Alberta women cross-border shopping for men

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by FanIn80

I predict many PMs from guys here in your future.

PM sent

j/k

[Flashpoint]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Awwww.... look at all the boys being defensive here.

Here's my own story so you can tell me to STFU as well.

I've been single for over 3 years now. Not that I haven't gone on dates, not that I haven't ever been asked out, but I do have to say I have done most of the asking, at least 80%. I've been approached in bars a total of maybe 3 times in those three years. And 2/3 times were guys looking for a booty call. I've given out plenty of signals to men who were looking in my direction as well, so it's not like I haven't tried to have a guy come strike up a conversation with me. So why don't they?

So here's the question for those who know me... is it that I project a snootiness? Or am I ugly? Or am I giving the wrong signals? Or are men just waiting for ME to approach them? And why can't they take the initiative?

Useless without pictu... nevermind.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by troutman

There were pictures of these women in the print edition. They may have to cross a few borders to find a man.

It's not us, it's you.

She should move to Ft McMurray, where the ratio is about 10-1, maybe she'd have a shot there.

[Boblobla]

Originally Posted by habernac

She should move to Ft McMurray, where the ratio is about 10-1, maybe she'd have a shot there.

A shot at the clap, or the herp.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by FanIn80

I predict many PMs from guys here in your future.

See, I've said it before and I have gone out on a few dates with the men of CP... some that have asked me, some that I have asked out. All decent men, but none I've made a connection with unfortunately.

However I know quite a few of the guys here now through various gatherings and our slo-pitch team and whatnot, and no one has answered my question...

There are plenty of comments about it being the girls fault... is that the case? Am I too stand-offish? Ugly? Too fat? WTF is the problem here? Be honest... I know I'm plump. I won't kick anyone's ass or cry over it. If it truely is the fault of the women in the article that they're single, wouldn't that mean it's my fault too?

[FanIn80]

I have no clue. I've never met you. :P

[Metro Gnome]

What a bunch of psychobabble nonsense in that article.

"Men are more assertive in the States because it's a superpower".

Give me a f***ing break. I'm sure half the men in the States are only dimly aware of their nation's standing in terms of "global dominance".

"There's something about a lack of sense of who we are. There's a lack of 'Canadian brand' internationally'".

And that somehow translates to the level of assertiveness in young men in bars. Absurd generalization gone awry. I can only say these *ahem* theories grossly exaggerate the effect of a "national identity" on individual mating patterns.

[Boblobla]

Originally Posted by FireFly

There are plenty of comments about it being the girls fault... is that the case? Am I too stand-offish? Ugly? Too fat? WTF is the problem here? Be honest... I know I'm plump. I won't kick anyone's ass or cry over it. If it truely is the fault of the women in the article that they're single, wouldn't that mean it's my fault too?

I don't know you but you are not in the Herald making blanket statements about all of the men in Canada and saying that all American men are more charming ect. That is more the reason for the trash talking of the woman in the article.

I am a husky fellow and I am really lucky to have a hot skinny g/f, luckily women are not as superficial as men :P.

I know it sounds lame but it has worked for a few friends of mine who don't really have time to try and meet people. Have you tried Lavalife or something like that??

[Resolute 14]

Originally Posted by FireFly

So here's the question for those who know me... is it that I project a snootiness? Or am I ugly? Or am I giving the wrong signals? Or are men just waiting for ME to approach them? And why can't they take the initiative?

Maybe you are just too awesome for us Canadians, and you have to head south of the border?

[Gozer]

Originally Posted by Metro Gnome

What a bunch of psychobabble nonsense in that article.

"Men are more assertive in the States because it's a superpower".

Give me a f***ing break. I'm sure half the men in the States are only dimly aware of their nation's standing in terms of "global dominance".

"There's something about a lack of sense of who we are. There's a lack of 'Canadian brand' internationally'".

And that somehow translates to the level of assertiveness in young men in bars. Absurd generalization gone awry. I can only say these *ahem* theories grossly exaggerate the effect of a "national identity" on individual mating patterns.

I actually thought that pysco-babble had an ounce of truth.

Canadians are polite, well mannered, unassuming as a stereotype. If that's how I'm supposed to see myself, once a girl or two tells me to never darken her door again - I think I'm expected to tone it down. So I do.

Americans are brash, boorish, and obnoxious as a stereotype.
(If you think American's don't comprehend America exceptionalism, you're loony)


Let me ask you this Firefly, when you hear about a date "horror story" from a friend, how do you react?

[FanIn80]

I'm pretty sure the woman who wrote this thing is friends with chick it's about. How else does some unknown person with absolutely no "newsworthy" relevance get an entire newspaper article written about them?

I'm betting the writer is just trying to "help a friend out" by publishing her story.

Either way... I think it's safe to say that, if people keep saying "no", then it's time to change your standards and try a different direction. I'm sure if I kept sending emails to supermodels asking them out, that they'd all say no too.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Boblobla

I don't know you but you are not in the Herald making blanket statements about all of the men in Canada and saying that all American men are more charming ect. That is more the reason for the trash talking of the woman in the article.

I am a husky fellow and I am really lucky to have a hot skinny g/f, luckily women are not as superficial as men :P.

I know it sounds lame but it has worked for a few friends of mine who don't really have time to try and meet people. Have you tried Lavalife or something like that??

Yup. I've tried it all. I'm almost resigned to being old and alone... However if I'm still single by 30, I'm moving to Alaska. It's not dirty like northern Alberta and the ratios there are good too.

[Flashpoint]

Originally Posted by FireFly

There are plenty of comments about it being the girls fault... is that the case? Am I too stand-offish? Ugly? Too fat? WTF is the problem here? Be honest... I know I'm plump. I won't kick anyone's ass or cry over it. If it truely is the fault of the women in the article that they're single, wouldn't that mean it's my fault too?

That's most likely the problem.

Yes, there are exceptions. Some guys like bigger women. Most don't. A few guys just don't care about looks. Again... most men use physical attraction as the single most important criteria when it comes to deciding to chat up a stranger.

I have always regretted the fact that I myself have not pursued relationships with absolutely wonderful women simply because I didn't find them attractive.

It's not how things should be. It's just how I honestly see them.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Gozer

Let me ask you this Firefly, when you hear about a date "horror story" from a friend, how do you react?

What kind of horror story? I don't think I've ever heard one. I've had some incredibly boring dates before, and some dates with arrogant pricks... and really I just keep looking. I'm not sure what you mean by horror story date.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Flashpoint

That's most likely the problem.

Yes, there are exceptions. Some guys like bigger women. Most don't. A few guys just don't care about looks. Again... most men use physical attraction as the single most important criteria when it comes to deciding to chat up a stranger.

I have always regretted the fact that I myself have not pursued relationships with absolutely wonderful women simply because I didn't find them attractive.

It's not how things should be. It's just how I honestly see them.

I said I'm plump. I'm not fat. I'm curvy. I'm a size 12. That's too big?

Edited to add that you shouldn't regret not going out with women you don't find attractive. I don't go out with men I don't find attractive either. However I think men have unrealistic expectations for what women should look like.

[FanIn80]

Originally Posted by FireFly

I said I'm plump. I'm not fat. I'm curvy. I'm a size 12. That's too big?

Well it certainly isn't a size 2, is it?!


(I kid, I kid... I have no clue what a size 12 is. I don't pay enough attention to dress sizes for that. )

[J pold]

Originally Posted by FireFly

So here's the question for those who know me... is it that I project a snootiness? Or am I ugly? Or am I giving the wrong signals? Or are men just waiting for ME to approach them? And why can't they take the initiative?

I don’t know you but I will take a stab at this one, try not to take offense to what I’m saying it’s just some constructive criticism

While I have no idea what you look like or what you are like in person I would assume that by asking all of those questions that you don’t have a lot of confidence when it comes to dating/guys and what not, maybe it’s because you have been single for so long you figure that there must be something wrong with or that you have lost control of the situation completely and feel a little helpless

Don’t worry there are a ton of people (men and women alike) that are in the exact same situation as you

First thing I would do is totally eliminate that thinking that there is a problem, its common knowledge that girls like guys with confidence well that same goes for most men (at the least the healthy ones) they want a girl with a strong head on her shoulders that doesn’t always second guess herself (i.e. do you think I’m pretty? Does this make me look fat? Why don’t you like me?) Be comfortable in your own skin, forget about whatever physical flaws you might have and project confidence especially through your body language

[Gozer]

Originally Posted by FireFly

What kind of horror story? I don't think I've ever heard one. I've had some incredibly boring dates before, and some dates with arrogant pricks... and really I just keep looking. I'm not sure what you mean by horror story date.

I'll tell you what I'm getting at, because all I'm doing is wondering if you have anything in common with some of my friends.

I know a couple girls that always talk about how awful this part of the date was, or how ugly his shoes were. Really Seinfeldian stuff. They're not generally unpleasant or stuck up, just seem to rather talk about silly things that go wrong rather than silly things that go right. And I think they project that when guys approach them - "oh no, what's this guy's worst feature going to be" and guys pick up on it and cool their jets. I know that's the impression I got when I met them, and the more I'm around these two the more I believe it.

Maybe it doesn't suit you at all, but that was a nice little vent that made me feel a little better.

[FireFly]

I don't have a problem... I think I look fine. The questions were really asked because two of the posters here who said it was the girl's fault for what she looked like, know me in person. I was wondering if it's something they'd also say to me.

But thanks for trying to help.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Well, as far as getting APPROACHED by a stranger, the reality is it comes down to physical appearance. Hurts, but that's the truth. If these girls aren't ever getting approached at a bar, I think the problem is pretty clear.

That doesn't mean however, that these girls are destined to be alone forever. Meeting people through friends is still an option and it's through friends where a girl can engage into conversation with new people and attract guys with their personality. I'm sure all the guys here know of a few girls out there who might not necessarily be the most "physically attractive" ones out there, but they find themselves even more attracted to them than girls who might be more attractive physically.