Best Man Speech help - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Rhettzky · 07-17-2006, 10:46 AM

I'm sure some people here have had to go through the task of writing a best man speech at least once in their life. So I'd like to ask if anyone can share things that worked really well, things that really bombed and any other tips you could offer.

When I started I didn't really think of how hard this was going to be but as I get deeper into writing it I'm starting to get a little worried that I don't know what the hell I am doing. It doesn't help that I'm not much of a public speaker in the first place and guarantee I'll be nervous about addressing the guests but I just want to make sure I say enough to get the job done but not too much that people start yawning mid-way.

Bill Bumface · 07-17-2006, 10:55 AM

I heard a great line in a best man speech this weekend. Something like:

"As the best man I have 3 jobs on the wedding day. Make sure the groom is on time, make sure *something else I can't remember*, and make sure the groom looks good. The first two were no problem, but if God couldn't get it right the first time, I ain't no plastic surgeon."

Lanny_MacDonald · 07-17-2006, 10:57 AM

Don't mention that you did the bride before she hooked up with her new husband. That can only lead to very bad things. And if you're going to use the old "the people are naked" routine to get past your stage freight, make sure there are no really hot chicks that you're going to be imagining naked, or make sure you have a large podium in front of you.

ken0042 · 07-17-2006, 10:58 AM

Just make sure the story is short, and to the point. If you ever find yourself saying "to make a long story short....." then you are already too late.

And make sure the stories are ones that will appeal to the entire group, from the grandparents to the younger adults. Not everybody will appreciate the story of the time you guys stuck a dead hooker in his hotel room.

JiriHrdina · 07-17-2006, 10:59 AM

Obviously personal stories about the groom are good...and they can be embarassing though there is a line that should not be crossed. Specifically it's OK to embarass the guy but if they story is going to directly or indirectly embarass the bride - leave it in the vault.

Even better is if you have a funny story about the couple. When I gave a bestman speech I had a little story about the groom's inability to remember the bride's name when they first started dating. It was a good story to use as it involved both people.

J pold · 07-17-2006, 11:02 AM

This one is a pretty good ice breaker

Ladies and gentlemen, I am the best man so in time-honoured tradition, I will now do my best to give Paul the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life. For the record, the most uncomfortable five minutes of Linda's life will becoming later on this evening, courtesy of Paul.

peter12 · 07-17-2006, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhettzky

I'm sure some people here have had to go through the task of writing a best man speech at least once in their life. So I'd like to ask if anyone can share things that worked really well, things that really bombed and any other tips you could offer.

When I started I didn't really think of how hard this was going to be but as I get deeper into writing it I'm starting to get a little worried that I don't know what the hell I am doing. It doesn't help that I'm not much of a public speaker in the first place and guarantee I'll be nervous about addressing the guests but I just want to make sure I say enough to get the job done but not too much that people start yawning mid-way.

Don't try to be funny. Just speak from the heart. If you're the guy's best man, chances are you're pretty close to him. Tell the audience what he means to you and why he is good for the bride.

FurnaceFace · 07-17-2006, 11:13 AM

Jiri's suggestions are good.

I had one groom who asked me to do the speech because he thought I had less "dirt" on him than his other friends. This comment was encorporated into the speech. I started off embarrassing him by telling him he forgot something last weekend and pulled out the left over can of whip cream from his stag. It got a good laugh and he turned red. Best thing is to make the stories somewhat embarassing to him and let out some dirt that his parents didn't know is always fun.

I did another toast for a friend and I mentioned the time we took his parents car out and did a 360 on the street and then he proceeded to get it stuck in a snow drift. Crowd laughed, mother looked at him disapprovingly, it was all good. That was a strange toast as my friend married a woman from japan and the ceremony was there. Here I am giving a toast to a room full of Japanese and a couple of tables of Canadians while the MC would translate each paragraph of my speech. I had no idea how well the funny stories would go over given the translation but they seemed to laugh at the right moments so it worked out. It was a really fun experience anyway.

peter12 · 07-17-2006, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fotze

There is a fine line there too. Don't turn it into a big suckfest and start blubbering.

Good point. Keep it strictly on a manly emotional type speech. That means, no emotions. Throw in a good memory, say he's a good buddy, loyal etc.. and then wrap'er up.

c.t.ner · 07-17-2006, 11:35 AM

My advice would be to keep it under five minutes, don't drink too much before hand and don't be affraid to use one liners. You have to be funny, quick, hearfelt and politcally correct. Practise it a couple times before the wedding and make sure the timing is good.

Google best man speeches and plagerize some of the classic cheesy one liners. There are thousands of one-liners out there that will go over pretty well in front of a room full of middle-aged people. Don't be affraid to use them.

The best advice I found was from a website, which basically explained that the Best Man speech was one of the easiest things in the world to do. It's may seem difficult at first, but you have to remeber that everyone in the room is rooting for you. They've been drinking for a while and all the proceedings have been fairly serious up until that moment. You are the guy who will lighten up the room and start the party section of the wedding. So be funny, quick and play to the auidence. Nobody wants to see you fail, they just want you to go up there tell an embarrassing story and make them laugh.

ken0042 · 07-17-2006, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fotze

There is a fine line there too. Don't turn it into a big suckfest and start blubbering.

As much as I would normally agree with this; there was one wedding I went to where the couple had each been through hell before they met, and then everything just started falling into place for them. The speeches were a bit of a blubber fest, but the bottom line is it was their day. It was what they wanted, so it was all good. Those of us who weren't there just for the free booze realized it.

I guess it depends on the couple.

Buff · 07-17-2006, 02:02 PM

When my cousin got married, his best man, Marc, started to cry during the speech. It was funny, his voice was cracking up and everything. It was hilarious. He was crying over stupid little stuff, like a soccer tournament they played in and other weird things like that. His crying, and it was legit, was humor in itself.

Later when the Bride & Groom did their thank you speech, the groom started to get choked up when he got to the part about his parents and quipped "Aw geez, now I'm getting the Marcs".

So crying during the best man speach can also set up for some humor later on too.

Rhettzky · 07-17-2006, 03:27 PM

Wow, thanks for all the tips guys. This really puts it into perspective for me though...

Quote:

Originally Posted by c.t.ner

The best advice I found was from a website, which basically explained that the Best Man speech was one of the easiest things in the world to do. It's may seem difficult at first, but you have to remeber that everyone in the room is rooting for you. They've been drinking for a while and all the proceedings have been fairly serious up until that moment. You are the guy who will lighten up the room and start the party section of the wedding. So be funny, quick and play to the auidence. Nobody wants to see you fail, they just want you to go up there tell an embarrassing story and make them laugh.

I'm probably going to print that off and read it right before I grab the mic. Great advice.

I'll probably try and keep it short, make sure I thank all the right people, tell a story (Just have to think of one that fits), a couple light hearted jabs and finish off with a best wishes toast.

Maritime Q-Scout · 07-17-2006, 03:29 PM

Rhettzky,

Before I get into some tips I want to tell you I have and extensive background in public speaking. I've done some coaching, and am willing to help out whenever possible. That said here are a few tips to help you give a GREAT best man speech.

If you're not much of a public speaker, and will be very nervous, this is the biggest tip to do well

KEEP IT SHORT

do not go on an epic recounting several stories from childhood about the groom, then how you introduced the groom to the bride via a comedy of errors. *IF* you're nervous, and not a great public speaker now's not the time to try and win speach of the year with a perfect 35 minute address. Short, simple, and to the point.

Now as far as formatt goes (as it seems like you're getting woried by your post)

Start with a simple introduction, something along the lines of:

"Hello, as some of you may or may not know, I'm (Rhettzky) and have the honour of being the best man for (Groom) tonight."

Then I liked the joke hulkrogan posted

"As the best man I have 3 jobs on the wedding day. Make sure the groom is on time, make sure I have the wedding rings, and make sure the groom looks good. The first two were no problem, but if God couldn't get it right the first time, I ain't no plastic surgeon."

Then maybe something about the bride

"On the other hand (bride) looks beautiful, (groom) you found yourself a real keeper there, she's a gem"

If you could tell one cute story about the groom here. Segway like

"I can't believe a moron like you could end up with a girl like that, I mean there was this one time..." Tell the story that's not offensive, doesn't break any laws, but funny, like the time he walked into a parking meter, or something.

Then a simple closing like

"Those were good times my friend, good times indeed... and we both know that there will be many more good times in store for you in the future. "

now go sappy

"Congratulations buddy, may you live forever in each others arms"

That's pretty much all you need, if you're not comfortable in front of a crowd.

(Can you tell that I am procrastinating doing some readings?)

Jayems · 02-23-2007, 01:44 AM

McBumpster.

My speech is still about 4 months away, but i have to start getting down to it, so i'm going to keep it here. Anyone who has some more good jokes, I'd appreciate it.

icarus · 02-23-2007, 01:53 AM

"True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom, blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double-team your girlfriend..."

corporatejay · 02-23-2007, 02:14 AM

seriously dude, stay away from cliched jokes, I can't stand them, I strictly forbade myself from using them in my best man speech, they are just straight up lame...if it requires a rim shot, it's not funny.

I told stories about me and the groom, me and the bride (i knew them both before they were together) and then a story about the two of them.

All in all i think my speech was about 7 or 8 minutes (maybe ten when i actually delivered it) and to be honest I got a lot of people coming up and saying that, "that was great, thank you for not rambling on, concise, funny, to the point".

no one wants a 20 minutes speech, trust me.

stang · 02-23-2007, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jayems

McBumpster.

My speech is still about 4 months away, but i have to start getting down to it, so i'm going to keep it here. Anyone who has some more good jokes, I'd appreciate it.

A line I used....

Look at your watch and say

"Well I guess I should be finishing up... They say the best mans speech should be as long as the groom takes to make love. So I really should have been done 3 minutes ago."

I have done 3 speechs so far (I am only 24) and have a couple still saved here. If you PM me your email I could email them for you. THey have always gone over pretty good.

stang · 02-23-2007, 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by corporatejay

seriously dude, stay away from cliched jokes, I can't stand them, I strictly forbade myself from using them in my best man speech, they are just straight up lame...if it requires a rim shot, it's not funny.

I told stories about me and the groom, me and the bride (i knew them both before they were together) and then a story about the two of them.

All in all i think my speech was about 7 or 8 minutes (maybe ten when i actually delivered it) and to be honest I got a lot of people coming up and saying that, "that was great, thank you for not rambling on, concise, funny, to the point".

no one wants a 20 minutes speech, trust me.

You have to throw some good jokes in between stories. No matter how cliched they are. 7-8 min is a good time. 20 is way too long.

The Goon · 02-23-2007, 08:11 AM

There's nothing I hate more than a best man who is stammering through a speech. The day is not about you-get up there, be confident, say a few nice words about the couple, sit down. Struggling through a ten-minute speech peppered with "you know" and "uhhhh" while you clutch your notes tightly is just bad form all around.

Make sure to hook up with a bridesmaid later.