Spanking Raises Chances of Risky, Deviant Sexual Behavior

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Cheese

How about this instead...sexual deviance is in the open...it doesnt have to be hidden any longer due to religious reasons or lack thereof.

Seriously folks...spanking is never an option. If a child escalates to a moment that YOU think its necessary, walk away. Come back in a moment of sanity and deal with it as a good parent would. There is nothing that works better than a parent who is lucid and clear of voice who has the ability to explain to a child the rights and wrongs of a situation. If you have run out of things to say/do then research or go talk to someone else.
My parents were pro spanking and would haul out the strap first and ask questions later. It just made me hate them at that moment...and I mean hate. I also learned real fast that I could create time and space by burying their weapons of choice in the field across the street the moment they turned their back.

But that's your experience and every child is different. I mean really, my parents spanked me and I didn't hate them for it.

[transplant99]

One word...tasers.

[Thunderball]

Talk about a strawman argument... spanking makes you a sexual deviant because a few people have become them who were spanked? Sounds like the same braintrust that proclaimed masturbation makes people go blind. Yet, I don't think 95% of our population are blind sex deviants.

Spanking with "tools" is never necessary, and crosses the line between discipline and abuse. A good rule of thumb seems to be that if the hand to the ass alone doesn't illicit a desired response, then the child has outgrown the punishment and is ready for something new. By then, they're likely over 5 and ready for privledge based or psychological punishment.

Nothing makes me laugh more than watching a "new age" parent rationalizing to a toddler why their activity is wrong and essentially begging them to stop. Instead of showing dominance, the parent is lowering themselves to the child's level, or worse.

Don't like spanking? fine. Don't believe in it? good enough... but clinging to studies like this and coming to rash conclusions is ridiculous. Of course, spanking should be reserved for the most grievous of offenses, and not for everyday early childhood stupidity.

[Crispy's Critter]

Originally Posted by Thunderball

Talk about a strawman argument... spanking makes you a sexual deviant because a few people have become them who were spanked? Sounds like the same braintrust that proclaimed masturbation makes people go blind. Yet, I don't think 95% of our population are blind sex deviants.

I dunno.....I have to get a stronger prescription for my glasses every year, so there might be something to it

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by Cheese

Seriously folks...spanking is never an option. If a child escalates to a moment that YOU think its necessary, walk away. Come back in a moment of sanity and deal with it as a good parent would. There is nothing that works better than a parent who is lucid and clear of voice who has the ability to explain to a child the rights and wrongs of a situation. If you have run out of things to say/do then research or go talk to someone else.
My parents were pro spanking and would haul out the strap first and ask questions later. It just made me hate them at that moment...and I mean hate. I also learned real fast that I could create time and space by burying their weapons of choice in the field across the street the moment they turned their back.

Do you think conversation is an effective method of keeping a 2 year old from walking into the street?

I found spanking (without a 'strap' or any other 'weapon' mind you) to be pretty effective in teaching toddlers to avoid dangerous activities. I mean, you could let them learn the lesson from themeselves but I don't think dog maulings or pedestrian-motor vehicle collisions or electrocutions or severe burns are necessary to teach those lessons.

Seriously...you've made a choice....it worked for you. Cut out the elitist attitude about it. There are parents out there that are GOOD parents who have, on occasion, used a swat across the ass as a deterrent. I'm not evil and my kids don't hate me.

[Cheese]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Do you think conversation is an effective method of keeping a 2 year old from walking into the street?

I found spanking (without a 'strap' or any other 'weapon' mind you) to be pretty effective in teaching toddlers to avoid dangerous activities. I mean, you could let them learn the lesson from themeselves but I don't think dog maulings or pedestrian-motor vehicle collisions or electrocutions or severe burns are necessary to teach those lessons.

Seriously...you've made a choice....it worked for you. Cut out the elitist attitude about it. There are parents out there that are GOOD parents who have, on occasion, used a swat across the ass as a deterrent. I'm not evil and my kids don't hate me.

Elitest attitude? I doubt it. I simply dont think that a swat on the ass...or any other part of your kids body makes one iota of difference when they decide to make a run for the street. They are testing you, you show them your ability to teach and understand, by use of force. Chances are high that if you use it once to get your point across you will continue to use force. Its called the easy way out.

[Cheese]

Originally Posted by Thunderball

Talk about a strawman argument... spanking makes you a sexual deviant because a few people have become them who were spanked? Sounds like the same braintrust that proclaimed masturbation makes people go blind. Yet, I don't think 95% of our population are blind sex deviants.

Spanking with "tools" is never necessary, and crosses the line between discipline and abuse. A good rule of thumb seems to be that if the hand to the ass alone doesn't illicit a desired response, then the child has outgrown the punishment and is ready for something new. By then, they're likely over 5 and ready for privledge based or psychological punishment.

Nothing makes me laugh more than watching a "new age" parent rationalizing to a toddler why their activity is wrong and essentially begging them to stop. Instead of showing dominance, the parent is lowering themselves to the child's level, or worse.

Don't like spanking? fine. Don't believe in it? good enough... but clinging to studies like this and coming to rash conclusions is ridiculous. Of course, spanking should be reserved for the most grievous of offenses, and not for everyday early childhood stupidity.

Geezuz Krist Tball...dominate your children? What are you King of the Jungle? Lowering yourself to your kids level? What kind of comment is that? Seriously?

[flamesfever]

Naturally, spanking when used excessively, can have harmful side effects. However, I believe most parents use spanking in a reasonable manner.

Child behaviors are unique and inherited to some extent. I believe the methods of parenting in dealing with those behaviors, which includes the use of spanking, are handed down from one generation to another. If spanking has been effective and useful in raising the children down through the generations, then it's use will probably be continued. If it's use or misuse creates problems, it may be eliminated in that branch of the family.

For the anti-spanking activists, I think more harm would come to society by legislating against it than by allowing it's continued use as an effective tool in raising children.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by fotze

I think the way you describe it, it could be an option for sure. I'm going to try not to but I don't think anyone less for doing it in the manner you suggest. Sounds like you save it for the more extreme circumstances to amplify the importance of the message, not to exert dominance over the child. There is 'elitism' both ways though, to choose not to go down the spank route, it means you are "new age" and your child is destined to be a druggie prostitute because you let them get away with everything.

Also, if you are to spank your kid, do so when his friends are not around. I used to have nightmares about having my friends parents as my own parents because I saw them get spanked, I was terrified of his parents because the hitting thing was so foreign to me.

I don't look down on people who choose not to spank at all. I did it sparingly...and it's long over...my kids are past that age. If it works for you to not spank, that's awesome. Seriously.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by Cheese

Elitest attitude? I doubt it. I simply dont think that a swat on the ass...or any other part of your kids body makes one iota of difference when they decide to make a run for the street. They are testing you, you show them your ability to teach and understand, by use of force. Chances are high that if you use it once to get your point across you will continue to use force. Its called the easy way out.

You think a 2 year old following a puppy into the street for instance is testing me? I think he wants that damn puppy and has no clue what dangers await him on that quest.

And if you're not being elitist please explain the last line. You are insinuating that you are better than me which frankly is nothing new for you.

I don't use force now at all. Nice try though.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by fotze

So your just gonna ignore what Obi-Wan told you? Unbelievable.

I prefer to use The Schwartz.

[Locke]

I like how this thread has progressed.

It started as an argument regarding whether or not spanking your kids has an adverse mental effect regarding their future.

Then the wheels fell off and it broke down into various more effective methods of beating the little runts.

It gets especially good when people start trading notes on effective methods of pre-teen torture. I thought locking the forsaken goblins in the furnace room was a neat plan. I'll have to try that.

I dont know what will get me in more trouble, locking the kid in the furnace room or the fact that I'd have to abduct a kid.

Its a tossup.

Whatever.

[Bend it like Bourgeois]

Originally Posted by Locke

I dont know what will get me in more trouble, locking the kid in the furnace room or the fact that I'd have to abduct a kid.

Its a tossup.

Whatever.

Nah, you're playing it right.

Locke's Boarding School for the Betterment of Young Minds.

If we keep this thread going long enough you'll find someone willing to give away ...i mean send away their 2 or 3 year old for higher education.

[redforever]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Do you think conversation is an effective method of keeping a 2 year old from walking into the street?

I found spanking (without a 'strap' or any other 'weapon' mind you) to be pretty effective in teaching toddlers to avoid dangerous activities. I mean, you could let them learn the lesson from themeselves but I don't think dog maulings or pedestrian-motor vehicle collisions or electrocutions or severe burns are necessary to teach those lessons.

Seriously...you've made a choice....it worked for you. Cut out the elitist attitude about it. There are parents out there that are GOOD parents who have, on occasion, used a swat across the ass as a deterrent. I'm not evil and my kids don't hate me.

I think that for all of the examples you gave, you do not discipline at all at that point in time. You grab the child and get them out of danger!!!

And toddlers should not be left unattended and put in situations where they are running into traffic, where they are being mauled by dogs, where they are being electrocuted. Yes, accidents happen, but it is the responsibility of the parent to do everything in their power to avoid those accidents.

Disciplining the child for almost getting into an accident seems arse backwards to me. Onus and discipline should be put on the parents for that.

[Sparks]

I think that the way you use discipline is probably much more important than what the discipline actually consists of. I'd guess that inconsistent vs. consistent discipline has a way bigger impact than whether you spank your kids or not. In the grand scheme of things, the actual way you punish your kids (as long as it's not physically or emotionally abusive, obviously) is probably not much of a factor in how they turn out - it's everything else.

That said, I got the wooden spoon growing up, which I think was a bit excessive. I doubt I'd do that to my kids if I wind up with any. But a smack on the butt now and then doesn't seem like a big deal.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by redforever

I think that for all of the examples you gave, you do not discipline at all at that point in time. You grab the child and get them out of danger!!!

And toddlers should not be left unattended and put in situations where they are running into traffic, where they are being mauled by dogs, where they are being electrocuted. Yes, accidents happen, but it is the responsibility of the parent to do everything in their power to avoid those accidents.

Disciplining the child for almost getting into an accident seems arse backwards to me. Onus and discipline should be put on the parents for that.

Do you have kids?

[redforever]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Do you have kids?

Of course I have kids, 2 of them, fully grown.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by redforever

Of course I have kids, 2 of them, fully grown.

Holy crap, the little goblins made it through.

Is it now acceptable for you to beat the hell out of them?

[redforever]

Originally Posted by Locke

Holy crap, the little goblins made it through.

Is it now acceptable for you to beat the hell out of them?

Of course you are once again offering your 2 bits of so called "funny" advice about a topic that is not very funny.

I don't believe in beating people period.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by redforever

Of course I have kids, 2 of them, fully grown.

You were able to keep them from all injuries and accidents?