How do I get out of the "Friend Zone?" Help!!!

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

She still has two sockets.

3,......

[D to the iddy]

I was in the same situation about a month ago, and I finally decided to ask her out to which she declined. Now it's pretty awkward between both of us. I know it doesn't help but my advice would be make sure that the rewards (her as a girlfriend) exceed the risks (awkwardness to the nth degree).

[Ice]

If she's never gotten jealous or territorial when you've dated someone, she doesn't see you as potential for anything but a friend.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Flames_Gimp

3,......

4, there's one behind the knee.

[nickerjones]

pics of said girl???? and i would do the new years thing , alcohol is always a good cover for everything if said thing doesnt work out

[Weiser Wonder]

I've seen it work, really well in fact. My roommate was friends with a girl for two years, finally asked her out, she reluctantly agreed. They've been dating for a year now and it's one of the strongest relationships I've seen.

Confessions of love when drunk is the worst thing you can do. First of all, it never works. If it works, your drunken demeanor creates a whole doubt in where the relationship is ie "did he really mean it or was he just really drunk?". Trying to make out with them when drunk is a decent way because girls kind of expect that anyway and doesn't make it such a heavy, emotional thing. Or just avoid alcohol altogether.

Another thing to remember is to create time alone together, it will get her thinking of you as an individual and probably romantically. If at that point, she's evaluated you romantically and she's not interested, it's not going to happen. Move on.

[The Fonz]

Next time you hang out with her make sure to set it up so that she walks in on you naked. Then just be like "OMG!!!1! How embarrassing!". Then she won't be able to get that image out of her head, and after a while she'll fantasize about it, and she'll wonder what your like in bed. Then make your move!

Get your sexy tan first

[CaptainCrunch]

^^^^

It was a great date, and we went back to her place.

And there I was on the couch having a great time, and then she walked into the room.

And I couldn't find my pants on the floor.

[Resolute 14]

Originally Posted by D to the iddy

I was in the same situation about a month ago, and I finally decided to ask her out to which she declined. Now it's pretty awkward between both of us. I know it doesn't help but my advice would be make sure that the rewards (her as a girlfriend) exceed the risks (awkwardness to the nth degree).

It depends on the girl, I suppose. I've had this issue in the past, and it was really straining my friendship because she knew I had feelings for her, but neither of us was willing to make a move to talk about it. Eventually, I did, because I didn't want to lose the friendship (I don't have many to lose). Through our conversation, her comments told me she didn't share my feelings. As part of the conversation though, I told her that I didn't view any guy she chooses to date as a threat to our friendship, and that I knew I had to move on. As a result, our friendship situation began to improve.

If this thread (the serious replies, at least) has shown one thing, it is that it is nearly impossible to give you accurate advice, as there are too many variables about the girl we don't know. Trust your instincts.

[The Fonz]

Lol, what's that from?

[Inferno]

Up until this summer I was in a similar situation with a girl I've had feelings for since grade 10 only this was for 10 years. But unlike you we weren't close friends prior to me telling her so things might not be as complicated for me as they would be for you.

Since we've gotten back in contact and I've told her we've gotten pretty close. We both consider each other close friends and both have said that we love each other. There was one night where we made out multiple times which would have led to sex according to her but she doesn't want us having sex unless we're in a relationship. She's even told me that at one point she was considering a serious relationship with me but right now things are too complicated with her barely having time for herself and just getting out of a six year marriage that should have never been and wanting some freedom. Not necessarily when it comes to sex she just doesn't want to have to worry about making someone other than herself and her daughter happy. We've had our times where our friendship has been rocky because there's other guys interested who she likes too but we've always worked it out.

But I would suggest being honest with her because I spent ten years regretting not telling mine. I think every guy has one girl that has something no other girl has and never will and for me it's her. I've liked other girls but when the chance with them has passed it hasn't bugged me like it did with her since grad.

I cant really say for sure how it's going to affect your friendship if she's not interested but atleast you wont live with the regret of never telling her and wondering what might have been. After I told mine she told me that she really wished I would have told her back then because I would have been a great boyfriend unlike some of the s she ended up dating. And she still tells me that there's a chance for us but right now just isn't a good time. So all I can do right now is just let her know that I care for her alot and not put pressure on her and hope that one day she wants to get back in a relationship that she decides that I'm the one she wants to be with.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by The Fonz

Lol, what's that from?

You know what I honestly can't remember who it was but it was a comedian at Yuk Yuks

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

4, there's one behind the knee.

I believe the reference was made regarding sockets, not pockets.

[4X4]

Hey, Inferno... I think you're getting played. And if not getting played, you're definitely on the fast track to friend zone.

[Jetsfan]

Originally Posted by GoinAllTheWay

I hate to be this blunt but, my opinon? Don't bother. You have been friends for waaaaaaay to long. She has shown no interest in that time, if she changed her mind odds are you would know by now. I'm not saying it's impossible but the odds are HEAVILY stacked against you.

I would put this into the same "is it possible colum?" as picking up a waitress or stripper.

I have to agree with you. Once you are in the "friend zone" she thinks of you as a "girlfriend with a penis." I made the same mistake in high school with a girl I really liked and now she's been married for over fourteen years with a kid. Don't waste your time and move on! Good luck!

[jammies]

Well I'm a bit late and all the good jokes are gone, so I guess I'll give serious advice:

There's nothing like straight-up honesty. That being said, there are different ways to express honesty, and just like with sex, women prefer their honesty to come after some foreplay (verbal, in this case). So try to lead the conversation into an area where you're talking about relationships, and personal feelings, and get her into the right emotional mood before asking, "Do you ever think about us getting together one day? I mean, we get along so well and you are so unbelievably sexy, I don't think it's any real surprise to you that I've thought about it - but have you?"

The key, though, is making sure you don't come across as someone who is going to be devastated if the answer comes back as no. Most women aren't down with emotionally needy dudes (they've got girlfriends for that), and you being that way is a sure trip out of the Friend Zone into the "used to be my friend but now gives off the loser vibe" zone. If she says no, just act cool, no matter how much it really hurts, and tell her that if she ever changes her mind, to let you know. Then ask her another question leading back to whatever relationship issue you were discussing before your question, and smooth over the awkwardness. If she says yes, you're in!

Even if she does says no, you've at least set yourself up for the long game. You've expressed an interest, and being a woman, she'll never forget that and you may be surprised down the road. Maybe she has another guy she's currently infatuated with, and once that wears off, she'll refixate on you. Maybe she was just caught offguard by your interest and didn't know how to react. Or maybe she's just a whacked out psycho like 99% of women, and she will change her mind for no discernable reason at all.

You never know, so it's better to keep the friendship going if you can, 'cause at worst, you can still hang out with her, and if she is hot as you say, that's an invaluable aid in picking up other women who see you with her - dem dames is crazy that way!

[calf]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Hey, Inferno... I think you're getting played. And if not getting played, you're definitely on the fast track to friend zone.

I agree. The "busy" line, in my experience at least, is a crock. It means she's not into you, and she's using it as a way to put you off until you get frustrated with how busy she is, and you move on. Or she finds someone she's actually willing to make time for out of her "busy" schedule. IMO, she's just trying to let you down easy, without actually having to do the dirty work. But maybe not all girls are the same...

...story from the same vein, which is pretty recent, actually:

Met a girl maybe 6 weeks ago in a group setting at a bar (through a mutual friend). It was actually my birthday shin-dig, so I was getting drinks bought for me throughout the evening. We got along great, and she made the first move to go and dance for a bit...me being a bit inebriated, didn't get digits at the end of the night, but got her e-mail from the friend.

We e-mail back and forth a little bit, and see eachother briefly in other group situations...and bring up that we should go out sometime. I get the "definitely" from her, to happen upon a mutually agreed upon date. Call her up and get the "Definitely, but I've been really busy these days...I'll get back to you when I have a better idea of when things slow down for me". A couple weeks pass, and nothing...I see her at a Christmas party last weekend, and say "Hey, how's it going?". The line- "really busy", and she goes on and on about how she's been working every day, working over time, etc. It's all a crock...if she's interested, she'd make the time, instead of making excuses. I don't have time for BS.

/rant.

[flylock shox]

Tell her you're gay.

If she's pleased, it means you were a great friend who has just become perfect. Find somebody else to work your smooch on.

If she's just shocked, that means there's hope. Get her drunk and slip her the tongue. It will play on her self-esteem if she thinks she just converted you. At the point of entry, don't forget to say "Wow, that's different." And at the climax, try yelling out "Dave" or "Jim" just to let her know she's as good as every guy you've ever been with. This also will make her feel good about herself.

If she doesn't want to hang out with you anymore, she's a bigot. You can do better.

Does she have a sister?

[Inferno]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Hey, Inferno... I think you're getting played. And if not getting played, you're definitely on the fast track to friend zone.

I actually thought she was at one point and confronted her about it. She was pretty disappointed that I would think she was that type of person so she told me that things were getting too complicated with us because she didn't know what exactly she wanted and she was changing her mind pretty much every week at that time and she knew it was affecting me so she suggested we cool things off with having serious talks about us until she figured out what she wanted.

Since then she has decided she wants freedom for now but said that she hasn't ruled us out of ever having a relationship. And she's asked me not to wait for her because she doesn't know when she'll want a relationship and I've assured her that if I found a girl who I liked just as much and something could happen I would take it. But that hasn't happened yet.

And as far as being stuck in the friend zone she says with her there really is no friend zone. She's dated guys she has known ever since she was a kid. The only guys she has said are stuck in the friend zone are guys who have traits she doesn't want in a boyfriend and that I'm not one of those guys.

[flylock shox]

Originally Posted by Inferno

And as far as being stuck in the friend zone she says with her there really is no friend zone. She's dated guys she has known ever since she was a kid. The only guys she has said are stuck in the friend zone are guys who have traits she doesn't want in a boyfriend and that I'm not one of those guys.

Ugh... vomit...

There's a Marilyn Manson song that's pretty much on point for her situation. As I recall, the lyrics go something like "I'm not in love, but I'm gonna #$*k you, til somebody better comes along..."

You're just getting a more figurative version of the #$*king than that which Manson envisioned.

If I were you, I'd get the hell away from that asap - it's the type of thing that will tie up your attention and your efforts pointlessly, and stop you from finding someone who doesn't just see you as a potential back up plan. Move along.