Find his phone number, and place ads on Kijji, craiglist, etc advertizing farm fresh eggs for sale- $1 per dozen. Let him flood all of the calls asking if he has eggs.
Put in the add "please call before 8am or after 10pm please as I work shift work."
1. Procure Eggs. A dozen or two should be enough.
2. Crack them all into a blender. Be sure to save the shells.
3. Blend.
4. Acquire Jerry Can.
5. Pour liquid eggs into Jerry can.
6. Wait for the cover of darkness.
7. Pour eggs into his gas tank.
8. Decorate his vehicle with the shells of the fallen.
9. Dont be afraid to be creative, you can smear some egg juice on his door handles or under his wiper blades, or write him a not on his windshield in ketchup, step 9 is hat you make of it.
10. ???
11. Profit??
This is almost adequate punishment for someone who is a full grown adult who doesnt know better than to piss in his own back yard.
__________________ The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
You can go low tech with your vengeance, simply pour fish oil into the air intakes (adjacent to the windshield) of the perp's vehicle. A nice note about the eggs with mentioning the cop's house will be good.
How many eggs I say 1 bag of flaming dog poo and 1 flaming dirty daiper hahahha ..... sorry but the guy kinda sounds like a loser, why would someone do this to his neighbours that he has ot see every day ?
Sorry all, although there are some creative suggestions here, there isn't anything that truly will get "even" with this guy.
Without any fear of lawsuit or whatnot, here is what you can do.
Watch their house some day when you know they are home and going in and out.
Run over in a "panic" saying you saw your pet boa constrictor (or python) crawl into their house. While you are "helping" them search their house, you are planting several eggs to ferment for even further retribution. Leave eventually while nicely telling them the snake hasn't eaten in a while so be careful. If you find it let you (or animal services) know ASAP.
Two fold attack. Make them have some sleepless nights and when that wears off, the rotten eggs kick in (not affecting neighbours had you done something OUTSIDE) their house.
My brother used to put dirty diapers down the chimneys of neighbors who pissed him off. Even better, is the fishheads, eggs and cheese combo. It creates a smell that is not easily identified. They'll probably think its dead rodents at first and call an exterminator, who won't find anything. Then the smell changes to something that stings your nose a bit. Its usually takes several attempts at hiring professionals to identify the problem before someone looks in the chimney. In the meantime, they'll be taken over my huge black flies as the fishheads decompose. Its disgusting, but effective.
We know that you egged our houses. One of us heard you talking about it. Everybody makes mistakes, and we're all adults here. We think you should do the adult thing and personally apologize to us and everything will be forgotten.
Sign all your names here
If he's got any sort of conscience at all, that's gonna leave a mark. He can either apologize, move, or deny it and suffer through living in a neighborhood that he knows is full of people who rightly think he's a jackass.
I wouldnt tell him how you know or risk getting your neighbour who told you into any hot water.
Whats your goal? Do you want to cause trouble for him or do you just want him to know hes an idiot.
If you want to cause trouble, then theres a million different pranks you can do, many listed in this thread, that could be one timers or go on for months. Then at the end you could tell him he shouldnt egg houses.
My suggestion would be to type a note such as the following:
Attention residents of "Blah Blah Neighbourhood"
Recently several houses have been targeted by vandals throwing eggs at homes. These vandals have been identified as residing in or visiting the home at "XXX Blah Street." Please be aware of goings on in your neighborhood and report any suspicious activity to police. Please keep a particularly close eye on the house at "XXX Blah Street" and any suspicious activity by its residents and visitors.
Deliver this letter to all the house on either side of your block and if you have an alley, then the houses on your back alley. Make sure you deliver one to the house where the eggers live. You might also want to tape some of these flyers up to light poles on the street and as near the guys house as possible.
This will make let the guy know that everyone knows he did it and hopefully it will embarass him to the neighbours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos
Write him a letter
Dear Neighbour,
We know that you egged our houses. One of us heard you talking about it. Everybody makes mistakes, and we're all adults here. We think you should do the adult thing and personally apologize to us and everything will be forgotten.
Sign all your names here
If he's got any sort of conscience at all, that's gonna leave a mark. He can either apologize, move, or deny it and suffer through living in a neighborhood that he knows is full of people who rightly think he's a jackass.
Collect gnomes and put them in a mini army along the entrance to his driveway, with one half way down the block like he's trying to catch up to the rest but the sun came out.
That's effing hilarious. Especially the last gnome haha.
__________________
Let's get drunk and do philosophy.
If you took a burger off the grill and slapped it on your face, I'm pretty sure it would burn you. - kermitology
Dion's suggestion would have the added effect of eggs shotgunned against his garage wall. 'Cuz you just know this kind of ###### drives a Civic with a big exhaust, and the first thing he does is gun it in the morning to annoy the neighbours.
The only solution is to gather as many neighbours as you can. Hang around his house until he appears outside, and then have several dozen people egging him at once.
Another great solution would be to show up at his work and egg him there.
Steal his garden hose.
Knock on his door, and when he answers it, proceed to beat him with said hose.
Then tie him to the front of his house with said hose, with ball gag, and call Zed. Bring the Gimp with you as well though.
4 cans beer. Any kind will do, but I figure a nice dark ale will add to the overall aroma.
5lbs Headcheese. Can be found at any deli, as seen below:
1lb cooked spaghetti noodles, in small chunks.
1 large tomato.
1 pickle.
blender.
Blend mixture slightly, you just want to break the headcheese, tomato and pickle apart enough so it looks like half-digested bits of food. Proceed to pour all over moron's car/sidewalk/front door.
When he heads out to work in the morning it will look like some poor chap had a few too many drinks and lost lunch and dinner all over his car/sidewalk/front door.
Nothing illegal, nothing dangerous, and I can guarantee you he's going to be PISSED and grossed out cleaning that sticky, stinky crap off of everywhere.
Find his phone number, and place ads on Kijji, craiglist, etc advertizing farm fresh eggs for sale- $1 per dozen. Let him flood all of the calls asking if he has eggs.
Put in the add "please call before 8am or after 10pm please as I work shift work."
Thanks for all the suggestions. I actually laughed out loud on several (rarely really do that)
Anyway I must say I liked this one best, also it may have recieved the most thanks. Additionally, it is something I would aqctuaaly do unlike some of the others.
Thanks for all the suggestions. I actually laughed out loud on several (rarely really do that)
Anyway I must say I liked this one best, also it may have recieved the most thanks. Additionally, it is something I would aqctuaaly do unlike some of the others.
Thanks all.
Food and drink to Ken0042
Post the ad here when you run it!
The Following User Says Thank You to Slava For This Useful Post:
