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Old 08-19-2008, 10:34 AM   #1
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Let's hear the stories of your first time having sex, I bet some would be pretty funny?
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Old 08-19-2008, 10:43 AM   #2
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How about you start?
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Old 08-19-2008, 10:50 AM   #3
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I'm sure the mods will be watching this one, with BATED breath.
Fotze, you are the MASTUR
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Old 08-19-2008, 10:56 AM   #4
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It seems this thread is only getting self-service.
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Old 08-19-2008, 10:58 AM   #5
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Okay. In all seriousness I will start.

I was really scared the first time I had sex. I was all alone.
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Old 08-19-2008, 10:59 AM   #6
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:06 AM   #7
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Camping. Seriously, it's a legitimate strategy. (see my userbars)

But no, seriously, camping.
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:16 AM   #8
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I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:18 AM   #9
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Camping. Seriously, it's a legitimate strategy. (see my userbars)

But no, seriously, camping.
Lol. Me too. Afterward, she got stung by a wasp. Haha!
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:33 AM   #10
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I was 8, she was 36 and she bought along her daughter, half way through her twin sister stumbled into the room drunk and offered to join in. Of course I was magnificant and the twins and the daughter knowing that they would never hit the heights of pleasure that I had given them again joined a convent and gave their vows.
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:33 AM   #11
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She said that the wasp and you felt the same.
Ha ha. I knew there was a joke in there. I like the direct approach.

As for me: drunk and clumsy with a lot of talk like "No no, not there, here...".
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:37 AM   #12
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Mine was pretty unfortunate...

He was an older, dirty, Brit.
I was young, naive, and very drunk. It wasn't pretty!
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:41 AM   #13
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Let's hear the stories of your first time having sex, I bet some would be pretty funny?
It was with you, and I'm a little peeved you claim to not recall it.
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:42 AM   #14
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Mine was pretty unfortunate...

He was an older, dirty, Brit.
I was young, naive, and very drunk. It wasn't pretty!
Ah, so you werent enthused?
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:47 AM   #15
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Ah, so you werent enthused?
Definitely less than enthused!

But really, who wasn't with their first time?
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:47 AM   #16
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I was 17, she was 16 and we were watching a movie in her basement on a Friday night about a month after we met at a high school party.

Then her parents went out for supper.
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:52 AM   #17
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Listen
They say the first time aint the greatest
But I tell ya
If I had the chance 2 do it all again
I wouldnt change a stroke
cause baby Im the most
With a girl as fine as she was then
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:52 AM   #18
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I am sure it will be magical...
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:55 AM   #19
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I think this belongs in the "You're doing it wrong" thread.
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:59 AM   #20
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It was wonderful for me..........but the first words out of her mouth were "this isn't supposed to be a race!"

I guess I was a little "speedy" that first time. I'd like to think things have improved dramatically since then.
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