What's with all these ridiculous emails?

[alltherage]

I just have to laugh at how stupid these are. Nice wording.

Attn/Dear,
I would like to apply through this medium for your co-operation and to secure an opportunity to invest and do joint business with you in your country.
I have a substantial capital i honourably intend to invest in your country into a very lucrative business venture of which you are to advise and execute the said venture over there for the mutual benefits of both of us.
Your able co-operation is to become my business partner in your country and create ideas on how money will be invested,properly managed and the type of investment after the money is transferred to your custody with your assistance.
Meanwhile, on indication of your willingness to handle this transaction sincerely by protecting our interests and upon your acceptance of this proposal, I would furnish you with the full detailed information, procedure,amount involve and mutually agree on your percentage interest or share holding for helping me to secure the release of the deposit and investing the money.
I shall be glad to reserve this respect and opportunity for you, if you so desire, but do urge you
to give the matter your immediate attention it deserves.

Looking forward to your response.
Yours Faithfully,
Tipson Mora Jr.

Do you guys ever get crap like this? Post them if they are funny... I just thought the wording in this was so stupid I had to post.

[missdpuck]

Originally Posted by alltherage

I just have to laugh at how stupid these are. Nice wording.



Do you guys ever get crap like this? Post them if they are funny... I just thought the wording in this was so stupid I had to post.

There were several like this posted on the Ultimate Guitar forum. One guy followed one of them through as if he was interested and they ended up asking him to deposit money into some foreign bank account as a good faith gesture. They used to do stuff like this through the regular mail and it was known as the Nigeria Scambut they are fun to read..like the English directions for some Chinese-made products.

[Ro]

I don't have the original e-mail, but last week I got one from my Grandpa that said he was stranded in Africa and was desperate for money to get home. The way it was worded (similar to yours above) it was obvious it was a scam, probably some kind of malware/virus that sends the same e-mail to all of his e-mail contacts. I phoned him to let him know he needed my younger brother to go over there and clean everything up for him.

A couple days ago he sent this e-mail to me, and it made me laugh:

Do not send money to Africa. I have received two calls from friends who have been requested for money by somebody in Nigeria pretending to be me and saying that I am broke. I am not in Africa, I am at home. I am not yet broke either so don't send money to Africa. If you really want to send money to me I will take it but will not give you interest nor pay you back. Thanks Ron

[llama64]

I got two spam emails the otherday. Their subject lines cracked me up like nothing else:

- Women gets humped by bears
- The Legend in Bagger's Pants

Both linked to some vitamin supplement page (not even an "enlargement" page). Or at least I think they did... not like I actually clicked on it.

[Vena]

I tend to win a lot of international lotteries. Go figure. This was the only one in my junk mail:

MALAYSIAN NATIONAL LOTTERY.
3420 PERSIARAN SEPANG 63000
CYBERJAYA SELANGOR DARUL EHSAN
MALAYSIA.
Ref: MY/9420X2/68
Batch: 074/05/ZY369

Dear Winner,

You are a winner of the MALAYSIA National lottery online program that was
held on the 6th of May 2008. You have been approved to claim a sum of $2.5
million USD. You are to contact our AFFILIATE CLAIMS AGENTS for delivery
of your winning certificate and winning cheque of $2.5 million USD.

Fill in the Form Below
Your Full names:
Address:
Occupation:
Sex:
Age:
Country

contact your claims agent with the details below

Mrs.Sarah Jonathan
Email: sarahjonathan2008@verizon.net

Congratulations once more from all members and staffs of this program.
Yours Truly,
Goh Song Keng.
Online Co-Ordinator

[BlackEleven]

There's a website where people reply to these scammers and trick them into doing all sorts of stupid stuff like getting tattoos, sending photos of themselves shirtless, joining fake churches and all sorts of weird things. Sometimes its pretty funny what these scammers will do....

http://www.419eater.com/

[Kjesse]

419eater is a great place to waste some time if you want to read some funny stories!

[OilersBaby]

Sadly there have been so many victims (most of them elderly) to these scams. Sometimes I wonder how these people can be dumb but I guess it's being naiive, not being dumb. I feel bad for these people.

[Rathji]

Darn, and all I get are photos of Angelina Jolie naked in my spam box.

[Russic]

I like how my work email alerts me of false links. I had one the other day from TD Bank and big red letters below the notice it said "We are detecting that this link is actually to www .chunkyfatchicks.com"

I had a good laugh.

[mykalberta]

Originally Posted by Russic

I like how my work email alerts me of false links. I had one the other day from TD Bank and big red letters below the notice it said "We are detecting that this link is actually to www .chunkyfatchicks.com"

I had a good laugh.

Hey, fat chicks need love to, but they have tio pay.

Ah, the never ending wisdom of FG.

[Gozer]

Subject line: Lohan Sentenced To Swabbing Morgue Corpses


Targeting pretty narrow demographic with that one. The "content" of the email includes the gem: Britney Spears Stashed Guns In Her *censored* - Papparazzi Duck For Cover

[Burninator]

Originally Posted by BlackEleven

There's a website where people reply to these scammers and trick them into doing all sorts of stupid stuff like getting tattoos, sending photos of themselves shirtless, joining fake churches and all sorts of weird things. Sometimes its pretty funny what these scammers will do....

http://www.419eater.com/

http://www.snopes.com/

Is a good one too.

[Neeper]

Man, I have spent so much time on 419 eaters reading those forums. You guys should find the story about 3D (Ed). They got him to go to Singapore for over week looking for his money. Then his girlfriend got kidnapped by pirates... such a good read. But I warn you, it's a long read, but so worth it!

Something like this happened to me 6 years ago. I had my truck for sale on buysell.com and a guy in Africa who imports vehicles contacted me. He even called so I thought nothing of it. Then I get a money order for $25000 USD when my truck was for sale at $8000 CAD. He said to just send him back the difference and a person will contact me soon to pick up the truck. I went to the bank to confirm the money order was good before I deposited it. 4 minutes later 2 plain clothes cops come into the bank and grab me and threw me in their cruiser. So damn embarrassing. Ever since then, I have always wanted to bait a scammer.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Neeper

4 minutes later 2 plain clothes cops come into the bank and grab me and threw me in their cruiser. So damn embarrassing. Ever since then, I have always wanted to bait a scammer.

Haha! It's 'cause you're brown!

I once got tricked into buying rims for my car off a guy that was selling them out of the back of a van. He had the whole story of how his boss over ordered and that they're just trying to get rid of inventory. Gave me a card with an address and swore up and down that they were the right rims for my car.

I took them to a shop to get them mounted and the owner told me that
a) they were the wrong rims for my car
b) they're stolen and I'd better get out of his shop before he calls the cops
c) don't be an idiot and buy stuff from people in vans

I tried to find the address on the card and the place didn't exist. I was out $500 (which is alot of money to a 17 y/o) and I had stolen property in the trunk of my car.
I can't remember what I did with those rims. I think I forgot them in the garage of a place I was renting...

[RougeUnderoos]

I got this one today:

China amassing troups - military analysts suspect superpower may invade US.

Exciting stuff for sure. I wonder if they meant "troops" or "troupes".

[4X4]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

I got this one today:

China amassing troups - military analysts suspect superpower may invade US.

Exciting stuff for sure. I wonder if they meant "troops" or "troupes".

I think they mean toupees. There are alot of bald men in america. The chinese are probably making brain altering hair pieces to take over the minds of american men the same way they're controlling the weather.

[rubecube]

I received this one on Tuesday:

Hello
Sir/Ma

Hope you are fine? I am sorry of my intrusion, I needed some assistance.
My name is Peter Anderson from northern Ireland. Though, I may not have
met with you previously but I found you by chance in my quest to seek for
one who can be of good assistant to me. You may be offended but please
accept my humble apology. Sincerely I needed a helper. The World is a
teacher,and we learn from it everyday no matter the profession. Assisting
me in time of distress can as well bring about some happiness and joy in
your life. I deal on drugs, and I did made some trips recently that I
realizes £11,500,000 GBP saved in UK finance Institution.However,I ran out
of favor with the corps in an Hotel in Nevada.
To cut this story short, I am currently writing you within the limited
chance I got with the US authority drugs law enforcement agency and
administration. I might be long here without nobody's notice, or jailed
after my trials. I have submitted my accounts details and I am afraid
if my deposit in UK Bank will not be affected. My US account with Century
Bank already frozen.It is this regard, I need a sincere person to transfer
this amount to via (OT) for save keeping.You will have 20% of the deposit
for showing concern after that you have received the fund into your care.

It's however a stiff penalty that will cost me years to overcome. In this
regard, a financial expert can be motivated to invest my fund as capital
to maximize profit till I return from jail.I don't need interest whatsoever
if that my amount after having your % is guaranteed.

Thank you, and looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Regards,
Peter Anderson

[BlackEleven]

Originally Posted by Burninator

http://www.snopes.com/

Is a good one too.

You mean to tell if the email is valid or not? I think common sense is a good enough approach for that.

[alltherage]

Sorry to bump an old thread, but wow. Just got this one from a buddy who's email is obviously hacked.

Dear friend,
how were you going? I would like to introduce you an really good space,there are mainly run various kinds of famous electornic products, it's true charm pioneer.Now the company is under promotion, all of the products are sold nearly as the same as their cost.
Charmpioneer renders the best service to customers, and provides you with original products which are very cheap, but good-quality.
It is really a good opportunity for taking action, let's go,just do it, and you will fall in love with it.
The web address: (www). kingacme.com