Super Powers Ruined by Science - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

HOZ · 03-27-2009, 12:07 AM

Most of us are hoping that, through some kind of nuclear accident or other, we'll wind up with super powers. It's just a matter of time, right?
If you could pick what power you wind up with, what would you take? It's not as easy a choice as it sounds, because as it turns out, you can expect some pretty annoying (or deadly) side effects.

Damn you Cracked!

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5 Scientific Reasons People Act Like Aholes

CrusaderPi · 03-27-2009, 12:18 AM

I still believe in X-ray vision. I don't care.

Invisibility for the win.

peter12 · 03-27-2009, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrusaderPi

I still believe in X-ray vision. I don't care.

Invisibility for the win.

Two superpowers for the superperv.

CrusaderPi · 03-27-2009, 12:26 AM

yeah yeah. My uncle gave me the speech. With great powers come great responsiboobies. I got it. I'll only use my perv powers for good.

Coach · 03-27-2009, 12:50 AM

Invisibility would be mine....combines with flight or super strength

Coach · 03-27-2009, 12:57 AM

this list sucks....obviously if you get super speed, you also get the ability to deal with the effects it would have on a normal human body. Jeez

firebug · 03-27-2009, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattyC

this list sucks....obviously if you get super speed, you also get the ability to deal with the effects it would have on a normal human body. Jeez

Maybe lots of people have had the super speed ability... the down side is they only ever got to use it once.

~firebug

CaptainCrunch · 03-27-2009, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattyC

this list sucks....obviously if you get super speed, you also get the ability to deal with the effects it would have on a normal human body. Jeez

Hey with super speed all it takes is one distraction.

Lets say that Flash is out for brisk jog. He's running he's running, he rounds a corner and happens to spot the incredible hulk and the thing in a armourous and not hot embrace. He loses his concentration and in mid ewww slams into a wall at 300 miles an hour.

All thats left of Flash is a puddle

STeeLy · 03-27-2009, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Hey with super speed all it takes is one distraction.

Lets say that Flash is out for brisk jog. He's running he's running, he rounds a corner and happens to spot the incredible hulk and the thing in a armourous and not hot embrace. He loses his concentration and in mid ewww slams into a wall at 300 miles an hour.

All thats left of Flash is a puddle

I don't want to argue. But if your body was able to deal with the effects of super speed, couldn't one also say that his momentum would likely break through that wall travelling at 300mph?

CaptainCrunch · 03-27-2009, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by STeeLy

I don't want to argue. But if your body was able to deal with the effects of super speed, couldn't one also say that his momentum would likely break through that wall travelling at 300mph?

I think the only hero whoes body was really made for his super powers was superman, and maybe the Thing.

With Flash there was never a mention of his body being anything more then simply human.

I always thought the idea that the fastest man alive could stop on a dime without his feet getting worn down to nubs or his ankles shattering was hilarious.

Or that his organs wouldn't slam backwards and liquify when he ran.

onetwo_threefour · 03-27-2009, 10:01 AM

Telekinesis

...'Nuff said.

No deadly side effects, and extremely useful.

Machiavelli · 03-27-2009, 10:02 AM

I would want the ability to read people's minds (telepathy).

CaptainCrunch · 03-27-2009, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onetwo_threefour

Telekinesis

...'Nuff said.

No deadly side effects, and extremely useful.

unless you can't filter out thoughts and instead of reading the thoughts of that hot blond next to you on the bus, you read the mind of that insane child killing hobo sitting across from you as he contemplates eating your spleen.

CrusaderPi · 03-27-2009, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

unless you can't filter out thoughts and instead of reading the thoughts of that hot blond next to you on the bus, you read the mind of that insane child killing hobo sitting across from you as he contemplates eating your spleen.

Frankly, I'd like to know the hobo is going to eat my spleen before he starts, you know, eating my spleen. It would give me a chance to call Locke.

ok, ok,....I get it · 03-27-2009, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I think the only hero whoes body was really made for his super powers was superman, and maybe the Thing.

With Flash there was never a mention of his body being anything more then simply human.

I always thought the idea that the fastest man alive could stop on a dime without his feet getting worn down to nubs or his ankles shattering was hilarious.

Or that his organs wouldn't slam backwards and liquify when he ran.

The flash can move the molecules of his body individually and such a speed he can move through solid objects....I suspect the biggest problem the flash faces is staying power in bed.

CaptainCrunch · 03-27-2009, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ok, ok,....I get it

The flash can move the molecules of his body individually and such a speed he can move through solid objects....I suspect the biggest problem the flash faces is staying power in bed.

Or damage to his girlfriends nether regions.

It'd be like starting a fire with a branch.

ok, ok,....I get it · 03-27-2009, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Or damage to his girlfriends nether regions.

It'd be like starting a fire with a branch.

tru dat

STeeLy · 03-27-2009, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

unless you can't filter out thoughts and instead of reading the thoughts of that hot blond next to you on the bus, you read the mind of that insane child killing hobo sitting across from you as he contemplates eating your spleen.

I think you have telekinesis confused with telepathy.

He wants to move objects with his mind...

That would definitely be useful...

I wish I had the force... Jedi Mind Tricks can become extremely useful.

Yeah_Baby · 03-27-2009, 10:46 AM

I have super speed

photon · 03-27-2009, 10:50 AM

http://superuseless.blogspot.com/

Quote:

SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Ultra Short-Range Teleportation.
This unamazing power lets you teleport up to one inch away. When done in rapid succession, it gives that old-timey stop action feel. It can also really push your "popping & locking" routine to the next level.

SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Superhuman strength whilst sleeping.

After awaking from an especially violent dream, the "Slumberjack" finds his bedroom, house and entire zipcode in utter shambles. At least it's a good excuse to forgo post-coital snuggling.