Nice Guys...She's using you!!!

[missdpuck]

Saying "no" to someone like Tom Brady would be more fun for me than actually sleeping with him. It's the better part of the mind game. But I'm sure I'm in the minority there.

[GreenTeaFrapp]

I really believe that females are hard wired to go after the guys who aren't nice.

As a kid I was horribly behaved. At my first school I was, by far, the worst behaved kid there. Even in grade 1 I was infamous with all the other kids at the school. But the odd thing was that I had tons of girls, even older ones, who would be interested in me. They'd give me hockey cards, marbles and coins just for the occasional kiss or wanting me to be their "boyfriend". I could have cared less about them and was just happy to get free stuff.

Unfortunately by the time high school rolled around and I would have really liked to have that much female attention (and could have taken far better advantage of it), my behaviour was the exact opposite. I never got into trouble (except for occasionally skipping class as I got older) and the female attention was no longer there.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

Every guy needs to learn how to be a jerk early in life. Even if they are faking it. Strange how evolutionary basic instincts fail here - or is that the fault of society making us overly polite and socially self-conscious and passive? I guess part of me would still like the "club and drag back to my cave" mentality.

.

I disagree with the statement in bold. It serves an evolutionary purpose. Basically, guys who are "jerks", tend to be aggressive and demanding. Aggressive and demanding is what gets you resources in the animal world... being "nice" does not. For the purpose of giving offspring the best chance of survival, the male who is resourceful will be more appealing.

Of course, there are ways to be resourceful without being a jerk, but they are usually not the easiest. Therefore, guys who are jerks are probably lacking in other ways and need to make up for it.

[kermitology]

Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz

This is great advice.

Sometimes when I'm sad, I find the easiest thing to do is to just stop being sad, and be awesome instead. Then I suit up, and I feel that much better.

My computers remind me of the power of awesome every day with my wall paper that reads..

Awesomeness: When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

[missdpuck]

For the most part girls are taught to be "nice" and I wonder if being attractedto nasty guys is a way of living vicariously for some. I don't like "bad boys" as far as dating, but part of the reason I find male friends fascinating is that they can get away with things women probably couldn't , and they seem to have so many more options of the sort I would like.

[Pagal4321]

Originally Posted by Frank the Tank

I need to copy this whole thread and send it to my brother.......the perenial "friend zone" male.

And here I thought that name only applied to me.

[Ford Prefect]

This has been a very enlightening thread. Here I always thought I was a nice guy, but I guess I must be a real jerk based on how many women have thrown themselves at me in my life.

[Pagal4321]

Originally Posted by fotze

So that means a bunch of people in this thread have called you spineless and unworthy of female attraction, what do you think of that?

To them I say...."Spot On!!"

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Originally Posted by fotze

That could be, but that could have been around the time you got really ugly, ever think of that possibility? Face kept growing and that once unique, cute face became out of proportion and hideous?

Nah, I've always been hideously ugly.

[Flash Walken]

Originally Posted by troutman

This SNL skit featuring Tom Brady, summarizes this thread very nicely:

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04qfunhouse.phtml

Announcer: See? It can be done. You can have sex with women at work without losing your job, by following a few simple rules:

[ the rules are displayed on-screen with accompanying check marks ]

Be Handsome..

Be Attractive..

and Don't Be Unattractive.

I see your tom brady, and raise you Jon Hamm:

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/08/08fdraper.phtml

Don Draper: And finally, Step 4:

Look fantastic in a suit.

Look fantastic in casual wear.

Look fantastic in anything.

Sound good.

Smell good.

Kiss good.

Strut around with supreme confidence.

Be uncannily successful at your job.

Blow people away every time you say anything.

Take six-hour lunches.

Disappear for weeks at a time.

Lie to everyone about everything.

Drink and smoke constantly.

Basically... be Don Draper.

[ cut to title card ]

Announcer: This has been "Don Draper's Guide to Picking Up Women".

[ fade ]

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by fotze

Could be the donkey dink.

That would be nice, but I don't think so. Not that I'm a wizard or anything like that. Actually, I've always been a bit of an anti-establishment outlaw. Maybe it's a case of the ladies love outlaws. That sounds better than attributing it to being a grade A jerk, so I think I'll go with that.

[missdpuck]

Originally Posted by GreenTeaFrapp

Nah, I've always been hideously ugly.

Why argue.

[Ozy_Flame]

Originally Posted by GreenTeaFrapp

What you call "enamored", I call "getting a good description for the cops".

Cop: "Now Ms., can you please pick out the schlong that threatened you?"

Chick: "It's that one, number 5. Even right now it's as big and intimidating as I remember it."

[Sainters7]

Ahh the ol' nice guys finish last bit, how true it is. Back in the day when I was still a teenager, I definitely hit the "too nice" category way too many times. Maybe some guys automatically know what they're doing, but for the majority(ie guys like me), you kinda learn as you go. Haha I feel bad when I see teenagers now who you can tell have ZERO game and are tryin to get it done, you just know they're gonna be flippin through the Playboys by the end of the night. I definitely remember those days all too well.

Just because "nice guys finish last" doesn't mean you have to be a prick. All it means is have a spine. Girls want a MAN; someone that's confident in themselves, goes for what they want, and can get s*** done. I think the whole nice guys finish last bit goes way back hundreds of thousands of years to basic primitive instinct. I think girls see a "too nice" guy as someone who is never going to go anywhere because he's too spineless to go for what he wants, and thus won't be able to provide for them. Whereas girls may be attracted to pricks because they at least have the balls to go for what they want, therefore they'll be able to provide for you(btw I'm not saying girls need to be provided for in this day and age. I think it's just a primal instinct they have and have always had since the dawn of man).

You don't have to be a prick. Just be yourself, and be confident(even if you're faking). If your girl is being stupid about something, tell her to smarten up. They like it. It shows you've got balls.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by missdpuck

Saying "no" to someone like Tom Brady would be more fun for me than actually sleeping with him. It's the better part of the mind game. But I'm sure I'm in the minority there.

So by your logic, I'm a nobody in the grand scheme of things. Someone who's stunningly average, doesn't have a great deal of power. So it would be more fun to sleep with me then play mind games with me by saying no.

[Resolute 14]

No, she'd probably find it more fun setting you up to think that she'd sleep with you before saying no.

[missdpuck]

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

That would be nice, but I don't think so. Not that I'm a wizard or anything like that. Actually, I've always been a bit of an anti-establishment outlaw. Maybe it's a case of the ladies love outlaws. That sounds better than attributing it to being a grade A jerk, so I think I'll go with that.

Funny all I know of you is from your posts, and the above is what I've pretty much assumed. I think 4x4 seems like that too. Very at ease with himself.

[missdpuck]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

So by your logic, I'm a nobody in the grand scheme of things. Someone who's stunningly average, doesn't have a great deal of power. So it would be more fun to sleep with me then play mind games with me by saying no.

Probably.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Resolute 14

No, she'd probably find it more fun setting you up to think that she'd sleep with you before saying no.

Guess I'm just gonna have to withdrawal then.

[worth]

I was in the exact position the article is describing once. It lasted for maybe 4 months. At the time I thought it was ok, we were like boyfriend/girlfriend but without the sex. I was just biding my time until she would be my girlfriend. Didn't work out that way obviously and I lost it on her once. Best move of my life. I've seen her a couple times since, but I really don't want to be around her at all. I was blinded by her boobs. Looking back , that was a really bad situation to be in. I was taken advantage of for sure.

I love the song "What you are" by Audioslave. Describes it perfectly.

And when you wanted me,
I came to you.
And when you wanted someone else,
I withdrew.
And when you asked for light,
I set myself on fire.
And if I go far away,
I know you'll find another slave.

Now I'm free
from what you want.
Now I'm free
from what you need.
Now I'm free
from what you are.

And when you wanted blood,
I cut my veins.
And when you wanted love,
I bled myself again.
Now that I've had my fill of you,
I'd give you up forever.
And here i go far away,
I know you,
you'll find another slave.

Now I'm free
from what you want.
Now I'm free
from what you need.
Now I'm free
from what you are.

Then a vision came to me
when you came along.
I gave you everything but then
you wanted more.

Now I'm free
from what you want.
Now I'm free
from what you need.
Now I'm free
from what you are.

Now that I'm free
from what you want.
Now that I'm free
from what you need.
Now that I'm free
from what you are.