Squat Toilets: Some Advice or Tips?

[I-Hate-Hulse]

Originally Posted by longsuffering

After working for almost a total of 10 years in Kyrgyzstan, Yemen and Azerbaijan, I've seen my share of holes in the ground.

The key is planning and discipline. There are 'real' toilets to be had. Learn where they are.

Never put yourself in a position - whether by eating or drinking - where you will have to use the facilities at an unknown establishment.

Learn what leads to unexpected and urgent bowel movements and avoid that behavior. (And also carry a roll of butt wipe in your backpack, briefcase, care, etc.

Good luck!

I wish I could be this strategic in planning. We're on a tour so I'll be at the mercy of the route. It's a mid to budget level tour so I'm not sure if I can expect decent toilets at the end of a day.

[Locke]

Squat Toilets:

A feeling of relief and a sense of accomplishment all rolled into one difficult to use and uncomfortable sub-par consumer product.

Get yours today!

____________

As bad as all of this has been, it got me to thinking. What could be worse than having to use a squat toilet for a deuce?

And it could quite possibly be the inverse. Going to some god-forsaken dive that uses one of these fiendish devices and creating a situation where you have to hurl.

Either from this dump's spectacularly sub-par meals and dubious food quality or from imbibing one of their veritable cornicopia of semi-lethal, virtually toxic beverages, to the point of inducing vomiting.

Could you imagine having to puke in one of these things? The mess from previous zuchini and bratwurst deuces up close and personal right in your grill.

I believe this would manufacture a self-perpetuating cycle of projectile upheaval.

Not cool.

[Ford Prefect]

Squat Toilets: Where you can pee like your mother.

[BEANZ]

Originally Posted by Locke

Squat Toilets:

A feeling of relief and a sense of accomplishment all rolled into one difficult to use and uncomfortable sub-par consumer product.

Get yours today!

____________

As bad as all of this has been, it got me to thinking. What could be worse than having to use a squat toilet for a deuce?

And it could quite possibly be the inverse. Going to some god-forsaken dive that uses one of these fiendish devices and creating a situation where you have to hurl.

Either from this dump's spectacularly sub-par meals and dubious food quality or from imbibing one of their veritable cornicopia of semi-lethal, virtually toxic beverages, to the point of inducing vomiting.

Could you imagine having to puke in one of these things? The mess from previous zuchini and bratwurst deuces up close and personal right in your grill.

I believe this would manufacture a self-perpetuating cycle of projectile upheaval.

Not cool.

AWSOME! BUt totally fricken' twisted. You are a freak of nature man, that is seriously funny.

Thanks that made my afternoon.

[Traditional_Ale]

Dont - fall - in.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Locke

Squat Toilets:

A feeling of relief and a sense of accomplishment all rolled into one difficult to use and uncomfortable sub-par consumer product.

Get yours today!

____________

As bad as all of this has been, it got me to thinking. What could be worse than having to use a squat toilet for a deuce?

And it could quite possibly be the inverse. Going to some god-forsaken dive that uses one of these fiendish devices and creating a situation where you have to hurl.

Either from this dump's spectacularly sub-par meals and dubious food quality or from imbibing one of their veritable cornicopia of semi-lethal, virtually toxic beverages, to the point of inducing vomiting.

Could you imagine having to puke in one of these things? The mess from previous zuchini and bratwurst deuces up close and personal right in your grill.

I believe this would manufacture a self-perpetuating cycle of projectile upheaval.

Not cool.

Imagine such a scenario as the guy in the jogging pants with the elastic cuffs after his all you can eat macaroni session... I'm sure you all remember the story, if not it's in the CP hall of fame somewhere...

[I-Hate-Hulse]

Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz

Yup, this is what I found out when I was in Thailand.
if you're in a stall and you can grab the door handle, you can pull off a little manouver I refered to as the Water Skiier.
It takes a little bit of practice, but it ain't so bad.

I have this visual of the knob or grip breaking and the makings of a most epic story to post on CP.

[FireFly]

The water skiier is exactly what women do. And we have years of experience on you guys. That's what we do when we have to pee in the bush. Which, incidentally is probably cleaner than them there squat toilets.

[bluejays]

Originally Posted by I-Hate-Hulse

I have this visual of the knob or grip breaking and the makings of a most epic story to post on CP.

Just the visual of this and the slowmo thought of what to do while falling would be the makings of a novel. Imagine that. At least the CP HOF story with the macaroni, the guy had his wife to fetch some new clothing for him, but in a foreign country, who and where the hell do you turn for help? Nonetheless, just a disgusting thing to think about.

As a brown guy, I went "back home" to India for a wedding when I was 12. I just could not use those things, and tried once, and to be real honest, tried it in someone's house, took off all my clothes from top to bottom and put it on the clothing hook. Further complicating things were the fact that I'm excessive compulsive with respect to many things (including noticable dirty situation), and if I'm not confortable doing something (public washrooms), I won't go no matter how bad it is. Some places are so gross that you can't even do #1 and you feel bad for your shoes that have to step in those retched places. For the sake of updating CP, be sure to bring your camera to the airport facilities...guaranteed to be one of those memories that will forever be burned to your memory (and ours if you take that picture).

But yeah, like the one CP member mentioned above, it's all about finding the western style toilet and the beday to go along with it. It's like getting up every morning, taking your #2 at home, and holding in anything after that until you come home at night. The thought of public washrooms over here too makes me sick...

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

Squat Toilets: Where you can pee like your mother.

And you don't have to worry if you left the lid in the middle of the night with the wife falling in

[sclitheroe]

In Lithuania, they had squat toilets in the bus stations. There was an old lady sitting at a table outside the washrooms, and it cost 10 cents to get your two squares of toilet paper and go in and use the toilet. The mens washrooms had urinals too, actually - they were a big cattle trough, with a water pipe running across the wall that had nail holes punched in it to provide a rinsing stream of water.

The previous poster who said a squat toilet was better than a poorly kept western toilet was totally right - the only time I was sick to my stomach was paying my 10 cents to take a dump, and finding the toilet piled full of excrement to above the seat.

[Kybosh]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

In Lithuania, they had squat toilets in the bus stations. There was an old lady sitting at a table outside the washrooms, and it cost 10 cents to get your two squares of toilet paper and go in and use the toilet. The mens washrooms had urinals too, actually - they were a big cattle trough, with a water pipe running across the wall that had nail holes punched in it to provide a rinsing stream of water.

The previous poster who said a squat toilet was better than a poorly kept western toilet was totally right - the only time I was sick to my stomach was paying my 10 cents to take a dump, and finding the toilet piled full of excrement to above the seat.

This is what it was like in parts of Bosnia as well. I remember going into one at a bus station to take a leak and complaining about pissing into the hole in the ground while it all sprayed back all over me. My friend that I was traveling with then proceeded to laugh at me and call me an idiot because I didn't walk around the corner to find the freaking urinals.

[dionfan]

Reading this thread has been rather entertaining, I must say.

It also got me thinking - would I rather...
a. do the squat, or
b. use one of those nasty gas station crappers?

On one hand, the squat can be less messy if you have the skills, but if you dont it could be 'fun'. With the gas station option, it's easy to use but who knows how many dirty, greasy butts have sat on that seat before you? It makes me shudder just thinking about it.

[I-Hate-Hulse]

Originally Posted by fleury

But yeah, like the one CP member mentioned above, it's all about finding the western style toilet and the beday to go along with it.

Aw hell... that's a thread in itself...bidet usage...

[JohnnyB]

you know, for how everyone seems to freak out about their first squatter, a public squatter is actually way cleaner and less gross to use than an equivalently maintained western sit-down toilet. It's totally contact free, and once you're used to it is a pretty comfy position for the act. The funniest is how a lot of the ones here in China don't even have doors on the stalls. You just take your dump there with the door open.

EDIT: should have read the whole thread before this post. Guess my point was already made.

[Locke]

I'd like to meet some of the people that use these crazy contraptions.

Their quadraceps must be impressive.

[Berger_4_]

I don't quite understand what's going on here...is it just like a toilet bowl put in the ground kind of? Or is it something different altogether? If it's just a hole in the ground or whatever, what's the problem with taking a leak in them? Why would you need to squat for that? Same with puking...where's the problem? Just open the door and let fly.

[Ryan Coke]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

The mens washrooms had urinals too, actually - they were a big cattle trough, with a water pipe running across the wall that had nail holes punched in it to provide a rinsing stream of water.

Just be careful, I was in a muslim country, entered a bathroom with several turkish toilet stalls, a trough like you described, and some conventional sinks. Seemed simple, trough for #1, stalls for #2, and a normal hand wash. All good.

I was pissing in that trough for several weeks when I suddenly had an 'official' chase after me screaming and yelling about what I had done was very bad.

Apparently, the trough is to wash the hands and feet just before entering the mosque to pray.

At that moment all I could think was 'if they cut off your hands for stealing, what are they going to do for this?'

Suffice to say after the requisite apologizing and groveling, I am still whole and was never imprisoned.


PS--I stood to pee when I used the turkish toilets. Worked for me.

[krazycanuck]

Originally Posted by dionfan

With the gas station option, it's easy to use but who knows how many dirty, greasy butts have sat on that seat before you? It makes me shudder just thinking about it.

a solid nest fixes all woes.

[Flash Walken]

Originally Posted by Ryan Coke

Just be careful, I was in a muslim country, entered a bathroom with several turkish toilet stalls, a trough like you described, and some conventional sinks. Seemed simple, trough for #1, stalls for #2, and a normal hand wash. All good.

I was pissing in that trough for several weeks when I suddenly had an 'official' chase after me screaming and yelling about what I had done was very bad.

Apparently, the trough is to wash the hands and feet just before entering the mosque to pray.

At that moment all I could think was 'if they cut off your hands for stealing, what are they going to do for this?'

Suffice to say after the requisite apologizing and groveling, I am still whole and was never imprisoned.


PS--I stood to pee when I used the turkish toilets. Worked for me.

Great Story, Hansel!