So I was in class the other day, and was talking with this girl before the instructor started the lecture. I asked her name.
She replied "Patonka"
I say "wow, what an original name! you don't hear that one everyday"
She said "Actually, I do!"
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News anchors Dan Rather and Peter Jennings, NPR Reporter
Cokie Roberts, along with a U.S. Marine assigned to protect them
were hiking through the Iraq desert one day when they were
captured by Iraqis.They were tied up, led to a village, and brought
before the leader.
The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting
the condemned a last wish; so, before we kill and dismember you,
do you have any last requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of
hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and
returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die
content."
Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song 'O
Canada' one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had
studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with
some rag-tag musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed
and declared he could now die peacefully.
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to
happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was
on the job till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over
the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then
said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your
final wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the
Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm
pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the
resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M16
Rifle, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis
were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they
asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them at the start? Why did
you ask them to kick you in the ass first?"
"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three ***holes call me
the aggressor?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Mr and Mrs Darryl Sutter were snuggling one night. Darryl's feet touched against Mrs Sutters, to which she yelped "God your feet are cold". Darryl replied "Honey, it's the off season, you can call me Darryl"
<-----Check the Badge bitches. You want some Awesome, you come to me!
