"Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior"

[Bigtime]

Formed FFWD and Herald scribe Jeremy Klaszus just linked to this article from The Wall Street Journal:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000...528698754.html

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.

I'm using the term "Chinese mother" loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I'm also using the term "Western parents" loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.

All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough.

....

Wow, no shortage of stereotyping going on in this piece.

[Cheese]

LOL...sounds about right...except for the Chinese/Oriental heads who used to hang out with me at the pool hall.

[Philly06Cup]

The article is too black and white for my taste. It's possible to not be a hippie do-whatever-you-want parent or a crazy-controlling-nazi mother.

[VladtheImpaler]

Excellent. Forwarded to Mrs. Impaler.

[burn_this_city]

The title should be a guide to raising a social amoeba.

[Locke]

All family homes should be run like a prison camp, lets get efficient people!

[amorak]

the Chinese: Nothing to add to western values since 1901. Except for the train tracks, those have been A+.

See, I too can make a black and white western vs. chinese comment with no basis in reality too! How come I don't have a publication?!

[d_phaneuf]

need the female version but

[Mazrim]

A social life is overrated, apparently.

[VladtheImpaler]

I'm with the Chinese. Though I'm not big on piano, but I am going to start working on little Impaler's poker skills when he is 3 or so... then the little prodigy can start playing on my PS account...

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by diane_phaneuf

need the female version but

Well the article does have a picture near the top with the author in it with her daughters, photoshop experts assemble and get her head on this meme!

[d_phaneuf]

if you want to guarantee your kid's success, train him to be an NFL kicker/punter from an early age

million dollar salary, and there currently aren't 30 above average one's in the world at each position

[pylon]

Stereotypical, yes.

Far from the truth, no.

I grew up with a couple chinese kids who had parents like this.

One, is now depressed and miserable, and footing the bills with his folks now living in his basement.

The other one, killed himself in his second year of University, because he had a low GPA.

Fun!

[CaptainCrunch]

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.

I'm using the term "Chinese mother" loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I'm also using the term "Western parents" loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.

All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough.

They seemed to be such nice kids, always polite, real over achievers, but the youngest daughter got pregnant at a young age, and the older one is on every anti-depression drug known to mankind and can't hold down a job.

I wonder if their mom and dad are ever going to return from that trip to see Uncle Jim, its been a couple of years now.

[Traditional_Ale]

Have any of you ever heard Chinese Opera?

They could practice ten hours a day and it wouldn't matter.

[CaptainCrunch]

I'm no cultural expert, but I remember reading that in Japan they eventually backed off on their kids because it was creating a destructive cycle in their society.

If you put that much pressure on your kids, they're going to explode someday, or become mal adjusted nutters.

[amorak]

Originally Posted by captaincrunch

i'm no cultural expert, but i remember reading that in japan they eventually backed off on their kids because it was creating a destructive cycle in their society.

If you put that much pressure on your kids, they're going to explode someday, or become north korean leaders.

fyp

[Bigtime]

Well this makes sense, apparently she also has a book out now and is making the TV rounds:

http://www.slate.com/id/2280712/

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I'm no cultural expert, but I remember reading that in Japan they eventually backed off on their kids because it was creating a destructive cycle in their society.

If you put that much pressure on your kids, they're going to explode someday, or become mal adjusted nutters.

So true. When I was in Japan I was 17, and I could not believe how much crazy partying went on with people my age there having been taught prior to leaving to expect the polar opposite. Japan rules!!!

[Table 5]

As an adult, I once did the same thing to Sophia, calling her garbage in English when she acted extremely disrespectfully toward me. When I mentioned that I had done this at a dinner party, I was immediately ostracized. One guest named Marcy got so upset she broke down in tears and had to leave early. My friend Susan, the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the remaining guests.

No one likes a drama queen, Marcy.