Spanking Raises Chances of Risky, Deviant Sexual Behavior

[Buzzard]

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

We used spanking with our kids, but within certain parameters. We only did it between the age of 18 months and 3 years. Before that they didn't understand what it meant, and after that there were better options ... reasoning with them, suspension of privileges, etc. We NEVER did it when we were angry and we never applied more than two swats to the bum. During that 18 month to 3 year age though it seemed to work because they understood it better than reasoning or suspension of privileges. Having established the threat of a spanking, we also found we didn't have to do it very often. The threat was usually enough.

You're joking about spanking an 18 month old to 3 year old right?

[Jason14h]

Nothing is scarier then seeing your mother pull the wooden spoon out!

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by Buzzard

You're joking about spanking an 18 month old to 3 year old right?

A couple swats on a diaper is not an act of child abuse. At that age they understand that message better than "Johnny, it's not appropriate to keep pinching the dog's ear. I've told you five times today that's not appropriate and Fido is going to bite you if you don't stop. Now go to your room and play with the all the toys you have there." Reasoning with them didn't start working until after they turned three.

I figured two swats on a diaper were less harmful than letting little Johnny keep at it until the dog bit him, or he electrocuted himself from sticking metal objects into the electrical outlet or whatever.

Let's be clear here, spanking our kids meant not more that two swats, not delivered in anger, and therefore not forceful enough to even leave a red mark. Often they had a diaper on so I doubt they felt anything.We understood the the danger of spanking escalating to child abuse.

But to be frank, around the age from 18 months to 3, they can do serious harm to themselves from exploring the world around them, and at that age reasoning with them does not work. If you have raised kids and can tell me how to stop destructive behaviour in its tracks without spanking, good for you, please do so. But we found reasoning with kids that age simply didn't work, and time outs and suspension of privileges (taking away a toy) just made the kid pouty, resentful, and more likely to continue with the destructive behaviour out of spite.

Sorry, but I'd rather be thought of as a monster because I occasionally swatted them on the bum a couple times than to have had serious harm come to them because I tried to "reason" with them that their behaviour was dangerous to their health.

And, as i said in my previous post, we really didn't have to spank often, not even on a weekly basis, because the threat of a spanking was most often enough to get their attention. In fact, the threat of a spanking was the beginning of the reasoning process.

[rubecube]

risky sex such as premarital sex without using a condom;

LOL. Well I guess I'm a deviant.

[CaptainCrunch]

My father had the ultimate punishment for me after a certain age. If I got in trouble, he wouldn't say a thing, but a 5 the next morning he was kicking me out of bed.

Nothing like spending the whole day sanding our massive deck with a piece of sandpaper (no power tools for my old man). Or staining the fence.

I remember I got bad grades in school and my parents went to the parent teacher night and got the standard feedback "He'd do so much better if he actually showed up". Yup the next day I had to pull every weed out of the lawn with a screwdriver.

I came home drunk when I was 15, the next day I was cutting down a massive tree in the backyard, and that included getting the stump and roots out of the ground.

So yeah, on occassion I got spanked, but for the most part there was no going to the room, there was labor and lots of it. And the old man probably loved it when he put me to work replacing shingles on the garage roof.

My sisters punishments were handled by my mom, and it was equally labor intensive.

My parents were big ones on mass groundings too. I remember one time, I got grounded for 3 months because I bullied this kid and beat the crap out of him infront of his girlfriend. I had no T.V., no phone, no computer (well there was no internet at the time). I was allowed to leave the house for school, and hockey and that was it. My homework was constantly monitored, and my grades had to improve before I was let out of the house.

After that, going through my basic training and getting yelled at or forced PT was easy.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Azure

Don't give him ideas.

He teaches little kids how to play soccer.

Come on. They're not that little.

I also taught them about "The Tap."

I tapped the shoulder of one of my defencemen, and he gave me this incredulous look, "Are you serious?"

Absolutely. Start a fight or score a goal. I dont care which.

So he goes out and rocks a kid into the boards. Fantastic.

Violence is the answer to all of our problems and the more the better.

If you cant find the humour or sarcasm in there then you have to be completely hopeless.

Originally Posted by Azure

I'm sure Locke meant that you should beat the hell out of them.

Geez.

Oh yeah, if they arent bleeding and begging for mercy then you havent sufficiently disciplined them.

I kick puppies too.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Blaster86

Whoa this thread melted down hardcore. I thought it was a joke thread.=(

Unfortunately this has a tendency to happen with Cheese's threads.

He usually starts them with a bit of good humour and to incite some discussion, but for some reason they tend to get derailed pretty quickly.

Its too bad, this thread provided some good fun for some sexual deviancy jokes.

Its really hard to find an appropriate place for those.

[CaptainCrunch]

I think in terms of these kind of threads, the safety word is "orange"

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I think in terms of these kind of threads, the safety word is "orange"

In that case...


DEVIANCE!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Aeneas]

Have to agree with Cheese on this one.
I am a father, I am the primary caregiver for my daughter. I get frustrated at times, even angry very rarely. However I could not ever physically hurt her on purpose. The very thought makes me shiver. She is well behaved, and I'd like to think her mother and I did a good job instilling right and wrong in her. I think a raised voice works very well to curb potentially dangerous behaviour; especially because it has been used so infrequently. That and I rarely have her out of sight, especially around roads or dogs. She is 3 and a half, and she will soon have a brother. Will having two change my mind? I doubt it. Perhaps I will be more frustrated at times, perhaps a suituation will arise where a spanking might be appropriate for some, a necessary deterent to poor behavior. I really don't think so. If I resort to using violence on my child I would see it as a failure in me. I see no real difference between spanking and beating, I really don't. Why try to rationalize a level of violence? If the spanking doesn't really hurt the child, then why bother? If it does, then that is beating. It is a very blurry line that people are trying to draw between beating and spanking, and I am happy that I will never put myself in that situation. Yes, I am saying "never" with confidence. Call me elitist too, I don't care. Every parenting experience is unique, and I am very happy that mine has been wonderful. I honestly think my experience would be sullied if I ever hurt my children.

I was spanked as a child. Didn't like it much. Dad used belt, mom wooden spoon. Went to a strict school in England where they had the strap and salt, nasty business. Very effective deterent, useful show of power, dominance, and control. However for me, that's not what parenting is about.

I am by no means a New Age do gooder pacifist, I have a feeling at some future moment Locke is going to get a group of Canuck fans angry enough that I will find pressing my fist into their faces repeatedly and at speed, necessary.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by rubecube

LOL. Well I guess I'm a deviant.

I thought we'd already decided on that yesterday?

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Aeneas

I am by no means a New Age do gooder pacifist, I have a feeling at some future moment Locke is going to get a group of Canuck fans angry enough that I will find pressing my fist into their faces repeatedly and at speed, necessary.

But if you dont beat your kids you'll be out of practice.