Alberta women cross-border shopping for men

[J pold]

Originally Posted by FanIn80

Yep, I'm the same way. A nice relaxing, laid-back date is definitely more my cup of coffee...as it were.

Personally, though, I used to be a drunken womanizer - but not anymore. I've been around that block (so to speak) enough times, now I'm just worried about looking after myself (in a healthy way, not talking about being selfish).

I'm a firm believer in "attraction, not promotion." I just quietly go about my day trying to do the right thing and focus on the stuff that matters (I really hate that whole "chicks dig shoes thing" - I don't think I'll ever go out and buy a pair of shoes I hate just for the sake of getting laid), and if I meet a woman who's on the same page, then it's all good.

While a kind of agree with what you saying about being laid back, you don’t want to run the risk of being to laid back

If you spend all your time just being quiet, always minding your own business, being the nice guy who always does the right thing your never going to get noticed

And don’t have to go out and buy a $600 pair of Gucci shoes, but you don’t want to wear your old, ripped, smelly, dirty, running shoes from 5 years ago either just have a nice pair of sneakers that you can rely on nothing fancy

[LChoy]

My gf from Toronto, but we met in Vancouver. The only thing incompatible (besides the long distance thing) is that she's a leafs fan

[Boblobla]

Originally Posted by lchoy

My gf from Toronto, but we met in Vancouver. The only thing incompatible (besides the long distance thing) is that she's a leafs fan

Deal breaker imo.

[FanIn80]

Originally Posted by J pold

While a kind of agree with what you saying about being laid back, you don’t want to run the risk of being to laid back

If you spend all your time just being quiet, always minding your own business, being the nice guy who always does the right thing your never going to get noticed

And don’t have to go out and buy a $600 pair of Gucci shoes, but you don’t want to wear your old, ripped, smelly, dirty, running shoes from 5 years ago either just have a nice pair of sneakers that you can rely on nothing fancy

Absolutely. There's a balance, for sure.

As for the shoes thing, yes I see your point. Looking like a slob isn't going to get anyone anywhere.

At the far end of the spectrum, though... I have met some pretty extreme women who are very much into labels and dollar signs... In fact, about two years ago, I dated a girl who carried this tiny little $600 purse around on her arm, and had to carry her wallet in her hands because the purse was too small to fit it in.

Things like that are a serious turn-off for me.

[flylock shox]

Originally Posted by FanIn80

I have met some pretty extreme women who are very much into labels and dollar signs... In fact, about two years ago, I dated a girl who carried this tiny little $600 purse around on her arm, and had to carry her wallet in her hands because the purse was too small to fit it in.

Things like that are a serious turn-off for me.

I think you've just described the stereotypical Vancouver girl.

FWIW, I really think that most of these nightclub/dating tendencies are cultural rather than the result of any gender divide. Actually, I tend to think men and women are almost exactly the same when it comes to dating and what they look for - but what they look for tends to be moderated by the culture they're from.

Calgary's culture just isn't one that makes meeting people easy, and most Americans I have met are significantly more extroverted and colorful than your average Calgarian.

[Cowboy89]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Edited to add that you shouldn't regret not going out with women you don't find attractive. I don't go out with men I don't find attractive either. However I think men have unrealistic expectations for what women should look like.

Is it really the fault of the fish for not taking the bait, or is it really a matter of not baiting the hook with proper bait? I don't think you can get mad at people for wanting what they want.

The laws of attraction are inately biological and not based on any set of egalitarian ethical principles or optimally derived constructs to appease and accomodate everyone. Not everyone is equal. So when we are all given freewill to make choices in life, more intelligent people will do the more intelligent jobs, athletic people will be athletes, and quite frankly more attractive people will have an easier time attracting mates and thus have greater control as to who it is they mate with. So when men have certain expectations/standards/ideals it tends to reflect the reality that they percieve.

It's kinda like selling a house. If you're house if properly priced and marketed for you to optimize your revenue you'll get some lower offers and within a reasonable amount of time there will be one particular buyer who will meet your price. If its priced too high or not marketed enough, your price simply won't be met until you lower it and you can't crap all over potential buyers for not seeing a higher valuation.

[mykalberta]

Who asks to hang out? I ask to go out for coffee (even though I hate coffee) cause its the cheaper alternative - I figured that was a cop out.

Also, only ever asked one woman out in a Bar (gives the wrong impression), mostly its grocery store or around work.

ALSO - totally thought this thread was about amazing g/f and wives going to the US to pick up electronics on the cheap for their b/f husband.

ALSO - read a few more of FireFly's posts - if you are in Red Deer and if it was anythign like it was when I went to RDC 98/99/200 then you should have no problem as it was like shooting fish in a barrel it was so easy - only issue is I heard a rumor its the STD capital of Alberta - or at least was back then.

[Superflyer]

So I thought that girls wanted a nice guy who would treat them with respect and blah blah blah. In the article she says that Canadian men are to nice to date and pretty much wants a man who is rough and crass.
Also I am guessing that her standards are not that high since she is bragging that she hooked up with a subway bathroom cleaner in N.Y. But then again she is from Edmonton so that could also explain the lack of good men.

[The Fonz]

"It's just so much easier to date people there," says Agyepong. "When I went there last time for a week, I met so many more guys. I didn't do anything different. I just think the guys there are a little bit more open to meeting people."

Is she a moron?

Obviously guys are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy more willing to date you if you're only around for a week....they don't have to follow up the "dates" with a relationship because she's going back to Canada soon. And because she is leaving so soon, she'll probably have sex on the first date...so she's an easy take down. If she thinks that during that week she was going on "dates", she's dillusional, think of the term "get in, get out", because that's what those men are thinking about.

If men down there realize she is going to be a permanent US resident, she'll run into the same dating problems as in Edmonton.

I'm not a pig, I'm just an honest man. Women are far more appealing if you know you can just hook up and have a good time with them, only for them to leave the country a week later. No strings attached, no serious relationship mumbo jumbo, no hurt feelings.




EDIT: didn't read the whole article either, just took a quick look at the first page. Hope I didn't go off track in my rant.

[Locke]

Americans are easy.

Those sluts.

Wait, I like sluts.

[Tron_fdc]

Interesting. How does one approach a girl in the grocery store? I've heard of this approach, but I've never done it or seen it in action.

I think I need an approach other than clubbing girls ovr the head and dragging them back to my cave.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by FireFly

There are plenty of comments about it being the girls fault... is that the case? Am I too stand-offish? Ugly? Too fat? WTF is the problem here? Be honest... I know I'm plump. I won't kick anyone's ass or cry over it. If it truely is the fault of the women in the article that they're single, wouldn't that mean it's my fault too?

Bah! I think you're hot, I'm just too old to ask out women in their twenties now; I am a slave to societal disapprobation.

The one thing I noticed is that you come across as very self-confident (which is very odd considering you seem to have self-doubts here), which, however sad it is to say, turns off a lot of guys who lack their own self-confidence.

My advice would be simply not to worry about it - there is no magic cure that will change the situation, so all you can do is wait and watch for opportunity to arise. If you continue to go out and meet people, sooner or later you will be successful.

To relate it back to the article, there is something to be said for a change of venue - I have also noticed it is easier to find available women when I am on vacation, but I'm not really sure if that is because of where I am, or how I act when I am away from home. Being a weaselly guy, I'm pretty sure the uncomfortable truth is that it's mostly because there are few consequences to a relationship of this sort, as they are by nature short-term and extremely unlikely to progress beyond that.

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

Girls need to realize that when I'm pissed out of my mind and yelling at them, making fun of their shoes, lighting things on fire and generally acting like an ass that yes, I am trying to pick you up.

Try Vegas, as long as you look reasonably well-off when you're doing all that, it'll work just fine. Of course, the quality of woman you'll get will be somewhat sketchy, but for effort/reward levels, you'll be golden.

[Cowboy89]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

Interesting. How does one approach a girl in the grocery store? I've heard of this approach, but I've never done it or seen it in action.

I think I need an approach other than clubbing girls ovr the head and dragging them back to my cave.

Easy, make snide/interesting/flattering comments about some of the items she's buying or looking at. Works like a charm:

Me: That's a nice pair of mellons you've got there. What are they Honeydew? How sweet do they taste?

Her: (Slap across my face)

Me: Nice I think she likes me!

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Cowboy89

Is it really the fault of the fish for not taking the bait, or is it really a matter of not baiting the hook with proper bait? I don't think you can get mad at people for wanting what they want.

The laws of attraction are inately biological and not based on any set of egalitarian ethical principles or optimally derived constructs to appease and accomodate everyone. Not everyone is equal. So when we are all given freewill to make choices in life, more intelligent people will do the more intelligent jobs, athletic people will be athletes, and quite frankly more attractive people will have an easier time attracting mates and thus have greater control as to who it is they mate with. So when men have certain expectations/standards/ideals it tends to reflect the reality that they percieve.

It's kinda like selling a house. If you're house if properly priced and marketed for you to optimize your revenue you'll get some lower offers and within a reasonable amount of time there will be one particular buyer who will meet your price. If its priced too high or not marketed enough, your price simply won't be met until you lower it and you can't crap all over potential buyers for not seeing a higher valuation.

I think you misinterpret me. I get that like attracts like, and I don't dispute that. The standards I set in myself I expect in someone I'd date as well. What I was saying is that men are inundated with sexy, beautiful women in media. The reality is that the majority of women are not like this. Women on the other hand are given a more egalitarian look at men through media, and generally, have lower standards looks-wise. How often do you see a guy with a hot chick and think "how did he score that?" Likewise, do you EVER see a hot guy with an average girl? Just doesn't happen.

[Cowboy89]

Originally Posted by FireFly

I think you misinterpret me. I get that like attracts like, and I don't dispute that. The standards I set in myself I expect in someone I'd date as well. What I was saying is that men are inundated with sexy, beautiful women in media. The reality is that the majority of women are not like this. Women on the other hand are given a more egalitarian look at men through media, and generally, have lower standards looks-wise. How often do you see a guy with a hot chick and think "how did he score that?" Likewise, do you EVER see a hot guy with an average girl? Just doesn't happen.

Very true, but it doesn't change want or desire in the looks department. Women trade in looks for other qualities more readily than men, however that's not to say that men don't negotiate with looks as well. Just not to the same degree as women. You could change every ad on TV that uses a female model and replace them with models used in those dove commercials and I don't think you'd see a remarkable difference in the average man's appearance expectations. If a man's too unrealistic about appearance expectations then he'll be going without for a long time until his expectations match the reality of his own physical environment. I believe that once someone's been around the block a few times they have a pretty good guage of what to expect.

[rubecube]

Sounds like someone has a case of the uppitys!

[mykalberta]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

Interesting. How does one approach a girl in the grocery store? I've heard of this approach, but I've never done it or seen it in action.

I think I need an approach other than clubbing girls ovr the head and dragging them back to my cave.

For me a grocery store is alot easier and safer than a bar. Admittedly dont go there jsut to to pick women up, cause thats kid of creepy.

You just have to spend alot more time in the Fruit and Veg section than normal. And play dumb by asking them what that is when they pick it up - like some weird looking fruit of veg (or ask about how to tell if a watermellon etc is ripe or not) - that is your in for a introduction, from there you should be able to tell if she is into you or not by the inflection in her voice. Then dont waste much time to see if she wants to do something non datey but enough you will be able to figure out if she is crazy or not. I also find it alot better for first impressions as you can see what girls are fake and not by the way they dress for grocery shopping. The only real negative is you can sometimes get the wolf pack issue if they have roomates etc, that is a bit more difficult to navigate.

Also, I have found paper and pen to be more conducive to a positive response then taking info on a PDA or phone. No empirical evidence just my expiernce has been alot more positive with the paper way of doing things.

Keep in mind, I dont know alot of people in this City outside of work, the grocery store angle is usually the only option so I have worked at it alot being in this city almost 5 years, with the exception of the around work area +15/food courts which are alot harder to negotiate and for myself dont have near the success % as grocery stores.

[browna]

Yvonne should do it the Dar way (for shame, 4 pages of the most famous cross border slu..t...I mean shopper, yet no reference to her), ride her bike along the river in Great Falls and end up in Vegas.

[Lithium]

Originally Posted by FireFly

I think you misinterpret me. I get that like attracts like, and I don't dispute that. The standards I set in myself I expect in someone I'd date as well. What I was saying is that men are inundated with sexy, beautiful women in media. The reality is that the majority of women are not like this. Women on the other hand are given a more egalitarian look at men through media, and generally, have lower standards looks-wise. How often do you see a guy with a hot chick and think "how did he score that?" Likewise, do you EVER see a hot guy with an average girl? Just doesn't happen.

http://www.hotchickswith######bags.com/

There is a website for your statement.

[mykalberta]

Originally Posted by Lithium

http://www.hotchickswith######bags.com/

There is a website for your statement.

The default answer for that question is and always has been money.