one of those tall highrises and I always wanted to throw objects from great heights and watch it fall. Logically, this can be extrememly dangerous as it can cause serious injury and/or damage to whatever the object. However, it's a curiousity that I can't shake, be it throwing a marble, paper airplane, a fork...

I used to think about that all the time when I lived in high rises. Until one day when I was moving out of a ~15 story apartment. It was -40 out (yes, in Winnipeg) and the last thing to move was my bike which was locked to the balcony railing with a U-lock. (Yes, we had thefts from the balconies- once again this was Winnipeg.)

Because it is so cold out I cannot get the key to turn. I ream and ream on it for a few minutes; using both hands to try and turn the now freezing key. Then it happens. <CLICK> The lock releases and the "U" portion is now in a free fall to the sidewalk below. I have a split second to decide- do I yell below to warn somebody? Will that cause somebody to pause and actually get hit when otherwise it would have missed them? Or do I look away and act like I have no idea what happened?

I decide to yell "LOOK OUT BELOW!" I yell that as I approach the railing, and as I look over I see the sidewalk is unusually deserted. I catch the last few feet of the fall and watch it land; followed a split second later with a dull but solid thud.

I run down the stairs to see what happened. Turns out that piece of metal landed rounded edge first; but still managed to imbed itself a good 6 inches into solid ice. I don't know if it would have gone further if the concrete hadn't stopped it.

Now I know what happens; so I'm good.

[Titan]

Originally Posted by fredr123

...
I also have an irrational fear of tripping in a department store and losing an eye on those long metal pegs that display merchandise.

too many torts cases in school and your job.

I still have to wash all new clothes first, whether or not i am going skiing. (Inside lawyer joke, kind of)

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by driveway

Well, yeah, if you want to go for the after-school special "everybody learns a lesson" ending. I think modern audiences are prepared for something a little more complex, don't you?

Not really, I think that most of the really popular movies have shown that humanity has dumbed down to the point of being a food group.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by rayne008

Dumb things that creeps into my thoughts..

When I mow my lawn in sandles, thinking of all of the stupid ways i could accidently slip my foot into the blade.

Okay seriously, you shouldn't mow your lawn in sandals. That's not a dumb thought; it's a smart one. You should listen to it lol.

[Titan]

Originally Posted by Dion

Having to drive back and make sure I closed the garage door. Of course it's always closed but still I always have this strong urge to go back and check. I will sometimes do this with the doors on my house.

This past weekend we drove away on Friday and saw the garage door coming down but the garbage can was in the way and it went back up. We came home Sunday night and realized the door was open all weekend. Not a fun feeling walking into the house.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

I actually know a Dr Nick. And he's a chiropractor so it is extra hilarious. He embraces the "Hi! Dr Nick!" but always makes sure to mention that he's not actually incompetant.

Or a doctor...

[Bunk]

The idea of existence pops into my head every once in a while. The thought that the earth and the universe is literally everything that exists. This makes me scared and want to see my mommy.

Also the thing people mentioned about one little tweak of the steering wheel on a highway ending all for myself and several others.

[Phanuthier]

Dumb things...

I dated a girl back in my undergrad who had D-cup boobs. Every time I walked through one of those scales at a grocery store, I imagined weighing her boobs on one of them.

Also, a friend of friend... ok this is more of a story... lets call him Jim. Jim was in university and about to head to a toga party. Now Jim is a pretty hairy dude, and because he was going to a toga party, he decided to trim his chest hair. Jim was in a bit of a rush, so while doing to landscaping on his chest, he's just cutting away, cutting away... oh... OH! He cuts off his nipple. (As the story goes) he goes "OH BOY... OH BOY... OH BOY..." looking at the nipple sitting on his scissors. He's gushing blood from where his nipple was supposed to be, he's late for the toga party... so, he patches up the area of his missing nipple and puts his nipple in the fridge, and goes to the toga party. While at the party (with a patch over his nipple, and people asking him questions) he gets a call from his roommate. "WHAT THE EFFING EFF IS IN OUR FREEZER?" Jim tells him its his nipple, "WHAT THE EFF IS YOUR NIPPLE DOING IN OUR FREEZER!" So anyways, Jim doesn't have health insurance (American uni... this same guy bought a porsche once by accident, but thats story is for a different time) so he can't afford to go to the hospital to get his nipple reattached.

Guess what happens when you cut off a nipple and you leave it alone? Yes it does grow back. Twice the size too, and darker in colour!

So... I always wonder why would happen if he cut off the other nipple, would it grow back 2x's the size too?

Oh, and less stupid stuff... I always wonder what it would be like to fly. Kind of a dream of mine.