EDIT - Dealt with for now.

[kirant]

EDIT - Removed

[stang]

Tell your parents. This is something you shouldn't keep from them.

He sounds depressed and needs to see someone about this.

[Jayems]

edit: i really have no advice. sorry.

[surferguy]

Do your best, call the hotline for more info is all I can add.

[pylon]

A hockey forum is not the place to get advice on this matter. Get your folks, and or a psychiatrist involved. They are the only people qualified.

[kermitology]

He needs to talk one on one with a professional.

[kirant]

Originally Posted by pylon

A hockey forum is not the place to get advice on this matter. Get your folks, and or a psychiatrist involved. They are the only people qualified.

Thanks. The only reason I went here is because I was looking for help and this is one of the few forums where I'm one of the oldest users (I felt asking some older users around here was the most helpful because they've had more years of experience with this sort of stuff).

...And my parents are of no help. All they've said was "He's done this before" apathetically.

[Jordan!]

Your parent's are THE issue here. This is a time for you as the older brother to take his side and to tell him, just be happy with your best.

[stang]

Originally Posted by kirant

...And my parents are of no help. All they've said was "He's done this before" apathetically.

Then tell someone else... School counceller, Your Dr, Teacher, Grandparents, Uncle, Aunt.... etc.

Anyone who will listen.

[pylon]

Originally Posted by kirant

Thanks. The only reason I went here is because I was looking for help and this is one of the few forums where I'm one of the oldest users (I felt asking some older users around here was the most helpful because they've had more years of experience with this sort of stuff).

...And my parents are of no help. All they've said was "He's done this before" apathetically.

I was not trying to brush your problems under the rug at all. If your parents are ignoring it , and you are genuinely concerned, you may have to take matters into your own hands and get help for your brother.

As someone who lost a sibling 14 years ago when I was 21, and was unable to save her, I would do anything to be able to go back in time and get her the help she needed for her personal problems at any and all costs. 14 years later I am still saying "what if I had.....?"

Your absolute last resort if he continues these thoughts and actions, and is unwilling to take help, is to call CPS. They have a lot of experience handling stuff like this.

[FlamingLonghorn]

Originally Posted by kirant

Thanks. The only reason I went here is because I was looking for help and this is one of the few forums where I'm one of the oldest users (I felt asking some older users around here was the most helpful because they've had more years of experience with this sort of stuff).

...And my parents are of no help. All they've said was "He's done this before" apathetically.

Well he might have done it before, but eventually it's going to get bad enough to where he is going to hurt himself or possibly others. You honestly need to tell your parents to get their heads out of their respective asses and realize what they are doing to their son. Parents need to realize that often what works for some kids doesn't work for others. Some need more nurturing and some need more discipline it's important for them to find the right balance. I am no expert but it seems like they might be the biggest problem.

[ricosuave]

pm sent

[MolsonInBothHands]

I am not a professional in these matters, but I do have hands on experience with both sides of this. I watched my wife deal with suicidal threats from an older brother, talking him down several times, and eventually the loss of him.

I have also dealt with, and am dealing with depression of my own. This is the third time I have sought treatment for it. I am turning 40 soon. (Dont think that is why :-) ) I can relate a lot to your brother - ISTJ, was a type A through highschool, not even close now. Straight A's for as long as I could remember. I have never been suicidal though, probably because I have seen too often what it leaves behind. I can also understand his regrets of wastefulness, not taking full advantage of life's opportunities can really weigh on you when things start spiralling.

Your brother needs help, and has come to YOU for it. He may not feel comfortable asking parents or counsellors, or they may not be taking his pleas seriously. You have to get them involved on his behalf. In addition, seek medical attention for him. A doctor can assess the severity of the depression, and get him treatment, but these are very slow acting - 6 weeks usually before it feels lke the cloud is lifting. Time is of the essence here. A doctor can also refer you to free mental health clinics to provide counselling. Don't scoff at these - they can give you methods of coping with depression, stress, and anxiety while you are in the six week window before the medical treatment works.

Depression is embarrasing, and paralyzing, and there is a lot of stigma attached to counselling, and the antidepressants. There will be pressure from people saying you don't need that garbage. I doubt any of them have dealt with medical depression. When your brother starts to feel better, he may feel the urge to take himself off the treatment, to get rid of that so called crutch. Let the professionals make that decision, or you risk the chance of relapse. Like I said, I have been where your brother is three times.

The good news is your brother is still young, and can get a handle on this relatively early. I think I was fightng gradually increasing depression off and on for 20 years before getting the kind of help I needed, and still need. That is truly wasteful.

Good luck.

[Bibtin Tex]

Get him help, your parents need to know that they're having a huge influence over his self-worth, and that they need to understand that their son's well being and health, is much more important than his marks.

If you have a really open relationship with your brother, and talk to him a lot, you could also talk about how he feels quite often, and just be there as support for him, because it really sounds like your parents aren't providing much of it for him at this point. I could be wrong about your parent's effect on him, or their actions in general, and I'm sorry if I am, but this is just how I see it.

[killer_carlson]

I had a close friend commit suicide in april. None of us knew his issues. We all wish we did.

It's terrible. I think of him all the time. My mind goes to his memory a lot during the Olympics (he was from Vancouver).

This isn't something to mess around with. Get some help, call a professional, and go through the entire thing with your brother. This is a time where you need to do what you can to take the stress out of the situation, and as a result, relying upon a trained professional is the best way to do so.

Move fast, because the other side of this is really tough to deal with.

[kirant]

Thanks to all for the advice.

[jar_e]

On the legal side of things, you as a family can apply for a mental health warrant through the courts...which may allow police to apprehend him and bring him to a hospital...or if CPS were to attend, and your brother met the criteria, would be placed under arrest under a form 10 of the mental health act and would be transported to a hospital where he would see a mental health specialist.

[Resolute 14]

Can't echo it enough - but get him help. Get him in to see a pyschiatrist. A one on one might help him, especially if you are there to support him through it. That he was willing to talk to you about it is a good sign, it means he is reaching out for help.

There is a group out of the Telvent Building on MacLeod and Southland that I've dealt with in the past - under the trade name Psychology Plus that I can recommend. 403-258-3734.

I can't offer much in the way of advice since I am not qualified (obviously), but I can say from personal experience that having the support of loved ones can be critical. It sounds like he is looking for help, so hopefully he will keep reaching to live as long as he knows people around him want to help.

[kirant]

Thanks again to all. After a screaming contest with my parents, I've convinced them that this actually matters. My brother has calmed down a bit (for now, we'll see for the future).

I can only hope it stays this way.

[BlackArcher101]

Good on you for confronting your parents. Don't assume things will stay this way... he still needs to get the professional help he requires.