Suicide jumper

[Phanuthier]

...

[DuffMan]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

I saw a guy get hit by a car in Singapore and was completely decapitated. He was hit with such force and quickness that I'm sure he didn't have time to react, or was aware that he was hit.

Are you saying the decpitated guy may not have been aware that he had been hit.

[Calgary Flames]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

If he can have his opinion, I can have mine. I don't think anyone should be in the right to chastize another's actions under intorerable circumstances. He might not be sympathetic to them, because he believes he's reached the point of self-actualization, but to critisize,I think I'm in the right to critisize his egocentric beliefs.

The difference is, I can respect your opinion. Have you truly ever seen me dogpile on anyone on this site? If you want to talk about egocentric, talk about all the people throughout the years who thought it'd be fun to dogpile on me, for even the smallest things such as drinking a cooler ONCE, and my Leopold story... I realize it's just ribbing but all the newbies on here who want their foot in the door use it as a way to make themselves be part of something on CP to boost their "Inter-ego" of sorts. I'm far past being bothered by it anymore and it's almost CP lore around here by now.

But there are people on here who are as ego centric as I am, perhaps moreso. I'm just not afraid to be totally outspoken 100% of the time.

Phaneutier, I respect where you're coming from... but you aren't going to affect my personality. I am what I am... I have opinions based on my experiences, if my opinions sound overbearing that just because i'm confident in what I have to say, whether it ruffles feathers or not.

I'm honestly one of the nicest, low key, courteous people you'd probably ever meet...

[Flames_Gimp]

I think I want to commit suicide sometimes, but then I think about how much I like being alive, even though I probably have the worst life out of any of you guys.

I agree with Jordon, it's a ***** way out, and there is no excuse for not getting help.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Flames_Gimp

I think I want to commit suicide sometimes, but then I think about how much I like being alive, even though I probably have the worst life out of any of you guys.

I agree with Jordon, it's a ***** way out, and there is no excuse for not getting help.

Aww *pat pat* But you get to take hot chicks like me to games!

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by Calgary Flames

I'm honestly one of the nicest, low key, courteous people you'd probably ever meet...

You know I think you're a good kid.

I just don't like your responses tot his thread, that's all.

[Resolute 14]

Originally Posted by Calgary Flames

But there are people on here who are as ego centric as I am, perhaps moreso. I'm just not afraid to be totally outspoken 100% of the time.

That is actually a credit to your character, but the flip side is that you do open yourself up to be dogpiled. Frankly, I greatly respect your courage to go get help for your troubles, especially since I am acutely aware of where you evidently had to start from. I just believe you need to realize that "getting help" isnt nearly as easy as you make it out to be. You, of all people, should be aware of the mental state such people are in.

A related, and bigger problem, IMO, is not so much that a suicidal person doesnt seek help, but that those around them don't see the signs. I believe that recovering from a suicidal/clinically depressed state is nearly impossible to do alone. It is always a tragedy when someone does commit suicide, and their loved ones only see the signs after it is too late.

[Calgary Flames]

That's the tricky part with depression... It's easy to hide. Again, it's up to that certain individual to decide "This ****ing sucks, I gotta talk to somebody" My dad had no idea how I felt until I told him. He's really the one who pushed me to get help too because I was ashamed to get help.

Never feel ashamed about how you feel, if you or a loved one come to you and in the same situation, just let them know. Seeing a psychiatrist isn't anything to be ashamed of and is really no different than going to a doctor for any condition. They make you understand why you feel the way you do so you don't feel like a "crazy person" and will show you methods of improving your self confidence and overall self peace.

Along with my depression came huge ammounts of Anxiety, something i've felt since I was very young. I've learned that when I get that rush of panic/anxiety that this is how my brain and nervous system evolved since I was a child.. That's how I react naturally to things, ect. I've learned methods of focus and breathing to "take control" of my anxiety and it's something that'll last a lifetime.

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Aww *pat pat* But you get to take hot chicks like me to games!

Ah yes, that is a good reason to live!

[Lanny_MacDonald]

You know Jordon, the insight you provided in this thread is good stuff. Casts you in a very different light. You're a good man Charlie Brown.

[Buzzard]

Wow, this thread really evolved from the first post. Very interesting comments. I agree with both sides to a certain extent, but when it comes down to it, how can anyone ever know what a particular person can or cant deal with? Rock bottom to you could be peanuts for me, vice versa. As someone mentioned, there is no black and white. Some people have limited life experiences and when things get nasty, they are unable to cope, and see no possible way out, even while knowing help is out there. Similar to how a 4 year old loses it when a favorite toy goes missing or breaks. They dont have the experience yet to understand that life goes on in spite of it. Now, having said that, not every 4 year old blows a gasket either, right? Every mind is unique.

I'll give you an example of how people deal with things. My Grandfather, who had 9 children, lost his first son, I beleive he was about 10 years old, to polio. At the same time, my aunt was also stricken with it, but survived. Tough.... yeah, you bet. It gets worse. My Grandmother developed severe arthritis in her 20's, and suffered with it terribly, until she died of cancer. I believe she was in her late 40's. Tough.... uh huh, it gets worse. My Grandfather was left to raise 8 kids by himself, but was basically adjusted to that already I suppose, as his wife had limited abilities while she was alive. He successfully raised his remaining children to adulthood, all the while working his small farm, and doing carpentry work at the same time. I guess things went relatively smooth for a few years until one of his sons decided life wasnt worth living anymore. Rumor has it (I've never really delved for details) there were marital problems. Whatever the issues, he gassed himself in the garage of his home. His young daughters found him. This was rough on everyone, but I cant imagine the pain within in my Grandfather. Life went on. He remarried, and within 5 years tragedy struck again. Another uncle of mine thought life could never be good enough for him again either, and he blew his brains out, all over the inside of his house. Not that it matters, but rumor has it there was woman problems. He lived through it, and was a picture perfect old Grandpa for me and all my family. Death wasnt over for him though. Eventually, his second wife died of natural causes. By this time he was well into his 80''s. He moved on from this as well, living life as best as an elderly man could. What a tough old man. Having had hip replacements in both legs, his independence was deminishing. My Mother, and one particular aunt, became his caregivers. Tragedy wasnt done with him yet though. My Mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She had a year to live, and it was decided it would be best (obviously), to prolong telling him, in the possiblity that he may go before her. Well, that wasn't to be. My Mom deteriorated rapidly, and there was no choice but to let him know. I'll never forget the pain in his face at her funeral. Looking at him, and knowing what he'd been through, I could forget my own sorrow. This was about the end for him though. Nine months after my Mom went, he packed it in. One month short of his 94th birthday.

What made him go on? Why didn't he give up after the second or third tragedy? He always seemed a very happy, jovial man. You would never here a complaint out of him. Why did his sons not have the ability to forge on like he did? Was there a screwy gene there somewhere? He lived a rough, tough life growing up, a classic pioneer.....long before the later events unfolded. Did this help him deal with losing 4 children, 2 wives and who knows what else along the way?

No two minds are alike, and everyone deals with **** differently. I have no clue what went through my uncles minds. Did the second one not think of the first before he pulled the trigger? Did he care if he did? There are other suicides in my life, details being irrelevant. But the same questions always come up. Why could they not deal with what was going on? Its pretty deep stuff. I tend to think there's a lot more than a shrink could ever tell you about it. I believe they can help...yes...but everyone, absolutely not. I also believe that some people lose all thought process period. It just happens, they off themselves without any thinking of any consequences to anyone else. It's not that they are being selfish, they just react...and boom, they're gone. The skull holds some pretty fascinating, deep, dark secrets. We'll never know all of what makes people tick. Makes for great conversation though. A cool thread.

[C Of Cup]

If you go to Golden Gate Bridge and hang out their for 3 days, you will see someone jump off it. It's the #1 place in the world for suicidal jumps, they average 1 every 3 days and that place is flooded with cops as well(like 1 every 50-75 feet), i don't get it. I think the Eiffel tower is up their as well.

[Scrambler]

I'm sorry to draw this back up, I just wanted to let everyone know I really had my eyes opened on this matter by this thread. I still can't get that terrible vision out of my head and the moment keeps repeating itself. I realize that it will take time for this memory to not bother me, but I'm hoping that happens sooner rather than later.

[worth]

Suicide is extremly common everywhere. You just don't think about it because it's never reported on. the only kid of deaths you hear about are gun and knife deaths.

I have a friend who is a police officer and he responds to numerous suicides a week in calgary. It happens every day 365.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by Scrambler

I'm sorry to draw this back up, I just wanted to let everyone know I really had my eyes opened on this matter by this thread. I still can't get that terrible vision out of my head and the moment keeps repeating itself. I realize that it will take time for this memory to not bother me, but I'm hoping that happens sooner rather than later.

Just don't be too proud to seek help. Calgary Police has an awesome victim's assistance program. And yes, you are the exact type of person they are wanting to help. If not professional help, then try not to let this get you down. Meaning that you have to keep in mind that it was in no way your fault, there was nothing you could have done differently, and in fact you may have helped the next potential jumper without even knowing it; as the discussion in this thread may be enough to encourage somebody to get the help they need.

[MolsonInBothHands]

First of all, to Scrambler, I am very sorry for what you have had to witness. Hopefully openly discussing it right away helps you get past it more easily than bottling it up.

I think I can understand where Jordan is coming from, but with a little clarification. In recent years, I have had three people in my life commit suicide. Each one of them I judged as selfish acts. The torture these people put their family and friends through leading up to the suicide, and for life after, is unforgiveable in my opinion. Each of these people had a support net around them trying to give them the help they needed. They knew they had a problem - obviously. In the end, they chose not to accept the help offered to them, and left spouses, friends, and children to pick up the pieces.

The worst case, my wife's brother - accused of one of the worst imaginable acts a father can perform - and estranged from his family. As family, you have to provide support, despite incredible anger at the possibility of what this man may have done. He denied, and denied, and of course you question whether the accuser is telling the truth. As more details come out, he begins to threaten suicide, as he gets backed into the corner. My wife, and her other brothers, frantically try to get him the counselling he needs, both legal and mental, and deal with late night phone calls laden with suicide threats. I don't know how many times we received suicide notes, and last will and testaments via email, or notes scrambled on industrial paper towel. This wears down on the support net terribly, and eventually the net breaks. He called my wife, and her brother threatening again, they were both so worn down, they just couldn't react to it anymore. The following morning, he blew his head off, in front of his wife. My wife still has issues with "not being there" the night before, and of also the "relief" that the torture she was enduring was finally over.

I also agree that suicide is the most selfish act a person can perform. I have also considered it for myself. Similar to Jordan, it is having to witness the aftermath of suicide that keeps me from considering it any further. There have been some pretty dark weeks, where I wouldn't have performed the act, but I also would not have been terribly upset getting killed in a car crash. I could never put my family through that. However, I also realize, there are people with a lot worse circumstances that I have had, who don't have the support of friends and family as many of us do. Because of this, I can't judge all suicides as harshly as the ones I have been connected to.
It blows me away (sorry, poor choice of words. ) how many people are treated for depression these days. Several people I know, have revealed to me recently, (and I to them) they are being treated for depression. Hopefully this can dispell some of the stigmatism attached to it. It is nothing to be ashamed about, and in many cases has biological factors contributing to it. Nobody should ever hold it against you, that you are seeking help for yourself.

[if.away]

Originally Posted by Table 5

One day a few years ago, the mom set out in their van, along with her two kids and a school friend (who was their to celebrate her son's birthday). A few minutes later they were in a horrific crash, where all 4 of them and a man in another car were instantly killed. The husband had lost his ENTIRE family in one horrible accident. Instead of coming to this country to help fulfill a dream, his entire life and future had been completely shattered. He lasted one year, until he just couldnt take the pain anymore and committed suicide.

We also knew that family because we're from the same country and our community was affected by that story. We also helped with some donations. However you forgot to mention that the mother was the type of driver who never wore her seatbelt including on this occasion. Her and none of the passengers in her van had the seatbelts on. On top of it she was the one at fault because she didn't obey the stop sign, the other driver was innocent and was killed because of her. He also had a wife and a couple of children who were left behind because of this tragedy.

The husband who committed suicide obviously went through incredible hardship but he never asked or accepted any professional help. As time passed he became more and more secluded and isolated. There were lots of warning signs in his behavior and plenty of people tried to help him out by taking him to counseling. Usually a person starts to get better as time passes but he kept getting worse and more depressed.
With all due respect even before the accident he wasn’t the one wearing the pants in that relationship and wasn’t a very strong individual. The tragedy simply started him in a downward spiral that culminated with his suicide but one can’t help but wonder if had he accepted help/medication and so on he would’ve been alive today. In a way he is regarded as the guy that gave up and refused to go through life alone after the loss of his family.

[Scrambler]

Originally Posted by ken0042

Just don't be too proud to seek help. Calgary Police has an awesome victim's assistance program. And yes, you are the exact type of person they are wanting to help. If not professional help, then try not to let this get you down. Meaning that you have to keep in mind that it was in no way your fault, there was nothing you could have done differently, and in fact you may have helped the next potential jumper without even knowing it; as the discussion in this thread may be enough to encourage somebody to get the help they need.

Originally Posted by MolsonInBothHands

First of all, to Scrambler, I am very sorry for what you have had to witness. Hopefully openly discussing it right away helps you get past it more easily than bottling it up.

Thank you so much for your support. I will consider seaking help if I don't feel a change for the better in the near future.

[flamesfever]

My wife suffers from recurrent major depressive disorder and as her primary caregiver I have received an enormous amount of help and support from the Canadian Mental Health Association in Calgary. I believe their programs and services are second to none in the Country and highly recommend to anyone dealing with serious mental health issues to contact them.

[FlamingLonghorn]

I think everyone should agree to disagree here. Honestly, Jordon has been through some terrible times and made it out. I personally don't feel that gives him the right to say everybody should be able to not commit suicide. I think fortunately for you Jordon you never turned to drugs (ie heroin, cocaine, etc...) which made it easier for you to find help as you weren't consumed by an addiction. I've known many probably too many people who have committed suicide in the past 10 yrs of my life. I do hang out with a highly at risk type of people, musicians. I can tell you that what some of them have been through is absolutely hell. And some others you wonder why they did it? One such acquaintance, had witnessed his dad kill his mom, then was sent to foster care where he was repeatedly raped. He spent the years I knew him in and out of rehab for heroin, but he eventually gave up and i don't blame him and if you knew him Jordon I don't think you would of either. I also don't recall any of the people who loved him being angry at him for his decision because of what he went through in life.

Edit: as a sidenote one of my friends was driving when a homeless man with a suicide note in his pocket jumped in front and was killed. It really shook up my friend for months and we all said that it was messed up that the guy would put his death on someone elses head, but looking back its obvious that the guy wasn't in his right mind and really hadnt thought about that aspect of his action.