09-27-2010, 12:16 PM
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#2
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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Crowsnest Pass
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Kids In The Hall:
Alien 1: Ready the anal probe
Alien 2: Anal probe is ready.
Alien 1: Commence anal probing.
Alien 2: Quick, erase his memory!
Alien 1: Memory's erased. Get him out of here.
Alien 1: Something wrong?
Alien 2: Ah.. it's nothing really....
Alien 1: I think you could use a cup of coffee.
Alien 2: Yeah.
Alien 1: So what's bothering you?
Alien 2: Ahhhh.... Lately I just keep wondering... what's the point?
Alien 1: The point?
Alien 2: Yeah. What's the point of what we do?
Alien 1: Sorry, I don't follow you
Alien 2: Well, I mean, we travel 250,000 light years across the universe, abduct humans, probe them anally and release them.
Alien 1: Yeah... AND?
Alien 2: Well, doesn't it seem kind of point-LESS?
Alien 1: I really don't think about it.
Alien 2: Well don't you think you should?
Alien 1: No, I don't think I should. I don't think I should question the leadership of our Great Leader
Alien 2: Oh, come on! I mean, we've been coming here for 50 years and performing anal probes and all that we have learned is that 1 in10 doesn't really seem to mind.
Alien 1: Well, do you have a better plan than our Great Leader?
Alien 2: Yes I do, I do have a better plan. My plan is that we DON'T travel 250,000 light years, we DON'T abduct any humans and, this is the best part, we DON'T do any anal probing.
Alien 1: Oh, great plan! Do you realize how many people Intergalactic Anal-Probing employs?
Alien 1: Well back to work.
Alien 2: Awww..
Alien 1: Ready the anal probe.
Alien 2: Anal probe is ready.
Alien 1: Commence anal probing
Alien 2: Couldn't we at least abduct their political or religious leaders instead of just any idiot in a pickup truck?!?!
Alien 1: I'm sure the Great Leader has his reasons
Alien 2: Well, I'm sure the Great Leader is just some sort of twisted ass freak!
Alien 1: All right. I am now officially ignoring you. Commence anal probing.
Last edited by troutman; 09-27-2010 at 12:59 PM.
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09-27-2010, 12:24 PM
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#3
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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Crowsnest Pass
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One of the men, Capt Robert Salas, said: "The US Air Force is lying about the national security implications of unidentified aerial objects at nuclear bases and we can prove it."
UFOs does not equal aliens.
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09-27-2010, 12:27 PM
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#4
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Powerplay Quarterback
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Quote:
Originally Posted by troutman
One of the men, Capt Robert Salas, said: "The US Air Force is lying about the national security implications of unidentified aerial objects at nuclear bases and we can prove it."
UFOs does not equal aliens.
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Totally. I hate questions like "Do you believe in UFOs?". Yes, yes I do.
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09-27-2010, 12:31 PM
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#5
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The new goggles also do nothing.
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Calgary
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__________________
Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position.
But certainty is an absurd one.
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09-27-2010, 12:54 PM
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#6
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Franchise Player
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I saw a program on Friday about the effect of invisible alien wizards on the males of our species. Tough to argue with the facts.
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09-27-2010, 12:56 PM
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#7
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: SW Ontario
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I for one welcome our new alien overlords!
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09-27-2010, 01:01 PM
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#8
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Has Towel, Will Travel
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^^^ You'd be that one in ten demographic then?
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09-27-2010, 01:50 PM
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#9
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Crash and Bang Winger
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If they can "prove" it, then why haven't they already? I mean, it's an issue of national security they say, so what are they waiting for?
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09-27-2010, 02:16 PM
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#10
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Norm!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by comrade
If they can "prove" it, then why haven't they already? I mean, it's an issue of national security they say, so what are they waiting for?
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Two words Comrade, Plausible deniability.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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09-27-2010, 02:57 PM
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#11
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Calgary
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I mean, who's going to really believe you saw an alien spacecraft right? Fox News says it was methane gas refracting light from Venus combined with the effects of the Earth's gravity and polar ice caps melting. Don't argue with Fox News, they are right.
__________________
Pylon on the Edmonton Oilers:
"I am actually more excited for the Oilers game tomorrow than the Flames game. I am praying for multiple jersey tosses. The Oilers are my new favourite team for all the wrong reasons. I hate them so much I love them."
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09-27-2010, 03:16 PM
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#12
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Vernon, BC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IliketoPuck
I mean, who's going to really believe you saw an alien spacecraft right? Fox News says it was methane gas refracting light from Venus combined with the effects of the Earth's gravity and polar ice caps melting. Don't argue with Fox News, they are right.
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Fox news admitted the ice caps are melting??
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09-27-2010, 04:36 PM
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#13
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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First Lady: [ after seeing the Martians for the first time] I'm not allowing that thing in my house.
President Dale: Sweetie, we may have to. The people expect me to meet with them.
First Lady: Well they're not going to eat off the Van Buren china.
__________________
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09-27-2010, 04:44 PM
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#14
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delthefunky
Fox news admitted the ice caps are melting??
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The statement was quickly changed to: "Lindsay Lohan goes back to jail for cocaine use."
I think it was done to keep the Fox News faithful informed on what really matters.
__________________
Pylon on the Edmonton Oilers:
"I am actually more excited for the Oilers game tomorrow than the Flames game. I am praying for multiple jersey tosses. The Oilers are my new favourite team for all the wrong reasons. I hate them so much I love them."
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09-27-2010, 05:35 PM
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#15
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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__________________
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