ok, I've worked retail off/on for the last four years. I like some of the stories, the wacko customers, and the people I worked with. Am I sad it's over... not really, but some things I'll miss:
I got a DVD player for Christmas, and my TV only has the spot where the cable screws on.
you need an RF Modulator sir, they run $49.99
isn't there an adapter or something?
well that'd be the modulator
no I mean something like a few dollars
sorry, just the modulator
no I've seen an adapter that'd do it.
well sir, you've seen a phono to coax adapter, and you're partially right, it will allow you to hook one of your three coloured phono plugs into your television, however it won't work.
well why NOT?!?!?!
because your DVD player sends our a radio frequency signal, something your television does not accept, if you merely put an adapter onto your cord and plug it in nothing will happen, and you won't even be able to watch your cable. What you need is an RF modulator that will transform your Radio Frequency signal to an analog signal your TV will accept, in other words you need to go from Digital to Analog, the RF Modulator is the only thing we have that will do that, you can even hook your cable into this so you don't have to unhook your cable or DVD player when you want to use the other... and it's $49.99
but that's how much the DVD player cost, why don't they tell you that?
well most TVs for atleast the least 5 years (trying to be nice and not say the last gazillion years) has had the red, white, and yellow inputs on it. Why they don't specifically tell you I don't know, if I was in a position to put that on the box, then I wouldn't be standing here.
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Ok I hooked my DVD player up to my TV but the thing won't work, I got my friend who's an electronics expert (ok, sidebar, if you're an electronics expert, or a computer expert, or if you refer to someone as an expert in anything, they know JACK, you ain't foolin' anyone) to hook it up, it's a piece of junk.
alright sir, so you have the DVD players cords hooked up, yellow to yellow, white to white, and red to red
YES I'm not a moron
ok, and you're not getting any picture OR sound?
NO, THAT'S WHAT I'M TELLING YOU (yelling at the guy trying to help you instantly means that they know the layout of your entertainment system)
ok sir, is your TV on channel 3 or 4 by chance?
Yeah it's on channel 3, same as the VCR, and nothing, piece of crap
well sir you need to put your TV onto it's video input
Video input? What's that? My TV doens't have one of those
sir, if you can plug the DVD player into your TV you have a video input, do you have the remote there?
= now it goes one of two ways
1. they read off the buttons on the remote being p*ssed off that I don't instantly know that their remote has a "TV/Video" button, and not an "input" or "video" or "tv/vcr" or "line" button
2. they don't have the original remote, it's MIA, in the garbage, dropped in the kitchen sink (litterally a responce I had, I couldn't make that up) to which they get p*ssy that they can't do it unless there's a button on the TV itself... which is rare, and of course they never have it.
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what do you mean you can't look up the reciept for something I bought at the store across town?
sorry we can only look up our reciepts and extended warranties, did you get the extended warranty?
no, they're good for nothing (obviously not if I could solve your problem right now if you had it)
then you'll have to go to the store you bought it at
what?!?!? but that's out of my way, that's very inconvenient (what do you mean... you originally bought it there!!!)
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what do you mean my cell phone isn't covered under warranty?
it's wet sir, it doesn't cover water damage
THIS IS POOR CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!!
(no it's just not idiotic customer service, having to REPLACE a $300-$500 piece of equiptment)
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speaking of cell phones, why can't people understand that cell phones aren't really free... you get a discount for signing a contract
"my cell phone is broken, why can't I pay $50 for this one"
"because the cellphone costs $350, Rogers gives you a $300 discount for signing a 3 yr contract"
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There's no difference between dollar store batteries and alkalines
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I walk up to the counter
Jon: How are you today
Lady: My camera's not working! I took communion pictures on it, and it didn't work, now I'll never get them back! I want a new camera!
Jon: well let's take a look.
I look up the extended warranty onto the camera, as she said she bought it, along with testing the camera.
I turn the camera on. Click to take the picture and it shuts off. I ask if that's what the camera was doing. She said yes. She told me that it took her 8 sets of batteries to take 6 pictures. I think that this is odd. Going through sets of batteries, and it's shutting off. She told me she'd been trying all kinds of batteries, "Duracell, and everything"
queue lightblub!
I open up the camera, and what do I find
2 Duracell Alkaline Batteries? Nope
2 Lithiumion Batteries? Nope
2 Nickel-Metal Hydryde Batteries? Nope
I find..................
2 SUPER HEAVY DUTY BATTERIES! FREAKIN' FLASHLIGHT BATTERIES!!!
She was using flashlight batteries in a digital camera, and can't understand why it's not working.
I explain what "battery power" is, and why she should use rechargable Ni-Mi batteries. She said she had them, I asked how many pictures she'd get. I'd get lots more pictures when I used them... but it only lasted, ugh 15 minutes or so?
Then she rants about how they replaced the camera before, and she wants a new one. I explain that the extended warranty covers repair not replacement. She's NOT pleased, and says the camera's not working.
John the assitant manager is also telling her the same thing. I even showed her the camera working with good batteries. She did NOT believe me. I mean camera takes picture, saves picture, ergo working. Nope, apparently the laws of physics do not apply on Mondays!
So finally we decide to send the camera out for repair, she didn't want her name on the reciept for repair, so we put her husbands, who cares. What do you want us to do?
~~NEWSFLASH~~
If you bring in a 2 yr old camera that WORKS, we're not replacing it for you!
freakin' flashlight batteries in a digital camera, ladies and gentleman THIS is what I have to put up with.....
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now what might be my favourite story:
A man walks in with his girlfriend. He looks like he's a reject from a Moncton high school. Missing teeth, jean jacket, generic torn up t-shirt (as opposed to Pat's simply generic t-shirts) and to cap it all off a generic ball cap, blue beak, and Breton Toyota written across it. No offense Deer but if your dad sold this guy a car, I'd lose all respect for him, and torch your house... you'd deserve it IF he sold him a car. He was THAT bad!
Has a sobey's bag, in it a Koss CD clock radio. That's it. He says it's skipping his CD's causing scratches on them, NEW CDs!!, and he wants a refund. I'm thinking "oooooooooo kay" I ask if he has a receipt (an easy way to say no if he doesn't have it). Surprisingly he does. I look at it, within the 30 day return policy. But still no box, no packaging.
I go to the assistant manager and ask what to do. The radio is discontinued, so it's not like we can exchange it for a new one.
John (assistant manager) goes over and asks what's wrong with it. They tell him, I get a cd, and he listens. Plays PERFECTLY. Tries a number of tracks, fine, and no scratches. They said it skips for them. John goes out back and gets his own store bought CD. Sure enough works perfectly.
Guy: Well it doesn't work for us, I want my money back.
John: well sir, do you have your box and packaging?
Guy: I want my money back, I have the receipt
John: I see that but I need the box and packaging as well
Guy: I have the receipt
John: I see that but I need the box and packing
Guy: I have the receipt
John: I see that but I need the box and packing
Guy: I want my money back, I'm gonna call the police
John: ok
Guy: can I use your phone?
John: it's in use at the moment (aka no)
the guy WAITS for the phone
I go out back and make sure the security video is picking this up.
The guy takes the phone and dials........
911!!!!!!!!!!!
To ask what the number for the police is!!!!!!
John: You can't call 911, it's not an emergency!
He gives the guy a phone book. He can't find the number
he turns to me and says: What page is the number for the police on?
me: I dunno?
guy: DON'T YOU LIVE HERE?!?!?
me: yes, but I don't know what page the number for the police is on
at this point Rick, the other guy working, goes out back and calls security.
After ranting about calling the police, and taking us to court, security shows up
Rick walks up to him with AJ the security guard
Rick: Well sir, there is nothing else we can do for you today, if you wish to come in and see the manager he will be in Wednesday morning, for now your cd player is over there on the counter along with your receipt. I am now asking you to leave the store
Guy: I'm not leaving the store I'm calling the police
Rick: as a representative of the store I'm asking you politely to leave
Guy: I'm not leaving!!!!
Rick: oh yes you are
AJ: OK LISTEN BUDDY YOU'RE LEAVING, OR I'M CALLING THE POLICE AND YOU'LL BE BARRED FOR A YEAR. I'M SERVING YOU YOUR NOTICE RIGHT NOW, I DIAL YOU'RE GONE. YOU WANT ME TO CALL THE POLICE!??!?
Guy: Yes I would, please call them for me
AJ: I CALL THE POLICE THEY'RE TAKING YOU AWAY, AND YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK, BARRED FOR A YEAR
Guy: call them!
Guy's girlfriend: Let's just go
AJ dials the police: Yes this is security at the Sydney Shopping Centre.....
(to the guy) Are you leaving???
(to police) ok cancel that
Myself, Rick, John: hahahahahaha
what a day
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oh how I'll miss customer service..... wait a second no I won't