How useless are you?

[TheyCallMeBruce]

Originally Posted by Flashpoint

I would still eventually eat you.

And your Dad.

Not if we chinese eat you first. We eat everything you know.

[I-Hate-Hulse]

With our secret signal, I'll summon Will Smith to my rescue. If the world's about to end, I want him on my side.

[Canada 02]

Originally Posted by Tiger

remember... Mormans have a year supply of food in their house, learn where all the mormans are in your nieghbourhood and you'll have enough food for a long time!

they're all in Lethbridge, west side

[CaptainCrunch]

Does human go better with red or white whine, and I'm assuming Tron has an abundant supply in his bomb shelter of both.

And you can't beer batter human, thats like deep frying a roast.

You merinate it in beer, honey and salt and put it on a spit over medium heat, slowly turning it over a period of hours.

Man, I'm hungry all of a sudden.

[SteveToms]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Does human go better with red or white whine, and I'm assuming Tron has an abundant supply in his bomb shelter of both.

And you can't beer batter human, thats like deep frying a roast.

You merinate it in beer, honey and salt and put it on a spit over medium heat, slowly turning it over a period of hours.

Man, I'm hungry all of a sudden.

That does sound good

[Azure]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

Pretty sure I'd be fine. I grew up on a farm, spent the first 20 years of my life growing, harvesting and killing just about everything imaginable, so I'd be pretty well off.

I spent every weekend for about 10 years in Kananaskis with my dad and his friends riding in by horse to remote hunting camps, have fished high mountain lakes, made my own lean to's, made a fire using 1 match in pouring rain, used a topo map and compass and killed wild game and help dress it in the wild. One of my fondest memories was being sent out away from his camp at about 12 years old to build my own lean to in the woods. He said it was for my own survival skills....and later on I figured out it was so him and his friends could get loaded and not be bothered by some kid wondering what was going on. I've tracked moose, elk, deer and even the odd bear (although I've never seen a grizzly in the wild I've been on one of their kills that was about a day old).

I can use pretty much every calibre rifle/shotgun and handgun fairly proficiently (except handguns....not too much experience with them). I know how to trap and skin most animals. Hell, I've even made moonshine, which is BY FAR the most important skill anyone could ask for.

I'm also pretty good at the winter survival skills, having put in a few years in the winter backcountry. I can build snowcaves, have basic mountaineering skills as well as avalanche condition evaluation.

So yeah, if the apocolypse happened I'd be the guy in and around K-Country with my family running around in deer skin mukluks with a beaver hat and 30 trout on a smoker in front of my sod hut. I'd be like that guy in the Postman, except waaaaaay better looking.

And yes, my father stockpiles weapons and food (not to mention wine) in case the world ends and we need to move to the mountains. He's quite proud of it, too.

So who is the hillbilly? You or your dad?

[FireFly]

I think humans are considered another white meat and as such go better with white wine.

[SteveToms]

I wonder how humans would work as "dry-aged" for 28 days

[Azure]

Originally Posted by Canada 02

they're all in Lethbridge, west side

Hahahahahah!

Well played sir.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by SteveToms

I wonder how humans would work as "dry-aged" for 28 days

Mmmm CP Poster jerky

But it would be a bear to carve the lot of you into thin strips

[SteveToms]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Mmmm CP Poster jerky

But it would be a bear to carve the lot of you into thin strips

Get a butcher, chain him so he can't get away. Simple.

[Tron_fdc]

Originally Posted by Azure

So who is the hillbilly? You or your dad?

Neither. He just has a real passion for the outdoors, and instilled that in me. His biggest reason for it was that it "builds character".

He's a bit of a doomsday prophet though, which is why he's stockpiling ammunition, booze and non perishables.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

Neither. He just has a real passion for the outdoors, and instilled that in me. His biggest reason for it was that it "builds character".

He's a bit of a doomsday prophet though, which is why he's stockpiling ammunition, booze and non perishables.

Pfft. I'm no "Doomsday" profit, but even I stockpile booze....

the stuff just never seems to last....

[troutman]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Does human go better with red or white whine, and I'm assuming Tron has an abundant supply in his bomb shelter of both.

. . . with some fava beans and a nice chianti . . .
- Catcher for the Calgary Puckers softball team

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by fotze

The only booze I have ever been able to keep is a giant bottle of Everclear that is 90% Alcohol that I bought in the US. I am just too scared to even try it.

Can you actually drink the stuff? It has warnings on it not to consume it straight.

You can drink it but you need a lot of mix.

One ounce of 90% isn't much more than a double of regular booze, but it can sneak up on you pretty fast. It's an easy way to get "Loser Drunk" and must be approached with extreme caution. Probably better off using it to clean the bathtub if you aren't a rummy with a high tolerance.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by SteveToms

Get a butcher, chain him so he can't get away. Simple.

Yeah the problem with that is I would stumble into the kitchen half asleep looking for a midnight snack, and I would think "Well thats convienient", and then I wouldn't have a butcher anymore, and those guys will be hard to replace.

Nah, I'd rather learn how to do it myself and make the inevitable mistake.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by fotze

The only booze I have ever been able to keep is a giant bottle of Everclear that is 90% Alcohol that I bought in the US. I am just too scared to even try it.

Can you actually drink the stuff? It has warnings on it not to consume it straight.

I'd be spiking drinks with an eye dropper.

You can drink it, but you'd have to mix the crap out of it, or if you're really ballsy, consume a very, very small quantity straight.

I heard a myth that you can actually pour a glass of it and get drunk by dipping your figner in it. Not sure whether or not thats true.

[Tron_fdc]

I had a bottle of Jamaican 151 once. We'd do shots before going to the bar (1 each) and it would burn your lungs so badly on the way down it felt like you just ran a marathon.

I can't comment on the many uses of moonshine though, because making that stuff is illegal. I only know what I've "heard" (stuff like you can use it in place of gasoline, makes a great paint thinner, and cleans grease off farm equipment).

[RougeUnderoos]

For all my failings, if I could just take one thing to Apocalyptica, and that thing could be this recipe, I think I'd be a-okay.

WELCHES FROZEN GRAPE JUICE MOONSHINE BRANDY

10 cans (11.5 oz) Welches 100% frozen grape concentrate
7 Lbs granulated sugar
water to make 5 gallons
wine or distillers yeast

Bring 5 quarts of water to boil and dissolve the sugar in the water. Remove from heat and add frozen concentrate. Add additional water to make five gallons and pour into secondary. Add remaining ingredients except yeast. Cover with cloth fastened with rubber band and set aside 12 hours. after cooling to proper yeast temperature, add activated yeast and recover with cloth. Ferment 30 days..

30 days is a long time for fermenting, but if I could make it that long I'd be off to the races. Sounds delicious too. Good enough to sell. And I think it answers the question "do you drink red or white with human"? Neither.. Welches Frozen Grape Juice Moonshine Brandy goes with human.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

For all my failings, if I could just take one thing to Apocalyptica, and that thing could be this recipe, I think I'd be a-okay.

WELCHES FROZEN GRAPE JUICE MOONSHINE BRANDY

10 cans (11.5 oz) Welches 100% frozen grape concentrate
7 Lbs granulated sugar
water to make 5 gallons
wine or distillers yeast

Bring 5 quarts of water to boil and dissolve the sugar in the water. Remove from heat and add frozen concentrate. Add additional water to make five gallons and pour into secondary. Add remaining ingredients except yeast. Cover with cloth fastened with rubber band and set aside 12 hours. after cooling to proper yeast temperature, add activated yeast and recover with cloth. Ferment 30 days..

30 days is a long time for fermenting, but if I could make it that long I'd be off to the races. Sounds delicious too. Good enough to sell. And I think it answers the question "do you drink red or white with human"? Neither.. Welches Frozen Grape Juice Moonshine Brandy goes with human.

Screw waiting for the end of the world, I'm off to safeways to try this out.