Human race will 'split into two different species' - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

worth · 10-26-2007, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Human race will 'split into two different species'

By NIALL FIRTH - More by this author » Last updated at 16:18pm on 26th October 2007

Comments (6)

The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.
100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.
The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.

The report claims that after they reach their peak around the year 3000 humans will begin to regress

These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.
"Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," says the report, which suggests that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance.
Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, according to Curry in a report commissioned for men's satellite TV channel Bravo.
Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts, according to Curry.
Racial differences will be a thing of the past as interbreeding produces a single coffee-coloured skin tone.
The future for our descendants isn't all long life, perfect bodies and chiselled features, however.
While humans will reach their peak in 1000 years' time, 10,000 years later our reliance on technology will have begun to dramatically change our appearance.
Medicine will weaken our immune system and we will begin to appear more child-like.
Dr Curry said: "The report suggests that the future of man will be a story of the good, the bad and the ugly.

"While science and technology have the potential to create an ideal habitat for humanity over the next millennium, there is the possibility of a monumental genetic hangover over the subsequent millennia due to an over-reliance on technology reducing our natural capacity to resist disease, or our evolved ability to get along with each other.
"After that, things could get ugly, with the possible emergence of genetic 'haves' and 'have-nots'."
Dr Curry's theory may strike a chord with readers who have read H G Wells' classic novel The Time Machine, in particular his descriptions of the Eloi and the Morlock races.
In the 1895 book, the human race has evolved into two distinct species, the highly intelligent and wealthy Eloi and the frightening, animalistic Morlock who are destined to work underground to keep the Eloi happy.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...n_page_id=1965

And go.....

arsenal · 10-26-2007, 05:32 PM

Ah.. it will be a joyous occasion when the lot of you scum toil in the underground mines, so that my bath water is warm, while getting hand fed by my harem of fine maidens.

HOOT · 10-26-2007, 05:34 PM

How is there going to be a enough time? I thought the blackhole would end the world in 6 minutes?

604flames · 10-26-2007, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arsenal

Ah.. it will be a joyous occasion when the lot of you scum toil in the underground mines, so that my bath water is warm, while getting hand fed by my harem of fine maidens.

As opposed to the overground ones?

Just wondering if you know any good cryogenic labs, I'd kinda like to see how this all plays out!

Locke · 10-26-2007, 05:39 PM

Its about time!

I've had it with about half of the lot of you hooligans and losers.

lifer · 10-26-2007, 05:40 PM

Who was it that said "all men are created equal"? I bet he feels like a tool right now.

metal_geek · 10-26-2007, 05:53 PM

"The report claims that after they reach their peak around the year 3000 humans will begin to regress"

ROFL... stupid report... I can see the mustard seed back ally from my window... TRUST ME... they've already started to regress....
________
Mercedes-Benz 240D History

alltherage · 10-26-2007, 05:57 PM

I can't wait for babes gallore and slaves gallore. My decendents are going to kick so much ass it's not even funny. Super beautiful daughters, super strapping sons... I'm essentially going to rule the world of nasty goblins.

alltherage · 10-26-2007, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by metal_geek

"The report claims that after they reach their peak around the year 3000 humans will begin to regress"

ROFL... stupid report... I can see the mustard seed back ally from my window... TRUST ME... they've already started to regress....

zzzzzzzzZZZING!

flylock shox · 10-26-2007, 05:59 PM

Hmm... so therefore gold-diggers are the only thing holding our species together. And to think I'd always condemned pretty bimbos who go after ugly rich dudes. They're like the meat in a sandwich where one piece of bread is a thinly cut heel, and the other is the nice soft middle piece of Texas toast.

Ford Prefect · 10-26-2007, 06:01 PM

I for one salute our new big penised, pert breasted overlords.

Just one problem with the theory ... beauty doesn't equal brains.

Kidder · 10-26-2007, 06:01 PM

I thought Horcoff had already made the split? Oooh... who has that .jpg?

This is gonna be a fun thread.

Ford Prefect · 10-26-2007, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

Its about time!

I've had it with about half of the lot of you hooligans and losers.

Slow day Ness? You're in every thread I open.

Flames in 07 · 10-26-2007, 06:07 PM

The NHL has already evolved that way ... right Edmonton?

CubicleGeek · 10-26-2007, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

Its about time!

I've had it with about half of the lot of you hooligans and losers.

Not my fault you're a goblin.

Locke · 10-26-2007, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

Slow day Ness? You're in every thread I open.

Well you open every thread I post in.

Yeah its been slow. I had the big midterm yesterday, so no school today, just watchin' TV and postin' on CP.

BTW Beer #1 is halfway done.

Locke · 10-26-2007, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CubicleGeek

Not my fault you're a goblin.

Touché!

Well, whos gonna welcome your new Goblin overlord? Huh? Hop to it!

Cube Inmate · 10-26-2007, 06:13 PM

Sensationalistic hogwash that will be long forgotten by the time that any of the predicted effects could ever be evaluated. The report's author might be a scientist, but that doesn't mean his report is science. It's conjecture.

Ford Prefect · 10-26-2007, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

Well you open every thread I post in.

Yeah its been slow. I had the big midterm yesterday, so no school today, just watchin' TV and postin' on CP.

BTW Beer #1 is halfway done.

I ran out of Drambuie ... moved on to Gran Marnier.

FireFly · 10-26-2007, 06:15 PM

What a load of BS. First of all, what about the average looking people? We all just die out? Secondly, like we're going to see the year 3000 with the rate the population is going. Science can't keep up to population and we'll kill the planet off MUCH sooner than that. I can't even see the worl hitting the year 2500, let alone 3000.