No Sex for 3 Months.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by HPLovecraft

But if you can't understand why someone may choose to do this with someone else, then, meh, I guess. It'll all go over your head anyways.

I understand it perfectly, which is why I think it's dumb. See, if you argue something from fallacious premises, it doesn't matter if someone else makes the same argument and thus agrees with you. You're both... still.... wrong.

In this case, one of the the underlying premises is that sex is something that gets better when you don't do it for 3 months, when in truth, it gets better with practice, just like everything else. Do you end up being a better hockey player by not playing hockey for 3 months? Are you smarter by not studying for 3 months? A better chef by not cooking for 3 months? By this "theory", your peak sexual performance is at virginity's loss, and it's all downhill from there.

The other premise is that abstaining from sex proves your commitment to your partner. No, not having sex with *other people* proves your commitment - not having sex with your partner just adds them to that list of people with whom you are not having sex. Abstention proves something about your willpower, but it has NOTHING to do with commitment. There's women I've slept with but feel no commitment towards, and there are women I've not slept with but would never betray. The concepts have nothing to do with one another.

Now back to the much more entertaining thread derailment.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by jammies

In this case, one of the the underlying premises is that sex is something that gets better when you don't do it for 3 months, when in truth, it gets better with practice, just like everything else. Do you end up being a better hockey player by not playing hockey for 3 months? Are you smarter by not studying for 3 months? A better chef by not cooking for 3 months? By this "theory", your peak sexual performance is at virginity's loss, and it's all downhill from there.

If you get better the more you do it, why do some couples who have been together for a long period of time say their sex life is stagnant?

Also, I'm not sure they're saying the sex will get better at all. Rather, it'll mean more and be more special. In addition, they're not doing it to improve their sex life, rather their connection.

The other premise is that abstaining from sex proves your commitment to your partner. No, not having sex with *other people* proves your commitment - not having sex with your partner just adds them to that list of people with whom you are not having sex. Abstention proves something about your willpower, but it has NOTHING to do with commitment. There's women I've slept with but feel no commitment towards, and there are women I've not slept with but would never betray. The concepts have nothing to do with one another.

Now back to the much more entertaining thread derailment.

Again, I don't think it's about proving commitment, rather deepening the bond. Which CAN happen in a non-sexual way.

I love playing devil's advocate. (Or in this case would I be playing the opposite role as it seems the devil's advocate would be for sex, no?)

[BuzzardsWife]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

Yeah, and finding a girl who is bi-curious can be difficult. Maybe not so in Calgary I guess.
It has to be a stranger, and it has to be all about the girls at first. Don't look at it from a selfish perspective, it will turn your woman off.

It has to be about your mutual pleasure. I don't know about the "not as hot" factor, because most women find other attractive women to be beautiful.........go to a club where bi-chicks hang out and get her to pick one out.
Then you make the approach...build some good rappor....carry a "me and my gf are out looking for some fun tonight".........vibe and say "hey, we are going to get a cab, would you like to come along with us"........kind of thing.
Then, you start getting physical with an innocent massage.......

You're kinda livin in Penthouse Forum dreamland don't yu think?

[4X4]

Originally Posted by FireFly

If you get better the more you do it, why do some couples who have been together for a long period of time say their sex life is stagnant?

I'm no Dr. Phil, but I doubt it's because they failed to practice long periods of abstinence.

Originally Posted by FireFly

Also, I'm not sure they're saying the sex will get better at all. Rather, it'll mean more and be more special. In addition, they're not doing it to improve their sex life, rather their connection.

I think this is the major point of contention for the side that's arguing that it's ridiculous. I still submit 'to each his own', but my personal view on this is much more in the neighbourhood of 'live each day to the fullest'. Not having sex when you could be having sex goes against the grain...for me, anyway.

Originally Posted by FireFly

Again, I don't think it's about proving commitment, rather deepening the bond. Which CAN happen in a non-sexual way.

Chicks are weird.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by 4X4

I'm no Dr. Phil, but I doubt it's because they failed to practice long periods of abstinence.

But it's probably not because they didn't practice enough either...

I think this is the major point of contention for the side that's arguing that it's ridiculous. I still submit 'to each his own', but my personal view on this is much more in the neighbourhood of 'live each day to the fullest'. Not having sex when you could be having sex goes against the grain...for me, anyway.

Is sex better with a random or someone you love? That's what it boils down to. And the more you love that person, the better the sex is too...

Chicks are weird.

Damn straight. Guys are weird too.

[4X4]

Your second response has nothing to do with the quote above it.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by FireFly

If you get better the more you do it, why do some couples who have been together for a long period of time say their sex life is stagnant?

Variety is the spice of life. If your doing it the same way all the time it's no wonder sex gets stagnant.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by FireFly

If you get better the more you do it, why do some couples who have been together for a long period of time say their sex life is stagnant?

If you can figure that out and a way to fix it, write a book and be a billionaire. Mostly it's a lack of variety - there's certainly plenty of arguments for monogamy, but biological imperatives encourage both men and women to stray and no amount of inventiveness with the same partner satisfies that urge.

Originally Posted by FireFly

Again, I don't think it's about proving commitment, rather deepening the bond. Which CAN happen in a non-sexual way.

I don't see how not having sex and doing (whatever else you do) can create a deeper bond than having sex and doing (whatever else you do). I'm definitely not arguing that you can't improve a relationship without necessarily involving sex, but it's not an either/or proposition.

Originally Posted by FireFly

I love playing devil's advocate. (Or in this case would I be playing the opposite role as it seems the devil's advocate would be for sex, no?)

Ah, but what if an angel is just the devil wearing white?

Originally Posted by 4X4

I'm no Dr. Phil, but I doubt it's because they failed to practice long periods of abstinence.

Yah, 'cause if you were Dr. Phil, you'd feed 'em some bafflegab about how whatever they mutually agree to must be right for them. But then, if mutual agreement was a guarantee you're doing the right thing, no one would ever get divorced.

[CrusaderPi]

A year later, I have to wonder.... How'd this all work out?

PS: Sorry for the bump, but not really.

[puckluck]

Originally Posted by troutman

How does this make the Honeymoon extra special? It will only make your Honeymoon extra pre-mature.

Since I couldn't thank this post.


+1

[Russic]

I bet they caved.

[GirlySports]

yeah so what happened anyways? happily married!?

[flylock shox]

How about a pool?

I say: caved in on day 23.

[Russic]

Caved day 15

[Crazy Flamer]

Day 4.

[CaptainCrunch]

Does oral count as sex. If it does day 3

[flylock shox]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Does oral count as sex. If it does day 3

Dammit. CC's always thinking outside the box.

[CrusaderPi]

It depends what your definition of is is.

[Yeah_Baby]

Well IF they did manage to hold out till the wedding, I bet he still hasn't had sex in a year. Doesn't sex stop once you get married anyways?

[Winsor_Pilates]

I never saw this thread in the first place, thanks for bumping. WTF was the OP thinking?
My bet us they caved, or went though with it and it messed up their sex life. No way going through with it could actually be a good and healthy thing.