Did I really just say that?

[BlackArcher101]

Good one calf, I do that multiple times each day... Usually after I say it there's a period of awkward silence where were not sure what the other person said.

I've had a couple other moments... I'm a mechanical designer (background for story). We were all sitting in the shop partaking in a few bevvies when I look up at the overhead crane. I ask "Why on earth did they put such a large peice of metal at the end of the rail". My boss replies "So the crane doesn't fall off the end". Definite doh! moment right there.

Another... upon seeing one of those full size camper vans that say "Security" near the top... "Why would they have security out here? Is there a lot of trouble around here?". It was in a campground.

[Seabass]

It wasn't something I said, but, I had a really stupid girlfriend who once told me that they have lights on the front of the vacuum cleaner, so you know where you are going...if the power goes off.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Once in a while, when calling someone, I will greet them as if I was answering their call. It usually throws someone off. I do this to my daughter quite a bit.

For example...I'll call her and as soon as she picks up I'll say "Bob's Pizza!". She gets confused...or at least she used to.

[StrayBullet]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

When I was in school in Dallas, I was in the common room playing a game of Double Dragon with a friend. During a key fight one of those gigantic black thugs came out and started destroying my character, of course my friend was busy dealing with the easy characters.

So I swore at him and said "How come I always have to fight the black guys!!"

It was a stupid thing to say in the deep south.

I really don't find anything wrong with this. I actually laughed at it.

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by StrayBullet

I really don't find anything wrong with this. I actually laughed at it.

pm sent

[Buff]

Years ago I worked at Canadian Tire in the Sports & Seasonal sections. One year we were getting the toys section setup (back when Canadian Tire had a decent toy section during Christmas). One year, when Toy Story was still pretty popular, a lady was looking through the Toy Story figures on a cart of stock that a co-worker was just beginning to put on the shelf. The co-worker was busy helping somebody else out so the lady asked me if we had Woody or Buzz Lightyear. I knew of a couple other cases in the warehouse so I went back and looked. I only found Buzz so she asked if I could reserve the other one for her. We normally weren't supposed to do things like that but we also didn't say no to such requests so I got her name and number.

I found what she was looking for so I took the figure/doll back to where we held special order items and proceeded to call the customer. The machine answered so I left a message that went nearly identical to this: "This is <my real life name here> from Canadian Tire, I have a Woody for you... uh you can come get it at any time... uh thanks."

[Eastern Girl]

When I worked at Burger King in high school, this guy came in and wanted a whopper combo. He didn't say what kind of drink he wanted, so when that happens we are supposed to assume they want coke. So, I asked to make sure that's what he wanted, except I said, "Did you want c**k with that?" I turned all different shades of red and actually got in a little trouble with my manager.

[gottabekd]

Reminds me of one time in Burger King. I recognized the girl behind the counter as a sibling of an old friend of mine from elementary school. "You're Greg's brother, right?" "Err...sister...yea.". "Umm...yea..sorry...what. Umm...whopper combo."

She didn't look male. I just stumbled a bit there in my delivery. I wonder if she started to wear more makeup.

[STeeLy]

With English being my second language. I always mix up him/his and her.

I could be talking about this friend of mine who is female and I'll be like "yeah and you know what his sister did? .... I mean.. uuh... her sister"

[Resolute 14]

Usually when calling internal clients, I usually introduce myself with "It's Resolute calling from head office..." I once used that greeting after calling an external printer repair company we were using. The sad part was that the receptionist at the other end knew exactly who I was, after she stopped laughing at me.

Also, having called that company like a half dozen times in two days, I left on a road trip, and when trying to forward my desk phone to my cell phone, I accidentally plugged in their number rather than mine. Needless to say, they were a little surprised when they started getting calls meant for me.

[fredr123]

I grew up in a series of ever-shrinking small towns. Last place I lived before moving to Calgary had a population hovering around 900. Suffice to say everyone in town knew everyone else. When fresh meat moved to town, it was news.

Somehow or other, my English teacher and my classmate in English 10 failed to put two and two together.

One day in class while we were supposed to be working on something independently, the teacher walked by our desks where we were talking about our weekends. My friend worked at the local greasy spoon and was discussing how weird he was. He used a number of words that I won't repeat here and finished up with a discourse on the lameness of the new guy's name: Fabian. Our teacher remarked that she too thought Fabian was a pretty lame name.

Sitting next to us one row over and totally within earshot the entire time was the new girl in our class who happened to have just started this week. Who woulda thunk it: two new people in town in the same week. You don't suppose...

"Fabian is my brother," she said aloud. The next thing you heard was the sound of my friend and the teacher each inserting their foot into their respective mouth.

[BuzzardsWife]

Originally Posted by Machiavelli

Oh my god my life is forever altered because I seriously thought it was caysh too.

"cash"???

that's ok..i used to call it cashay

[kermitology]

Not me, but my ex-girlfriend saw a headline in the paper about Peruvian Riots..

This international relations major then asked me and a friend.. "Where's Peruvia?"

Boy did I get in trouble for laughing my ass off at that one.

[BuzzardsWife]

Originally Posted by Seabass

It wasn't something I said, but, I had a really stupid girlfriend who once told me that they have lights on the front of the vacuum cleaner, so you know where you are going...if the power goes off.

That is hilarious. One time my friend said that the beeping sounds at a crosswalk intersection are for the deaf. My sister in law thought they killed sheep for the wool to make her sweater. A guy asked me once how they grow spaghetti.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by kermitology

Not me, but my ex-girlfriend saw a headline in the paper about Peruvian Riots..

This international relations major then asked me and a friend.. "Where's Peruvia?"

Boy did I get in trouble for laughing my ass off at that one.

Hahahahaha....I cant blame you though, thats hilarious.

[red sky]

Story about a friend. She was dead tired at dinner one night and the waitress asked if she wanted soup or salad however she heard supersalad (perhaps like the big salad on Seinfeld). Anyways, she replied with sounds good, the waitress asked again soup or salad? Once again she replied yes... this repeated a few times until we were nice enough to explain it to her.

Another recent one was when I was getting deli meat at Safeway and after she handed it to me she said "how can I help you... errr, I mean is there anything else". Boy did her face turn red...

[BlackEleven]

Originally Posted by kermitology

Not me, but my ex-girlfriend saw a headline in the paper about Peruvian Riots..

This international relations major then asked me and a friend.. "Where's Peruvia?"

Boy did I get in trouble for laughing my ass off at that one.

Along the same lines my girlfriend (who has a PhD) and I saw two guys speaking to each other in a thick Jamacian accent. She asks me where they are from and I say Jamacia. Then she asks "Well why don't they just speak Jamacian to each other then??".

She gets mad at me when I tell that story to people, good thing she doesn't read CP.

[FlamesAddiction]

A guy I work is going to Italy this summer and he told another co-worker that he was a little scared to go to Italy because he doesn't speak Spanish.

He's an otherwise very intelligent and educated.

[J pold]

In my grade 12 year I was reading an article out loud to the class about French colonization in Africa and not knowing a lick of French (which I should) every time I saw the word “oui” I pronounced it “oi” like in the man show ziggy, zaggy, ziggy, zaggy, oi, oi, oi

[tete]

Originally Posted by BuzzardsWife

My sister in law thought they killed sheep for the wool to make her sweater.

I worked at a historic site where we showed historic crafts, including spinning wool, dying it, etc. As I was showing a Grade 6 class how to spin wool, one boy put up his hand and asked "Do you have to kill the sheep to get its wool?" and my response was "Do you have to slit your throat to get a haircut?" - Whooops Guess I finally snapped at that answer - poor child, I probably scarred him for life!

One of my friends lived on a Charolais (pure white cattle) farm - a school from the city came out on tour and the teacher proudly showed these cows and said to her students "White milk comes out of these cows - chocolate milk comes out of the brown ones (Herford cattle). BTW- Charolais aren't used for milk anyway- they're used for meat.