Lunch thieves...

[prarieboy]

Originally Posted by fredr123

Our contract IT guy eats people's lunches. He also helps himself to all the birthday cake and sneaks stuff out of the catering we get for lunch meetings. Dude's not even an employee and is only here a couple days a week but sure makes the most of his time at our office.

I used to work with a guy that seemingly spent more time looking for free food that working. The moment a lunch meeting etc. was concluded he would swoop down help himself to whatever was left.

His nickname?? "The Seagull"

[metallicat]

Classic thread, I love all the stories.

Where I work, we have to be careful about messing around with food, even for practical jokes. A few years ago, someone's mouth went numb when he drank from his water. He claims someone tainted the plastic bottle on purpose. Our boss went ballistic. Obviously if that actually happened it's fairly serious.

In my case, I work shift work. And this pizza was ordered during night shift Saturday night. We left it in a secondary fridge until Sunday night. I brought no lunch, because I was prepared to eat my pizza. Did I make a mountain out of a mole hill? You bet, and it's going to get even bigger before it gets smaller.

[The Fonz]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Or do they...

....hmm....I guess that would explain how the short curly hair wound up on my lemon pie last week....

Is it possible to get crabs on facial hair? I have this friend, who thinks he may have eaten some pubes, he wants to know ASAP

[jam26]

There have been numerous lunch thefts at my company and it never ceases to amaze me that someone I work with would have the audacity to take a co-worker's lunch.

A friend works for a company that had a serious lunch theft problem. So he rigged up a hidden camera in the lunch room. HR found out about it and disciplined him!

[jammies]

I never put anything INTO a company fridge, hell a few hours at room temperature doesn't make a sandwich inedible, so why take the chance? You're probably more likely to get some weird disease from all the bacterial cultures growing in there, anyway - most of those company fridges wouldn't pass a health inspection, since they get properly cleaned so seldom.

What I always thought would be a cool idea, though, would be to have a briefcase that doubled as a fridge - you'd put your lunch in there, and plug it in when you got to work to keep it cold. People would be all "woah that jammies is one important dude, look at that awesome briefcase with the leather and all", but then I'd open it up and say, "Fooled ya suckers, it's Spam and Kraft slices on Wonderbread!"

[Hakan]

I used to go by this plan until I had horrible bowel exhausting food poisoning from some soup that I brought for lunch and had not refrigerated.

Trust me, having your lunch stolen is not as bad as two days of wishing you were dead.

[NSFL]

Originally Posted by GreenTeaFrapp

I'd like give a lunch opportunist an opportunity to try this:

Pure Cap is pure capsaicin extract with a little extender added so it doesn't self combust. As with the Special Reserve, we require a signed Waiver before selling Pure Cap and it must be used as an ingredient.

Holy fudge! I didn't know that stuff even existed. Oh God, I can see the screaming now...

You know, I could never understand taking someone's lunch. It's the best part of my day and if someone took it, it'd be total SOUL CRUSHING DISAPPOINTMENT.

[icarus]

This is one of the funniest lunch thief exchanges ever. It is absolutely true, I have a lot of friends who were working there while this was going on and they were copied in on some of the e-mails. I am impressed it has made it on Snopes.com.

http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/email/ham.asp

[Stumptown]

One place I worked had a notorious lunch "sampler." She would open up every container in the fridge and take bites and put it back. And she was the owner's sister, so nothing was ever done about it. One time she pulled out someone's shrimp salad that had been in the fridge too long, and was DEFINITELY over the edge, and microwaved the hell out it, sending the delightful aroma of cooking rotten shrimp through the whole office. To top it all off, one of my co-workers caught her using someone else's toothbrush once as well. ugh.

[OracleOfCalgary]

I really can't fathom someone stealing a bagged lunch from a company fridge, god knows how long it has been in there. In fact, a much bigger problem in the offices I have worked in is people letting their old food turn into biology experiments.

Which leads me to...

Rule #1: Food left in the fridge for more than 6 hours is fair game to be thrown away.

Rule #2: Food left over from company parties is communal property and is fair game. (Typically pizza or cake.)

Rule #2A: You can protect up to two slices of left over communal pizza or cake by putting your name on it, but you can't protect a whole (or most of a whole) pizza or cake.

Rule #2B: You can't have your cake and eat it too. Just because it was your birthday doesn't mean you automatically get to take the rest of the cake home.

Rule #3: Umarked pizza or cake is fair game, because people will assume it is left overs from a party (See 2.)

Rule #4: Lunch bags are always out of bounds.

Rule #5: If you were previously distributing the food to all takers, then it is fair game. (For example, if you buy a box of fudgisicles and go around handing them out, then put them in the freezer, people will assume they are free for the taking.)

Rule #6: It is never OK to spike food. Sending someone to the hospital is not fair retaliation for them eating your twinkie.

[4X4]

What are the rules on condiments? If I brought mustard or hot sauce or ranch or some good oil and balsamic (stuff is not cheap) because I'm hopelessly addicted to said condiments, can other people use them? Do I put my name on them? Am I cheap for not sharing?

[metallicat]

Rule #7 - Bring your own effing lunch.

[metallicat]

Originally Posted by 4X4

What are the rules on condiments? If I brought mustard or hot sauce or ranch or some good oil and balsamic (stuff is not cheap) because I'm hopelessly addicted to said condiments, can other people use them? Do I put my name on them? Am I cheap for not sharing?

I think that stuff is more fair game than actual food. Moreso the mustard than balsamic dressing though.

[Locke]

I dont know about you guys, but in my office I have my own water-cooler and it has a little private fridge in the base.....so I dont have these problems....

[4X4]

Do people go into your office and fill their cups?

[RougeUnderoos]

This whole thread is one barf-o-rama after another. Eating a sandwich out of the fridge is like eating a sandwich some guy on the street gives you. No thanks.

That snopes article icarus posted is hilarious.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Do people go into your office and fill their cups?

Not if they dont want to be murdered on the spot.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

This whole thread is one barf-o-rama after another. Eating a sandwich out of the fridge is like eating a sandwich some guy on the street gives you. No thanks.

That snopes article icarus posted is hilarious.

Whats wrong with giving someone a sandwich on the street? There was a bum that lived in the alley behind my flat. I used to stop at the bar and get a panino on my way home. One day the guy scratched his face while assembling my sandwich. The bum got that one. He appreciated it.

[metallicat]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

This whole thread is one barf-o-rama after another. Eating a sandwich out of the fridge is like eating a sandwich some guy on the street gives you. No thanks.

That snopes article icarus posted is hilarious.

I have a story that sort of relates to that. When I was in drivers training for my Class 3 license, I was driving around with my instructor, in an industrial area of the city. Upon passing a Shell station, the instructor spotted a wrapped submarine sandwich laying in the middle of the road. Think +30 degrees Celcius, and a meat and cheese sub laying in the road. Those sandwhiches are gross enough when kept COLD, let alone warm. Sure enough, this guy had me flip the rig around, where he proceeded to grab the sub and eat it right in front of me.

[4X4]

That is the worst thing I've ever read on this forum.