Bring your camcorder and offer to film the delivery for future reference.
If they want you to go to the hospital they'll let you know. But it always seems to me, that its more of a family event, and after they get things settled down at home they'll invite you to see the kid.
Send a gift basket and leave it up to them.
And what ever you do don't show up at their house with a knife and fork and demand to know where the baby is, that never goes over well.
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I'd stay away from a hospital visiit, these days they tend to shuffle people out of a hospital ASAP. I had a cousin who just gave birth and she delivered in the morning and they had her out of there that evening, no over night.
If you're really close they'll ask you to come by the house soon enough I'm sure.
You can't visit them in the hospital anymore. Only the grandparents of the child are allowed now.
I would wait for the invite before going over.
Exactly this.
If you aren't related, then don't even try. If it isn't busy, then they will let the rules slide a little for siblings of the mom - but the rules are pretty strict and I think a good idea.
Being a mother, I would give them at least a week. It takes a bit of time for mom to start feeling herself again.
Even though I spit out an 8 pound bowling ball out of my hoo-hoo I still looked pregnant for a couple of weeks and that doesn't do well to the mental well being of someone who just spent almost a year looking like a whale.
Having just had our first 12 days ago, I would say "wait until you are invited"; send a card/toy/flowers/box of chocolates, but don't show up uninvited - the last thing people want is visitors...
I'd give it at least a few weeks, especially if it is their first baby. Newborns can be completely overwhelming for the first few weeks and often visitors can compound to the stress.
We invited our friends with a newborn over to our place after the baby was 3 weeks old so the new parents don't have to worry about cleaning their own place etc. And if they are too busy they can postpone!
Only 2 people (husband, grandparents) are allowed in to be aids for the mom and usually are released within 24 hours if no c-section. I would wait at least a week to let them settle in and get used to having a baby or until they invite you over.
Being a mother, I would give them at least a week. It takes a bit of time for mom to start feeling herself again.
Even though I spit out an 8 pound bowling ball out of my hoo-hoo I still looked pregnant for a couple of weeks and that doesn't do well to the mental well being of someone who just spent almost a year looking like a whale.
Make sure it's a short visit... 30 minutes, max!
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Being a mother, I would give them at least a week. It takes a bit of time for mom to start feeling herself again.
Even though I spit out an 8 pound bowling ball out of my hoo-hoo I still looked pregnant for a couple of weeks and that doesn't do well to the mental well being of someone who just spent almost a year looking like a whale.
Make sure it's a short visit... 30 minutes, max!
I agree. And make sure to abide by the rules. They are going to make you put on hand sanitizer before you hold the baby. Bring a gift (clothes are great, zip up pajamas are best), and DO NOT GO if you have the slightest hint of a cold/flu. You'll be shunned and talked about for life, (and it's really not good for a newborn to be exposed to illness)
If you are pretty close with them offer to come over with a ready to go meal that you can make for them (when they want). Those first few weeks they will welcome any help, don't just come over to sit on the couch and expect them to host you.
Last edited by Bigtime; 12-20-2010 at 01:44 PM.
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I agree with Bigtime on this one. The first two weeks can be f'n exhausting if family is in town. Family won't offer as much flexibility as friends will, so it can be quite overwhelming. I would send something of congrats (even if it's just an email) and let them know that whenever they are ready for visitors you'd love to drop by. When you do show up, bringing a frozen meal is worth a gold star. I still remember the lasagna our friend made for us ... it was clutch.
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I agree with Bigtime on this one. The first two weeks can be f'n exhausting if family is in town. Family won't offer as much flexibility as friends will, so it can be quite overwhelming. I would send something of congrats (even if it's just an email) and let them know that whenever they are ready for visitors you'd love to drop by. When you do show up, bringing a frozen meal is worth a gold star. I still remember the lasagna our friend made for us ... it was clutch.
True true, my wife was very demanding of anyone visiting in those first few weeks. She would pretty much just say, "yes come over to see the baby, but bring up some dinner/lunch".
We got a lot of help from people with this approach, and we were able to take a few minutes each day to eat. Kind of important as you adjust to becoming parents.
Before I had my first kid I remember wishing everyone could come visit me right away. But as it turns out it's not like getting your tonsils out. As much as you love your friends, when you look like you've been hit by a truck, are partially exposed at all times (until you get the hang of things), and have a tiny alien-looking thing suddenly depending on you for its survival it's a little unnerving. Not to mention the hormones. Ugh! Anyway, wait for the invite and if the baby starts getting agitated then it's probably time to hit the road.
Make them a pre-cooked dinner to warm up some night when things haven't gone well, then spend a minute or two to see how ugly the kid is, and then arrange things for a later date for a longer stay.
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When to visit friend with newborn baby
