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Old 05-09-2005, 01:31 PM   #1
Bill Bumface
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A WEST NYACK, N.Y. MAN was found dead at his computer apparently the victim of trying to keep up with too many professional forums. Childress H. Wanamaker, 54, an account executive at a New York-based new media company, died of starvation according to the West Nyack coroner's office. Wanamaker's emaciated body was found by Loraine, his wife of 26 years, who told MediaPost she had been bringing her husband meals on plastic trays for weeks, but that he never took the time to eat them.
"He was glued to his computer 24/7," she said tearfully. "He was so afraid he was going to miss an opportunity to contribute a comment or start a discussion, that he just stopped eating." She added that Wanamaker's last words were "OK Picard, stick that in your pipe and smoke it..."

Computer forensic specialists from SUNY at Cortland discovered that Wanamaker was subscribed to 48 different forums and networking communities including one apparently having to do with the elderly called "oldtimers" and another apparently limited to just 100 people. They also found that he posted a comment into one forum or another on an average of two per minute every hour of the day for the past seven weeks.

"He felt under terrible pressure to be part of the online community," said his son, Lucian, who says he tried several times to get his father's attention and lure him away from the computer. "The only time he even looked up was when I told him I had seen Dane Madsen trying to steal his car out of the driveway."

Police found what appeared to be an organization chart taped to the wall of Wanamaker's den with lines linking small photos of people unknown to the police including a Tom Hespos and an Adam Boettiger. Neither is considered a suspect in Wanamaker's death.

"Once, I thought I had him," said Lucian Wanamaker, "when I said that mom had made cookies, but half out of his chair, he just sat back down mumbling something about two Roman gods; I believe it was Jupiter and Atlas having some sort of titanic battle. 'Let them eat PIE,' he bellowed banging on his keyboard."

Computer forensic specialists reported that there was no order or continuity to Wanamaker's forum postings. "It looks like he just sort of randomly commented on whatever was in the discussion string at the time," said Stephen Hall, CUNY-Cortland adjunct professor of intemperate and impulsive behavior. "He let nothing go by unchallenged by his own point of view, nor failed to respond to any other community member asking for advice or a new job. This consumed not only 24 hours a day, but also, apparently, his physical health."

In what must be a record, Wanamaker was linked into to over 15,250 other community members, many of whom he exchanged notes with daily. He also contributed to 375 blogs and was expected to start an online column about the impact of interactive communications on health, when he died.

A virtual memorial service will be held online at a date to be determined
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Old 05-09-2005, 02:16 PM   #2
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Well that just means more burgers for KevinGuy.
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Old 05-09-2005, 02:22 PM   #3
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They also found that he posted a comment into one forum or another on an average of two per minute every hour of the day for the past seven weeks.

Not even on bovine steroids and a caffeine drip could Cowperson come REMOTELY close to 2880 posts per day.

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Old 05-09-2005, 04:02 PM   #4
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Yeah that is an insulting comparison.

I wonder what boards he was a member of.
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Old 05-09-2005, 04:12 PM   #5
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I wonder what his handle was here??????
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Old 05-09-2005, 04:13 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tron_fdc@May 9 2005, 08:22 PM
They also found that he posted a comment into one forum or another on an average of two per minute every hour of the day for the past seven weeks.

Not even on bovine steroids and a caffeine drip could Cowperson come REMOTELY close to 2880 posts per day.

Well cowperson does pretty well for a person with a dial up connection and a Intel 386 processor with 16megs of ram. hehe
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Old 05-09-2005, 04:18 PM   #7
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Lighten up guys, I know cow will find this article + thread title rather amusing.
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Old 05-09-2005, 04:23 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Clarkey@May 9 2005, 04:02 PM
Yeah that is an insulting comparison.

I wonder what boards he was a member of.
I hope you're kidding. Cause I'm pretty sure the article isn't serious (it is under the commentary section).
Though who knows this may be (Immensely unlikely though) true, but I'd put my money down that it is a fictitious story meant to get a point across.
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Old 05-09-2005, 04:31 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by fotze@May 9 2005, 01:40 PM
Well that may be kinda offensive to Cowperson.
Why cowperson lost his sense of humour over the weekend?

Sorry to all of those who are hypersensitive and offended on Cowperson's behalf. Hopefully he will see it is a joke, and the obvious target was the sites top poster.

I could have used Jordon, but I hate seeing him break down into tears
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Old 05-09-2005, 05:23 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by hulkrogan+May 9 2005, 10:31 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (hulkrogan @ May 9 2005, 10:31 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-fotze@May 9 2005, 01:40 PM
Well that may be kinda offensive to Cowperson.
Why cowperson lost his sense of humour over the weekend?

Sorry to all of those who are hypersensitive and offended on Cowperson's behalf. Hopefully he will see it is a joke, and the obvious target was the sites top poster.

I could have used Jordon, but I hate seeing him break down into tears [/b][/quote]
"We are amused" and we take your thread to infer some lingering bitterness over the poor guesses in the "Cowperson to 20,000" pool with February, March and now April having passed.

I've been averaging about 1.5 posts per day here for several months and about 5.5 per day overall since December I think.

The day for 20,000 will be June 2 by the way. That's the right guess as that's the day I'll get back from England having left with 19999 posts on the board.

I suppose the good news is I just had a toasted bagel, some strawberries, some yogurt and I'll probably have a lifesaver popsicle later. I had a chefs salad for luncheon. I'll live to see another day.

I think my all-time high was about 65 posts in a day here but two posts a minute is in another league. That's barely time to say "Yes, No" or "Yipes" and scarcely makes the story believable.

I belong to one (1) hockey forum, Calgarypuck. Not even HF.

I belong to two Golden Forums and one general pet forum where I might post once or twice a day, usually offering condolences for pets lost, congrats for pets gained or posting some dog/cat pictures.

I belong to two Sci-Fi forums where I've posted, in total, about three posts each, all in the last week, inquiring as to the timing of Battlestar Galactica re-runs and some Cylon Theory.

In fact, if you want to see maniac threads into the 50 and 90 pages, all dealing with one television series and the meaning of its dialogue, you should go to sci-fi forums. Those guys (and girls) are nuts.

Here's one:

http://mboard.scifi.com/postlist.php?Cat=&...lestarGalactica

Hopefully I'll die at age 94, shot dead on the sidewalk by a jealous teenage husband as I've walked out of a diner after eating Salisbury Steak and onion rings and paying for it with a Visa that will soon bounce, my last nickel having been spent earlier in the day on a souvenier Expos hat marking the return of the team to Montreal.

Cowperson
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Old 05-09-2005, 05:30 PM   #11
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Quote:
Computer forensic specialists from SUNY at Cortland discovered that Wanamaker was subscribed to 48 different forums and networking communities
And here I thought I was doing bad with 16 different forums in my "message boards" tab in my favorites. Though I only read/post regularaly at five.

Quote:
He also contributed to 375 blogs and was expected to start an online column about the impact of interactive communications on health, when he died.
Anyone else find this really, really ironic?
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Old 05-09-2005, 06:16 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cowperson+May 9 2005, 05:23 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Cowperson @ May 9 2005, 05:23 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Quote:
Originally posted by hulkrogan@May 9 2005, 10:31 PM
<!--QuoteBegin-fotze
Quote:
@May 9 2005, 01:40 PM
Well that may be kinda offensive to Cowperson.

Why cowperson lost his sense of humour over the weekend?

Sorry to all of those who are hypersensitive and offended on Cowperson's behalf. Hopefully he will see it is a joke, and the obvious target was the sites top poster.

I could have used Jordon, but I hate seeing him break down into tears
"We are amused" and we take your thread to infer some lingering bitterness over the poor guesses in the "Cowperson to 20,000" pool with February, March and now April having passed. [/b][/quote]
"We"??

But no, I don't get why someone would be bitter about how many posts someone has, it was seriously just a joke.
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Old 05-09-2005, 06:23 PM   #13
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Wow, I am a member on more forums than Cowperson. Good idea for a thread!!
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Old 05-09-2005, 11:04 PM   #14
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Damn... I REALLY wanted this thread to be about me. I'm dissapointed Hulk, your groupie-ness is falling off. Shape up boy!
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