The 5 Worst Plastic Army Men Of All-Time

[kmad]

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/...entry_id=62128

When I was a kid, I didn't question these things. But now I consider it one of the great mysteries of life: Why did toy manufacturers produce such a half-assed fake military force? It cost them exactly the same amount of money to make a cool guy kneeling next to a machine gun -- and yet there seemed to always be just one of those in the bag, and 20 guys marching in place. Below are the five worst army men of all time. Your little green army men memories in the comments.

Funny read. Brings me back.

[burn_baby_burn]

I don't remember having any dead soilders. Was that a US thing?

[burn_this_city]

The 1st place one is a guy throwing a german potato masher grenade.

[Kybosh]

I had some dead soldiers scattered in with the rest when I was a kid. Although, at the time, I just assumed that they were resting.

[Komskies]

The worst were the paratroopers if you lost the 'chute.

[Kybosh]

Originally Posted by Komskies

The worst were the paratroopers if you lost the 'chute.

Pfft, you could make new parachutes with those thin blue dishclothes or other sheets of plastic.

[Knut]

^ or with a bunch of butterfly wings.

[Slanter]

[Knut]

I Kid.. I Kid....

[DropIt]

I always just melted mine down over a fire and made it into ammunition for my real life war against the Red coats

[sclitheroe]

Radio guy called in airstrikes or the dirt clod artillery strikes, so I hardly considered him to be one of the lesser types in my day.

[Cowperson]

I used to eat the guns and parachutes . . . . . . like Godzilla.

Any normal kid does that. Right?

Cowperson

[sixpacked]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

The 1st place one is a guy throwing a german potato masher grenade.

Umm if one landed next you in your fox-hole, wouldn't you throw it back???

[Russic]

Quick story of deception and army men.

One day when I was about 6, my brother (15 at the time) took all my toys out of my sandbox and raked it flat. He then dug in an intricate network of trenches and placed little green men throughout them. He then came out of the garage with a small milk jug with some fluid in it. I asked him what it was. "Fruit Punch" was his reply.

He poured what I thought was fruit punch in the trenches and lit a match. We watched the flames race through my sandbox and instantly melt all the soldiers. Quite the spectacle.

I thought fruit punch was flammable until I was about 13 when I figured it he lied to me.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by sixpacked

Umm if one landed next you in your fox-hole, wouldn't you throw it back???

Thats why you count to three before you chuck the grenade.

Or cut the fuses a little shorter before you use them. (Even though doing this would get you in big trouble Mister)

[worth]

I tell you what, when I was throwing M67 grenades on the range in Wainwright I never had the desire to cook a grenade off. I don't think they let you actually, you throw the spoon with the grenade and it comes apart in the air. In combat it's different of course. But even so, screw that.

[Hack&Lube]

Originally Posted by worth

I tell you what, when I was throwing M67 grenades on the range in Wainwright I never had the desire to cook a grenade off. I don't think they let you actually, you throw the spoon with the grenade and it comes apart in the air. In combat it's different of course. But even so, screw that.

The marines manual teaches not to cook off grenades either, fuses vary from grenade to grenade.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by worth

I tell you what, when I was throwing M67 grenades on the range in Wainwright I never had the desire to cook a grenade off. I don't think they let you actually, you throw the spoon with the grenade and it comes apart in the air. In combat it's different of course. But even so, screw that.

I was surprised the first time I threw a grenade. After watching the movies where they did the arching big circular arm motion and then realizing that grenades really were pretty heavy, it quickly taught you to throw it like a softball.

They didn't encourage us to modify grenades, but they we had an experienced sarge who taught us a few tricks and tips to shorten the wait period.

but opening a grenade, not exactly safe, messing with the delay, not really safe.

Pulling the pin, watching the spoon pop off and delaying slightly, scarier then hell.

But it beats the idea of tossing a grenade and watching someone tossing it back at you, or kicking it into his piss hole and surviving was just as unappealing.

[Bownesian]

To this day, I have army men around the house - up in light fixtures, atop door frames and in plant bases - basically anywhere that would be a good spot for sniping.

[T@T]

Stupid plastic Army men are still cool even after 50 years, hell my 10 year old loves them like I did in 1970 and they never changed.