Funny little songs we sang as kids

[dissentowner]

Remember any weird crazy things you sang as a kid? Post them here.
I will get the ball rolling with one that had a few variations.

Great big gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts
Chopped up monkey meat
Perculated birdie feet
French fried eyeballs, stirred in a pot of puke
Eat without a spoon, how about a straw.

[Jayems]

A pizza hut, a pizza hut
Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut

A pizza hut, a pizza hut
Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut

McDonalds... McDonalds...
Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut


I always remember that, of course the actions too. No idea where it came from. Yay for advertising!

[CokeMachineGlow]

I can't recall any of my own that aren't very general; but I do know my mom has regailed me with some of her child hood songs from back in the day.. some of them are hilariously racist

[starseed]

Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro...

Kids are stupid.

[dissentowner]

Frog frog in the swamp
Where the skeeters and the fireflys play
Where if your a toad, stay away from the road
Cause the cars that go by they don't honk.

[Hack&Lube]

What was the 2nd part of Happy Birthday?

I completely cannot remember it. It was like a 2nd song that accompanied it with something about "many more" or "channel 4" or something?

[Hack&Lube]

Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin Laid an Egg
The Batmobile
Lost a Wheel
and the Joker did Ballet
Hey!

(when I was a kid, I made up a lot more extra verses or variations on this which I thought sounded better but I can't remember them all, something like: Jingle Bells, Batman Fell, Robin broke his leg, etc.)

[Delthefunky]

I'm a little piece of tin,
Nobody knows where I have been.
Got 4 wheels and a running board,
I'm a Ford, yeah I'm a Ford...

Honk honk rattle rattle rattle
Crash, Beep Beep!

Honk honk rattle rattle rattle
Crash, Beep Beep!

Honk Honk!

[Traditional_Ale]

I am the music man
I come from far away and I can play...
(what can you play?)
...I play the (insert instrument here)

(related chorus with oompapa's or whatever)

[stang]

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

What was the 2nd part of Happy Birthday?

I completely cannot remember it. It was like a 2nd song that accompanied it with something about "many more" or "channel 4" or something?

And many more on channel 4,
And scooby doo on channel 2,

[stang]

Wake up in the morning
Put feet on the floor
Do the 50 metre dash to the bathroom door
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

If you're climbing up a ladder
And you feel something splatter,
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!

If you're sitting on your bed
And you feel something spread,
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!

When you’re sliding into home
And you feel some thing foam
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're waiting with your mum it come out ya* bum
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're running up the stairs it comes out yer* flares
Diarrhea, diarrhoea!

I was walking down the lane
and I felt a funny pain
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

so I went behind a bush
and it came out in a rush
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

It comes out your bum
like pedigree chum
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

It shoots out your bum
like a bullet from a gun
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you come into your home
and your pants are full of foam
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

I was running in a race
and I felt some on my face
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

I was sitting in a tree
And it trickled on my knee
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're sliding into first
and you feel something burst
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you're sliding into second
and your shorts are fuller than you've reckoned
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you’re sliding into third
And you lay a juicy turd
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're sliding into home
and you feel the warm foam
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're driving in your Chevy
and your shorts are getting heavy
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're driving in your Ford
and your pants are fulla turd
Diarrhea, diarrhea!!

When yer lyin in yer bed
and its runnin down yer leg
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

I was walking in the attic
and my bum went automatic
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're sittin' on a cushion
and you really feel it pushin'
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When your running from a cop
and you hear sumthin plop
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you think you look cute
and you feal a liitle poot
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you think you just passed gass
but then you feal sumthin wet in your as
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When your fealing on your tooshie
and you feal squishie
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When your workin in the kitchin
and you feal sumthin itchin
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When your sittin and your ****tin
and your butt starts spittin
diarrhea diarrhea

When you think your almost there
and you have some time to spare
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When your lickin on your sucker
and your ass stars to pucker
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

I was walkin' down the hall, and I heard somthing fall,
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're sitting in your class
and it's blowing out your ass
Diarrhea, diarrhea!!

When you're looking at a movie
and out comes a poopie.
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you think it's just a poop
but it comes out like soup
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're playing with your pet
and your butt is moist and wet
Diarrhea, diarrhea!!

When you're playing in the park
and you're seeing something dark
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're rolling' like a tire
cuz your intestines are on fire
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When the feeling's not that nice
and you have to flush it twice
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you're on the seat for hours
and it doesn't smell like flowers
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When your stomach starts a rollin'
and you're cleaning out your colon
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

Toilet paper you need to gather
cuz your butt worked up a lather
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You think you're feeling better
but you keep on getting wetter
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

If you think your friends are jokin'
but your pants are brown and soakin'
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You don't feel like a winner
when your butt blows out your dinner
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You really want to shout
as it keeps on dripping out
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You’re sitting on the pot
cuz it's coming out a lot
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

It’s sounds just like a horn
as your butt pops out some corn
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You’re there in the huddle
and you're standing in a puddle
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You just made a tackle
and it splattered out like spackle
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You’re going out for a pass
and it blows right out your ass
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

It’s really flowing loose
like it's running through a goose
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you're shopping at the store
and it's dripping on the floor
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

If you eat an extra cherry
and your belly's feeling scary
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You’re acting like a fool
and your pants fill up with stool
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You really want to play
but your butt begins to spray
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You know you're having trouble
when your butt begins to bubble
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

That’s the way it goes
when your butt thinks it's a hose
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

If you're feeling kinda funky
cuz your butt is kinda skunky
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

If you think you hear it raining
perhaps your butt is draining
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

If you're swimming in a pool
and you leave a trail of stool
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When your stomach's really hurting
and your butt it starts a squirting
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

If your running really fast
cuz it's squirting out your ass
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

If your butt's about to spew
and there's nothing you can do
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

Your stomach's feeling wavy
while your butt is making gravy
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

If you feel you need to scream
cuz your butt spews out a cream
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

If your fun begins to fizzle
cuz you feel it start to drizzle
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You think you're gonna fart
but you blow your pants apart
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

What you thought was just a fart
just made your pants a work of art
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

I was sitting in a tree
and it trickled down my knee
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

If you find a peanut on your pinky
and your finger's kinda stinky
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

I can tell by the smell
your not feeling very well
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

It’s when you strain to hear the words
and the whole theater hears your turds
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

It’s when you're foamin' at the ass
but you're just laughin' from the grass
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you weed and feed your grass
with liquid fertilizer ass
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

You try to hold your breath
as you're leaking liquid death
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

Just when you think its gonna stop
you gotta run and get a mop
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you're running in a race
and something splatters in your face
someone else's
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When your stool is kinda loose
Just like grass goin thru a goose
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

when you eat at pizza hut
and your ass just won't stay shut
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When it hits you in a flash
and you make a gooey splash
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you're feeling kinda sick
and you need a toilet quick
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

when you're sliding into first
and you feel something burst
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're sliding into second
and you feel something beckon
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you're sliding into third
and you feel a little turd
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you're sliding into home
and you feel a burst of foam
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you're driving down the road
and you gotta drop a load
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you're driving in your chevy
and you feel something heavy
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

Some people think it's funny
but it's really hot and runny
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

No pain, no strain,
just sit and let it drain
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you think you've got to fart,
but your butt shoots out a dart
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you're climbing up the ladder
and you hear something splatter
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When you wake up in the morning
and your pants are overflowing
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When your doing hula hoop
and you squirt a squishy poop
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

[killer_carlson]

why does it not surprise me that an Oiler fan knows that song in that much detail

[JohnnyB]

Farty Bears,
Farting here and there and everywhere,
Blowing farts that are beyond compare,
They are the farty bears!

All through the forest
They fart out in chorus
....


Can't remember how the rest of it goes. Maybe someone else can fill in the rest.

[Rathji]

Was to lazy to type it out, so I googled. Ignore the hyperlinks.

Peter Murphy had a dog, a dirty dog was he,
He sold it to his neighbour, his neighbour was a she.

She fed it, she bred it,, she taught it how to jump.
It jumped up on her petticoat and bit her on her ...


Country boy, country boy, sitting on a rock.
Along came a bee and stung him on his ...

Cocktails, Cocktails, five cents a glass.
If you don't like it, shove it up your ...

Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.
If you ever get hit with a bucket of sh**, be sure to close your eyes.

[keenan87]

It's raining it's pouring the old man is snoring, he got ouf of bed and bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning!!

[sa226]

hahah

what you say is what you are now you're a naked boobie star!!!!

[shermanator]

In baseball we used to sing a song about how Davy Crockett had a smelly jockstrap....

[Crispy's Critter]

Do your balls hang low?
do they wiggle to and fro?
can you tie 'em in a knot?
can you tie 'em in a bow?
can you throw 'em over your shoulder
like a continental soldier?
do your balls hang low?

and another one I remember:
(not sure on the spelling of the french words)

The runaway train came down the track
parlez vous (par-lay voo)
The runaway train came down the track
parlez vous
The runaway train came down the track
hit the station one hell of a whack
inky dinky parlez vous

The conductor he was taking the fares
parlez vous
The conductor he was taking the fares
parlez vous
The conductor he was taking the fares
caught his nuts between two chairs
inky dinky parlez vous

there were a bunch of other verses, but don't remember them

Ah, school campouts were the best for learning dirty songs from the "cool" dads!

[dissentowner]

Old McDonald sitting on a fence
Picking his balls with a monkey wrench
The wrench got hot and he burned his balls
Then he p'ed his overalls.

[AvsJerk]

I remember something along the lines of...

She came from France,
Where the naked ladies dance.
There's a hole in the wall,
Where the men can see it all.

I think there was more to it? It carried a Persian beat I think.