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Old 12-04-2007, 11:55 AM   #1
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http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/12/04/appraisals_bad/

Ugh.. i have to do one of these by friday.

things like:

Continuous Improvement

(Describe how the employee has contributed to the corporate goal of continuous improvement)


Strengths

(Describe employee’s strengths and how they have contributed to the current assignment) and improvements over last evaluation period

Actions for Performance Enhancement:
(Identify specific areas needing improvement and development actions you feel would enhance the employee’s performance.)

Development Recommendations:
(Discuss your view of employee’s potential and recommend development activities within the current assignment.
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Old 12-04-2007, 11:57 AM   #2
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I always do amazing on self-appraisals....
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Old 12-04-2007, 12:03 PM   #3
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I've got to do these every trimester. Generally it is a waste of time. My department has 8 people in it, including the project manager doing the assessing. Everyone has a pretty good idea where they stand at all times.
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Old 12-04-2007, 12:12 PM   #4
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I had to do a massive one at my last position. It was a 30 page self analysis that broke down everything right down to the color and consistancy of your poop.

Your direct supervisor also had to do one, that also involved him talking to people in your department, and in different departments that you interact with.

Then he had to talk to a client that I picked, a client that he picked and a client that you both picked.

It would have been an amazing thing, but at the end of the day my supervisor ran out of steam, complained that it was too much work and took me out for a beer and we talked about hockey.
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Old 12-04-2007, 12:14 PM   #5
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I think everyone should have to do a self compliment sandwich.

You know, a positive followed by a negative and then ended with a positive.

So lets do one on me

Hmm lets see

I have all of my teeth

Hmmm a negative, a negative

After chili night I smell like a wet dog, yeah really gross

A positive

hmmmmm

I really knocked that meeting with the cleveland manager out of the park

Oh wait the cleveland manager was my boss in Calgary with a mustache glued to his face.

Yeah
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Old 12-04-2007, 07:18 PM   #6
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like locke, i always treat myself to the best possible Self PA I can whip up.

if you are looking to criticize yourself...remember to take a perceived negative and spin it up. for example...

"Perfectionist on work which other less committed team members sometimes don't understand."

and

"Dedication and focus on tasks sometimes limits social opportunities with other team members."

you see what i mean? it looks like you are criticizing yourself...but its a back pat. what form of criticism are you likely to get..."spend more time socializing with team and less time being dedicated and focused"? not likely.

good luck and let us know how it goes!
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Old 12-04-2007, 10:15 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McG View Post
like locke, i always treat myself to the best possible Self PA I can whip up.

if you are looking to criticize yourself...remember to take a perceived negative and spin it up. for example...

"Perfectionist on work which other less committed team members sometimes don't understand."

and

"Dedication and focus on tasks sometimes limits social opportunities with other team members."

you see what i mean? it looks like you are criticizing yourself...but its a back pat. what form of criticism are you likely to get..."spend more time socializing with team and less time being dedicated and focused"? not likely.

good luck and let us know how it goes!
One theory is that if you don't leave room for improvment there is no reason to give financial rewards when different goals are met...just saying be careful about calling yourself perfect.
I just left a company that was all about these self reviews. I'm not sure how much weight they carried but I made sure that I wasn't making them feel that what they were getting was the ceiling.
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Old 12-05-2007, 07:56 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by McG View Post

"Perfectionist on work which other less committed team members sometimes don't understand."

and

"Dedication and focus on tasks sometimes limits social opportunities with other team members."
IMO... i try NOT to those... they are so... cliche
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Old 12-05-2007, 08:31 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McG View Post
if you are looking to criticize yourself...remember to take a perceived negative and spin it up. for example...

"Perfectionist on work which other less committed team members sometimes don't understand."

and

"Dedication and focus on tasks sometimes limits social opportunities with other team members."
Geez the self appraisal example from the guy who loses it one day and shoots up his office.

I've always wanted to see that.

And then they do the external appraisal of you by other people in the department and they come back with

"He's a little too positive of his own vision"

"Man, his eye's are like death all cold and flinty. He looks at me and my soul screams"

"Tick tick tick"
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Old 12-05-2007, 09:04 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McG View Post
like locke, i always treat myself to the best possible Self PA I can whip up.

if you are looking to criticize yourself...remember to take a perceived negative and spin it up. for example...

"Perfectionist on work which other less committed team members sometimes don't understand."

and

"Dedication and focus on tasks sometimes limits social opportunities with other team members."

you see what i mean? it looks like you are criticizing yourself...but its a back pat. what form of criticism are you likely to get..."spend more time socializing with team and less time being dedicated and focused"? not likely.

good luck and let us know how it goes!

Do those really work as negatives? IMO they sound really cliche and sound like complete BS, but what do I know, I'm not in the corperate world yet.

Plus, they sound exactly how you described them; as a way to sound like you're saying a negative, while actually giving yourself a pat on the back. To me, those two examples are transparant as hell, and don't sound negative in the slightest.
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Old 12-05-2007, 09:08 AM   #11
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In fact, I notice that whenever people are asked to say something negative about themselves in the workplace, people almost always say something about either a) being a perfectionist, or b) working too hard, lol.
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Old 12-05-2007, 09:51 AM   #12
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I like talking about myself in the third person (which is creepy enough) and then going on about bad stuff that happened to people who have thwarted me in the past....

"Jammies does not take well to criticism, which is a definite negative. For example, when denied a raise in 1999 and told he wasn't deserving of one, he razed his boss's house to the ground, ate his family and surgically altered his dog into a cat."
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Old 12-05-2007, 12:08 PM   #13
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^^^^
Its the old uncertainty principle, the more you measure something, the more you disturb it. The problem isn't the tool so much as how it is being implemented.

The point of these things is to try and tie the day to day goals of individuals to the overarching vision of the company. Which, should be a good thing.

When you complete them, you are supposed to be able to see your style emerging compared to what the company wants - and therefore should be able to shake out where you have played to your strengths, and where you ran into your weaknessess. From there, it is easier for you and your manager to have you on tasks that you can actually add value doing, and set some personal development goals for the upcoming year, and put into place some contingencies to deal with any gaps that are revealed.

And yeah, those "make a negative look positive" statements do nothing more than show that you have low self awareness. Trust me, that is not a good thing. Your boss can see what you do, and can see what your strengths and weaknesses are. You honestly think that they fall for that type of crap? If you get away with it you have a terrible manager and you shouldn't expect much in the way of a bonus or a look at a promotion, anyways. You might as well have wiped your butt on the paper and then submitted it.

BSing like this is typically saved for an interview where they won't necessarily call you on it, but everyone knows that it is just fluff - it is very political and non-confrontational language. It is the exact type of thing that destroys what this process intends to create.

My best advice is to do two things. Summarize where you met or exceeded clear expected goals that helped add value, as well as where you achieved some unexpected value adds. That is the easy part. Second, do some real introspection and be as honest as possible with the results. This is the side of things that most people stuggle with (i.e. make up lame answers that don't really say anything other than trying to make themselves look good).

The process is trying to shake out as many intangibles as it can, along with trying to measure quantifiable performance, so honesty is key. Shedding real insight on 'soft' or 'non-quantifiable' skills/performance shows high "emotional IQ", which is not only tough to find, but is something that the highest performing executives possess and most organizations will identify, groom, and reward over the long term.

Think of this - give your message mixed with facts and feelings.

Its hard to do this sometimes based on how these things can be formatted, but try your best.
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Old 12-05-2007, 12:35 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch View Post
I think everyone should have to do a self compliment sandwich.

You know, a positive followed by a negative and then ended with a positive.

So lets do one on me

Hmm lets see

I have all of my teeth

Hmmm a negative, a negative

After chili night I smell like a wet dog, yeah really gross

A positive

hmmmmm

I really knocked that meeting with the cleveland manager out of the park

Oh wait the cleveland manager was my boss in Calgary with a mustache glued to his face.

Yeah
You look like Snoopy and it makes me smile.
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Old 12-05-2007, 01:11 PM   #15
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Honestly, the last time I had to fill out one fo these I wrote:

"I rule, and deserve a raise and a promotion and then a raise again."

When I handed it in my boss understandably had questions and concerns. I just told him, there is no way to objectively fill that out without a bunch of hackneyed and cliché BS that is essentially just blowing smoke up my own ass along with yours. Waste of time.

If you want to evaluate me, sit down and talk to me and make up your own mind or look at my work and see for yourself.

I hate self-appraisals.

What? You're too lazy to even evaluate me yourself? Weak.
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Old 12-05-2007, 01:34 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke View Post
Honestly, the last time I had to fill out one fo these I wrote:

"I rule, and deserve a raise and a promotion and then a raise again."

When I handed it in my boss understandably had questions and concerns. I just told him, there is no way to objectively fill that out without a bunch of hackneyed and cliché BS that is essentially just blowing smoke up my own ass along with yours. Waste of time.

If you want to evaluate me, sit down and talk to me and make up your own mind or look at my work and see for yourself.

I hate self-appraisals.

What? You're too lazy to even evaluate me yourself? Weak.
Problem is that it's the boss that 5 levels above me that wants all these self-evaluations. My immediate boss doesn't want to read mine. He doesn't even want to write his own for his boss!

So far I have...

Improvement:
Always looking for ways to improve processes and very helpful and to others and provides excellent customer service

Strengths:
Is very focused and has improved with her attention to detail. She is very flexible, and takes on any task given to her without hesitation and completely follows through. Requires little supervision, is cooperative, courteous and professional when dealing with others.

Enhancement:

Will benefit from continuing to place her focus on detail and consistency in the quality of his work. Asking questions and seeking clarification on work processes from subject matter experts will greatly aid in increasing her understanding of work processes. Additional focus on the official procedures will help absorb more of the process-related aspects of her work.







BLAH!!

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Old 12-05-2007, 01:37 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by GirlySports View Post
Problem is that it's the boss that 5 levels above me that wants all these self-evaluations. My immediate boss doesn't want to read mine. He doesn't even want to write his own for his boss!
Dont worry about it.

I was summarily dismissed for that anyways. Apparently they didnt feel like I was promotion/raise material.....

You destroy a couple grand worth of stuff and all of a sudden the party stops....

Thats the last time I work at a retail store for work. You're dead to me retail!!!
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Old 12-05-2007, 01:44 PM   #18
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Will benefit from continuing to place her focus on detail and consistency in the quality of his work.
might want to re-think the sex-change operation in that sentence....
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Old 12-05-2007, 01:47 PM   #19
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Dont worry about it.

I was summarily dismissed for that anyways. Apparently they didnt feel like I was promotion/raise material.....

You destroy a couple grand worth of stuff and all of a sudden the party stops....

Thats the last time I work at a retail store for work. You're dead to me retail!!!
Now thats funny, my second job out of university was with Future Shop, and at the time they were into the whole morning chant 7 am sales meetings use the word Fantastic constantly puppy grinding mill.

I actually lasted three years there because I made excellent money and got to manage a store, but in the end the 60 hour work weeks, constant use of the word fantastic and the fact that I was working with people who's idea of professionalism was to stab you in the front instead of the back wore down my level of enthusiasm.

I'd start showing up with two days beard growth, bleary eyed and totally crabby and angry all the time. But it actually worked in selling to the general public.

My favorite line in the end was "Quite wasting time, buy it or don't I don't care about your kids and your grandma anymore"

I got as many sales as complaints so it worked out.
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Old 12-05-2007, 01:48 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlySports View Post
Problem is that it's the boss that 5 levels above me that wants all these self-evaluations. My immediate boss doesn't want to read mine. He doesn't even want to write his own for his boss!

So far I have...

Improvement:
Always looking for ways to improve processes and very helpful and to others and provides excellent customer service

Strengths:
Is very focused and has improved with her attention to detail. She is very flexible, and takes on any task given to her without hesitation and completely follows through. Requires little supervision, is cooperative, courteous and professional when dealing with others.

Enhancement:

Will benefit from continuing to place her focus on detail and consistency in the quality of his work. Asking questions and seeking clarification on work processes from subject matter experts will greatly aid in increasing her understanding of work processes. Additional focus on the official procedures will help absorb more of the process-related aspects of her work.








BLAH!!

At the end of the day, the boss 5 levels up will neatly stack these things up, sign them without reading them and send them to HR for filing. Unless your a total screwup, then he'll wring your neck over your answers.
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