RANT: Calgary Minor Hockey - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

DementedReality · 10-14-2010, 11:16 AM

Hey I get it, some parents are outright difficult and ridiculous for coaches to deal with.

But FFS, stop treating parents like a plague on minor hockey.

Last season, coach told us that we could not talk to him 24 hours before a game or after. Pardon me? Who the fruck are you and what god died so you could take over?

Now, I have to sit and do a "respect in sport" course or they wont let my son play. Every kid in hockey has to have this program and watching it just adds fuel to the "parents are the problem" syndrome that the snobby and elite hockey leaders perpetuate. Like we dont know what kids are all about, they will teach us! We need to be taught why we are so important (exact verbage). So condescending! Apparently, (their words again), parents need to know our role!

We should also consider this course an important resource on how to parent our children! Are you kidding, I need Hockey Calgary to teach me how to be a parent?

Thats the other thing, its a rich kids sport and the rich "insiders" sure think they are a gift to our family and children.

Such a cliquey, elitist and snobbish environment and I cant wait for the day my son decides he doesnt want to play anymore.

Am I off my rocker or anyone else had enough of this?

mykalberta · 10-14-2010, 11:25 AM

I would agree with the no talking to the coach 24 hours before the game, but yah when I heard about this on the radio I thought it was crazy.

Frank MetaMusil · 10-14-2010, 11:27 AM

Is there a link somewhere to this stuff? Curious to know what the "course" consists of.....

DementedReality · 10-14-2010, 11:28 AM

im doing the course right now and I dont think they could have made it more condescending if they tried ... i guess "some" parents are dumb enough to get value from this, or they wouldnt make it ... but give me a break, Hockey Calgary has created a culture that treats parents like we are the problem.

the problem is the elitist inner circle of HC leaders who think they are something and the rest of us really dont know what they know about hockey, parenting and leadership.

DementedReality · 10-14-2010, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frank MetaMusil

Is there a link somewhere to this stuff? Curious to know what the "course" consists of.....

its a secured login, dont know if there is a public view.

WilsonFourTwo · 10-14-2010, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DementedReality

Am I off my rocker or anyone else had enough of this?

I know where you're coming from, but (I'm sorry to say) parents ARE the biggest problem in minor hockey.

The anger you displayed about taking a "Respect in Sport" class, is the exact reason that the class should be mandatory. It's the over-the-top anger displayed at every game, in every rink around the city that totally ruins the game.

Relax.....take the course.....be a part of the solution.

burn_this_city · 10-14-2010, 11:34 AM

There are plenty of parents who do cause problems for coaches. Unfortunately like anything in society we have to dumb everyone down to the lowest denominator. I'd blame the problem parents for this, not Hockey Calgary.

troutman · 10-14-2010, 11:37 AM

It takes about one hour to watch the videos. Mostly common sense stuff, but there are some parents who need to hear the message.

This is my son's first year - are there really that many parents causing problems at the arena?

They told us at the first meeting that there about 90,000 kids playing minor hockey in Calgary. Only one child out of 90,000 will make it to the NHL. That means "fun" should be the main reason your child is in hockey. They also told us not to let hockey control your life, and to skip practices and games when you have other things going on.

It was interesting/sad to learn how many refs and coaches quit because of parent abuse.

If you are worried about how much ice time your child is getting, you need a new perspective. One study showed that winning was only the tenth most important thing to kids in playing hockey, ranking far below being with friends and having fun.

DementedReality · 10-14-2010, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

There are plenty of parents who do cause problems for coaches. Unfortunately like anything in society we have to dumb everyone down to the lowest denominator. I'd blame the problem parents for this, not Hockey Calgary.

whats your participation in HC? kids? coach? have you done this program?

i dont know how anyone who has done this program isnt insulted by the condescending approach. seriously, they go as far as to tell us how this program will help us be better parents! like i need Hockey Calgary for that?

username · 10-14-2010, 11:39 AM

Personally, I think it's a great idea. Sure, probably 8/10 parents understand what being a "hockey parent" involves. It's the 2/10 parents that don't get it that this program is designed for and in my opinion, if this program helps those 2 parents, then it's worth it for every parent to have to sit through it.

DementedReality · 10-14-2010, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troutman

It takes about one hour to watch the videos. Mostly common sense stuff, but there are some parents who need to hear the message.

This is my son's first year - are there really that many parents causing problems at the arena?

They told us at the first meeting that there about 90,000 kids plauying minor hockey in Calgary. Only one child out of 90,000 will make it to the NHL. That means "fun" should be the main reason your child is in hockey. They also told us not to let hockey control your life, and to skip practices and games when you have other things going on.

It was interesting/sad to learn how many refs and coaches quit because of parent abuse.

do i need HC to tell me that my son should play hockey for "fun"? isnt that a "no poop sherlock" comment?

my son has been in hockey 5 years, i have never seen a parent display any of the so called issues these video's cover. i have however met many "association" insiders who are elitist, snobby and cliquey.

Rjcsjc62 · 10-14-2010, 11:41 AM

https://hockeycalgary.respectgroupinc.com/secure/

I think anybody can register. But surely you must have something better to do with your time. It was an hour I'll never get back.

And yes I agree it was condescending, and I didnt appreciate being talked to like I was the 6 year old, but saying that I hope my kid quits hockey so I dont have to deal with it is a little much.

I found it easier to grab a couple beers, get comfy and giggle at the fact that my dad would have totally failed this course.

Loob · 10-14-2010, 11:42 AM

I've been a coach and the biggest problem any organization faces is bad parents.

''I cant wait for the day my son decides he doesnt want to play anymore.''

Brutal

DementedReality · 10-14-2010, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by username

Personally, I think it's a great idea. Sure, probably 8/10 parents understand what being a "hockey parent" involves. It's the 2/10 parents that don't get it that this program is designed for and in my opinion, if this program helps those 2 parents, then it's worth it for every parent to have to sit through it.

those 2 parents who really dont know this stuff arent going to change from a video!

the video itself isnt what the rant is about ... the rant is the culture being developed by HC that parents are a scourge on the sport.

burn_this_city · 10-14-2010, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DementedReality

whats your participation in HC? kids? coach? have you done this program?

i dont know how anyone who has done this program isnt insulted by the condescending approach. seriously, they go as far as to tell us how this program will help us be better parents! like i need Hockey Calgary for that?

I played minor hockey for 8 years, my dad had the displeasure of coaching our team when no one else would volunteer. I remember jerkish parents whining about all sorts of perceived injustices. I also remember people almost coming to blows in the stands, or yelling obscenities at the ref and opposition. They always knew exactly how the game should be coached or refed, yet they were never ones to step on the ice and volunteer. I'm glad they are forcing parents to do this, maybe it will help calm down the people living their dreams vicariously through their kids.

DementedReality · 10-14-2010, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loob

I've been a coach and the biggest problem any organization faces is bad parents.

''I cant wait for the day my son decides he doesnt want to play anymore.''

Brutal

why is that brutal? im tired of being looked at by HC and association insiders with contempt and condescension.

Traditional_Ale · 10-14-2010, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DementedReality

whats your participation in HC? kids? coach? have you done this program?

i dont know how anyone who has done this program isnt insulted by the condescending approach. seriously, they go as far as to tell us how this program will help us be better parents! like i need Hockey Calgary for that?

Why are you getting so upset? This isn't about you. It's about your boy. Watch the videos and laugh and call it a day.

DementedReality · 10-14-2010, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

I played minor hockey for 8 years, my dad had the displeasure of coaching our team when no one else would volunteer. I remember jerkish parents whining about all sorts of perceived injustices. I also remember people almost coming to blows in the stands, or yelling obscenities at the ref and opposition. They always knew exactly how the game should be coached or refed, yet they were never ones to step on the ice and volunteer. I'm glad they are forcing parents to do this, maybe it will help calm down the people living their dreams vicariously through their kids.

sounds like a cliche ... i have been involved in hockey for 5 years and not once seen an incident in the stands nor even any banter amongst parents about anything negative about a ref, coach or other player.

DementedReality · 10-14-2010, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Why are you getting so upset? This isn't about you. It's about your boy. Watch the videos and laugh and call it a day.

just a rant mate!

just had to answer the question:

"what common sport parent problem behaviour is demonstrated"

edit: wanted to add .. its not about the video itself .. this has been building since the coach told me he wouldnt talk to any parent 24 hours before or after a game. this video just emphasized HC culture.

username · 10-14-2010, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DementedReality

do i need HC to tell me that my son should play hockey for "fun"? isnt that a "no sherlock" comment?

my son has been in hockey 5 years, i have never seen a parent display any of the so called issues these video's cover. i have however met many "association" insiders who are elitist, snobby and cliquey.

You may not need HC to tell you that, but I can assure you that there are parents out there that do.

I look back at when I was playing as a kid, some parents were unreal.

True story.

One parent, who's kid honestly had a realistic shot at the show, actually came into our dressing room during the 1st intermission of a game where his son "was playing like ****" and started screaming at his kid in front of the whole team and coaches. It was dispicable. So on our next tournament our coaches put a "hockey parent" video on the bus just so that this guy would see it. During the video, the kids dad actually started to cry and apologized to his kid when we all got off the bus. It actually changed their entire relationship when it came to hockey.

It was incredible.

So yes, a video can make that big of a difference - particuliarly when you realize it's you on the video they are talking about. It sure hits home for a lot of parents who are out to lunch.