The 27 most significant ways to win a girl's heart

[REDVAN]

Originally Posted by OILFAN #81

The Prez is the guy you want to talk to.

Just know it's not necessary to call him Mr. Slick.

OT: Where did he go anyways?

It is necessary to call Mr. Slick.

Re: where did he go. I seem to recall he was going to an arthritis camp for kids, and then he never came back. I also remember something about him getting hand surgery for said arthritis, but again, he never came back. I do miss him though, I got through a couple days of work purely due to his craziness.

[alltherage]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

that gpomp guy? lol, apparently that guy is an old regular at the beyond forum...but then again, that site is a breeding ground for idiots.

Yeah what happened to gpomp? Haha, that was really obscure. "greetings calgary puck residents, I bid you good fortune" and such. Just wierd.

[OILFAN #81]

Originally Posted by REDVAN

It is necessary to call Mr. Slick.

Re: where did he go. I seem to recall he was going to an arthritis camp for kids, and then he never came back. I also remember something about him getting hand surgery for said arthritis, but again, he never came back. I do miss him though, I got through a couple days of work purely due to his craziness.

Ah. I just tried clicking on his "find all posts by The President" and it said no matches were found. Same thing happened when I clicked on "find all threads started by him". Says he hasn't been online since October 20th! He was my favorite poster, lol!

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by OILFAN #81

For real??? That's awful Elle!

Which ones?

#9 - He wouldn't introduce me as "some chick," he would just say "This is Elle," and then there would be awkward silence cause the people would be waiting for a qualifier like, "she's my gf," or "she's a friend of a friend," or something. They never got one. He would just walk away.

#24 - He never got me a birthday gift, he just said Happy Birthday and then said, "Your friends were already planning something for your birthday so I figured I would just go to that." I suppose I should thank him though. I didn't realize he was trying to teach me to live without material possessions. lol

RE: The Prez, I thought he was 'in the sin bin' for awhile and then he just never came back. I am pretty sure he posts rather frequently on HF though so if you are really jonesin' for him...

[OILFAN #81]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

#9 - He wouldn't introduce me as "some chick," he would just say "This is Elle," and then there would be awkward silence cause the people would be waiting for a qualifier like, "she's my gf," or "she's a friend of a friend," or something. They never got one. He would just walk away.

#24 - He never got me a birthday gift, he just said Happy Birthday and then said, "Your friends were already planning something for your birthday so I figured I would just go to that." I suppose I should thank him though. I didn't realize he was trying to teach me to live without material possessions. lol

RE: The Prez, I thought he was 'in the sin bin' for awhile and then he just never came back. I am pretty sure he posts rather frequently on HF though so if you are really jonesin' for him...

I ain't jonesin' for nobody.

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by OILFAN #81

I ain't jonesin' for nobody.

You sure about that? You have already admitted to looking up his posts and threads... It's okay to miss him. Just sayin'

[OILFAN #81]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

You sure about that? You have already admitted to looking up his posts and threads... It's okay to miss him. Just sayin'

Now I know why you never got a bday present Elle.... Just sayin..

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by OILFAN #81

Now I know why you never got a bday present Elle....

Ha - I might be inclined to believe that's why I didn't get a gift if I wasn't already sure it was because there was no gift that could aptly show just how much he appreciated the ways in which I enriched his life. That was my theory at the time anyways...

[OILFAN #81]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

Ha - I might be inclined to believe that's why I didn't get a gift if I wasn't already sure it was because there was no gift that could aptly show just how much he appreciated the ways in which I enriched his life. That was my theory at the time anyways...

Well at the end of the day, him not giving you a gift eventually turned into the best gift you ever got.....you guys are no longer together.

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by OILFAN #81

Well at the end of the day, him not giving you a gift eventually turned into the best gift you ever got.....you guys are no longer together.

No, we're not. He dumped me. LOL

[OILFAN #81]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

No, we're not. He dumped me. LOL

That's what I meant.......you're better off without him.

[Dan02]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

I think I have dated a few guys that took some of these to heart...

well if you dated him i guess they musta worked. Was looking to spice things up with the GF anyways. number 27 here i come, downtown to browntown!

[REDVAN]

I am going to go check out HF in the next few days and look for the Prez, woooo!

[OILFAN #81]

Originally Posted by REDVAN

I am going to go check out HF in the next few days and look for the Prez, woooo!

There was a Prez sighting on HF today.

[Nufy]

Damn....

I gotta learn how to Roundhouse kick........

[REDVAN]

did anyone come up with some good ideas on how to win a girls heart? haha

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by Dan02

number 27 here i come, downtown to browntown!

lol

[PYroMaNiaC]

The 27 most significant ways to win a man's heart.

#1. Ask your man repeatedly if this outfit makes you look fat. Corner him and make him cry until he answers you honestly. When he finally breaks and says either "Yes" or "No", throw the box of kleenex at his head and tell him to wipe his snotty nose. Men love to get in touch with their feminine side.

#2. Tell your man you're going to go out tonight to see if you can pick up another chick to bring home for a threesome. Stay out all night. At 10am, stagger in the door with really good bed head. When he asks where you were all night, say, "I wasn't willing to share her with you. Not now. Not ever." Never say another word about it no matter how much he begs.

#3. Always walk ahead of your man, even if it means taking really quick short steps. If he has to work hard to keep up with you, he might begin to understand what it's like to have sex with him. All men crave understanding.

#4. Once a month, sneak up behind your man and give him a wedgy. The anal area is very sensitive to sexual stimulation and this will brings tears of joy to his eyes.

#5. Call him in the middle of the night for three straight nights to come and help you change your flat, put more gas in your car, and you've locked the keys in. When he gets there, make sure you've already taken care of the issue. Men love to play hero for their ladies, but they like it even more knowing that they've strong women who can take care of themselves.

#6. Recognize the large things. Men love their toys - like ATV's, snowmobiles, skis, computers, and gaming systems. Recognize how easily they are fenced. Men always appreciate having to get new. New equals bigger and better.

#7. If you're talking to another guy, keep talking. Then rub your hand up his arm and admire his muscles. Then turn to your man and lift your eyebrows. They only need a subtle hint to understand that they are only arm candy for as long as they earn it.

#8. Cook your man;s favorite meal. When the air is ripe with aromas that are making his mouth water, yell, "Dinner is served!" and then open the door for all the dogs to come in for "their" meal. Your man is taking you for dinner because you've had a hard day and he really likes to make your day easier.

#9. Introduce him as "Possible Candidate for Sperm Donation". He will immediately understand the incredibly difficult evaluation process. He will be more patient when trying to get into your pants and patience is a virtue.

#10. Play with his remote. Play with it HARD.

#11. Warm him up when he gets cold. Make a fire in the fireplace (or turn to the appropriate channel) and bring him a nice hot toddy. Throw his favorite blanket into the dryer for a few minutes. Snuggle up with him under the blanket. When the shivering stops, whisper in his ear, "I'm four days late." The best way to get warm is with fear.

#12. Take him to your family reunion. Sit him beside Auntie Florence. She has lots of stories to tell. This is helpful when teaching him how to be a good listener.

#13. Make him laugh. Men particularily love practical jokes. Call your cable provider right before the playoffs start and have them cancel your cable. He laughs and you get to spend more quality time together.

#14. Let him fall asleep in his favorite chair. Turn the heat way down. In the morning, he'll be stiff and cramped and sore. He'll either learn to come to bed at a reasonable time or go home. Common sense is often learned the hard way.

#15. Grow your body hair. I hear men really like girls that embrace the natural.

#16. If you care about him, tell him. Usually about three hours into your first date. Men like to know that they are wonderful.

#17. Everytime you're in his house, take nothing but cash or credit right from his wallet. Men like to know they are taking good care of their women.

#18. Buy tickets to his favorite sporting event three months in advance. The night before, make him a beautiful chocolate cake with ex-lax in it - lots of it. Take your new "friend" from the office instead. Men like the chase - they need to know that you have alternatives.

#19. Look directly at the front of his pants and smile and laugh uproariously. Men love women with a sense of humour.

#20. Give him one of your teddy bears. Make sure it sings. See if you can break the string so that it keeps playing and playing. Men want to have constant reminders of your affection.

#21. When it's raining outside, ask him to go shopping with you. Only visit lingerie stores. For hours, have the nice lady bring you beautiful bra and panty sets. Watch his eyes widen at the parade of lovely things he'll get to see later. Buy only period panties.

#22. Buy him Rogaine and plenty of it.

#23. When listening to music, insist that he dance with you. Make sure the next 9 songs are line dances. He'll think you're talented and you get a blackmail video for later. Win - Win.

#24. Remember his birthday. Remind him again and again of exactly how fast he's aging. Men don't like to waste any time at all so they'll appreciate just how little time they have left to squeeze it all in.

#25. When he gives you a present on your birthday, root through the box crazily looking for the gift receipt. When you find it at the bottom, lean back against the couch and sigh in relief dramatically. Then smile and say thanks. Men don't like it much but it sure is funny.

#26. If he's mad at you for using all the hot water for your shower, promise that you'll cut it shorter tomorrow. Never do. You need your shower time to primp and pamper yourself. If you're not looking your finest, you'll won't be able to catch the eye of any other "Possible Candidate for Sperm Donation". Men are very competitive.

#26. During sex, accidentally use your teeth. All men like a little pain mixed in - they just don't know it. Show him that you're open to a little experimentation.

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

#9 - ...

#24 - ...

Don't forget 27.